“Thank you, baby,” Kade tells Nikki. I walk back to my seat and sit down.
“As if she’s going to say otherwise, Kade. It’s like your mother telling you that you’re smart and special. She’s your wife, she’s conditioned to think so. I, on the other hand, call it like I see it.”
With that parting comment she takes her turn, bowling her hot pink ball and making a strike. I see her turn to me and give me an evil grin. She lives to annoy Kade. He’s like the brother she never wanted, but got anyway.
“A lesser man would be intimidated by your cousin,” James says with a smirk.
“Good, she chases off all the pussies, then,” I tease.
Jye’s turn is next. Seeing as he's too small all he has to do is push the ball off the children’s ramp, which James ended up doing for him anyway. But at least he feels included. Layla bowls next and I burst out laughing when it goes straight to the gutter. I glance over at Chase to see him trying to hide his smile. Knowing him, he probably wants to walk over there and hit all the pins down himself. When the first game is over, we decide to play again.
“How about the Crawfords vs the Steeles/Jacksons?” Tenielle asks. We all get organized into the teams, Kade, Nikki, James, Grace on one team. Chase scowls when Layla walks over to our side.
“I need to even up the teams!” she explains.
“I go where you do,” he states, walking to our side. When James calls out for Jye to go on his team, I visibly cringe. I might have forgotten to tell him about that. Before I can say anything, Tenielle has to say, “Jye is a Crawford, not a Steele.”
“No, he’s not.” James says casually. Then he sees the look on my face. It must be extremely guilty, because his eyes narrow instantly.
“Awkward…” Nikki adds in a sing song voice. James’ eyes say ‘we will discuss this later’. We continue the game, enjoying ourselves even though there's slight tension between James and me. I dread the ride home, but it finally arrives after we all have dinner together. The first ten minutes are silent and then he finally speaks.
“You didn’t give him my last name,” he states.
“James-”
“Can you imagine how I feel right now?” he snaps.
“I know, I’m sorry,” I say in remorse.
“You need to change his name, Sasha,” he demands.
“We aren’t married James. And we weren’t together. It’s perfectly normal for a mother to give her child her own surname. You weren’t in the picture at the time,” I tell him patiently.
“And why was that again, Sasha?” he says harshly. I look behind to make sure Jye is still sleeping. I never want to be one of those mothers that constantly fights in front of their children.
“You gonna keep throwing it in my face? I’m pretty sure that isn’t forgiveness,” I say after a few moments of tense silence.
“I forgave you but that doesn’t mean I can just forget,” he replies.
“You’re not completely innocent in this either, okay?” I bite back. James grips the steering wheel tight, his knuckles turning pale with the force.
“I'll change his name,” I concede.
“I didn’t even get to sign his birth certificate. Is my name even on it?” he says, his anger barely contained.
“Your name is on it,” I say with a sad sigh.
“At least there’s that,” he mutters under his breath. The rest of the ride is spent in uncomfortable silence. When James walks with me into my apartment carrying a sleeping Jye, I have a feeling he isn’t going to stay the night tonight. And when he says he'll see me tomorrow and storms out, I know I was right.
***
James
I walk to my fridge and pull out an ice cold beer, slamming the door with extra force. I down half the bottle in one huge gulp, wishing I had something a little stronger. I hardly ever get drunk, I can’t afford the luxury in case I get called into the safe house.
My own son doesn’t even carry my name. My parents are going to love this. Jye Crawford. Fucking Hell. This is a mess, just when I think we're moving forward and not living in the past. I palm my face, willing myself to calm down. I need to get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning. I have a quick, cold shower and throw on a pair of worn sweat pants. Tumbling into my bed, I find myself tossing and turning. Great, I can’t even sleep without her now. I hate it when we fight. I always did.
I grab the remote off the nightstand and put the TV on, to the music video channel. I groan when Sasha’s new favourite song is playing, ‘Everything has changed’ by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. She's been playing it on repeat for the last few days, overplaying the song until I never want to hear it again. She always does it too, with whatever song has her mesmerized at the time. I switch the TV off, and close my eyes, willing myself to sleep.
I dream of my family.
***
I do a hundred sit-ups before moving onto the treadmill. I have my plan set out for the day, and I'm going to stick to it. Work out for two hours, then shower and go to Sasha’s and talk. Then I have to go and see my accountant over some financial business.
I put my ear phones in, blasting out the world with ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails. I really need to fuck Sasha to this song. I say fuck, because this is not a song you make love to. The thought gets me semi-hard. I stop jogging and put the treadmill off, when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me from behind, touching my bare stomach.
When I glance down and see pale hands instead of olive fingers with bright polish I freeze for a second, before pulling out my earphones and spinning around. She instantly pulls her hands away, and rubs the dampness from my sweat on her uniform.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snap at her. She always comes here in her uniform, because she knows I think it’s sexy as hell. She admitted it to me once, and I thought it was hot back then. Now - not so much.
“I came to chat,” she purrs, staring down at my basketball shorts. My hard on is still there, visible for her to see.
“Is that for me?” she asks boldly.
“No, it isn’t. If you aren’t here for work, Tatiana, you need to leave,” I tell her frankly.
She’s about to speak when her phone rings. Her ring tone is ‘Mrs. Officer’ by Lil Wayne. I never realised how annoying that was.
“Shit, I gotta go,” she says, sounding disappointed.
“Give me back the emergency key, Tatiana,” I demand softly.
“What? Why?” she huffs.
I hold my hand out and wait as she reluctantly hands it over.
“You’ve changed, James,” she says before walking out and slamming the front door behind her.
***
Sasha
When I hear the door open I stand up, looking forward to talking to James. I couldn’t sleep last night. I missed him that much.
“James...” I start, but am cut off when he takes my face in his palms and pulls me in for a hungry kiss. His tongue flickers against mine, and I hum my pleasure. He retreats too soon.
“We'll change his name, okay. I don’t want to fight, and I don’t like sleeping without you. I want you and Jye to move into my house. It makes way more sense. My house is bigger, there's more room for Jye to play, and you both belong with me,” he says.
I blink. “How long did you practice that speech for?”
“The whole way over here. Did it work? Or do I have to go all caveman on you?”
“It worked. But maybe you could go caveman on me tonight in bed?” I whisper huskily.
James inhales sharply, before running his hands down over my ass, cupping and squeezing me.
“Where’s Jye?” he asks.
“He’s at Layla’s having a play-date with Cole,” I say.
“Fucking perfect,” he rumbles, slapping my ass once.
“Strip and wait for me in the bedroom. I want you laid out and ready for me,” he demands, taking a step back towards the front door.
“Where are you going?” I ask him.
***
Chapter Thirteen
Two weeks later
James
“So, I guess the honeymoon stage is already over then?” I drawl, purposely annoying her.
She ignores me, but shoots an evil look my way, before continuing to fold the clothes. Whenever Sasha is mad or upset, she cleans.
“Sasha-”
“Why does she call you so much?” she asks, the hurt visible in the tremor of her lips.
“Sasha, it’s just about her cases, things like that,” I lie. Tatiana had indeed called last night asking questions about how solid Sasha and I are. I didn’t feel comfortable with the conversation at all. Apparently the woman still thinks she has a chance with me. I need to take care of this before it escalates. I already have enough on my plate without having to deal with Tatiana.
“Bullshit!” she curses, folding another pair of jeans. I’d lost count after five, but apparently the woman owns a lot of pairs of jeans.
“Seriously, you don’t see my exes calling me,” she snaps.
“They wouldn’t dare,” I rumble cockily. This was apparently not the right thing to say. I move to avoid the pair of jeans that go flying past my face.
“I only have two weeks left of this work, Sasha-”
“So, you’re going to cut her out, then?” she asks, placing her hands on her hips. Her bangles cling together with the motion.
“Cut her out?” I ask.
“Yeah, you know, when you cut someone out. You avoid them, don’t answer their calls and delete them from your life. Kind of like you did to me when I was calling you from Scotland," she says, taking a low blow.
“Ouch,” I mutter.
“Yes or no, James,” she demands.
“I can’t just cut her out,” I sigh, rubbing my hand over the back of my neck in frustration.
“So, you can do it to me, but not her?” she asks, her voice getting higher in pitch. Definitely not a good sign.
I make a ‘calm down’ gesture with my hands that just makes her more pissed off. I can almost see the steam coming out of her ears.
“She still wants you, James, it’s pretty fucking obvious!” she yells.
“Sasha, I broke up with her for you. I haven’t even looked at her in that way again! Stop being such a bitch for no reason!” I tell her, losing my temper. She storms into the bathroom and slams the door. Luckily Jye is at my mother’s and not here to witness this. I cringe when my phone rings and it's Tatiana. I palm my face and wait for her to leave a message. When my phone beeps I put it to my ear to listen to it.
James, you need to head out to Carmine for the Fiona Reed case. She's ready to be moved to a safe place. Call me, okay. Bye.
Fiona Reed is a lawyer who's a pit bull in the court room, yet somehow scared of her own husband. I don’t know what he did to her, because there was no visible abuse, but the woman was shit scared of him.
“Sasha! I gotta go to The Safe House. Babe, I’m sorry. You’re not a bitch, you’re my beautiful, stunning, amazing, tough girl, okay?” I say, sucking up to her as much as I can.
“Just go, James,” she says tonelessly.
“Sasha, I don’t want to leave you when you’re upset,” I say in a gentler tone. She opens the door with a heavy sigh, like the world is on her shoulders.
“Come here, my pretty girl,” I croon, opening my arms to her. She jumps into my arms wrapping her arms around my neck.
“We’re okay, I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m never going to stop,” I tell her.
She nods and kisses me on my neck. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Good, you can go down on me for two hours,” she says. I laugh out loud at that.
“Is that supposed to be a punishment for me? Cos it sounds like a reward,” I say honestly. I capture her lips in a possessive kiss before I head out.
***
Sasha
I open the front door to James’ house in agitation. Dressed in only a bath robe, the incessant knocking wouldn’t stop, so I had to jump out of my bath to answer.
“Yes?” I ask in confusion when I see two girls standing there. I blink a few times as I take in their attire. Red leather mini skirt, and a glittery bra. Or at least that’s what it looks like. The second girl is wearing a white mini dress. It’s see through and I can plainly see her nipples. I rack my mind for the date, it’s not Halloween is it?
“Is James here?” Red leather asks.
“No,” I reply.
She pouts. “Oh. Well, how about Kade?”
“Yeah, no.” I tell her, not offering her anything else. White mini dress sighs, looking put out.
“What do you want with them?” I ask curiously.
“What don’t we want with them?” Red leather giggles.
“Right. You know Kade is happily married with children?” I ask, pulling my towel up further.
They both shrug, like it makes no difference. I blink once. And then slam the door in their face. I head back to the bathroom and jump back into the tub. Several minutes later, I hear One Directions ‘More Than This’ coming from my phone. I answer it with a grin.
“Hey, Layla!”
“Hey cuz. How do you feel finally moved in with James?” she asks.
“Pretty good, actually,” I answer.
“Good. Anyway Cole and Jye are back from Lucy’s so I’ll drop him off in about an hour,” she says.
“Perfect! Feel free to bring over some cupcakes,” I say in a hopeful tone.
“Yeah, yeah, I already packed some for you,” she says with a giggle.
“You’re the best. Cole still staying at mine tomorrow night?” I ask.
“Yes! Thank you for keeping him. Chase and I need a night alone,” she says.
“Anytime, you know that.”
“See you in a bit.”
“Okay bye Laylay.” I say before we both hang up. My phone rings again, this time with ‘Lightning crashes’ as the ring tone. Ah. Shit. My finger hesitates around the button before I finally press answer.
“Hello Ryder,” I say cheerfully.
“So you remember me baby girl?” he drawls.
“You’re famous, how could I forget?”
“James Steele is Jye’s father. I honestly didn’t see that one coming,” he says dryly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Ry,” I say in all honestly.
“Well, I hear you’re happy now, that’s all that matters to me,” he says in the gentlest tone.
“When do I get to see you?” I ask him.
“Come over and see me anytime, baby girl. Bring that beautiful boy of yours,” he tells me
“Okay. Give my love to Lexi,” I say.
“I just gave her my love, as a matter of fact,” he says with a snicker.
“Yeah, ewww, Ryder,” I deadpan.
“See you soon, Sash,” he says.
We both hang up and I place my phone on the floor, taking a deep breath and sliding under the water. We finally got all my belongings moved in, and I told James to take the pole out of the living room. Kade and he both took it down together, mumbling things like ‘end of an era’ and ‘we’re getting old’. I was trying to hide my laughter but failed miserably.
I resurface the water, reluctantly draining the bath and getting out. This house has so much room, James turned one of the bedrooms into a wardrobe for me. One whole room as a wardrobe. He even fitted it with storage and cupboards for everything. I am seriously spoilt.
I dry my hair and body and then dress in a pair of black tights and a loose black top. I head into the kitchen and pour myself a juice, frowning when I see a message on the answering machine. I hit the button.
James, its Nancy. You’ve been trying to call me?
Beep.
Who the hell is Nancy?
***
James
It’s two AM when I finally get home. I check on Jye in his room, before heading to our bedroom. Sasha is fast asleep on her stomach, dressed in some ridiculous onesie thing that Layla bought her. She looks seriously comfortable though, that I’ll admit. I strip down to my boxer shorts and jump in next to her, exhausted and wanting nothing more than to hold her.
I love having her and Jye to come home to. It’s perfect. I kiss her on the back of her neck, tasting her skin. She's so flawless to me, so amazing. I could watch her all day, her every move, her every smile. Fucking beautiful, every inch of her. I hum in pleasure as I take in her peach scent, before wrapping her in my arms and falling asleep.
I wake up and almost scream when the first thing I see is Jye’s face, about a centimetre from mine, his eyes so like my own, wide and unwavering.
“Good morning,” I say, my voice raspy from sleep. Jye grins and shows me a scribbly drawing he’s done.
“I love it,” I beam, earning myself another grin.
“You had two visitors yesterday,” Sasha says as she walks into the room.
“What? Who?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“Two girls. Looking for you or Kade. I don’t think they cared which one they got either,” she says dryly.
“Sorry,” I say sheepishly. Sasha mutters something under her breath, about ‘having standards’ and then hands me a cup of coffee.
“Thanks,” I say gratefully.
“How was last night?” she asks.
“It was good. The woman is at The Safe House, and there were no issues.” I explain to her the events of last night, loving that I can be honest and truthful with her.
“Okay. I gotta head to work,” she says as she puts on her sexy black shoes. I admire the curve of her waist in the tight skirt she’s wearing.
“Looks like it’s just me and you, little man,” I tell Jye. Sasha finishes getting ready, kissing both of us before she leaves. I take Jye into the kitchen and put him in his feeding chair. Sasha said I should cut up some fruit as a snack for him, so I pull out a banana, pear and some strawberries, and begin cutting them up.
After his snack, Jye is seriously grubby, so I give him a quick bath before heading outside with him to play. Having been absent in his life in the beginning, I’m never going to take being a father for granted. I know the most important thing you can give a child is your time, so I intend to spend as much time with Jye as I can. I know I can offer him financial security, for which I’m grateful. I already opened a bank account for him, and a certain amount will go into it every month. Let’s just say Jye is going to have an amazing car for his sixteenth birthday. The thought makes me smile.
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