Chapter Twelve
As soon as Randi finished the last bite of her dessert, she murmured a quick excuse, pushed back her chair and fled the table. No one else seemed to notice, but Brady stared after her and wondered how long she was going to avoid him. Since the previous day, when she’d admitted she was attracted to him, not Ty, she’d been ducking in and out of buildings, turning up late for meals, then leaving early, all in an effort to stay out of his way.
Brady got up and followed her. They had to get this situation straightened out. There was no way she would be able to relax while she was worried about what she’d said—or almost said. Besides, the whole thing was his fault. If he hadn’t confronted her about Ty, she wouldn’t be feeling badly now. And if Tex hadn’t come to him and said that he’d seen Ty and Rita together, Brady wouldn’t have thought twice about her friendship with the cowboy.
As his long legs ate up the distance to the house, he grimaced. It all came back to Tex. Had the older man really thought there was something going on or had he pulled a fast one? Tex wouldn’t mind twisting a tale to suit his purpose, especially if he thought it might make Brady admit his feelings for a woman. Tex was forever on his case, reminding him Alicia wasn’t the only female on the planet.
When Brady opened the front door, he heard footsteps on the stairs. “Rita?” he called.
The footsteps slowed.
“Could you come down here, please?” he asked.
The steps sounded again, this time advancing instead of retreating. She came into view, feet first, then long, shapely legs, round hips, full breasts and finally her face. She wasn’t smiling. Tension tugged at the corners of her mouth. Her dark blue eyes were wide with trepidation and her joined hands twisted together.
He held open the front door. “Why don’t we talk out here,” he said, motioning to the porch and thinking a more public place would ease her discomfort.
She perched on the far side of the top stair. He settled next to her. They both stared at the barn. Sunset wasn’t for another hour or so, but the heat of the day had already started to ease.
“I’m sorry about what happened yesterday,” he said. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”
She cleared her throat but didn’t say anything. So she wasn’t going to make it easy.
“Tex went on about you and Ty being together,” he continued. “Thinking about that made me a little crazy. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like you, too.”
He glanced at her. Color stained her face. She gave him a darting glance, then faced front again. “Okay.”
There were several heartbeats of silence. Now he was the one clearing his throat. He was tense and felt about as awkward as a newborn foal. “I guess we’re equally uncomfortable,” he said.
“You’re not blushing,” she pointed out.
“Would that help the situation?”
“I’m not sure if it would help, but I’d feel better.”
He chuckled and she joined in the laughter.
“Friends?” he asked, glancing at her.
She nodded. “Sure. Friends. I guess if you can forgive this, you can forgive anything.”
“Oh, I haven’t forgiven you.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“Lady, you kept me up most of the night. I couldn’t get your words out of my head.”
The blush returned to her face. “I can’t explain what happened. I just sort of blurted it out. If I could take it back—”
“I wouldn’t let you,” he said, interrupting. “You’re not allowed to retract that statement. Ever.”
Her mouth tilted up at the corners. “If you feel that strongly about it.”
“I do.”
What he didn’t bother telling her was that it was more than her words that had robbed him of sleep. All night he’d imagined her in his bed, next to him, under him. He’d wanted her in ways he hadn’t wanted a woman in years. He’d wanted to touch and taste her, to bring her pleasure over and over again until she was exhausted and glowing.
But he didn’t share his fantasies, just as he hadn’t walked down the length of hall between their rooms. Because as long as she had her secrets, as long as he wasn’t sure he could trust her, he wouldn’t risk it all again. He’d done that once, and he’d learned the price involved. No one had to teach him that particular lesson twice.
Princess strolled by the porch with her herd of cats in attendance. The pregnant tabby hung back, her swollen belly barely clearing the ground.
“That one’s going to pop soon,” he muttered. “I wonder how many kittens she’ll have.”
“At least a couple dozen.”
He stared at Rita. She laughed and held up her hands. “Sorry. Just kidding. I’m sure no more than five. If it makes you feel any better, I found homes for the two calicos while I was in town yesterday. Felicia, the lady who owns the hair salon, is going to take them.”
“Great. We get rid of two and add five. I want to call the vet and find out how soon I can get the tabby and that new mother cat Princess found fixed. I don’t want any more litters. Between them, we’re going to add another ten cats at least.”
“I know.”
He grimaced. “You don’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation. It’s getting out of hand. We can’t have this many cats around.”
“Don’t worry, Brady. Princess takes care of them, and I’ll find more homes. Have a little faith. Or take a vacation. You need to get away.”
“I was thinking of doing just that.” At her look of surprise, he added, “There’s a horse and livestock show next weekend. It’s in New Mexico, and not all that far from here. I’m thinking of buying a couple of bulls.”
“Good idea. You’ll come back refreshed and calm.”
“I’m perfectly calm.”
“Not about the cats.”
He shrugged. “I’ll admit the cats make me crazy.” He looked at her, at the dark curls tumbling down her back, at her profile, with her perfect nose and tempting mouth. “You want to come with me?” he asked without thinking.
He didn’t want to call the words back—at least, not if she accepted. Rita turned to look at him. Questions filled her eyes, questions he couldn’t answer. He didn’t know why he’d asked her. It had been an impulse. Maybe time alone together and away from the ranch would allow them to— He didn’t know what. He just wanted her company.
“Where is it going to be?” she asked.
He named the town.
She thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. “I’d like that.”
He read the hesitation for what it was. “Are you afraid of your past catching up with you?”
He hadn’t realized how much he wanted her to deny it until she agreed. “That’s a risk,” she said.
Secrets. Always secrets. “Why are you on the run?”
She faced front again and didn’t answer. He told himself to let it go, it wasn’t any of his business. Yet it was. If he was getting involved with her, if he was starting to feel things for her, he had a right to know.
He swore silently. What happened to the lesson he was supposed to have learned the first time he’d been burned? Hadn’t Alicia taught him anything?
Apparently not. Here he was, thinking about a woman with a mysterious past. What the hell was wrong with him?
“You don’t trust me,” he said flatly.
She shivered. “It’s not that.”
“Then, what is it?”
“I can’t explain.”
“Why not? What is so horrible?”
She pulled her legs to her chest and dropped her head to her knees. “Nothing. I mean, I have done a few things, but it’s not too awful. I’m not a murderer or anything. I just can’t tell you.”
“You don’t want to tell me. There’s a difference.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Dammit, Rita!”
She raised her head and stared at him. “Why does it matter?”
Instead o
f answering with words, he slid toward her. One part of his brain reminded him this was not a good way to prove he’d learned his lesson. His rational side pointed out it was still daylight and they were in plain view of anyone who happened to be looking. But the rest of him, the part of him that wanted her and needed her, didn’t care. He placed his hands on her arms, turning her to him.
She could have protested, but didn’t. She could have run away, or stopped him with a word. Instead, as he lowered his head, bringing his mouth to hers, she parted her lips in anticipation of his kiss.
He lost himself in her heat. The willing warmth of her mouth drew him in, and he settled against her as if coming home. Her arms wrapped around his neck while her fingers buried themselves in his hair. She shifted, straightening her legs so they could lean closer to each other. He cupped her face, holding her still as he traced the sweetness of her lips before dipping inside.
As their tongues touched, passion exploded. His body tensed in arousal. A soft cry escaped her throat, and she shuddered. He rubbed his hand against her back, moving up and down, feeling her muscles contract as she strained toward him.
He wanted to lie her on the porch and make love to her. His body cried out for that release. He could stand up and pull her into the house where they would have privacy. Would she accompany him? Would she share his bed? He thought about asking. Instead, he eased back slightly, pressing soft, tender kisses on her cheeks, her jaw, then down her neck.
“You do know it’s still daylight,” he murmured against her skin.
“Uh-huh.” She arched her head when he nibbled on her earlobe.
“Anyone could be watching.”
“Let them get their own girl.”
He chuckled. “I like that attitude.”
Randi gazed at the man who held her so tenderly, the man whose kisses made her forget herself both physically and emotionally.
“I want to make love to you,” he said.
His brown eyes flared with a passion that thrilled her. No one had ever wanted her the way Brady did. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to the base of his throat. He sucked in a breath. Her lips clung to him as she tasted the forbidden essence that was his alone.
Every part of her vibrated with need. Between her legs, her feminine place dampened in readiness. She wanted to be with him, under him, accepting him into her, joining with him in an age-old dance of love. While the fantasy was nice, reality made it impossible.
He reached behind her head and untied the ribbon holding her hair in place. As the curls sprang free, he captured a few in his hands. “Why do I sense you just refused my invitation?” he asked.
She dropped her gaze to her lap. “Because I did.”
“Why?”
A simple question. Gathering strength from deep inside, Randi forced herself to meet his gaze. “Because you’re a decent guy and you deserve better. I like you, Brady Jones. I respect you and admire you. If circumstances were different…” She sighed. “But they’re not. I can’t make you any promises while I’m living a lie. We both know making love can be the biggest promise of all.”
His face tightened with frustration. “What lie?” he asked, his tone sharp with annoyance. “What are you talking about? What’s so important that it forced you to run away?”
She took his hand in hers. “All my life my father or my brother have rescued me from harm. If there was any kind of problem, I ran home and Daddy fixed it. When Daddy was gone, Noah took over. That’s not how it’s going to be anymore. I refuse to be that little girl. This time I need to fix my problems myself.”
When he would have spoken, she pressed her fingers to his mouth. “No, don’t say anything. The truth is, if I let you make this all better, I haven’t learned a thing. Worse, I won’t be anyone you’d be interested in. Face it, Brady, you’re a strong man with a sense of right and wrong. I guess the word I’m looking for is moral. Do you want someone who isn’t like that? Do you really want to get involved with someone who isn’t your equal?”
He stared at her. In a way she felt as exposed and bare as if they had just made love. Emotionally, she’d never been this naked before. She’d confessed her darkest secrets, laying out her vulnerabilities for him to accept or reject.
“And then what?” he asked. “Say I leave you alone to sort out whatever this is, when you’ve fixed it, will you stay?”
Would she stay? She shuddered, knowing that he’d asked the one question she would have sold her soul not to hear. The one question she couldn’t answer.
“I don’t know.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m not saying that to be cruel, but because it’s true. I don’t know anything.” She clutched his hand and forced herself to look at him.
“You are the best man I’ve ever met,” she said earnestly, trying to convince him with her words and her heart. “You are so very special, and I believe I could care about you in ways that terrify me. But there are things you don’t know, things I can’t tell you right now. And when I can tell you, you may not look at me like you are now, with affection and desire. You may despise me and want me to go. But if you’ve already asked me to stay and I’ve said yes, you’ll be too much of a gentleman to retract your invitation. I would never put you in that position, so I won’t agree to stay. Later, when you know everything, ask me again.”
“Tell me. What is this deep dark secret you’re keeping between us?”
“I can’t,” Randi said. “Not now.”
Brady surged to his feet. “I hope you enjoy playing with other people’s lives,” he said, his voice thick with anger. “It’s a nice speech. You get to sound noble, all the while you’re refusing to risk any part of yourself by trusting me.”
She’d meant every word she’d said. His rejection of her honesty fueled her own temper. “Don’t talk to me about being noble. You’re the expert. You play at being perfect and showing the rest of us up, when in reality, you’re terrified to get involved. You surround yourself with strays because you always get to be the rescuer and the one in charge. You never have to be vulnerable to anyone. You never have to reveal yourself. You show up and you’re the good guy, a real knight in shining armor. The trick is, you hold yourself back. While you’re spending all that time rescuing the world, you don’t have much left to get really involved. You don’t risk your heart. If I leave, I reaffirm your view of the world. If I stay, you’ll always be the guy who rescued me. Either way, you come out looking great. I don’t believe you let yourself care enough to allow any of this to hurt you, so no matter what, you’re going to win.”
Brady glared at her. “If that’s what you think, you don’t know me at all.” He turned on his heel and stalked off.
She stared after him, watching him disappear into the barn. He was wrong, she did know him. She understood him, his good points and his flaws, and neither mattered. She’d still fallen in love with him.
* * *
Two days later, Brady still couldn’t forget what Rita had said. No matter how many times he told himself they weren’t true, her words continued to haunt him.
So what if he surrounded himself with strays? That was hardly a crime. In some circles, giving people a second chance was a good thing. He was only continuing a tradition his father had taught him.
But that wasn’t her complaint, a voice in his head whispered. It was that he used the act of rescuing to hold himself emotionally distant.
That wasn’t true, he thought as he leaned back in his chair. He stared at the walls of his office. He wasn’t emotionally distant from anyone. He had friends. Tex, some of the cowboys, a few men in town, kids he’d grown up with.
“I’m not a snob,” he said aloud. He wasn’t holding himself out as a moral example to the rest of the world. She’d made him sound like some East Coast prig.
But no matter how many times he tried to discredit her words, a voice inside whispered she had spoken the truth. At least some of it had been dead-on. He did occasionally demand a certain emotional distance in h
is relationships. He wasn’t always as open with people as he could be. Even her accusation that he feared getting too involved was true. He swore. Where did that leave him? Was he a jerk? Too horribly flawed to inspire affection in others?
She’d held up a mirror, and he’d been forced to take a good look at himself. Was it her fault he didn’t like what he saw?
Brady slammed his hands on his desk. He was willing to admit she might have had a point. About a few things. Maybe he could be more emotionally accessible. He remembered several times when he’d acted as mentor to young cowboys he’d hired. At least he’d thought of them as young when he hadn’t been more than a year or two older. By becoming their mentor, he made sure they weren’t ever close friends.
“Dammit, Rita,” he muttered, and knew his annoyance was with himself. What was he supposed to say to her? Why would he assume she even wanted to talk to him?
Then he remembered the rest of her words—when she’d said he was the best man she’d ever met. That she could care about him. He’d ignored all that because she’d pricked his pride. Because she hadn’t said she would stay.
What right did he have to dictate her life? Until he knew her secrets, he couldn’t make judgments about her decisions. He wanted it to be different. He wanted her to be free to be with him so they could explore what each of them felt.
He rose to his feet and headed for the front of the barn. Rita was where he’d expected her to be, grooming the horses. Despite their words and his ignoring her for two days, she continued to do a great job.
She looked up when she saw him approaching. His chest tightened as he took in the dark shadows under her eyes and the faint slump in her shoulders. She watched him, but didn’t speak.
He paused in front of her. “I’m sorry,” he said.
She shook her head. “No, I am. I crossed the line. No matter what else, I still work for you. I shouldn’t have—”
“Yeah, you should have. A couple of cuffs to my ears wouldn’t have been wrong, either.”
She smiled at that. “I didn’t know you liked the rough stuff.”
The Rancher And The RunawayBride: Part 2 Page 9