Herc climbed up onto her tank and whispers into her ear, "I love you."
The Native Princess stared at Herc with her eyes for a long moment, her jaw gaping open like the mouth of the surprised person. "What did you say?"
"I said, I love you. And I mean it. Honest." Herc rubbed at the back of neck, scratched his nose and looked off to the side with shifty eyes.
The Native Princess slid from her tank and yanked a French flag from her pocket. She waved it in the universal symbol for surrender. "I surrender," she said, adopting the traditional French accent associated with tapping out when things get a bit tough. She turned to her army of mercenaries and natives. "Herc Braveman has shown me the error of my ways,” she declared. She turned and wrapped herself around Herc, enclosing him in her arms, kissing him like a frantic aunt.
Pulling away, Herc mounted the tank bravely and addressed the gathered mercenaries and natives when the cheers eventually died down. "We came here on a quest to find the McGuffin. Though our mission may seem like a failure, I have realised something very important — the McGuffin was in our hearts all along." Cheers and whoops echoed around the barren concrete.
Lolita ran forward with M-ArtIn at her side, waving her hands rudely. "The McGuffin was in Ambassador Chekhov's office all along. It was her gun. She wanted the P. L. O. T. device to get the unobtainium — the gun runs on on unobtainium and it could easily destroy this entire planet."
Herc rolled his eyes and watches as the other men salivated over his totally hot niece. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of giving a rousing speech?" he said. “As if Chekhov’s gun would play into anything important. She said herself it was of no consequence.”
Ambassador Chekhov emerged from her Space Palace with her space gun locked, cocked and fully loaded. She laughed like an insane cat and shot the Native Princess, disintegrating her with a single shot. "You mercenaries are working for me now,” she declared. “Round-up those natives and get them shipped off to Earth. The Intragalactic King is going to be wanting some new slaves."
Herc sauntered over to the ambassador and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Good work," he said. "I'm afraid our mission was unsuccessful. We were unable to find the McGuffin. We have failed you and for that we apologise." Herc dropped to his knees and pleaded forgiveness.
"You have done more than I could have asked for, Captain Braveman. Have you ever noticed how the word ‘Herc’ almost looks like the word ‘hero’? I don't think that's a coincidence."
Herc got to his feet and brushed the Wolverhampton grime from his gleaming captain's uniform. "The intergalactic Empire calls."
Herc, M-ArtIn and Lolita made their across the concrete towards the V4 landing capsule. “That was an excellent mission,” said Herc. “Another success for the Intragalactic Empire.”
Lolita frowned, but she still looked dead hot. “You do realise you were duped? You do realise that Ambassador Chekhov played you for a fool? If anyone is a space communist, it must be her. I just know it.”
“Nonsense, dear. You women and your imaginations.” Herc strode on ahead then tripped over the edge of a cliff, exactly like a brick would.
M-ArtIn and Lolita ran over to see him hanging by one hand over a huge drop into some molten lava.
Herc looked down then back up at his robot slave and niece. “I’ll be fine,” he said.
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Other Herc Braveman Adventures
No Mere Trifle
When Space Captain Herc Braveman is called to a backwater planet on the far edges of the Intragalactic Empire, he has to overcome impossible odds to save the Empire.
Accompanied by his trusty robot slave M-ArtIn and his barely legal niece, Lolita, Herc Braveman must use his brilliance and charm to bend the will of the Native Queen to the Empire's demands — but not everything is as it seems...
Herc's as brave as Han Solo, as smart as Indiana Jones, and he has the rugged good-looks of Harrison Ford in Blade Runner.
If you like comedy science fiction, rip-roaring action and exotic beauties, you'll love the Herc Braveman Adventures.
Herc Braveman is the only one who can save the day... and it will be no mere trifle!
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Very Dead Indeed
When Space Captain Herc Braveman is called to a technologically advanced world, he finds it has reverted to a medieval state. He knows something is wrong — damn wrong.
With his trusty robot slave M-ArtIn and his totally hot niece, Lolita, Herc discovers a mysterious obelisk which feeds on technology.
Can Herc Braveman defeat the dastardly obelisk without the use of his Space Blaster and Neuronice Space Whip?
Will Ambassador Platzhalter's beautiful daughter reject Herc's advances, or will she throw herself at him like most right-minded women?
How will M-ArtIn survive?
Find out the answers to these questions and more in this exciting installment of the Herc Braveman Adventures!
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About the Author
Herchel K. Stroganoff writes the Herc Braveman Adventures on his computer.
You can follow him on Twitter @HKStroganoff — he mostly tweets about Phil Collins.
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Copyright © 2017 by Herschel K. Stroganoff
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Quest for the McGuffin: A Herc Braveman Adventure (The Herc Braveman Adventures Book 3) Page 3