by Joy Argento
My dearest Ali,
I want you to think of this as your home. I am excited to share it with you. I’ve cleared out half of the closet and the dresser in the corner for you. As promised, you have a brand-new desk and curtains in your new office. I also got you an office chair. I know that is a personal thing and needs to fit your cute little butt just right. So, I saved the receipt in case you want to exchange it. I made you lunch. It’s in the Tupperware bowl on the top shelf in the fridge. Three minutes in the microwave and it should be good to go. There is a chocolate cream donut on the counter for you in the Ziploc bag. I’ll be home (our home) around five. I can’t wait to see you.
Madison
The note brought tears to Ali’s eyes. She spent a whole lot of years living in a cocoon, not really feeling emotions. She had cried so many times since coming back to Clyde. Something in between not feeling and blubbering like an idiot would be nice.
She took the box of things she had purchased at the pet store and set up a large fishbowl with a filter, gravel, a few plastic plants, and a fake neon green cave. She filled the bowl with water, set it on the kitchen counter, and followed the directions to take out the chlorine and introduce the goldfish safely to its new home, just like the guy at the pet store had instructed her.
In the fridge went the bottle of champagne she’d brought and out came the lunch Madison made her. A few fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. Damn it. What a wimp, crying over meatloaf.
Ali finished her lunch and brought her clothes and laptop upstairs. She was touched by all the work and thought that Madison had put into her new office. Fresh flowers sat on top of a bookcase against the wall, and brand-new copies of her books sat on one of its shelves. “No more tears,” she told herself.
She sat in the office chair. Obviously expensive. It was perfect. She turned around and took in the framed pictures on the wall. Most were art prints, but one was of her and Madison as teenagers, their arms wrapped around each other, a huge smile on both of their faces. Ali was sure her smile now was just as big. Perfect. Everything was perfect.
She was just finishing up a chapter when she heard Madison come into the house. She closed her laptop and headed down to greet her. One hug and three kisses later, they sat down on the couch together.
“You went above and beyond with my office. I love it,” Ali said.
“I’m glad. Were you able to get any work done today?”
Ali gave her a quick rundown on the progress for her newest book. “My detective is getting a girlfriend in this book. It’s time.”
The smile on Madison’s face told Ali she approved. “Art imitating life?”
“Something like that.”
“What do you like best and dislike about writing?” It was so nice having Ali back and knowing she wouldn’t be leaving again in two or three days. They had two wonderful weeks to spend together this time.
“Hmm. It’s hard sometimes. I don’t like that.”
“What’s the hardest part?”
“Getting my ass in the chair to do it.”
“I can understand that. If I didn’t have an actual schedule for the donut shop, I could see myself blowing off work,” Madison said. “What do you like about it?”
“I like that it will live on after I do. My books will be out there in the world even when I’m not.” Madison gave it a moment’s thought. “That must be a good feeling. I don’t have anything to leave behind.”
Ali gave her a kiss on the top of her nose. “That’s not true. You have the love from your family and a famous donut legacy. Your love, your family, your friends, your donuts, they all mean something in this world.”
“Why are we talking about dying? I want to talk about living.”
“You started it.” Ali laughed. “By the way, thank you for lunch. The meatloaf made me cry.”
“What? Was it bad?” Madison had made it the night before, knowing it was one of Ali’s favorites.
“No. It was perfect. I’m just a blubbering baby these days. It’s like my emotions have decided to hang out on the surface.”
“Did you cry when you saw the picture of us as teenagers that I hung on your wall?” Madison had spent half of her day off going through old boxes until she found the picture she was looking for.
“No. That one made me smile.”
Madison tilted her head. “Wait. You cry over meatloaf, but not over a sentimental picture like that?”
“I know. Right? I’m all kinds of messed up.”
“It’s my fault isn’t it?”
“Damn right it is, woman.”
“What can I do to make it right?”
Ali seemed to think for a beat. “You’re going to have to kiss me. It may be the only thing that helps.”
Madison was more than happy to oblige. After a few minutes of some heavy kissing and light petting, they came up for air. “How was that? Do you feel any better?”
“A little. I think I need some more.”
“Whatever it takes to cure you.” She leaned in for another round. Her body responded as Ali’s tongue entered her mouth and she pulled back. “If we keep this up, I’m going to have my way with you right here on the couch.”
“And that’s a problem, why?”
“Because I have a special dinner planned for you. I want to see if T-bone steak makes you cry.” She stood up and pulled Ali up with her.
“You’re so funny,” Ali deadpanned.
“That’s why you like me.”
“That’s just one reason of many.”
“I need to light the grill. You can pour us some wine if you want.”
“I want.”
Madison looked at Ali. She wanted too, but it wasn’t wine she craved. She shook the thought from her brain and headed through the kitchen on her way out to the deck, with Ali on her heels. She stopped in her tracks. “What’s this?” She pointed to the fishbowl.
“That’s Henry, our new goldfish. I didn’t want you to be lonely when I’m not here.”
“Henry?”
“Yep. That’s what he said his name is. I suppose you can change it if you want. But he probably won’t come when you call him, if you do.”
“Hi, Henry.” Madison bent down and looked at him through the glass. “I love him,” she said to Ali.
“He loves you too. I can tell by the way he is opening and closing his mouth.”
Madison gave Ali a hug. “Thank you.” She finished her trek to the deck and the grill. The faster they got through with dinner, the faster they could head upstairs, and Madison could thank Ali properly for her gift.
* * *
The two weeks seemed to fly by, and it was time for Ali to leave for Syracuse again. She had less to take home than she had brought with her, leaving clothes and some personal items at Madison’s.
They stood in the driveway by Ali’s car with their arms around each other. “I don’t want to let you go,” Madison said.
“I know. I feel the same. I’ll call you tomorrow on your lunch break. And I’ll be back in two weeks.”
“Text me when you get home. I don’t care that it will be late.”
“I will.”
Ali gave her a long kiss. “I’ll miss you,” she said.
With great difficulty, she let Madison go, got into her car, and headed in the direction of Syracuse. She gave Madison one last wave. She could see Madison in her rearview mirror until she turned the corner and was out of sight. It had been a wonderful two weeks. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed that much or made love that often. They had gotten together with Madison’s family a few times, and Grayson let it be known that she was his buddy for life. It was cute the way he would run to her and climb up on her lap. It felt so good to be a part of Madison’s life again.
Her apartment seemed so empty when she walked in and turned
on the lights. “Hello,” she said. “I’m home.” She could almost hear her voice echo back to her. After she sent Madison a quick text, she got herself ready for bed and climbed under the cold sheets. Alone.
They went on like this for three months. Each time Ali left to go home it got harder and harder. And her apartment got lonelier and lonelier. Having Charley over much of the time helped, but it didn’t stop her from longing for Madison. “I was thinking of coming a few days early if that’s okay with you,” Ali said to Madison over the phone.
“Of course, it’s okay with me. That’s great. When are you coming?”
“Fifteen minutes?”
“What?” Madison asked.
Ali looked at her GPS. “I’m about fifteen minutes from O’s.”
“I’ve got a chocolate cream donut with your name on it. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I want more than a chocolate cream donut.”
“I’ve got vanilla cream too.”
“I want you. Naked. On the couch. On the floor. On the bed. Anywhere and everywhere.”
“Ditto. I can’t go into more detail because I’m at work.” Ali could almost hear the blush in Madison’s voice.
“Of course. Should I tell you what I want to do to you once I have you naked?” Ali could only guess what their conversation was doing to Madison because it was making her wet. She clenched her thighs together against the feeling.
“Um. I would, but I don’t think I can handle that right now. Did I mention that I’m at work?”
“Are you in your office?”
“No. I’m in the shop. Valerie is on break and Lea’s waiting on customers.”
Ali turned on her blinker and moved over so she could get off at exit nineteen. She didn’t really need her GPS to get her to Clyde anymore. She used it more out of habit. “Oh, so telling you that I want to lick—”
“Ali, can you save this. I really want to hear it, but not at this moment.”
Ali smiled. “Sure. How about I show you later?”
“That sounds good. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, baby.”
Just as she promised, Madison had her favorite donut ready when she arrived. Ali had to settle for a kiss on the check. O’s was full. Valerie was back from her break, and both she and Lea were busy taking orders and delivering food to tables while Madison manned the cash register. Ali offered to help, but Madison turned her down. “Relax. You had a long drive. Do you want anything to eat or drink, besides that donut?”
“Nope. I’m fine. Go do what you’ve got to do. Are you done at five today?”
“Yeah. You can head to the house if you don’t want to wait.”
Ali was more than happy to just sit there, enjoy her donut, and watch Madison work. “I’ll stay till you’re done.” Madison gave her another kiss on the cheek and went over to wait on a customer who had just sat down at the counter. It wasn’t long before she hung up her apron and was done for the day. They stopped back at Madison’s house so she could change out of her work clothes. Ali didn’t mind that she smelled like jelly donuts, but Madison didn’t seem to like it. Ali insisted on taking her out to dinner and Madison readily agreed.
“I’m so glad you came early. I missed you,” Madison said as they waited for their dinner. “Henry did too.”
Ali sipped her wine. It felt good to relax with Madison after her long drive and Madison’s long workday. “I missed you too.”
“Not Henry?” Madison aked.
“I Facetime with Henry almost every day while you’re at work, so not so much. I’m surprised he never mentioned it to you.”
“I am too. That little shit seems to be keeping secrets. How is your book coming along?”
“Good. It’s been flowing easily. I used to think the only way I could write was from heartache and hurt. Turns out I write faster from being happy.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. And to hear that you’re happy.”
“How can I be anything but happy with you as my woman?”
“Good point.”
“And Charley?”
“He’s not my woman.”
Madison laughed. “I would hope not. How is he doing? He must miss you when you’re here.”
“He does. But lately I barely see him when I’m home—I mean back in Syracuse. I’m thinking of Clyde more and more as home. Anyway, he’s fine. Got a promotion at work. He’s the manager of the makeup department now. If there’s anything that makes him happy, it’s makeup.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“He also met someone. They’ve been going out for a couple of months now.”
“Male or female?” Madison asked. “Wait. I know now there are other choices. I’m not sure how to phrase the question.”
Ali smiled. “That’s okay. Male. All male. He seems like a really good guy. Charley is head over heels.”
“Oh, I’m so glad. He deserves someone nice.”
Ali couldn’t agree more. Besides being happy for Charley, it also helped her feel less like she was abandoning him when she was in Clyde. Madison filled Ali in on the newest happenings in Clyde while they ate. Not that there were very many.
Ali paid the check and they headed back to Madison’s house. They were barely in the door when Ali pulled Madison close. She found Madison’s mouth with hers and kissed her completely and thoroughly. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.”
“What took you so long?”
“Good things come to those that can’t kiss their girlfriend like that in public.”
Madison laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how the quote goes.”
“Close enough. Would you think me rude if I suggested we go upstairs right now?”
“I’d think you were hot and sexy if you suggest that.”
“Then that’s what I suggest.”
They wasted no time making their way to the bedroom. Ali slipped her hands under Madison’s blouse and drank in the feeling of her silky-smooth skin. It was intoxicating. Madison undid the buttons on her shirt and let it fall to the floor. She took Ali’s face in her hands and kissed her deeply. Ali helped her slip out of her pants and underwear without breaking the contact of their lips.
Ali’s insides were on fire. She broke the kiss long enough for Madison to help her out of her clothes. The only thing standing in the way of their bodies becoming one, as they stood in each other’s arms, was Madison’s sports bra. Ali pulled the offending fabric and lifted it over Madison’s head and tossed it on the pile of clothes on the floor. She pushed her back onto the bed and in an instant was on top of her. Ali’s hands were in her hair, her lips on her mouth, her neck, her breasts. She hungrily sucked a nipple into her mouth and heard Madison moan. The sound sent a rush of moisture between Ali’s legs and urged her on. She bathed each breast in turn with her tongue and was rewarded with more titillating sounds from deep within Madison. She took her time working her way down Madison’s body, kissing, licking, and teasing along the way. Madison’s fingers were weaved through her hair guiding her to the spot she desired.
“You’re so wet,” Ali said, slipping a finger through Madison’s slick folds.
“That started as soon as you kissed me,” Madison groaned. Her legs trembled as Ali pushed them farther apart gaining her better access to Madison’s most sacred place, and she sucked in a loud breath as Ali’s tongue swept across her flesh. Ali reveled in the sounds and reactions she was eliciting from Madison, and her own body reacted in kind. It didn’t take long before the waves of an orgasm overtook Madison and Ali stopped her movements but increased the pressure of her tongue. She gave her a minute to come down from the ride, crawled up beside her and pulled her into her arms. “Did I mention that I missed you?”
Ali surmised that Madison was having trouble talking, because she only nodded, and snuggled deeper into Ali
’s arm. Madison’s heartbeat was so strong that Ali could feel it against her own chest. It had barely reached a normal rate when Madison raked the back of her fingernails across Ali’s breasts and followed the return path with her fingertips. Ali’s nipples hardened under her touch. Madison walked her fingers down Ali’s body and slid them through the wetness waiting for her there. Ali’s breath caught in her throat. Madison slid first one finger, then two into her and rubbed her thumb against Ali’s clit. Ali lifted her hips upward, pressing herself harder against Madison’s expertly moving hand. She felt lightheaded as her orgasm approached. She tried to hold it off and at the same time, she yearned for it. She lost the battle as an orgasm ripped through her and bright lights seemed to flash behind her tightly closed eyes.
Madison slowed the rhythm of her fingers, drawing out the orgasm, until the sensation became too great and Ali had to pull her hand away. She pulled Madison up next to her and held her tight. The throbbing between her legs matched the beating of her heart. It took a few minutes to settle back down. “I can’t keep doing this,” Madison said.
Ali was confused. “Doing what? Having sex with me?” Her heart sank. Was Madison breaking up with her? She couldn’t survive losing her again.
“No, silly. I love having sex with you. I love you.”
Ali hadn’t dare say those words, even though she’d felt it. She wanted to give Madison time to get there as well. “I love you, too. I always have.”
Madison kissed her gently on the mouth. “I can’t keep saying good-bye to you and being away from you. I want you to move back here permanently. You can live here, or if you don’t want that we can sell this house and buy another one. A house that’s ours.”
Ali pulled back to look at her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had similar thoughts. Dreamt of it. But she wasn’t about to invite herself to live with Madison. But now Madison was doing the inviting. That was a whole different story.