by Joy Argento
“When do you plan on coming home?”
“Miss me?” Ali teased him.
“Always, darling.”
“I miss you too. I guess I’ll be back as soon as Madison doesn’t need me anymore.” Not that she wanted Madison to be in pain, but she hoped that wouldn’t be too soon.
“Then what?”
“What do you mean?”
“What are you going to do once you get back home?”
“Go back to my life, write, sleep in my own bed, etcetera.”
“It’s the etcetera that I’m asking about. The purpose of this trip, if you’ll recall, was to find out what went wrong with your relationship with Madison Parker so you could have a successful relationship in the future. What are your thoughts on that?”
Charley always got right to the heart of the matter. Sometimes it was helpful. Other times it was a pain in the ass. This time it was the latter. Ali wasn’t ready to start another relationship. This trip hadn’t gone as planned. She did find out what went wrong with Madison. She found out she had been a jerk. She wasn’t sure where to go from here, but she was certain it wasn’t into the arms of someone else. She might just be better off never having another relationship. Maybe that’s what she had learned. She was no good at connection.
“I think celibacy and loneliness are my best bets.”
“You don’t mean that, sweetie.”
“I do. I blew every relationship I’ve ever had. I screwed up so badly with Madison that she spent twenty years hating me.”
“What happened to your determination to win her back?”
“Pressuring her to give me another chance when she made it clear that she doesn’t want that wouldn’t be right. I’ll stick around to help her out, but that’s the end of it. I hope someday she can find it in her heart to forgive me. Maybe someday we can even be friends.”
* * *
“Scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain?” Jenny asked Madison.
“Without meds it’s about an eleven. With meds it’s a seven.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yes. That bad.” Not the most fun Madison had ever had.
“How about Ali? Is she being helpful? Are you okay having her here?”
“She is an eleven on a scale of one to ten. Your other question is a little more complicated.” So many words could describe how Madison felt about having Ali there. Anger. Frustration. Gratitude. Relief. Happiness. Confusion.
“In what way?” Jenny asked.
Madison wasn’t sure she could explain it, especially considering she didn’t really understand it herself. “I’m grateful for the help. It sort of pisses me off that it’s Ali that’s helping me.”
“I don’t know any way around that. We are actually lucky she was here when this happened.”
Madison nodded her agreement. If there was anyone else, she could have asked, she surely would have. “I know.”
“I can pick up groceries for you when I get done with my shift later. What do you need?”
“I don’t think we need anything.” We. She never thought she would ever use that word and be including Ali in it again. Life sure was strange sometimes. “Ali stopped and got stuff when she went out to get us breakfast.”
“How about medicine?”
“All set there too, thanks to Ali.”
“Sounds like she is taking good care of you.”
That’s what was so frustrating. Madison was finding it harder and harder to remain mad at her. “Yep.”
“Want me to drop off donuts when I’m done for the day?”
“Can you bring a few chocolate cream ones for Ali?” It was the least she could do for everything Ali was doing for her.
“You got it.”
They were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Are you expecting anyone?” Jenny asked.
Madison shook her head. Jenny opened the door to find Ali standing there.
“Why did you knock?” Madison asked her.
“I didn’t want to just barge in,” Ali answered.
“Don’t be silly. You wouldn’t be barging in. Just let yourself in next time.” Madison felt weird even as she said the words. She wasn’t sure if it was the meds or the fact that she had just invited Ali to come in like she lived there.
“I’m going to get going,” Jenny said. “Patty asked if you would be up for a visit from her and Grayson this evening. What do you think?”
“As long as they aren’t expecting me to entertain them. I don’t think I’m up for doing a jig.” Madison smiled. “Of course, they can come.”
They said their good-byes and Jenny was on her way.
“Who’re Patty and Grayson?” Ali asked after the door closed.
“My boyfriend and his mother.”
“Oh.”
Madison found it was just as much fun to tease Ali now as it had been when they were in high school. “My boyfriend is two years old, and his mother is Patty, Jenny’s daughter.”
Was it her imagination or did Ali look relieved?
“By the way,” Madison continued. “Jenny wanted me to ask you if you could stay to help for a few more days.”
“Jenny wanted to know?”
Madison felt an unexpected blush creep up her neck. “I’m asking too. You can say no if it’s inconvenient. I know you were planning on going home. I’m sure you have a life to get back to. I don’t even know if you have to get back to a job.” Madison knew almost nothing about Ali’s life.
“Of course. I’ll stay as long as you need me. No job to get back to. I’m waiting on edits from my editor, and I can work on them from anywhere. My next book isn’t due for several months.”
“So, you did become a writer.” Was it wrong that Madison felt proud of her? “I’m proud of you.” Guess not. “What kind of books do you write?”
“Crime thrillers.”
“Why did you choose that?”
“I’ve fucked up every romance I’ve ever had in my life, so that genre seemed out of the question.”
Madison didn’t know how to respond to that, until Ali laughed, and Madison felt free to laugh as well.
“The main character in my books is a private detective. She’s also a lesbian, but that is just a part of who she is. She rarely acts on it.”
“And why is that?” Ali hesitated long enough that Madison didn’t think she was going to answer at all.
“She was hurt when she was younger and doesn’t trust enough to get into another relationship.”
“Drawing on your own life?” Even though their breakup had been Ali’s fault, Ali obviously had suffered because of it. Of course, Ali had blamed Madison for years thinking she was to blame.
“I’m embarrassed to say yes.”
“Why does that embarrass you?” Was that a blush creeping into Ali’s cheeks?
“I used my heartache—which proved to be my own fault—as the basis for the character. I think most writers put a piece of themselves into every character.”
“Even the bad guys?”
Ali smiled. “Oh yeah. It’s fun to pretend to do bad things and try to figure out ways to get away with it. There is a certain joy that comes from the bad guy—or gal—doing something evil or seeking revenge on someone they perceived did them wrong.”
Interesting. “Was the character who did them wrong based on me?”
“No comment.”
It was as if a switch in Madison’s heart had been flipped. Suddenly, she saw things from a different angle. “Ali, I’m sorry you had so much pain around me.”
Ali shook her head. “That was my fault.”
“That doesn’t make what you went through any less painful.”
“No. But it did help make me a successful author.” Ali smiled. “I managed to get through it.”
“Soun
ds like it clouded much of your life.”
Ali thought about it for minute. It had done just that. So much of Ali’s life had revolved around that hurt.
Madison interrupted her thoughts. “So, you’ve done well? With your books?”
“You could say that. I’m able to support myself with my writing. That’s not an easy thing for an author to do.”
“Ali, that’s great.”
Madison’s approval meant a lot to Ali. More than it probably should have. “Thanks.” The alarm on Ali’s phone went off, startling her. “Time for another ice pack,” she announced. She retrieved the ice pack from the freezer, set it in place on Madison’s back, and settled down across from her.
“Do you think it might be time for your main character to find love?”
Ali gave it a moment of contemplation before answering. “No. I don’t think she will. She would just mess it up.”
“Are you still talking about your character or are you talking about yourself?”
“Now that is an interesting question.”
“Isn’t it though?” Madison smiled. “That’s why I asked it. What is the answer?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. I can tell by the look on your face. You just don’t want to admit it.”
That surprised Ali. She thought she was covering well, but apparently, Madison could read her. She always could.
“Both I guess.”
“Why?”
Ali pulled her phone from her pocket and opened the screen. “Isn’t it about time for your next dose of medicine?”
“That can wait five minutes.” Madison’s voice softened. “Why do you think you would mess it up?”
Ali really didn’t want to answer the question. The truth was she was afraid her feelings for Madison would get in the way of letting anyone else in. Telling Madison that just didn’t seem right. She formulated her answer very carefully, not wanting to lie, but not willing to reveal everything either. “I’ve messed up every relationship so far. No reason not to believe that would continue.”
“I don’t think you are giving yourself enough credit.”
That response confused Ali. Was Madison paying her a compliment? She had been so pissed at her only a few days ago.
“Yep. It’s time for you next dose of medicine. I’m going to make us lunch. Soup and a sandwich sound good? I’ll put the soup in a cup so it will be easier for you.” Ali stood.
“I guess that means we’re changing the subject?”
“You catch on quick.”
“I’m not as stupid as I look.”
“There are lots of words I would use to describe you. Stupid isn’t one of them.” She started for the kitchen.
“I was just funning ya. I ain’t no dummy. I is smart. I got me a high school ed-u-ma-cation and ever thang.”
Ali stopped and turned around, laughing. “You’re smart all right. Lunch and pills coming right up.” She continued into the kitchen to make lunch. She smiled the whole time she was warming up the soup. She was really enjoying spending time with Madison. How in the world would she ever be able to leave?
Chapter Eleven
They had just finished supper when there was a knock on the door. “That must be Patty and Grayson,” Madison said. “Come on in,” she called so Ali wouldn’t have to get up.
Patty came in holding Grayson. “Are you up for some company, Aunt Madison?”
“I am always happy to see this little guy. Hi, sweetie,” she said to the toddler.
“What about me?” Patty asked.
“You can come in too.” Madison waved a hand in Ali’s direction. “Patty, this is Ali. She’s helping me out.” Madison didn’t know how much Jenny had told her. She didn’t want to get into who Ali was.
They exchanged hellos. Patty set Grayson down and he went running in his wobbly way straight to Ali. “Well, hello there, little guy.”
“Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi,” he said. He put his arms out to her and she picked him up.
“Oh my God,” Patty said. “He never goes to anyone he doesn’t know. He must like you. Kids know a good person when they see one.”
Madison was just as surprised. It often took him twenty or thirty minutes into a visit for him to warm up to anyone new. He giggled as Ali bounced him on her knee. “What can I say? He has good taste.”
“Are you sure you don’t have candy in your pocket?” Madison asked.
“Not that I know of. Kids and dogs just seem to like me.”
“Not cats?” Patty asked.
“No. Cats don’t have good taste like kids and dogs.”
“Puppy dog. Puppy dog,” Grayson squealed.
“Can he have a c-o-o-k-i-e?” Ali asked Patty, spelling out the word.
“I don’t think I have any,” Madison said.
“I bought some when I got groceries today. I figured you might have company, seeing as you’re laid up. Is it okay, Patty?”
“Sure.”
Ali set Grayson on the floor and stood. He reached up with his chubby fingers and wrapped them around Ali’s pinky. “You want to come with me, little man?”
Grayson’s shock of blond hair bounced as he nodded his head up and down.
Ali glanced at Patty. She nodded. “Anyone else want one?”
“Sure,” Patty said. “If you have enough.”
Madison shook her head and watched as Ali went into the kitchen with her great-nephew attached to her. It was a sweet sight. “She seems nice,” Patty said. “I’m so glad she was able to help you out.”
As much as she hated to admit it, Madison was glad too. She would be in a real bind if Ali hadn’t been there.
Grayson came running back into the room, balancing cookies in his chubby hands, followed by Ali. Ali sat as Grayson squeaked, “I got cookie, Mama.” He handed one to Madison and one to his mother.
“He insisted that Aunt Maddy needed a cookie,” Ali told her.
He took his final cookie and attempted to crawl back up on Ali. She lifted him up and set him on her lap. She didn’t seem to mind that her pants were being showered with cookie crumbs as he munched away. “It’s so nice of you to help Aunt Madison, Ali. I’ll bet she’s glad you were in town visiting.”
Madison was so pissed when Ali first appeared, but she did have to admit to herself that she did appreciate the help. Even if it was Ali who was helping her.
“I’m happy to do it. I’m just sorry she’s in so much pain.”
“You in pain, Aunt Maddy?” Grayson asked. Madison nodded.
“I kiss your boo-boo.” He wiggled his way off Ali’s lap and ran to Madison, coming to a stop just short of running into her. He bent slightly and kissed her on the knee. “All better?”
She brushed a hand though his hair. “All better. Thank you so much, sweetie.”
He took his place again on Ali’s lap. He seemed to be really taken with her. And why wouldn’t he be? She was gentle and kind. Kids could pick up on things like that.
Even though it was still fairly early, when Patty and Grayson left, Madison was ready for bed. The medicine didn’t seem to be making her loopy, but it was tiring her out—that and the pain, which was better, but still not great.
Ali helped her up the stairs and into the bathroom. Madison was able to stand long enough to brush her teeth and wash her face. Ali helped her with everything else, including settling down in bed. “You don’t need to sleep on the floor tonight,” Madison told Ali. “If I need you, I’ll call you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Totally.”
“Okay. I’m going to go get the stuff I picked up at the motel from my car. I’ll check on you when I come back in.”
“Ali, I’m fine. Get your things and settle in. Watch TV, read a book, make yourself a drink, whatever. I’m going to sleep. You need to r
elax for a while. You’ve been here for me for the last day and a half. Take some time for yourself.”
“It’s not a problem. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m okay. Go. Do you for a while.”
Ali nodded and started for the door. “Call me if—”
“If I need you. Got it. Go.”
Ali disappeared and Madison could hear the front door open and close. Madison replayed the day in her mind, how much help Ali had been and how good she had been with Grayson. Ali had always been so kind and caring when they were together. In her anger, Madison had forgotten about that. Any anger that remained was quickly turning to sadness. How different things might have been if Ali hadn’t jumped to conclusions so long ago. She couldn’t help but think what kind of life they could have had. Together.
Ali was doing her best to make up for that now, but Madison reasoned that Ali would be just as kind to anyone who needed her. That was the person she used to be, and it was becoming obvious that was the person she still was. Madison’s heart softened. She hadn’t treated Ali very kindly when she showed up unexpectedly, but that hadn’t stopped Ali from helping her. Madison was the one who had been in the wrong. Not only did Ali deserve to be forgiven, she also deserved an apology.
* * *
Ali quietly dragged her suitcase upstairs and into the guest room. She could tell by Madison’s breathing that she was already asleep. Being in so much pain must be exhausting. She crept back down the stairs, made herself the microwave popcorn she’d bought, and settled down on the couch with the remote. She was still deciding on what to watch when the front door opened, startling her. She turned in time to see Jenny come in.
“Hi. Is Madison in bed already?”
“Yeah. She’s out like a light.”
“I’m not surprised. I was at the shop much later than I thought I would be. Madison asked me to drop these off for you.” She held up a small box with O’s Donuts printed on the side. “Chocolate cream donuts.”
“That was so nice of her—and you. Do you want to sit down?” Ali realized how weird that must be, to have Ali invite Jenny to sit down in her own sister’s house.