And now Claire was about to go submit to her. Again. She gritted her teeth and tried to focus on staying close to her mother as they made their way to the clearing.
They ran through the forest together, and the smell of the growing things, the scents of earth and night filled Claire’s nose. The moon hung full overhead, its belly swelling with light. A tiny shock of excitement shivered under Claire’s skin, pushing aside her bad feelings a bit. This time she would be able to completely change. She would be able to join the hunt. And she would be a full-on member of the pack, able to say what she wanted. The anticipation of it made her toes tingle.
Claire and her mother had loped all the way into the clearing before Claire realized that something was off. There’s no fire. She looked at her mother, the question poised on her lips.
“Tonight, we arrive first.” Her mother began dragging dead wood out of the forest and piling it in the center of the clearing with remarkable speed, even for a werewolf. She dropped a third limb on a pile she’d made near the kindling before she looked at Claire and put a hand on her hip. “You could help, you know,” she said.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” Claire gathered an armful of smaller branches and placed them on top of the kindling, followed by the big logs her mother had piled up. Marie brushed a leaf out of her hair and surveyed the arrangement.
“Oui. C’est parfait. Stand back, Claire, and I will light it.”
Claire stepped back to the edge of the clearing and watched as her mother knelt down in front of her, her back to Claire. She was still so thin that her shoulder blades poked out of the back of her shirt, like wings.
Her mother muttered a chant that was too quiet even for Claire to hear. As the first tendril of smoke rose from the wood, Claire’s mother raised her hands over the logs and circled them three times. On the final circle, the first flame leapt out of the center of the fire, licking at the smaller branches nearby.
Claire rubbed the back of her neck. Damn. I can’t wait until I can do that.
Her mother stood and brushed the dirt from her knees. She looked at the expression on Claire’s face. “Perhaps, after things are finished here tonight, I could teach you how to create fire?”
Claire nodded, unable to stop the smile that crept across her face. “I’d like that. A lot.”
“Good. Well, then, we are ready for the others.”
Chapter Twenty-two
JUDITH ARRIVED, FOLLOWED shortly by Katherine. Judith held Claire’s gaze as she greeted her, and Katherine put a warm hand on her shoulder. Claire couldn’t tell whether it was because she’d saved her mom, or just because she would be able to fully transform. Not that it really mattered—she didn’t care what they thought.
By the time they heard Beatrice and Victoria coming through the woods, the fire lit the entire clearing with its warm glow. Claire noticed that Victoria’s pants looked tight—her belly was already starting to grow. Claire didn’t look at Beatrice’s face. She couldn’t bear to, not quite yet.
When the remaining pack members had greeted each other and were circled around the fire, Claire glanced into the woods. She could feel Zahlia missing. That the pack had not only lost a member but had been so completely betrayed—it made Claire sick. The faces of the others were serious in the light of the fire, and Claire knew she wasn’t the only one thinking this way.
After a moment, Beatrice spoke. “When one of our own dies an honorable death, there are many ways we mourn her. Zahlia did not die in any way befitting a werewolf. In these circumstances, we will rejoin ourselves together, not speaking her name nor remembering her in any way for the rest of our time, so that when we are gone, so too will her imprint upon this world be erased.”
The formality of her words and the flatness of her tone chilled Claire. She looked up, surprised by how different Beatrice sounded now, how confident and strong.
She’s so scared of the human world. She’s totally confident when we’re in the woods, when it’s werewolf stuff. But anything involving humans freaks her out.
It made sense. When Claire thought back, Beatrice had always seemed in control here, in front of the fire. But whenever something from outside the woods came up, she was no better than a cornered rabbit. Claire licked her lips. It was so obvious, now. But how could Beatrice run the pack like this? The human world was all around them, rubbing up against them. Frustration crawled through her.
Beatrice stepped closer to the fire and held out her hands. When they were all standing with their fingers clasped tight together, Beatrice bowed her head for a moment.
“This has been a trying time for us—our bonds have been battered, our ties frayed. We must work to rebuild. In the name of the Goddess I form this pack anew. Of one blood, one mind, and one being are we, bonded eternally. Forsaking all other allegiances, we pledge ourselves.”
“By the Goddess,” said the others, in unison.
Claire whispered it a half-beat behind. She really wasn’t sure she wanted to say it at all.
Claire glanced over and saw her mother’s face. A wrinkle had appeared between her eyebrows and she looked thoughtful, serious. Not as certain and celebratory as Victoria and Beatrice, who were both smiling. Not as relieved as Katherine, or Judith. Something about her mother’s expression made Claire feel infinitely better. Her mother knew that things wouldn’t be erased just by saying some stupid vow.
“Now,” Beatrice began. “It has been the greatest honor of my life to lead this pack. But things have changed. Perhaps I have been a wolf for too many years now, but the minds of humans no longer make sense to me. I made an error when I failed to take into account the more”—she paused, looking hard at Claire—“unique aspects of Marie’s abduction. The world is not what it once was, and I am not too proud nor too foolish to admit that neither am I. I have called down more moons than I care to count, and the time has come for me to stop. Marie, please step forward.”
Claire’s mother raised her head high. Slowly, she walked up to Beatrice and knelt in front of the older woman, her eyes shining. Claire’s heart pulse thrummed in her ears, the emotions crackling through her like lightning.
Beatrice knew she’d been wrong.
And she was trying to fix it.
It seemed pretty obvious to Claire that her mother—the only member of the pack that she really trusted—was about to become their Alpha. And that would make Claire feel a whole hell of a lot better about the pledge she’d just made.
Beatrice reached down and clasped one of Marie’s smooth palms between her roughened hands and pulled her to her feet.
For a long moment, the two women stood staring into one another’s eyes. It was Beatrice who looked away first, turning her gaze to the ground. Slowly, she lowered herself until she was on her knees at Claire’s mother’s feet. She twisted her head to one side, showing her wrinkled neck, submitting herself to Marie. Claire’s mother put one hand on top of Beatrice’s head and they stayed that way. When Claire’s mother removed her hand, Beatrice ducked her head low and took a silver chain from around her neck. Dangling from it was a crescent moon. Claire’s mother took the necklace from Beatrice and clasped it around her own neck. Then she bent down to pull the old woman to her feet.
Victoria, Katherine, and Judith got down on their knees, and Claire followed their lead instinctively. Through her lowered eyelashes, Claire peeked up at her mother. The surprise had left her face. Power and pride in equal portions flowed out of her. It made her look so wild and beautiful that Claire’s breath caught.
“You may stand.” Her mother’s strong, clear voice rang out across the clearing.
Everyone got to their feet, the others looking meek and a little bit nervous. A huge grin spread across Claire’s face.
“Leading a pack is an honor and a burden, both. I look forward to the challenge, and I will rely heavily on Beatrice for guidance in these first few months. She is La Sage Femme now, our voice of experience, the keeper of our history. I expect reverence for her position from all t
he members of our pack.”
The others lowered their heads, acknowledging Marie’s first instructions as the Alpha. When they looked up, Claire’s mother’s smile had gentled.
“Now, before we transform in preparation for a celebratory hunt, there is one more thing I would like to do.” She turned and gestured to the trees behind her.
Something rustled in the undergrowth and Matthew emerged from between two thin saplings. Claire gasped and then felt the heat rush into her cheeks when everyone turned to look at her. How could I not have smelled that he was there? She gave a tentative sniff and realized that she hadn’t given her mother enough credit. Claire hadn’t caught his scent because Matthew had been waiting upwind. Beatrice and Victoria were grinning at her like two kids at a surprise party. Judith and Katherine looked concerned.
Claire’s mom put a hand on Matthew’s broad shoulder, drawing him forward until he was part of the circle. “I’d like to introduce you to Matthew Engle, our new gardien. He has accepted this role and the difficulties that accompany it. He is under our protection now and you need not hide yourselves from him, though I would instruct everyone to use as much caution as possible.”
“Um, thanks, Marie.” Matthew shifted his weight. He seemed uncomfortable.
“Are you sure it’s safe, having Dr. Engle’s son as a secret-keeper?” The hesitation was thick in Judith’s voice.
“We do not get to pick all of our roles in this life.” Marie’s words were sharp as a thorn. “You should certainly know that. What matters is the loyalty he has expressed for our pack. You will show at least as much regard for our laws as he already has. Is that clear?”
Judith nodded, dropping her gaze.
“Good. Now, I suggest that Claire walk Matthew back to the path. When he is safely on his way home, we will begin.”
Matthew glanced over at Claire and grinned. Suddenly, he looked right at home.
Claire stared at him standing in the wavering glow of the fire, in the middle of a pack of werewolves, and felt the pieces of her world slide together. It wasn’t what most people would consider normal, but that was okay. She could be happy, and that was more than a lot of “normal” people got, anyway.
She jerked her head in the direction of the path and Matthew followed her, while everyone else gathered around her mother, congratulating her on her new status. When they were safely hidden by a thick wall of trees, Claire stopped walking. Matthew stopped too, peering at her curiously. Claire grinned, stretched up on her toes, and kissed him. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming here!” she whispered.
“Your mother told me to keep it a secret—she wanted it to be a surprise.”
Claire rolled her eyes. “You don’t always have to listen to my mom, you know.”
“Actually,” Matthew said soberly, “I think I do.” He squeezed her hand.
“Yeah, you’re probably right about that.” Claire sighed.
“Don’t be upset—I’m not.” He gazed back toward the hidden clearing. “You’d better get back, huh?”
“Yep. Can you find your way home from here?”
“Sure. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? We can figure out someplace to go eat or something. Oh, and I’ll drive you on Monday, too.”
“Drive me where?” Claire asked, confused.
“To school.” Matthew looked astonished. “You do know that school starts Monday, right?”
“Oh my Goddess, no.” She glanced up at him. “What? I’ve sort of had some other things going on, you know?”
Matthew shook his head. “Yeah, but still.”
“Claire?” Her mother’s impatient voice called softly.
“Coming!” Claire turned back to Matthew, who dropped a quick kiss on her lips.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he whispered, and turned to walk down the path, back toward civilization. Claire watched him go, smiling as he disappeared between the trees.
In the clearing, her mother stood, waiting.
“Sorry,” Claire said automatically. “Where is everyone?”
“They are giving us a moment.”
“Oh.” Claire ducked her head. “Am I in trouble?”
“No, no. But I wanted to make sure you were okay before we begin the hunt. You looked … rather shocked, by everything.”
“Well, you looked pretty surprised yourself.” Claire tried to keep the accusation out of her voice, but failed miserably.
Marie waited silently.
“It was just weird, you know?” Claire kicked at the dirt. “I wasn’t expecting Beatrice to—uh, retire? And then Matthew coming here … it was just a lot. That’s all.”
“I understand. And if I had known what Beatrice had planned, I would not have kept Matthew’s presence a secret. I meant it to be a happy surprise, you understand?”
Claire nodded. “I’m just—I guess I’m just tired of secrets, is all.”
“I know. But for us, the time to hide things is finished. You are fully transformed. I can begin teaching you in earnest. From now on, things will make more sense to you. I am sure of it—but you must trust me.”
Claire looked at her mother, at the certainty blazing in her eyes, and nodded. Listening to Zahlia had been the biggest mistake she’d ever made. Maybe it was time to listen to her mother, after all.
“Good. We will have more time to talk later, but now I am anxious to begin the hunt.” She motioned Beatrice, Katherine, Judith, and Victoria back into the clearing.
When they had all taken their places around the fire, Marie raised her arms and began to chant. Though the words had always sounded strong when Beatrice said them, the power in Marie’s younger voice gave them more energy, and Claire shivered as the sound washed over her. When her mother gave the signal, they all burst into their true forms.
It was the first time Claire’s transformation had been complete. Every part of her felt right—her silky fur that caught the wind, the pads of her feet against the soft dirt—it was perfect. The feeling of release was so great that Claire couldn’t hold back the cry that rose through her. She threw back her head and howled. Around her, she could hear the others join in, calling out to the moon above them, the ground below, and the forest that circled them tight.
And now—her mother’s voice burst into Claire’s thoughts— we hunt!
They raced off into the woods. Exhilaration flooded through Claire as she ran alongside the others, her nose full of the smell of the fire, the trees, and the endless, moonlit night.
Everything was just beginning—she could feel it. She could smell it. And she wanted to follow the trail all the way to the end, wherever that may be.
Acknowledgments
WRITING IS A SOLITARY endeavor, but it is rarely accomplished alone. I am so grateful to the many people who helped me with this book.
Thank you to my amazing family, who have always encouraged me to follow my dreams—my husband and children, my mom and dad, and my brothers, Justin and Adam. Their support holds me up, keeps me going, and gives me light when things look dark.
My undying gratitude also goes to The Wordslingers—Trish, Heidi, Jean, Lisa, and Mandy—who help improve my writing every day. I rely on their invaluable advice, input, and support in all matters, literary and otherwise.
I have been lucky enough to work with some of the best professionals in the business. My intrepid agent, Caryn Wiseman, who believed in this project from the beginning and made sure it found the perfect home, all the while providing me with advice, hand-holding, and her own hard work. Of course, without the amazing editorial skills of Anica Rissi and her editorial assistant, Emilia Rhodes, this book would never have become what it is today. Their suggestions and insights opened whole worlds for me, and took Claire’s story to a level I couldn’t have imagined on my own. In addition to my thanks, I am pretty sure I owe them a whole box of mechanical pencils.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
<
br /> Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Claire de Lune Page 24