by King, Kelsey
Destiny tried contacting me a week after I landed back in Colorado, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider it. She knows how to make me feel good—even temporarily—and that's what I need. A distraction to keep me from wallowing away in my sorrows about a woman I never should've gone after in the first place. But I couldn't do that to Destiny.
She was mad, but she'd get over it. She deserved better than a rebound fuck. And knowing her, she might read more into it than intended. Going down that route was asking for more trouble in my already fucked up situation.
Rather than playing that game, I decided to catch a flight for New York City. I need to get to the bottom of this. Something in my gut tells me Harlow isn’t being honest, and I’ve never been one to let things stay unfinished. I need to talk to her.
When I make it to her office, the woman at the front desk takes my name and starts to reach for the phone to let Harlow know I’m on my way. “Actually,” I say, suddenly. “Can we let this be a surprise?”
The receptionist smiles and puts the phone down. “Sure. I think she’ll be happy to see you here. You can head on up.”
I thank her and walk to the elevator, holding my messenger bag close. Inside are the final chapters of my book. A delivery by hand isn't what Harlow meant when she asked me to send them over, but I need to see her. For my sanity.
The elevator doors open, and I’m greeted with a beautiful office. I meet eyes with Kristen and she covers her mouth, hurrying over to greet me.
“Oh my goodness, what a surprise! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” she says excitedly.
I smile. “Far too long for my liking. I came by to talk with Harlow and drop off the last of my manuscript.”
“I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you. We’ve been waiting on your manuscript for a few days now. I’ll take you to her office.”
Kristen leads me through the building until we come up to an office with Harlow’s name on the door. She knocks a few times, and when Harlow tells us to come in, Kristen opens the door and we step inside. Harlow’s at her computer desk with papers spread out across her desk. She looks beautiful, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a pencil between her teeth. When we meet eyes, her smile falters.
“Guess who came to see you,” Kristen smiles.
“Liam,” Harlow says. “It’s good to see you again.”
“I’ll leave you two to it.” Kristen pats me on the back, then excuses herself. She closes the door on the way out. For a moment, neither of us say anything to each other. All I can do is stare in awe. It’s only been about a month since we’ve talked in person, but I already miss everything about her. The way her voice rises at the end of sentences, making them sound like questions. Her soft smile when she’s grown embarrassed. Even the wrinkle in her forehead she gets when she’s confused or frustrated.
That wrinkle makes an appearance now. “What are you doing here, Liam?”
Lamely, I say, “I came to give you these.” I reach into my bag and pull out the stack of papers, handing them over. Harlow takes them and flips through each, puzzled.
“You couldn’t just send them to me like you did with the other chapters?” When I don’t say anything, Harlow sighs and places the paper down on the desk. “What is this about, Liam? I thought we talked about this.”
“We didn’t,” I say. “You told me things were over, and then gave me a bunch of bullshit about why we had to stop seeing each other. That’s not talking about anything.”
“So you decided—”
“Yes, I decided to fly to New York so that I could hand those over and talk to you about us. No more avoiding this, Harlow. We’re both adults, and we need to start talking like it.”
She wrinkles her nose. “I did talk about it.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No, you sat on my bed and gave me a bunch of excuses about why you didn’t think we’d work out. But you and I both know that’s not why you turned me away and started pulling back. There was something else that night that bothered you, and you never told me what it was. You never opened up the way you pretended you did.”
Harlow’s glare is withering, but I stand my ground. She taps the pen against the table for a moment, then says, “I need you to leave, Liam.”
“No.”
“Liam—”
“No,” I say, my voice rising a little. I regain control quickly. “I’m not leaving until you stop lying to me about why you won’t let yourself fall for me. Why you cut me off like we never had anything special.”
She looks away, her chest rising and falling faster and faster.
“Tell me, Harlow,” I demand. “All I want is for you to be honest with me. I don't give a fuck whether it hurts or makes me upset, I want you to stop lying to the both of us and give me the real reason why you did this!”
“Because,” she exclaims, standing up in her seat. “Because… Because I was scared that you’d cheat on me like you did the woman you wrote about in your book.” Her eyes water as she speaks, and for a moment I’m too distracted by that to acknowledge the kick to my gut.
When I finally start to feel the surprise, I blink. “That’s what this is about?”
“Yes! You said all your books were based off your dating life, and both Max and Grace have significant others they step out on. I wouldn’t let myself be like either of them. I wouldn’t fall for someone who wouldn’t respect me. That’s why I had to pull away. It wasn’t just that we could get in trouble. It was that you could hurt me unlike anyone else has, and I refused to put myself through that with someone I shouldn’t have even been intimate with in the first place.”
Her voice is strangled, and when she stops talking, she turns around, her shoulders shaking. Any anger I’m feeling is immediately gone, replaced with the need to comfort her. I take a step forward and put my arm around her, but Harlow shrugs it off, stepping back.
“Harlow,” I say quietly.
“I’m sorry, I just—I need a second.”
While she collects herself, I stare at the floor. This is a nightmare. She doesn't even know the half of the situation. I can't help but blame myself for not thinking about this. Of course, any woman would feel apprehensive dating someone like me. Not only out of fear she might end up in a book of mine, but fear that she couldn't trust me given the material I wrote about. How could I have been such an utter idiot to miss this?
Harlow sniffs hard and collects herself. When she turns around, her eyes are red. Rather than saying anything, she opens her drawer and pulls out an envelope. Without a word, she hands it over to me.
“What’s this?” I remove the letter from inside and quickly scan over it. Handwritten, it warns her about keeping secrets from her boss. “’I know about you and Liam. Call it off or else’? Who sent this?”
“I don’t know,” Harlow says, smiling without warmth. “I found it in my stack of mail three days ago. I haven’t heard back from them. All I know is that this person knows about us. They know we were together, and they’re threatening to tell everyone if I don’t leave you alone. This is what I was talking about, Liam. We can’t be together for reasons like these.”
“Harlow, I didn’t cheat on anyone,” I say.
She pauses, looking at me skeptically. “Don’t lie to me.”
I shake my head and fold the letter up. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but I never cheated on anyone. The woman that the book is based on? She cheated with me. For a long time, I didn’t even know he existed. And yes, I should’ve cut things off when I found out that she was with someone, and I own that mistake. But never in my life would I betray someone’s trust like that. I would never disrespect a woman that way.”
I wish I’d been more honest with her from the beginning, but the excitement of talking to her made me forget about the book I was working on. Sure, I spiced up the story by adding a partner for Max, that way he and Grace were both unfaithful, but I’d never intended for the book to be autobiographical.
“You’re not just saying that?” she asks, her voice impossibly small. She looks at me with pleading eyes. The fact that I could’ve made her doubt me this way stings worse than anything I’ve ever felt.
“On my life, Harlow. I’ve never cheated on a woman I dated. Never.”
Her face softens, and I ache to reach out and touch her. To comfort her and kiss away all the mistakes I’ve made. All the miscommunications we’ve both created. I feel like such a fucking idiot, I could yell. Instead, I unclench my fist around the letter and look it over again.
“Wait,” I say, squinting.
“What?” Harlow asks.
“Hold on…” I slip my phone out of my pocket and scroll through my images. Harlow steps beside me, watching. I find a picture of a napkin and the phone number scribbled on it.
“What’s that?”
“Before the end of the party, Destiny wrote down her new phone number and gave it to me. She wanted me to call if I ever got lonely.”
“Did you?” Harlow’s tone is accusatory, and I almost smile at her jealousy.
“No,” I say. “I didn’t have any reason to.”
“What does this picture matter anyway?”
“Look at how she wrote call on the napkin.” Destiny’s C is extra curly, stylized that same as the C on the letter Harlow received.
Harlow leans in to get a better look. Then she covers her mouth. “Look at the Ls. They both have that foot at the end, where it curls up. Did she send me this?”
I sigh and close my phone. “Somehow she got my number and tried to get in touch with me a few nights ago. She offered to fly to Colorado and spend a week or two with me. I told her no that I was busy. That I had someone else important in my life.”
Harlow looks away.
“I think she sent this to you,” I say. “She was the one that saw us in the hotel hallway. More than likely, she put two and two together.”
Harlow runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head. “This is too much, Liam. I can’t lose my job over this. I can’t.”
I grab a hold of her and stroke her back, inhaling the smell of her perfume. God, I could stay like this forever. “Harlow, I promise you, I’m going to take care of this. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”
She steps back to look at me. “Really? How are you going to do that? This psycho is jealous of what she thinks we have, and she wants to ruin my job because of it. What’s your grand plan?”
“I know what I’m doing, okay? I know how she thinks, and I know what she wants.”
Harlow’s skeptical. I can see it in her face. In the little persistent wrinkle on her forehead. “Please take care of this,” she begs.
“I will. I promise you, Harlow, I’ll fix every single thing I’ve done wrong.”
When she nods, and the tiniest smile pulls on her lips, I feel my heart soar. I'm going to fix this mess. For her.
13
Harlow
I can’t stop thinking about what Liam said three days ago. He’d never cheated on a woman. He’d added a little more scandal to his books to make it exciting, and I’d been so stupid to think it was all real. I wanted to slap myself on the forehead and hide from embarrassment.
As frustrating as it had been to see Liam walk into my office, I was grateful that he did. With everything going on with Destiny and the constant fear I live in, having someone there who knew about this threat is a relief. Am I ready to accept him and move back toward what we had? I don’t know yet.
There's still a part of me that wants him more than anything. That cried when he left my office, overcome with so many emotions that I couldn't process them all. No relationship has ever been this dramatic, and I'm exhausted from it all. At this point, I don't know what I want. I want him, and I don't. I hate him and I…
No, I can’t even finish that thought. Admitting it, saying out loud just how strong I feel, sounds like the scariest thing in the world.
And in the midst of opening up to him about my feelings and my fear, I didn’t even get the last few chapters from Liam. He told me he needed a few more rewrites, a few more days to fix everything, and I was too tired to fight with him. Instead, I had to tell Kristen that there were some issues with the ending and we’re going to work on them.
She seemed a little disappointed, but I know she’ll move past it and won’t hold it against me. Liam can charm any woman into giving him a little leeway.
On Friday, I start the morning trying not to think about everything going on with Liam and me. I haven't heard back from him yet, but two hours after he left my office earlier this week, he texted me that everything was going to be okay. He was going to make changes and fix it all. I have to believe him because the alternative—where he doesn't get a hold of Destiny and put a stop to this—is too terrifying.
I grab a few coffees for everyone at work, marching in with a big smile on my face. My coworkers graciously accept them, complimenting my hair and the simple blue dress I've picked out for today. As I toss the drink carrier, the door to Kristen's office opens, and she wordlessly beckons me forward.
“Shit,” I whisper.
Kristen doesn't look happy at all. I can't even get a read on her expression. Suddenly I'm filled with fear, each step toward her office reminiscent of a prisoner walking toward the execution room. This is it for me.
She closes the door behind me, then instructs me to take a seat. Rather than letting my emotions get the best of me and breaking down crying, I straighten up my back and sit in the chair facing her desk. I'm not going to start sniveling and begging for my job. I did this to myself, and I have to take my punishment.
“I spoke with Liam this morning,” she says, cutting into the heavy silence.
“Did you?”
“He sent over the last few chapters of the book.”
I blink in surprise. That’s news to me. “He did?”
“You haven’t read it?”
“No,” I say, leaning forward. Kristen slides a stack of papers toward me.
“Just flip to the last page of the final chapter.”
I do as she says. My eyes are quick, and I read faster than I’ve ever read before. My eyes grow wide when I reach the final paragraph. I read aloud, “he gave everything up for the woman he loved. No matter the consequences. No matter how his ex-girlfriend looked at him with disdain. No matter the whispers about their affair. He’d never felt this way about a woman. Grace was special. She was worth losing it all.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand. This isn’t how the book ends. It ends with them breaking up for the good of everyone. I have no idea what this even is.”
Kristen smiles. “I didn't either. I thought this was the end to a different book, but when I called Liam, we had a long talk, and he told me this was how the book should've ended. Though it's based off his real life and how he ended things with his ex, he felt differently now. He'd never understood what it felt like to be willing to risk it all. Not until he met you.”
I’m too stunned to say anything at all. All I can do is look down at the paper in my hands, watching as tiny drops dot the page, my tears warping the letters. Kristen hands me a Kleenex. I take a moment to wipe my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“It’s okay, I have another copy.”
“No,” I say, “I'm sorry for not telling you. You promoted me to the senior editor, and I did something like this. I should've never gone down this road. I crossed the line with a client and now…”
“Harlow, look at me.”
It takes everything I have to meet Kristen’s eyes.
“You are one of the hardest working people I've ever met. You give your all to these authors. You send editorial letters damn near the size of their manuscripts. You're thorough and insightful, and you have the unique ability to see something special in the smallest things. I hired you because of all of those things. While I do agree that you and Liam have an inappropriate relationship, from what I've seen, that hasn't hindered your
work in the slightest. Aside from this mess involving the ending of Liam's book, you've been on time with every deadline. You two work together better than I've seen anyone work in my fifteen years in this business.”
I know if Liam were here, he’d be beaming with pride. Compliments like that were his bread and butter. Hell, I couldn’t even hide the fact that my stomach fluttered at such praise.
“Still, I shouldn’t have done this. We shouldn’t have let it go on so long,” I insist.
“Look, there’s nothing I can do about the past. All I can do is ask that whatever relationship you and Liam have, it stays between you. I don’t need any dating drama messing up other books that he writes with us.”
I nod slowly, still in disbelief by her reaction. I expected fire and brimstone. I expected to be let go, sent packing with nothing but the pictures I had on my desk and my shattered pride. The last thing I ever expected was Kristen’s compassion and kindness. I’m overwhelmed again, and I can’t help but smile.
I doubted Liam could handle this, but to my surprise, he pulled it off.
“Now,” Kristen says, sitting up straight. “I need some time to think about this ending and decide if it's what the story needs. Liam's assured me he can mess around with the beginning of the sequel, so it's more cohesive and not as messy as the original outline, but we'll see how this all turns out.”
I nod and fold the papers in two. “Thank you again, Kristen. I mean it. I can’t say thank you enough.”
Her smile softens. “Don't thank me. I want you to get out there and not make me regret making you senior editor.”
I rise from my seat and walk to the door. After a moment of hesitation, I turn back to thank her once more, then close the door on my way out. As soon as I hear the click of her lock engaging, I let out a deep breath and close my eyes. My emotions can't keep up with this rollercoaster I'm on.