by Julie Kenner
"I do trust you. And I'm so sorry. For all of this."
"Yeah? Well, good. Because I need to be worrying about my dress. Not calming my fiance down about some old boyfriend who decided to come to town."
He laughed.
"What?"
"I'm just amused at your priorities."
She nailed him with a severe look. "Roman Sonn-tag! I don't have a wedding dress! That is my first priority."
He held up his hands in surrender. "Maybe you should ask Kiki to see if Vera Wang can do your dress, too."
"I already did. Your sister basically called me six kinds of stupid for not jumping on the offer when it was first made." She sighed. "And she's right. It's just that I loved my dress." She had, too. It had a fitted waist, a hand-beaded bodice, and a detachable train. She'd put it on, and she'd just known. She'd looked stunning. Like a bride in a movie. It had cost a fortune, but she'd had to have it.
And now she didn't.
She blocked its image from her mind, not wanting to think about that. She'd go to Austin tomorrow and find a replacement. That was all there was to it.
They moved through the apartment to the balcony, then stepped outside and leaned against the railing. They were facing west, and the sun was just dipping below the horizon, the deep ball of orange and the purple haze filtering through the rows of vines to cast a magical glow over the entire vineyard. Julia loved it here. In such a short time, this place had become home. Everything about it felt right and real. Or, at least, everything had until her father had started his interrogation.
She took a sip of wine and eyed Roman over the rim of the glass.
"What?"
"What's your favorite color?"
He laughed. "Are we playing Twenty Questions?"
She scowled. "I just think I should know my fiance's favorite color."
"I don't really know that I have one." His brow furrowed as he considered the question, then cleared as he pointed toward the sun. "There. That violet haze. That's my favorite."
"Yeah? Why?"
One shoulder lifted. "Because of the way it paints the world, I guess. Because it's a color that comes just before night, just before the world sleeps and renews. It's a lazy color, but it marks deep change."
"Wow."
He chuckled. "Too profound for you?"
"I didn't know you had it in you."
A self-satisfied grin crossed his face. "I'm a man of mystery," he said.
"I guess so." She spoke lightly, but her heart was bearing fast. In a lot of ways, he was a mystery. And in a lot of ways, she was a mystery to him. Or she had been until her family had rolled into town. As soon as Marv had descended in all his tacky glory, any aura of sophistication and mystery that Julia might have wrapped herself in had been stripped away. Was that good? she wondered. Considering the ridiculous caricature that her parents presented, she didn't see how it could be. Roman had known all along who her father was, of course. But he'd never met Marv up close and personal. Now that he had, did he still want her? He certainly seemed to why else be jealous?but she knew that jealousy didn't have to be about her. It could just be the alpha dogs sniffing each other out. Julia'd had a lot of boyfriends throughout her life, and she'd been the object of a jealous rage on more than one occasion.
Just because he was jealous, that didn't mean he still loved and respected her. And after seeing her father in action, could he still respect her?
Something of her thoughts must have crossed her face, because Roman took her hand and squeezed. "I love you, you know. It's been a trying few days for both of us, but nothing's changed the bottom line. I. Love. You."
"I know. It's just" What could she say? She twirled her hand. "Not exactly the in-laws you'd hoped for, huh?"
"They go with the package," he said. "That's all I need to know." He stood up, his hand held out to help her up, and in silence he led her down the spiral staircase that led to the garden below. There was still enough light to walk by, and they strolled through the garden and into the vines. Julia didn't know a thing about winemaking, but ever so slowly, Roman was teaching hertelling her about the various grapes and the types of wines and all sorts of stuff.
Her favorite part of the winery was the cellar, where stacks upon stacks of old-fashioned barrels were housed. Roman had taken her there on their second date, and they'd made out in the corner, the scent of wine and wood almost as heady as the man himself. He'd told her about how the barrels were specially made by a cooper, and how different types of woods were used for different types of wines. Her mind had gone numb from the description, but had perked up again when he'd told her that each barrel could only be used three or four times. She'd struck her first deal with her husband-to-be then, offering to buy the used barrels from him so that she could use them to plant flowers around the Inn.
All in all, the whole winemaking business was fascinating, but surprisingly scientific. Most of it went over her head. She liked the end result, though. And she liked the passion in Roman's voice when he talked about the process.
Right now, for example, he was talking about the upcoming harvest, then shifting neatly to the vines they were going to plant on the land he'd just acquired, and how they'd have to pinch the buds off for at least two years in order to get a decent grape.
"You're made for this," she said. "Why did you ever leave?"
He shrugged, then swung her hand with his, following the rhythm of their steps as they moved through the vines. "I wanted success. And the trappings of success." He smiled at her. "I'm an ambitious man, Julia. I went off into the world to seek my fortune."
"And you found it."
A shadow passed over his face, but he nodded. "Yeah," he finally said. "I did."
"So why did you give it up?" she asked as they headed back to the house. "Silicon Valley, I mean. You must have been making a fortune. Why come back?"
His smile was gentle. "I thought I'd already told you this story."
"You have." But she wanted to absorb it again. She wanted to absorb everything about him until he was as much a part of her as she was.
"I was making a fortune," he said. "But I wasn't enjoying myself as much as I'd expected. And when my father called to say he was going to have to start selling off the family land, I used family responsibilities as an excuse to come back."
"You would have come even if you loved your work, wouldn't you?"
He thought about that for a second. "I guess so. That's what you do, right? Make sacrifices for family."
"Sure," she said, automatically if not entirely truthfully.
"At any rate, it wasn't a sacrifice. I came here, and we took a good look at the situation and realized that we had some good land and some decent vines. My grandparents had their own label, so it was only a matter of planting new vines, tending the old ones, and expanding the facilities."
" 'Only a matter,' " she repeated.
"Well, that and the money I had to throw at it. Doesn't matter. In the end, it'll pay back tenfold."
"You did a good thing, going to the wire like that for your father."
"It wasn't just for him. It was for me, too. I really do love this life. Love producing something real and tangible. Something with beauty and taste and a life of its own. Because wine does have a life, you know. Even beyond the grapes."
She nodded. He'd explained that to her, as well. How the wine changed day after day, year after year. So a bottle opened on Monday tasted different than if you had opened it on Friday.
She liked that about him, the way he'd sacrificed for his family and ended up winning. He'd gotten something he loved, after all. And all he'd had to do was take a huge risk.
Was he taking a risk marrying her? With her crazy family? Did it matter that he really hadn't known what he was getting into?
She wasn't sure. But even so, she felt better. Roman might not know her, but she certainly knew him. She had known the story about why he'd come back. Marv was just plain wrong. She knew Roman. She knew his heart.
Everything else was just facts. And, really, who gave a damn about facts?
Darkness had settled over the vines, and Roman took Julia's elbow, wanting to make sure she didn't trip as they made their way back to the house. The vineyard wasn't lit at night, and the house was secluded. Right then, the only illumination came from a candle on the back porch, and it was to that one beacon of light that he aimed her.
The ground was mostly level, and he kept a light grip on her arm, ostensibly to catch her if she fell. It was a nice metaphor, he supposed, because he did want to catch her. He couldn't quite get a handle on it, but he had the feeling that Julia was falling. Something else was eating at her, and Roman wanted to know what it was. He wanted to help her. To tell her what steps to take to get past it.
But she wasn't asking and he was faced instead with a void. Something he couldn't control and couldn't fix. He didn't like the feeling.
She'd talk to him in her own time; he knew that. In the meantime, he could lead her home, then into his arms and into his bed.
And he had to hope that, when paired against whatever was troubling her, it would be enough.
Roman moved slowly inside his fiancee, each thrust of his hips matching the rise of hers. Her body clenched around his, and their skin, slick with sweat, glistened in the moonlight shimmering through the window.
She cried his name, urging him to finish, to take her with him, but he didn't want to. He wanted this moment to last. And so he moved slowly, languorously, pushing them both to the point of desperation.
Finally, unable to take it anymore, he thrust one final time, holding tight to this woman he loved as the world seemed to shatter around him. Spent, he collapsed against her, aware through the haze that still filled his brain that satisfaction had been a little one-sided.
"Come here," he said, urging her closer. His hand snaked down over her belly, his fingers finding her slick heat. Her legs parted for him, and he stroked and caressed, her little sighs and soft noises damn near making him hard all over again.
He wanted to take her over the edge, to make her feel as good as she made him feel. And then, when her body tensed and he knew that she was there, he slipped his finger inside, taking her over, and pulling himself along with her.
Her hips arched up, and she cried his name, and as passion whipped through her, he held on tight, wanting her to feel him there with her as she reached for the stars.
"Wow," she said. She went limp beside him, then rolled over, one hand draped over his chest, her fingers twining in the hair on his chest. "Wow," she repeated.
He smiled. "I'll second that."
She snuggled up closer, her mouth pressed against his neck. "Roman?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you think I'm classy?"
He sat up, wanting to see her face. Her eyes were wide, her mouth serious. Apparently, this wasn't a trick question. "You're the classiest woman I know," he said. He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. "Why?"
She shook her head. "No reason."
He was sure from her expression that there was, in fact, a reason. But he was just as certain that now wasn't the time to pursue it.
"Have you rescheduled your meeting? The one in Austin that you missed?"
Definitely not the time to pursue it . If that wasn't a blatant attempt to change the subject, he didn't know what was.
"Roman?"
"Not yet," he said. That was on his to-do list, of course. But with the wedding so close "I'm going to wait until after our honeymoon."
She propped herself up on her elbow. "I have to go into Austin tomorrow to look for a dress. Why don't we go together and you can meet with him then."
Roman considered the idea and, since he couldn't find a flaw in the plan, he nodded. "All right," he said. He lay back down, watching the way the light of the moon danced across the ceiling. His mind was jumping all over the place, but the one place it kept landing was his earlier conversation with Alex. His friend was right. Especially if he was going to have a meeting with Barrington tomorrow, he needed to come clean with Julia.
"Babe?"
"Hmm?" Her sleepy reply drifted back to him. She sounded so dazed and dreamy that he almost kept his mouth shut. But they needed to talk about this.
"There's something I need to tell you."
She stiffened a little next to him. "Is it bad? Is it about my dad?"
Surprised, he rolled over to see her face. "Your dad? No. Why?"
"Oh." Some emotion reflected on her face. Relief? He wasn't sure. And although he wanted to ask, he was afraid he'd just be stalling. He needed to get this out there. She needed to know that truth.
And so he told her, spilling it all out before he could make himself stop, trying not to look at her face in case he didn't like her reaction. He told her everything, about how he'd had to invest more than he'd planned to get the winery going again. About how his personal finances had been battered by his efforts to keep his parents' land intact and providing capital for the winery. "Alex has arranged for some venture capital financing, but I turned down most of what he brought to the table. I didn't want to be beholden to investors. Not for this."
She nodded, and her apparent understanding urged him on. He gave her the rest of the scoop, sharing with her just how pathetic his finances really were of late, and then ending by explaining why he'd decided to meet with Barrington.
"But if you make the deal with him, no one will know that you're the force behind the label."
Roman nodded. Marv might think Julia wasn't the sharpest blade around, but Roman knew better. She'd just honed in on exactly the point that was gnawing at him. "I know. But the deal is lucrative, and I'm running out of capital."
She nodded, her forehead creasing and her beautiful mouth pulling into a frown. His own stomach twisted. Getting the winery on its feet was taking months longer than his initial projections, and the discrepancy between his plans and his reality had left him feeling unsure and impotent. Needless to say, it wasn't a feeling he liked. And it wasn't an image he liked to project. Even to his fiancee.
Especially to his fiancee.
Julia saw him as a man in control. A man who got things done. He didn't want her to see him as struggling, even if she believed, as he did, that somehow he'd end up back on top.
He shook his head. He was being foolish and he knew it. That was what couples did, wasn't it? Fought those battles together. Struggled to build something. Hell, that was what his ancestors had done, his great-great et cetera grandparents working side by side to tame this wild land.
"It's not as if I can't put food on the table," he joked, taking her hand. She hadn't said anything yet, and her faraway expression was beginning to worry him. "Jules? A response now would be good."
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Sorry. I guess I was just wondering why you didn't tell me any of this before." She didn't care about the money. Hell, Roman could be flat broke, and she'd still love him. But the secrets if he'd kept this a secret, what else had he kept from her?
Beside her, Roman shifted, finally propping himself up on an elbow. "I should have, I know. But I didn't want I didn't want you"
He trailed off, searching for a word, and Julia put her hand on his arm, hushing him. "It's okay. I think I get it." A guy thing. More particular, a Roman thing. He was a man who'd spent his whole life taking care of things: his wild sister when he was little, himself when he was older, his father now. And, of course, her. Not having money meant not being in control; she knew that much from Marv. And Roman wouldn't want to reveal that. Not if he didn't have to.
But she truly didn't care about money. She just wanted to be close to him. Wanted to help him. Wanted to truly know the man she was in love with. And how could she if there was layer upon layer of secrets separating them?
"You should have told me," she finally said. "I might have been able to help. I mean, we're a team, right?"
His mouth curved in a gentle smile. "Of course we are. But what could you have d
one? My problems can only be solved by money. Do you have a secret stash you could have shared with me? Could you have talked Marv into writing a check?"
She made a face. "No on both counts. I mean, Marv set up trust funds for me and Syd, but we can't get at the money. Not for years and years." She sighed. "But that's not the point. We should talk about these things."
"You're right. I should have told you. And I'm sorry." He brushed a kiss over her cheek. "Really."
She nodded, then rolled back over, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the weight of his thoughts. She believed he was sorry. But sorry didn't necessarily mean he wouldn't do the same thing all over again. And sorry didn't mean that he trusted her and was going to turn to her to share his troubles. She didn't want to just share the good times. She wanted the whole package. She wanted to be certain she knew the whole man. More and more, she was fearing that Marv was right. Pieces were missing. The question was, were the pieces important?
If only she did have a way to help. Maybe then he'd realize how silly it was to keep things from her. But it wasn't as if she could sell her designer shoe collection (well, she could but she wasn't going to), and every other dime in her name was locked in trust and couldn't be
And then she remembered.
With a start, she sat up, then scooted over and straddled him, almost bouncing with happiness.
Roman grinned, not entirely sure what was running through Julia's head, but enjoying her enthusiasm nonetheless. "Feeling frisky?"
She nodded, the corner of her mouth twitching. "Mmm-hmm. And you will be, too, after you hear my suggestion. I just remembered something, and I have a fabulous idea. You are so going to kiss me."
"I'd do that anyway." He stroked his hands over her hips, the texture of her smooth skin under his palms sending a rush of lust coursing through him again. He simply couldn't get enough of her.
She giggled and pushed his hands away. "Stop it! I can't concentrate, and I need to think this through."
He didn't stop it. In fact, he slid his hand lower, stroking her intimately. For a moment, he thought she'd give in, but then she rolled off him and shoved a pillow between them. "Be good."