“Why are ye telling me that? I doona believe yer father will wish me to dine with all of ye again. Even as much as he likes me, now that I am castle staff, there is no place for me at the table.”
“I only thought ye should know so that ye willna be surprised if I doona have as much time to devote to my magic.”
Huffing, Jerry turned and began the walk back to the castle.
“Lass, I’d wager ye will spend more time in yer basement once he arrives. This fool will bore ye just as much as the last.”
I hurried to follow after him.
“Why would ye say that? Ye doona know him.”
“I doona need to know him. I know ye. Any lad yer father picks willna suit ye.”
I was inclined to agree with him.
“Jerry, if I dinna know any better, I’d say ye were jealous of me spending time with someone other than ye.”
Keeping his back toward me, he increased his speed.
“’Tis good that ye know better then. I’ll not be coming to the spell room today. Let me know if ye find anything.”
Grinning, I went in search of Mary to congratulate her.
Whether he realized it or not, Jerry was definitely jealous.
Chapter 16
“Do ye think ye’ll marry this one?”
I choked on my laughter as Mary yanked roughly at the laces on the back of my dress.
“Doona tie them so tightly, Mary. No, I know I willna marry this one. I’ve no desire for this lad to want me. Can ye pull my hair up so that it looks rather dreadful?”
Slipping her fingers beneath the laces, she pulled them loose.
“Ye are daft if ye think ye’ve any hope of dissuading him with the way ye pin yer hair. Did ye not see the way he looked at ye when he arrived?”
Shrugging, I faced her as she finished the laces.
“I suppose most would find him rather attractive, aye?”
Mary snorted and her cheeks flushed red.
“Do ye mean to say that ye doona find him handsome? Why, if not for Kip’s recent proposal, I would happily tup him. Though, I’d have to fill my ears with cotton before letting him near me. The sound of his voice makes me want to weep.”
Laughing until my sides hurt, I nodded in agreement. Mary didn’t speak like any other lady I’d ever known. I loved her for it. And she wasn’t wrong about Seumas McCabe’s voice. He spoke through his nose, making every word sound breathy and thick. It made him sound ill, even though he looked anything but.
Objectively, I could see that most would find him handsome. He wasn’t tall like the men in my family, but he was astonishingly muscular with long blond hair and eyes so blue they were almost white.
“I find him difficult to look at, Mary. I doona wish to sit near him at dinner. How then am I meant to get to know him?”
Astonished, Mary twisted her head to the side as she eyed me skeptically.
“Ye canna look at him? I can hardly keep from doing so.”
I shivered as I moved so Mary could fix my hair.
“’Tis his eyes, I think. They unsettle me. While I’ve thankfully never seen a fairy, I imagine they would look much like him, only a wee bit smaller.”
Chuckling, Mary combed through my mess of curls.
“I’ve never thought of it myself, but aye, his eyes are verra different. Does yer father like him?”
“Aye, Father’s known him for a decade. He’s at least fifteen years older than me, ye know. He’s already laird of his own territory.”
“He doesna look fifteen years older than ye. Alasdair willna like him.”
Alasdair didn’t like him. I already knew that with certainty. While this morning was the first time I’d met Seumas McCabe, he and Alasdair shared a history. After Grier and some time before Elspeth entered my brother’s life, both men had fallen for the same woman.
It surprised me that Mary didn’t know the story of what had happened between them, but I was curious as to why she assumed my brother wouldn’t like him.
“Why do ye say that?”
“Morna, if Seumas looks at ye in front of Alasdair the way he looked at ye when he arrived here, I’m afraid yer brother might try to strangle him in the middle of the meal.”
“’Twould at least provide wee Eoin some amusement during what is certain to be a miserably long evening.”
Satisfied that my hair didn’t look its best, I stood, thanked Mary, and made my way down to dinner.
Perhaps in candlelight, I wouldn’t find his eyes so startling.
* * *
Alasdair didn’t lunge across the table, but each time Seumas touched my arm or brushed my shoulder, he looked as if he wanted to. His face would redden, his teeth would clench, and I would watch as Elspeth quietly reached over to squeeze his hand to calm him.
It was a tense evening, but my father remained oblivious to all of it. Always an expert at conversation, he visited and laughed and seemed quite pleased with himself over his choice of suitor. When at last the meal came to an end, I stood to bid Seumas farewell, only to be stopped by Father’s voice at the end of the table.
“Mayhap, ye should show Seumas Elspeth’s garden?”
Before I even had a chance to glance in Aladair’s direction for help, my brother stood and nudged Elspeth to do the same.
“Aye, why doona we all take a turn outdoors? ’Tis a pleasant enough evening for it.”
Grateful that I wouldn’t be forced to walk with Seumas alone, I took his arm as he offered it to me and followed my brother and Elspeth out into the garden.
It was a rare and beautiful Scottish evening. The air was unusually warm, and it caused all the wonderful smells from Elspeth’s flowers and plants to surround us. While I did my best to stay close to Alasdair, Seumas’ strength demanded that we follow the pace he set, and I watched with dread as Elsepeth and Alasdair slowly disappeared around the corner in front of us.
Once alone, I would be forced to talk to him. I didn’t wish to hear his voice for anything, but as we walked down one of the garden’s pathways, the silence quickly became unbearable.
“’Tis a lovely night. Yer home is north, aye? Do ye ever have evenings as warm as this?”
I looked up to see him staring down at me. Mary was right. A hunger lay in his eyes that caused my stomach to clench uncomfortably.
“Aye, ’tis north and aye, at times we’ve as lovely weather as ye do. I can assure ye, ye’ll be quite comfortable there.”
His assumption made me feel suddenly defiant, and I pulled away to face him.
“Ye seem quite certain of yerself. Ye do know that Father has agreed to let me make this choice on my own, aye?”
He nodded and smiled, and I had to resist the urge to shiver. Such unearned confidence reminded me of my father. It made me like him even less.
“Aye, he told me. ’Tis not a concern. Do ye know how many lassies would sell their soul to be where ye are, lass—to have the opportunity to marry me? I doona doubt ye’ll come to see that ye willna have a better offer.”
Clearing my throat, I walked past him and back toward the castle. I would tell Father come morning that Seumas could leave.
“Goodnight, Laird McCabe. Thank ye for the walk.”
Before I could distance myself from him, his strong hand gripped my arm.
“I’ll walk ye back to the castle.”
I tried to pull away, but he held me too tightly.
“’Tis unnecessary, truly. I know my way around these grounds well.”
“I’ll sleep better, lass, knowing I saw ye safely inside.”
I didn’t believe Seumas was worried about my safety for a moment, but I allowed him to escort me toward the castle. A lifetime of living with my father made me practiced in appeasing boorish men. Often it was simply easier to allow them to believe they’d won.
Just outside the main doors, Seumas stopped, pushing me so that my back met with stone as he leaned in close.
“I’d like to kiss ye, lass. I’m certain ’twould
do much to make ye want to marry me.”
I would’ve laughed at him had his face not been so perilously close to my own. I couldn’t risk the movement for fear it would cause my mouth to brush his.
As I lifted my palms to push him away, a shadow in the distance caught my eye. Standing far away, watching us, was Jerry. Suddenly all I could think about was just how much my kissing Seumas would displease him. It made me want to kiss the man all night long.
“Lass, did ye hear me? I’d like to kiss ye. Will ye allow it?”
Seumas’ lips grazed my ear as he spoke, and I shivered as I pulled my gaze away from Jerry.
I reached my hands to the sides of Seumas’ face and pulled his mouth to mine.
Chapter 17
I took four steps inside the castle before a small but strong hand reached out from the darkness and pulled me toward the kitchen.
“Mary, what are ye doing? I’ve had enough people grabbing me this evening.”
Bending over from laughter, Mary continued to drag me down the stairs.
Still rattled from Seumas’ wandering tongue, I was too dazed to fight her. As we entered the kitchen, she reached for a small, wooden stool and quickly saw me seated.
“Are ye all right, Morna? I feared ye might suffocate beneath his lips. If not for ye pulling away from him when ye did, I intended to charge ye to break his grip on ye.”
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, my face warmed in embarrassment as I looked at her.
“Ye watched us? Was everyone in the whole castle watching?”
She smiled and hugged her waist as she laughed again.
“Ye best hope yer brother dinna see it, but aye, I did. I’m glad, too. Now, I’ll be able to sleep without dreaming of the fool. Seeing the way he kissed ye cured me of any fantasies I possessed of him.”
I couldn’t see the humor in any of it.
“So, ’tis not always so bad then?”
“Lass, that was no kiss. Are ye sure he dinna have a twig and some chalk in his mouth? It looked as if he meant to clean yer teeth.”
Relief washed over me in such a warm wave that before I could respond, I bent over and lost myself in a fit of laughter that rivaled Mary’s. As long as Seumas’ kiss wasn’t what I would have to become accustomed to over a lifetime, I imagined I would recover.
“’Twas terrible, Mary. I doona think I even kissed him back. He dinna give me the chance.”
Patting my shoulder with one hand, Mary reached up to tidy my hair with her other.
“Oh, I know, lass. It tired me to watch it. Ye best get to bed and rest. I only wanted to make certain ye were all right.”
“Thank ye, Mary.”
“I’ll walk with ye to yer room just in case Seumas dinna go to his own bedchamber right away.”
Climbing up the stairs together, we both peeked around the corners to make certain Seumas was no longer roaming around the castle. Finding the halls empty, we walked quietly to the end of the hall where my beloved bedchamber lay. I didn’t know if I’d ever been so ready to hide within its walls.
My hands were at the laces on the back of my dress even before the door shut behind Mary. I was desperate to get out of my dress and into something I could breathe in. As I pulled the bottom bow loose, a hand covered my own. As I tried to scream, another hand covered my mouth.
Warm breath traveled down the length of my neck.
“As tempted as I am to let ye keep undressing, I know ye’d never forgive me if I did. Wait to undo yer laces until I leave.”
Every limb of my body went limp as I recognized Jerry’s voice. If not for his arms steadying me from behind, I would’ve fallen. I was safe. Jerry would never hurt me.
The relief of knowing it was him inside my room comforted me for only the briefest of moments before rage took hold.
As he removed his hand from my mouth, I turned and shoved him as hard as I could.
“What are ye doing? Ye scared me to death, Jerry.”
“What am I doing? What the bloody hell do ye think ye were doing?”
It was the closest thing to yelling I’d ever heard come from Jerry’s mouth. It was only then that I saw just how angry he really was. The muscles in his jaw bulged from clenched teeth, and his nostrils flared with every breath. He seemed to be vibrating with anger.
I’d allowed Seumas to kiss me in the hope that it would upset him, but I’d never expected it to anger him. At most, I thought it would annoy him.
“Do ye mean my kiss with Seumas?” I tried not to look disgusted as I thought back on it. “I doona think ’tis any of yer concern.”
He growled as he stomped closer to me. I took a step back for every step he took forward. With Jerry more than anyone, I found distance to be important for my sanity.
“’Tis my concern when a lass as beautiful and infuriating as ye goes and wastes her verra first kiss on a bloke that wouldna know how to kiss ye properly if he spent his whole life learning to do so, just to anger me.”
Every word startled me. Jerry thought me beautiful. My kiss had angered him. How did he know it had been my first kiss?
I couldn’t let Jerry see how much power his words had over me—just how much his nearness caused me to shake. I crossed my arms and attempted to lean casually against the stone window ledge at my back.
“What makes ye believe ’twas my first kiss?”
He laughed slightly as he stepped toward me. Once again with him, I no longer had anywhere to go.
“Lass, do ye think me daft? Yer Father keeps watch on everything ye do. We have to hide ye away so ye might practice magic. When in yer life would ye have had the opportunity to sneak away to kiss men in the village? And I know already that ye rarely have visitors here. Yer suitors are the first in a verra long time. Ye’ve had no opportunity to kiss anyone. And now, the first chance ye’ve had in all yer life to do so, ye waste it on that ignorant arse.”
“I dinna waste it. ’Twas a lovely kiss.”
Jerry’s jaw clenched again, and I repressed a smile as I thought of how attractive I found him when angry. It was different than Father’s anger. Jerry kept it controlled, and he wasn’t angry for the sake of being angry. He was angry because he actually felt things deeply.
“Lying doesna suit ye, Morna. Ye hated every minute Seumas’ hands were on ye.”
Enjoying myself more than was truly proper or kind, I continued to deny his claims.
“’Tis no lie. ’Tis possible I’ll end up marrying Seumas.”
Jerry now stood inches away. His voice shook as he spoke. His eyes were locked with my lips.
“Is that so, lass? Ye think ye will marry him?”
My breathing escalated as I watched Jerry’s expression. There was a need in it that I’d never seen before. Unlike Seumas’ gaze, having Jerry want me warmed me through.
“Aye.” My own voice came out on a breath, so soft that he wouldn’t have been able to hear me if not for his nearness. “Mayhap, I will.”
His hands lifted to my face, and I gasped at the touch of his palms against my skin. Brushing against the apples of my cheeks with his thumbs, Jerry leaned in until our noses touched.
“If ’tis true lass, I’ll be damned if I let ye marry another man without ever experiencing a proper kiss.”
His lips were warm and soft, and he kissed me with a gentleness that caused every sense within me to stir. I wasn’t a passive partner in this kiss. We gave and took in equal measure. With each breath, our familiarity with one another grew.
He smiled against me, and slowly his tongue grazed my lips as I trembled beneath him. One hand at the small of my back pulled me closer. As my front pressed against him, his hands moved to my hair.
Jerry kissed me until every thought in my mind was of him. Every time he tried to pull away, I held him close. I’d never felt anything so intensely in my life.
“Lass.” The touch of his lips against my neck caused me to moan. “Lass, I must go. ’Tis
a blessing I had ye retie yer
laces. I wouldna be able to leave had ye undressed. Please doona ever let that man kiss ye again. I doona think I can bear it.”
He turned without another word, leaving me shaking and wanting in a way entirely new and unfamiliar to me.
Everything seemed different now. I was finally truly awake for the first time in my life.
Chapter 18
Jerry
* * *
I cursed myself every step of the way back toward my new home in the castle’s outer cottage. I would feel her lips against mine every day until I died, but I couldn’t allow my own selfishness to ruin the sweet lassie’s life, and it very well could if I wasn’t careful.
While I tried to cling to my desire to return home to my own time, it lessened every day. And what did that mean for me? What did it mean for her? If I stayed here, what life could I give her? Nothing like the life she deserved. Nothing like the life to which she was accustomed. If her desire for me half matched my own, there was only one thing I could do to correct what had passed between us.
I would have to break her heart and keep my distance until I could return to the time from which I came.
* * *
Morna
* * *
I didn’t sleep at all after Jerry left. I spent the night lying blissfully awake, and when morning came, I felt rested and well. All I wanted to do was see him again.
I took extra time and care readying myself for the day. When I left my room mid-morning, I nearly retreated back inside as I saw Seumas standing at the end of the hall. But he saw me before I could escape so I was forced to approach him.
“Good morning, lass. Ye look beautiful. Are ye ready to tell yer father of our plans to wed?”
He offered me his arm, but I refused it. He would have to be told eventually. Now would have to do.
“I am sorry if I misled ye, but I willna marry ye. I doona think we suit each other. I know ye traveled far, and I doona doubt that Father will allow ye to stay here as long as ye wish to prepare for your journey home, but ye willna leave here betrothed to me.”
Love Beyond Reach: Book 8 of Morna’s Legacy Series Page 9