by Amber Lacie
“Come here and sit down.” Walking over to her desk, Christina motioned to one of the soft, plush gray chairs in front of her.
Sitting down, I let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t want you to think I can’t do this job.”
“Never said I thought that. Listen, I gave you this job because Geoff said you could handle anything. I have faith in him. That’s why we pushed you to take those classes online.”
“Which I have been doing. I emailed Todd the updates on my grades yesterday. I’m really trying.” Pulling at my shirt, I tried to cool myself down a bit more. “Are you hot? It’s so hot in here.”
Shaking her head, Christina pulled out a cold bottle of water from the fridge behind her desk and handed it to me. “This is what I’m talking about. I know you’re trying. The problem is you’re trying too hard. As much as I love your dedication and enthusiasm, I don’t need you going into labor at work. When I asked you to sort some files, I didn’t mean all of them.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I consumed the entire bottle of water.
“Right. Since you won’t listen to me, then you’ll have to take orders from Todd today. He’s coming in here to help with the files. Your job will be to sit in that chair and dictate to him where they should go. Older files can be sent to Angie, downstairs… so just sort by date. That way you won’t get lost digging through files to see which department they need to go to. It will be her problem. Okay?”
Nodding my head, I folded my hands over my belly. “Okay.”
“No. You need to say, ‘Yes, Christina, I understand my duties for today. I will not leave this chair unless it’s to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, or have a baby.’ Now you say it.”
Rolling my eyes, I pulled at the hem of my shirt. “Yes, Christina, I understand my duties for today. I will not leave this chair unless it’s to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, or have a baby.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard. I have a meeting this afternoon so if I don’t see you before you leave, please take it easy. That baby is going to change your world. When it gets here, I expect a phone call. I don’t care whom it’s from, I just want to know where I need to go to spoil that baby rotten. Got it?”
“Got it.” Chuckling to myself, I watched as she walked out of the room. For being a newer company, I was surprised at how well they took care of their employees. I had only been working there for a few months, but the sense of family surrounded me while I was there. When Geoff referred me to Christina, she took a chance on someone she didn’t know because she considered him to be a mentor of some sort. I didn’t know their exact connection, but she put the faith she had in him, into me. I took it seriously. This was an opportunity to change my life and I didn’t want to squander it.
Todd was moving the last box out into the hallway, when a sharp pain traveled up my spine. A soft hiss spilled from my lips, as I tried to stand. He, of course, noticed my movements and rushed over.
“What’s the matter?”
Straightening myself out, the pain subsided. “Nothing. I’m good. I just need to move around a bit.”
“You can’t have that baby here. Christina would kill me. We finished sorting the boxes. There’s one stack of files left on her desk. I’ll do it. You go home and relax. If you have that baby here, I’ll be done for.”
“Fine. I’ll go. Thanks for helping me. Tell Christina I love her, and I’ll let her know if there are any changes. See you in ten weeks.” Placing a light kiss on his cheek, I waved to Todd before heading to the elevators.
Northline was a different place altogether. When they first opened, Todd was a homeless man that would talk to Christina every morning as she passed him on the street on the way to the office. Eventually, they developed a friendship. The more she spoke with him, the more she saw what he had to offer. One day she brought him into the building and showed him an empty space. Eventually, she made him her assistant since she felt they were both on the same level.
He would tell that story anytime someone gave him a moment to breathe. Not everyone would hire someone six months pregnant, let alone, a homeless man in rags off the street, but Christina did. I think it added to her strength. The employees always rallied behind her. They were impenetrable in a boardroom. They became her shield as her business grew, and I loved working there.
The one thing I hated about Chicago, besides the wind it could throw at you at any moment’s notice, was the traffic. It was just after six by the time I got home. My dad was trying hard to fix our relationship. Every night I got home, the house was clean, and dinner was waiting for me. He was really trying, but a part of me wished he had tried sooner. I didn’t want dinner ready on demand––I wanted a father. Someone I could trust. Someone who should have protected me from the world, not tossed me out into it without a care.
But that’s neither here, nor there. The decisions I had made in life were the reason I was back, living at home. My goal was to be able to thrive on my own. If I stayed with Northline, I knew I would be able to be on my own. The only problem I would have, would be telling my dad. At least this time, I could leave on good terms.
“Arlo, is that you?”
Setting my purse down on the kitchen table, I grabbed my plate and headed into the living room. Putting my feet up was something I had been looking forward to since I had gotten in the truck. As I walked in I stared oddly at my dad who was sitting in his recliner with a giant basket on his lap. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t get mad.”
“And why not? What did you do?” Taking a bite of my chicken, I set my fork back on my plate and carefully set it next to me on the couch.
“I’m trying to knit.” My mouth opened and closed several times as I tried to figure out how to process the information I was just given. Was he seriously trying to knit, or was it a joke?
“Why?”
“Well, I was talking to your mom and she said the best gift for a baby is a handmade blanket. Then, I remembered you had one my mom had made you before she passed, and I thought it would be nice if I made one for you. It’s not working very well, though.” Shrugging his shoulders, he held up a thin stretch of knitted yarn. Long loops of string were hanging out, while others appeared to be knotted together. It was a mess.
“You talked to Lilly about me?”
“Yes. She is your mom, and she has a right to know.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, right now? She abandoned us. How do you not remember this? She left us, all of us, and yet, you still let her back in. Why? Are you that lonely?”
Setting the basket on the floor beside him, he leaned forward in his chair, resting his arms on his knees. “Don’t start with this shit again. I’m your dad, Arlo. If I want to talk to your mom I will. You’re our daughter. We care about you.”
Furious.
It’s not the best word to describe the exact mess of chaotic emotions that were bubbling under my skin, but it’s the only one I could grasp onto. My heart raced in my chest while my palms dampened with sweat. I felt like I was going to have stroke. A drip of sweat trickled down my back and then it happened. The sharp pain I had earlier in the office shot up my spine. Never in my life had I experienced that kind of pain before. I choked on my breath as I tried to push myself off the couch, while simultaneously knocking my dinner to the floor.
“Arlington.” My name fell from my dad’s lip in a hurried rush of concern.
Steadying myself by bracing one hand on the arm of the couch and the other pushing against my back, I took a deep breath. “It’s okay. I’m okay.” A tightening sensation pulled on my lower stomach causing another hiss of pain to escape me.
“That’s not okay, sweetie. Let’s get you in my car. Can you make it?”
Nodding my head, I took a few steps into the kitchen before the pain rolled back up my spine. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. “Dad––please, help me.” Reaching for my dad, a few tears fell down my cheeks. I was scared shitless. I knew how biology worked. I mean, my period decided to grace me wi
th its presence when I was in the fifth grade, well before most of my friends. I knew the process of giving birth, but nothing they had told me, did anything to explain the amount of pain I was having. The only thought I had on the way to the hospital was how women had more than one child. Why would anyone want to do this again?
In the movies, when someone is brought to the hospital, doctors and nurses rush around frantically, pushing the patient through hallways and into surgical rooms. That, however, was not the case for me. My dad parked the car in the emergency parking lot and ran inside to get me a wheelchair. He helped me into it and rushed me through the doors. That would be the fastest anything would move that night.
Once I was checked in, a nurse walked us to the labor and delivery section of the hospital. Nurses calmly set up my room and attached monitors to my stomach. No one seemed overly concerned at all. The doctor came in to check on me after about an hour and made some notes in his charts. My water still hadn’t broken, and my contractions were only about every twenty minutes, or so. I stayed like that for another three hours until my water finally broke on its own. Then everything seemed to speed up a little.
My poor dad sat in the room with me, rolling a softball one of the nurses had provided up and down my back. I was experiencing intense back labor. It was awful. The contractions became closer and so did the urge to push. They had me wait it out at first, telling me I wasn’t dilated enough, but the baby wasn’t waiting.
Twelve hours, twenty-three minutes and fourteen stitches later, I was lying in a hospital bed with my son lying on my bare chest. He was perfect. Never in my life had I felt a love like that. His soft cheeks had the tiniest of freckles right by the side of his nose, just like Daniel had. His hair was matted against his scalp, but I could see the softest of swirls in it.
The nurses had come in several times to get a name, but I still hadn’t decided on one. The only one that stuck with me was Arthur. It was Daniel’s middle name. Brushing my fingers along the tiny arm lying on me, I thought of my brother. What would he say about all of this? Would he be happy for me? It was at that moment that I remembered the last time I had talked to him. “You’re so beautiful. I always wanted to be like you. Maybe grow old and have a family. I could have had a little boy and named him Jack.” His words echoed in my mind and my heart tripped over itself. I knew exactly what I would name my son.
The nurses brought me a bunch of papers to fill out, and I scribbled my life away as well as gave them my choice for his name. Jackson Arthur Byres was born just after seven on a Thursday morning. After the nurses left, my dad came back with a fresh cup of coffee for himself and a glass of orange juice for me. Carefully taking the baby from my chest, my dad swaddled the baby in blankets and rocked him in the chair just at the end of my bed.
“I saw it still says, ‘Baby Boy Byres’ on his little bed.”
“I don’t think they will change it now, but he has a name.”
Gently brushing the baby’s cheeks, my dad looked up at me with watery eyes. “Does he now?”
“Dad, meet Jackson Arthur Byres.”
The look of love in my dad’s eyes was priceless. He knew I had chosen Arthur after Daniel, but he didn’t realize how much my brother played a part in Jack’s life already. Not only did he give me a name, but if it weren’t for him I would never have met Ben. Without Ben, there would be no Jack. Maybe this was Daniel’s way of giving something back to me.
The night Daniel died replayed in my mind. We had always taken care of one another. Whatever pain I felt, he felt, too. I wondered if he could feel the love I had for Jack. Could he feel it, too? I was filled with love and all I could think of was how amazing this gift was that Daniel sent me. It was too painful for him to stay here with me, so I took comfort in the thought that he had sent me an angel in his place.
A small kitten of a cry filled the room and I gently took my son back from my dad’s arm, placing him on my chest. I sat in my bed looking down at the sweet boy I had nursing in my arms. I was going to give him the world.
“Seriously, what the hell is taking so long?” Pacing in the empty apartment, I propped Jack on my hip.
“Why don’t you just put him down? I put the playpen up in his room. He’ll be fine in there. I even tossed some toys in it.”
Sighing, I looked over at Andrea who was getting impatient with my impatience. “Whether or not I hold Jack, is not going to make the truck get here any sooner. This is why I paid people to move me. I didn’t want to have to wait on anyone. Two days, Andrea––I have two days to get most of this unpacked and then I have to get back to work.”
Shaking her head, she held out her arms and took Jack from me. It’s not that Jack didn’t want down. He loved Andrea. She took turns with her mom watching him for me, so I could go back to work full-time. I knew he would be fine in his playpen, but I wanted to hold him. He comforted me.
“Come on, Jack. I got you a new present. Let’s go see what it is.”
Jack was just over sixteen months old, and his brown hair softly curled around his ears as he sat quietly in his playpen, playing with the new toy Andrea gave him. He squealed when he pressed on one of the buttons, causing it to light up and play a song. Great––another toy that makes noise and requires batteries. Andrea loved to torture me. One day, she would have children, and I planned to get her back for each and every time she gave him something loud and obnoxious to play with.
The apartment door buzzed, and I let my dad in as the movers followed him up the stairs. “About time. I thought you guys were never going to make it.”
“We would have been here sooner, but no one would listen to me. I kept saying Illinois was a bad way to go. Not one person listened.” Jerking his head back towards the movers behind him, my dad stepped into my empty apartment with two small boxes in his hand. Eyeing the top of the boxes, I mentally questioned him on who delayed whom, as he laid the large pizza box on the kitchen counter.
“People deliver pizza, Dad. It’s a neat little service they have been doing for a while now. You just call, give them your order, and then they bring it to you.” Yanking at the hairband on my wrist, I tied my long hair up in a bun before beginning to open the first set of boxes the movers had begun to stack up just inside the door.
“Andrea, grab a box and open it. Just put it in whatever room it will need to end up in.” Sighing, I mumbled to myself about why the movers didn’t bring the furniture in first. I couldn’t put away clothes if I didn’t have a dresser to put them in.
We were able to get most of the boxes unpacked before Jack became fussy. Luckily, my dad was still there, so he kept Jacked entertained with empty boxes and small bites of pizza. Andrea and I were able to get everything, but a few odds and ends done by the end of night. We were both drenched in sweat when my dad got up from the couch to leave.
“I think you girls got most of it done. I wish you would’ve stayed with me a bit longer.”
“I know, but we needed a space of our own. Plus, with the new offices being just a few blocks away, I couldn’t pass this place up. You know I’ve been looking for months. Besides, there’s a park just around the corner. Jack is going to love it here.”
“It’s a nice place. You’ve done good, kid.” Kissing me lightly on my cheek, I watched as my dad walked towards the elevators. Being on the sixth floor was a bit of hike for him, so taking the stairs wasn’t an option. The doors opened, and I gave him a quick wave of my hand before walking back into my new apartment.
Andrea was sprawled out on the couch with a piece of pizza lodged in her cheek. “Did he just compliment you?”
“Most people swallow their food.”
“Oh, I swallow. It’s just that I’m not used to pizza.”
“Such a slut.” Smacking her feet off the couch, I plopped down next to her. “I can’t remember the last time he gave me a compliment.”
“You should write it down. It’s probably going to be a while before the next one.”
Leaning my he
ad back against the soft cushions, I closed my eyes and reveled in the moment. I was a single mom, on my own, living in the city of Chicago, but I wasn’t struggling. Christina had given me a raise after I had Jack, and then again, a few months later. She said I had “chutzpah”. I’m not sure how one acquired such a trait, but I wasn’t going to argue with her.
“If I die on your couch tonight, I want you to know how much I love you.”
“You’re not going to die.”
“Hear me out, she-devil, don’t interrupt. I love you so much that I helped box up all your shit, moved furniture, unpacked said shit, moved said furniture again, and became a sweaty, hot mess on a Saturday night. Arls, I have given up my life for you.”
Rolling my eyes, I softly punched her arm. “Quit being so dramatic. It’s one day. Besides, what were your major plans before I asked for your help.”
“For your information, I passed up tickets to see The Night Owls tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, so you can suck it.”
“Thank you for helping me today. I know how much you love that band. You listened to them so much today they are starting to grow on me. To be honest, the singers voice… it can make my hair stand on end.” Softly brushing my arms, I thought of the songs playing softly through the apartment earlier. There was something about that voice, but I couldn’t place it. “I’m too tired to sit here anymore. I’m off to bed. Night, babes.” As I was walking into my room, I could hear Andrea mumbling about how obtuse I was to the world around me.
“If you’re going to mumble, at least do it loud enough so I can hear you.”
“Do you know how many times I have wondered what it’s like to be in your head? Is it padded in there, or is it more of you lying on a long couch, while someone in a toga feeds you grapes? Whatever it is, it’s keeping you locked away in your own little world.”