“What did ye see, lass?”
“Elspeth will die, and then, so will I.”
Hamish’s arms seized uncomfortably at my words. He dropped me to my feet and held me out away from him.
“What?”
I repeated the words slowly, terror gripping at me even as I said them. I didn’t want to die. Not yet. There was still so much I wanted, so much I still needed to do.
“Elspeth…she was right. She dies giving birth to a beautiful baby boy. One month later, Alasdair will bury me, as well.”
The expression on Hamish’s face surprised me. He didn’t look devastated by the revelation, and I started to believe that every flattering comment, every sideways glance had been in jest. If anything, he just looked confused.
“Did ye see yerself die? What killed ye?”
Sniffling between sobs, I screamed at him. “What does it matter how I die? Does it not bother ye to know I’ll be dead in a few weeks?”
Hamish brushed the wet and matted hair from my face and bent forward to kiss my cheek. “Lass, ye dinna see yerself die, did ye?”
I shook my head. “No, I only saw my lifeless body being lowered into the ground.”
He smiled and rubbed his hands up and down my arms to warm me.
“If ye dinna see yerself die, if ye dinna see what killed ye, then ye willna die. Did no one ever tell ye that witches doona die like everyone else? Unless harmed by the magic of another, ’tis up to us when our life ends.”
I did remember Grier mentioning such a thing in regard to her aging, but I’d not remembered it at all while watching Alasdair cry over my body.
Taking a shaky breath, I relaxed just a little. “Do ye mean it?”
He nodded. “Aye, but that doesna explain the vision. I must cast deeper into yer future, and such spells are not easy. Go back to the village. I’ll find ye when I know the truth of what ye saw.”
Although relieved that I wasn’t near death, my heart was still broken as I walked back to the village.
My brother was days away from losing the love of his life.
Chapter 42
When Hamish stepped into my tent late that evening, he was trembling with exhaustion. I hurried to grab his arms to usher him to a seat.
“What happened? Ye doona look well.”
He half-heartedly smiled and motioned to the basin of water across from him.
“Such spells drain strength, most especially when there is much to see.” He paused and drank the water I fetched for him. “I have never looked into a future so strange. Ye will not like what I found.”
For half of the night, I sat and listened to his strange story, only half believing it but knowing I had no reason to doubt its truth.
“Elspeth will die, lass, there is no way around it, and there is nothing either of us can do to stop it. But yer death is a ruse to save yer brother from a violent clash with Henry’s clan.”
So Henry would keep his word and spread the news of my witchcraft, and my death is all that could prevent the bloodshed of others. I would gladly fake my death for such a cause.
“Has Henry already threatened action?”
Wearily, Hamish shook his head.
“Not yet, but by the time we arrive, yer brother will have received word of the rumors about ye. His own people willna turn, but there are clans around him that will only allow Henry’s claims to be ignored once they believe ye dead.”
I stood, no longer worried about leaving Jerry. I couldn’t help him here anyway. The spell was something only someone far more practiced in magic than I could break. Even then, Hamish’s uncle didn’t know if he would be successful. My clan was my priority, and it would be until I knew they were safe.
“We should leave in the morning so we have time to arrange everything with Alasdair.”
He nodded. “Aye, we shall. Ye do know what this means though, aye?”
Until he asked the question, I’d not stopped to think about the ramifications of faking my own death. I would never be able to see all those I loved. For them, it would seem as if I truly were dead. It would be my last time to see my home, my nephew, my brother.
“Is there not some way for them to know of the ruse? For me to return home once things have settled?”
His gaze was apologetic.
“Yer brother is the only one who may know the truth. And ye willna return home again, at least not for a verra long time. There is more that I saw that I must tell ye.”
The reality of how painful such a loss would be for me slowly sunk in. It would tear me in two to leave everyone I knew and loved. But if it kept them safe, I would gladly do it.
“What else?”
He shifted in his seat and rested his arms on his legs. “Grier tricked ye, lass.”
“O’course she did. Had I known she would spell him, I would have kept Jerry from her.”
“No, ’tis not what I mean. I’ve said nothing to ye until now because I wanted to be certain I was correct, but my spell this night confirmed it. Ye could have searched for years and never found a spell that would see Jerry home to his own time. There is no spell for such travel. The power to move through time lies with ye and ye alone.”
“No.” I was insistent in my denial. I knew it couldn’t be true. “Grier possesses such a gift, not I. ’Twas she who pulled Jerry from his time and placed him in ours.”
“Aye, she too can move others through time but only because she stole part of yer gift from ye. That is what she did to ye that day. She looked inside yer mind for yer talent and took part of it for herself.”
I remembered so little from that day, but Alasdair’s description came to mind.
“Alasdair said it looked as if power poured from me, as if she were pulling something from inside me.”
Hamish nodded. “Aye, she was and ’twas an egregious crime for her to do so. ’Tis why the gift has not presented itself to ye before now—she weakened it. With time, I can help ye restore it.”
“I thought our skills were meant to be tied to our destiny. What destiny would require me to move through time?”
Jerry was the obvious choice, but I’d learned enough from Hamish to know that magic wasn’t so self-serving. My destiny would lie in aiding others.
“Every person with magic holds two responsibilities. The first is to care and protect their kin and those they love. The second is unique to their ability. That destiny has spoken to you through whispers your entire life. Think, lass, what has always come easily to you? What brings you more joy than just about anything?”
I sat with my memories for a long moment. Over and over again, I noticed a pattern. I could see inside others’ hearts and match them with their mate with perfect ease. Countless villagers, Mary and Kip, Mae and Hew, even Alasdair and Elspeth wouldn’t have met had it not been for my insistence. While I’d not always possessed such discernment in matters of my own heart, I was skilled at bringing others together.
“Does it have to do with love?”
Smiling, Hamish answered me. “Aye. I told ye I saw verra strange things. It seems the men in yer family are destined to prefer lassies of another century, and yer gift shall bring them together.”
“And what of helping my family? Will my death be enough?”
Standing, Hamish walked to the tent’s opening.
“For a time, but in several decades another evil shall threaten yer family. We shall see that all is prepared for such a time when we arrive at yer home. I’ll explain everything to ye on the way tomorrow. For now, I am weary and need to rest.”
I walked to the edge of the tent to see Hamish off. Just as expected, Jerry stood not too far away watching outside his own tent. It was the same every night. I would wave to him, and he would turn his back to me.
I was in no mood to be ignored. Stomping over toward him, I poked him hard in the chest.
“No one is going to be able to break this spell on ye if ye are so intent on remaining miserable. Fight for yerself, Jerry. Fight to be happy.”
His jaw tight, Jerry turned away.
“I was happy with Grier, lass. Even if the spell is lifted, I shall never forgive ye for keeping me hostage. I could never love someone so damned foolish.”
Chapter 43
The next morning, Hamish and I packed our horses and prepared to ride to Conall Castle. My heart was heavy for so many reasons, and Hamish simply couldn’t stand it.
“He dinna mean it, lass. The spell is fading with time, and ’tis tearing his mind apart as it does. It canna be a pleasant thing—to feel something so strongly only to have everyone around ye telling ye that ye doona really feel the way ye do. I would resist it, as well.”
“It pained me as if he meant it.”
Hamish finished situating his belongings and came over to grab my hands.
“I know. ’Tis he that is the damned fool. Come with me.”
Holding tightly onto my right hand, Hamish led me to Jerry’s tent, pushing our way inside without a word. Jerry sat in a chair twiddling away at a piece of wood. His face showed no emotion as he looked at us.
“Stand up, lad.”
Jerry didn’t move. Hamish repeated himself. “Stand up or I’ll pull ye from that chair and knock yer teeth in.”
The corner of Jerry’s mouth twitched, and I knew he wasn’t frightened. He stood anyway.
“What do ye want? I thought the two of ye were leaving this morning. Ye should go. Give my best to everyone at Conall Castle.”
He meant the last part. I could tell by the way his features softened. He might be angry with me, but he was still capable of caring for others.
“My uncle has been too gentle with ye. He believes time and patience will be enough to break this spell. I say to hell with it.”
Releasing my hand, Hamish walked over to Jerry and grabbed the front of his linen shirt.
“Have ye not noticed how yer moods have changed, lad? When ye dinna believe ye were spelled, ye were pleasant enough. Now, ye are an arse every moment of every bloody day to everyone. Do ye know why that is?”
Jerry didn’t flinch with Hamish standing so close. Calmly, without blinking, he answered him. “Mayhap because I’m being kept as a prisoner.”
“Lad, if ye wish to see how prisoners are kept, I’ll be happy to show ye. I’d prefer if ye were kept in the dungeons anyway. ’Tis not what upsets ye. Ye are angry because ye know ye canna trust yer feelings, and yer frustrated that ye canna find yer way back to the lass standing over there never giving up on ye.”
Jerry’s eyes shifted toward me for a quick uncomfortable glance. When he said nothing, Hamish continued.
“If ye need some incentive to fight harder, lad, allow me to give it to ye. I am in love with the lass ye are meant for. While I may not be her first choice, I know I could become her second. If ye doona pull out of this, I shall marry her, and we will send ye on yer merry way back to a life of false love with Grier.”
Jerry’s face flushed red, and my heart sped up. It was more emotion than I’d seen him elicit in response to me in weeks.
“She doesna love ye, and Morna wouldna ever marry a man she dinna love.”
Releasing his grip on Jerry’s shirt, Hamish turned and walked toward me, grabbing my arms and pulling me toward him. He spoke to Jerry, but his eyes were locked with mine.
“Her mind has been filled with nothing other than worry over ye and her family. She doesna know what she feels for me. Allow me to give her reason to see that her heart might be more open to me than she knows.”
His lips were on mine before I could move. Unlike the last time Jerry watched on as another man kissed me, I feigned nothing as I surrendered to his touch.
Chapter 44
Conall Castle—Six Weeks Later
* * *
I would never be ready to say goodbye to him, but I knew it was time. The spell books were in place, the plaque was painted by Hamish’s expert hand, and what I knew of the story to come was ready to be told to my brother.
Hamish and I arrived at the castle on the day of Elspeth’s death. While I’d kept my promise to her to be back in two months, her labor had come early, and she passed shortly after the delivery.
The weeks that followed were filled with sadness. Most of my days were spent rocking sweet little Arran and holding a heartbroken Eoin while Alasdair dealt with his grief alone.
If not for Mary, Alasdair would’ve remained lost in his grief for so much longer. Exactly one month after her death, Mary went to his bedchamber and spent hours inside. I suspect none of us will ever know the words she said to him, but I know her well enough to believe she treated him with the tough love he needed to get up and carry on despite the ache in his heart.
I’d told Alasdair of my plan earlier, but it had been during the deepest depths of his grief, and I knew it wouldn’t fully hit him until I brought him down to the spell room.
“Ye canna do this, Morna. I canna raise them on my own. I canna bear to lose ye both.”
Elspeth’s plea remained a heavy weight inside my mind. She would’ve been so angry with me for leaving him, but I knew the future where they did not. I truly did have no choice.
“If Henry doesna believe me dead, he will gather support from other clans, and yer life here will be overturned. I’ll not have blood shed over me.”
“We can hide ye here, Morna. We can make them believe ye are dead. No one will ever have to see ye.”
Reaching for his hand, I led him down into my spell room.
“No. Such a secret would never keep, and I willna put ye or yer boys in danger. And ye willna be raising them alone. We both know Mary has been the ruler of this castle for as long as she’s worked within its walls. Ye will have her to lean on, and ye will do well.”
Alasdair seemed to have an endless flow of tears at the ready. As his breath caught on a sob, I paused in the stairwell and threw my arms around him.
I wouldn’t cry in front of him. It wouldn’t be fair to place my own heartbreak on him, but I’d never hurt so deeply in my life. Alasdair was my best friend and the only family I had left.
“I doona want to do this without ye, lass. I doona have the strength for it.”
I held him as if my life depended on it. If I could’ve stopped time right then, I would’ve.
“Ye have more strength than ye know. I know what lies ahead, and ye’ve been through the worst yer life has planned for ye. Ye will be happy again. I promise ye.”
He wept into my shoulder. Loud sobs of heartache came from his chest. He sank onto the steps, and I held him as he cried.
* * *
“By the time he is grown, Eoin willna remember the spells ye did in front of him. He willna believe any of this. He’ll think me mad.”
Hours later, cried out for the time being, Alasdair and I were able to discuss all of the final arrangements surrounding what would appear to be my death.
He stood, staring at my open spell books and the painted portrait of Donal MacChristy’s daughter, with wide, disbelieving eyes.
“I know, and I doona care what ye decide to tell him as long as ye force him to wed the lass. It willna be Donal’s daughter that he marries. The lass who arrives here is the only one who can save yer family.”
“Could ye not simply come back yerself and save us? By then, ye will be in no danger. All of this will be but a distant memory.”
Even if I didn’t already know the destinies of Eoin and the lass from centuries ahead, I wouldn’t have wanted to return. Leaving once was already killing me. I never wanted to do it again.
“No, I’m afraid ’tis destined to happen just this way. Can ye promise me ye will do what I ask ye?”
Alasdair nodded.
“Where will ye go, Morna? What will ye do if the spell over Jerry canna be broken?”
I loved Hamish. He was kind and good, and our shared magic helped us relate to one another in a way I would never relate to anyone else. But, my soul didn’t long for him.
“I will return with Hamish to Al
len territory where I will learn total mastery of all the magic I possess. Afterwards, we will see. Hamish wants me to marry him. I doona know if I can give up on Jerry.”
Alasdair placed his hand on my back to lead me from the spell room. He knew what he had to do, and the moment the illusion of me was buried, he would seal the room.
“If ’tis Jerry ye are meant for, doona ever give up on him. Hamish’s love for ye is pure, lass. He wishes for ye to be happy, even if ’tis not with him. Come lass, I’ve arranged for a portrait to be painted of us all. I must have some way to look at ye after ye are gone. I only wish I’d done the same with Elspeth. We will have one last evening together then I will bid ye farewell.”
Tears I promised myself I wouldna cry fell as a desperate need to be near him filled me. I flung my arms around him once more.
“If there was any other way, I would never leave ye. Ye canna begin to know how much I love ye. There has never been a lass alive with a greater brother than mine.”
Kissing the top of my hair, Alasdair whispered, “I know exactly how much ye love me for ’tis only a fraction of how much I love ye. Ye may be gone from here, but my love will never leave ye. Ye will feel it inside ye every day of yer life.”
And I did. Until Alasdair took his last breath several decades later, he was with me every single day.
Chapter 45
Allen Territory
* * *
Jerry was gone when we returned to Allen territory. Hamish’s uncle met us at their border with the news.
“He’s been gone a fortnight. He escaped in the night. All that was left in his tent was this note.”
I took the note and opened it. Inside he’d scribbled the words, “I’ve gone to fight for ye. Please doona marry him.”
Hamish directed his horse nearer mine so he could read the words over my shoulder. “He’s gone to Grier, lass. We must go to him.”
Love Beyond Reach: Book 8 of Morna’s Legacy Series Page 19