Jenny almost wondered if George wasn’t deliberately dragging her heels. First they had to get groceries, then fuel, although Lady Harriet’s tanks were almost full. Then George wanted to wait another day because the stores were out of milk until the ferry arrived the next day..
The following day they left, but only after George made yet another trip up to the town for some last minute groceries she’d forgotten.
“We should have said goodbye to Violet,” George said as they sailed past the town. “She visited me in the hospital several times. Did you see the sweater I was wearing when I came back from the hospital? She gave it to me. She couldn’t have knit it in the last few days. I suppose it was something she’d done for someone else, but it’s beautiful.”
Jenny looked up at the house where Violet and Nat lived. She would have liked to say goodbye, but somehow she couldn’t. Violet would look at her and see too much. And then she might phone Jake.
If he came back now—
She needed time before she could face him again.
They sailed Lady Harriet out around the sand bar. The winds were from the south, not inviting for a passage south to Vancouver island. They worked their way slowly south along the east coast of Moresby Island. So many of the anchorages they stopped at were places she had visited with Jake in the seaplane.
What a strange contrast travel was in this wilderness! By boat they moved so slowly from place to place. With the seaplane, she and Jake had hopped over the islands. Roads were the normal method of travel to her mind, but here there were only occasional, twisted logging roads leading inland to stands of timber.
She would feel better when she got away from these islands. They were too deeply steeped with memories of Jake.
“Not tomorrow,” protested George when Jenny suggested they cross to the mainland as soon as possible. “We’ve been rushing down this coast. I’m tired, and I’m not ready to cross the Hecate Strait yet.”
Jenny was startled. “You’re not afraid, are you, George? I didn’t think you were afraid of anything.”
“Just a bit tired. Let’s go back to the hot spring tomorrow.”
Jenny shrugged, knowing she was only fooling herself in thinking it would make a difference to get away from these islands.
Jake accused her of always running away, hiding herself. And she was doing it again, wasn’t she? She loved him, yet making love with him had her running, terrified.
No matter how many miles and days separated her from Jake, he would still be the owner of her heart. She’d spent enough days on this lonely sea to know that life held no excitement to match the times when he was near. She had hoped to find herself pregnant with his child, and that was still a possibility, but she knew now that it wasn’t enough. Her life would be empty if she couldn’t share it with Jake.
The thought terrified her, but she knew she had to go back to Vancouver, back to Jake. First she had to get control of herself, then she would go back and make herself so indispensable to him in every way that it would be Jenny – forever.
None of his other women had been the one he would choose to have working at his side every day. That gave her an edge, and she had to try to fight for him. This wasn’t anything at all like the love she had felt for Lance. When she closed her eyes, she couldn’t even see Lance’s face. Jake’s would be engraved in her mind forever.
Crossing to Hotspring Island, Jenny stood on deck, the wind made by their motion lifting her hair and causing her to button her jacket tightly.
A large sailboat passed, heading out into the strait. From the boats they had seen passing in the last two days, it seemed this was a popular place for departing on the long crossing to the mainland.
A seaplane flew past overhead, dropping down low. It wasn’t unusual for passing float planes to come down for a closer look – from curiosity, Jenny supposed.
The plane gained altitude after it passed them. Jenny looked back, watching the silver body reflect sunlight.
Was it turning? Coming back this way? It had flown east, as if towards the mainland, but now it seemed closer. With the wind of their motion in her ears, Jenny couldn’t hear any other sounds. She stared, her heart thundering loud as Lady Harriet’s engines seemed to fall silent.
The plane swept down, low and fast, then skimmed the water and settled back in its own wake in mid-channel.
If the plane was going to Hotspring Island, it had stopped a mile short of its destination.
George had cut the engine right back. The boat was slipping along slowly. “George, what have you—”
“I left a message for him,” confessed George, not meeting Jenny’s eyes.
“Oh, lord!” She felt her flaming cheeks with her hands. She wasn’t ready, not yet. “I’m going to make a terrible fool of myself.”
The plane’s engine roared. Jenny swung around to see it taxiing slowly towards them, then turning to move parallel with Lady Harriet, matching their speed.
The passenger door opened and Jake stepped out onto the pontoon.
“What do you want me to do?” George shouted across to Jake.
His eyes on Jenny, Jake called back, “Just cut the engine. We’ll come up to you!”
With Lady Harriet’s engine silent, there was only the muted sound of the idling seaplane engine. Jake, standing only feet away on the pontoon of the plane, was hanging onto a strut with one hand.
She wasn’t ready for this! It was too soon! She wanted to run into his arms, swim to him if she had to, but she was too frightened to move. She’d planned to come back on her own terms, make herself indispensable to him, but she knew with sick conviction that it wouldn’t work. He wanted her now. Lance had wanted her too, but only as a lover.
It wouldn’t last.
He was staring at her, waiting for some sign. Why had he come? Oh, God! It was too soon and she was terrified!
Desperate, frightened, she shouted, “Jake, I’m not going to do that film!” Her voice carried loud across the water to him. “I won’t do the Charlottes film – or any film!”
Oh, lord! What was she doing? What was she saying? What if he left, stepped back into the plane and never came back? She whispered, “Jake, don’t go,” but of course he couldn’t hear.
He was shouting back at her, his voice oddly hoarse, but she couldn’t hear for the pounding in her ears.
Jake reached out and caught the rope George must have thrown. Then Luke was with him on the pontoon and Jake, suddenly, was on the deck, coming closer.
She wanted to run flying into his arms. Her hands clenched, her fingernails biting into her palms. His face was hard and lined, his dark, angry eyes glaring at her.
Weakly she said, “You’re supposed to be in Keremeos.”
“Am I?” He stopped. For a scary, wonderful moment, she thought he was going to kiss her. Then his hands were deep in his pockets and he was pacing, prowling as if he were afraid to come near her.
“Jake, I— I’m afraid I can’t—” She fell silent. There was nothing she could say, except that she loved him. She was terrified, not knowing what he really wanted from her – an affair? A one night stand?
He was standing with his legs aggressively apart, but his face was pale and uncertain, his voice husky. “It doesn’t matter, Jenny.”
What didn’t matter? The film? Her?
He said slowly, emphasizing every word, his voice growing into a shout, “You don’t have to do the film. I don’t give a damn about the film!”
The deck shifted underfoot and Jenny grabbed hold of the lashed mainsail to steady herself.
Her heart was thundering with a sick mixture of hope and fear that she somehow managed to keep out of her voice. “Then why are you here? What is it you want from me— Jake, are you all right? Do you have a cold?”
He choked, “Have a— damn it, Jennifer! I—” He swung away, staring briefly at the waiting seaplane, at George standing nearby in the cockpit. Then his eyes were probing hers again. “Jennifer— Jenny, do whatever yo
u want, but—”
His voice broke off, came back in a strangled choke, “Just— please don’t leave me, Jennifer!” He lifted his arm to brush at his eyes where she could see tears glistening. “Anything else— I can take anything else, but… don’t run away from me. If you don’t want to work with me, I can accept that,” he said in a strange, cold voice, then his eyes grew hot and his voice hoarse as he confessed, “but I can’t take it if you walk away from me again! When you walked out on me, Jenny, my whole world fell apart.”
She could see it in his face, the pain and the loss, the need he’d never let her see before. Not only sexual need, but more, deeper than words could go.
“Jake,” she whispered; she had to understand, “Why did you say you were going to marry Monica?”
“Damn Monica!” His hands jerked out of his pockets, spread in a helpless gesture. “I— hell! You asked, and I had this insane, irrational thought that you’d care. I was— I was hoping to get a reaction out of you! Jenny. If I marry anybody—”
“A reaction,” she repeated. He’d gotten a reaction, he’d sent her world upside down and Jenny herself running.
“Jenny,” he pleaded, touching her with a hesitant hand. “Did you care at all?”
She opened her mouth on a denial, but the need and pain in his face was confusing her. She found herself confessing, “I couldn’t stay and watch you with her. I kept telling myself that your women didn’t matter, that they were just a meaningless series – I told myself I didn’t want to be one of them, but I—“
She started to tell him she couldn’t stand thinking about the day when he would leave her, but the tears welled up. She gulped and Jake grabbed her shoulders, hard, groaning, “Jennifer, you’re the only one who’s ever gotten under my skin. Ever since you came, I’ve wanted you. I didn’t know how badly you’d gotten to me until you tried to walk away, but I knew you’d messed me up for any other woman.” His hands traced her face, stroking the tension from her as he confessed hoarsely, “I kept trying, because you didn’t seem to want me and— damn it, Jenny! Most of the time I couldn’t even – er – perform when it came down to it! Monica!” He made an angry, frustrated noise that couldn’t have been a laugh. “You thought we were lovers, but we weren’t – how the bloody hell could I make love to a woman with your face in my mind all the time? Will you please stop staring at me and say something!”
She wasn’t sure she could talk. Her knees were shaking, her throat dry. “What do you want me to say?”
He gave an exasperated, half-angry laugh. “I’ve been flying around for the last two days, searching for you and this damned boat.”
He loved her. He hadn’t actually said so, but his face and his eyes told her. She had to tell him it was all right, but the words were so difficult to say. “What brought you back?” she asked instead.
“I was up in the mountains with Chris, but— I got scared! Damn, ever since— I spend my life terrified you’ll disappear, that I’ll mess it up and lose you! That night, together on this boat, I thought— I knew you weren’t ready for me to tell you I loved you – I was terrified that you’d wake up sorry. Jennifer, I’m not used to this – being in love, feeling so damned scared, terrified you’ll tell me to go to hell! Except sometimes – maybe I’m crazy, but sometimes I think you love me, too – if you’d only admit it. I— will you at least say you’re glad to see me?”
Her throat was filled with a large lump. Her heart was pounding hard, making her ears ring. His whole body was filled with tension, the pallor of his face a pale shadow of the Jake she knew.
“Jenny, for God’s sake don’t go silent and mysterious on me again! The night I made love to you, I kept hoping there would be a child.” He groaned out a confession, “God help me, I don’t know which I wanted most, your child – or the knowledge that a child might keep you with me. I can’t— Tell me what you’re thinking!”
“I’m glad to see you,” she whispered, “and I wanted there to be a baby, too.” Then she got her arms moving, wrapped tightly around his neck, her face buried in the soft mohair of his sweater.
“Will you please look at me?” he growled.
She could feel him trembling under her touch. She tipped her head back and met his eyes, trying to take in his need, his fears. “I’m scared,” she whispered, then opened her lips for his deep, searing kiss.
It seemed an eternity before he whispered back, “I’ve been scared ever since you walked into my studio five years ago. I kept trying to tell myself it was only sex, but I knew damned well— I went through such a string of women, trying to tell myself I couldn’t possibly be hopelessly in love with a woman who wouldn’t even let me take her to dinner!”
“I kept wishing I could dare to say yes when you asked me out,” she admitted tremulously, “but I was too much of a coward.”
He growled, “And I had no idea. We’ve lost so much time! Darling, when you went away— I knew I had to get you back somehow. I didn’t admit to myself that I loved you until I was rushing you to hospital after that damned Red Tide! Then I thought I was losing you and it damned near killed me!”
She put her hands on his chest, feeling his muscles quiver as her fingers moved. “Jake, about the film—”
He grasped her hands, slipped them around his waist and caught her close to him. He kissed her lips lightly, his voice deep and low. “Darling, do whatever you have to do. I want you working with me. You know that. But please, Jennifer, please don’t leave me. The rest doesn’t matter.” His voice trembled to a whisper. “When you go away, there’s no light left, no joy. I need you, darling. I love you so much!”
“I love you,” she whispered back. “I’ve always loved you.”
Luke called from the seaplane, “Jake?”
“What does he want?” Jenny asked, but Jake’s lips covered hers and for long seconds there was nothing but the feel of his arms around her, the spinning ecstasy of his mouth taking hers.
Slowly, when he stopped kissing her, she realized that the roaring in her ears was not only from Jake’s nearness.
“He’s going?”
“Yes. And George.”
“George? But how— how could she—”
“She’s leaving us alone, darling. She’ll meet us in a few days, on Vancouver Island.”
She stiffened, remembering all George’s trips into Queen Charlotte before they left. “When did you set this up?”
His hands traveled down the length of her back, cupped her buttocks as he drew her close in a contact that had them both gasping as he asked, “Do you mind?”
“No,” she breathed, twisting her fingers into his hair and pulling his mouth down to hers. “But tell me.”
His tongue traced the outline of her lips, his eyelids drooping with desire as he watched her reaction to his touch. “You taste wonderful,” he groaned.
“George?” she asked, her fingers caressing his neck, slipping down to fumble with his shirt buttons under the sweater.
“She called me,” he gasped. “If you touch me like that, you’ll never get the story!”
“What’s the matter?” she whispered, her fingers pushing his shirt aside, returning to explore the muscular curves of his chest. “Can’t take it?” she taunted.
“I can take it,” he groaned, finding the edge of her sweater and running his hands up in a light caress that found every sensitive spot on her back, then around, along her rib cage, to the swellings of her breasts. Her fingers stilled when he found her nipples.
When she sagged, he grabbed her close with one strong arm, supporting her against him. “Can’t take it?” he asked softly, finally getting the sweater out of his way and lowering his lips to where his fingers had been. “Jenny,” he groaned, his lips closing over her breast, “I’ve needed you so badly.”
He straightened, trembling, drawing her against him. “God, Jenny, I’m like a teenager! I can’t wait. George— George called and said you were setting sail from Queen Charlotte, that she was going to k
eep you on the islands for as long as she could before you crossed to the mainland – I—” He gripped her tightly, covering her face with kisses again as he explained gruffly, “She gave a list of anchorages you might be found in – and… I came as soon as I could. Do you know Sandspit airport has been fogged in for two days?”
She shook her head, touching his face, marveling at the way the lines were smoothed, at the love that she saw shining from his eyes.
“Do you think we made a baby, Jake?”
“You—” He swallowed. “Aren’t you— aren’t you on the pill or something?”
She shook her head, admitted, “There hasn’t been anyone I’ve wanted to— there wasn’t any reason to take the pill.”
His hands trembled as they dropped down to her shoulders, drew her close and caressed down the length of her back. “Oh, God, Jenny! I thought— with Wayne, and all those men you dated – I went through agonies, imagining you and—”
She stopped his words with her lips. “Jake, I love you,” she told him, her hands touching his face, her voice growing strong with confidence as she saw how much he wanted to hear those words again. Her hands explored his back, feeling the strong knot of muscles under her fingers.
He cupped her face with his hands and bent to brush a light kiss on her lips. Her arms tightened, drawing him closer as he pressed the long length of his body against hers, invading her softness, making her gasp, then groan before he lifted his head, looked around and said softly, “We’re alone – staying nicely in the middle of the channel.”
She laughed softly, “I should hope we’re alone. You’ve just stripped half my clothes off!”
“I’ve been waiting a long time,” he explained. “You have to make allowances. I called Luke and booked his plane – and him as pilot. I told him I’d appreciate it if he flew me on this charter himself. That I might be making a fool of myself, and I’d rather do it in front of him than some stranger. He said he had a note waiting for me, from George.”
“What did the note say?”
He didn’t answer for a long moment. He was too busy kissing and touching his love. “She told me not to come unless I was really in love with you.”
Island Hearts (Jenny's Turn and Stray Lady) Page 17