“James, you’re married,” I say, stating the obvious.
“Sasha-”
“I’ve been living with and having sex with a married man. Oh my god, Jye is your secret love child!” I say in shock.
“Now you’re just being dramatic,” he says with a sigh, running his hands through his blond hair.
“You’re married. I’ll be as fucking dramatic as I want to be,” I snap.
“It was a one night thing in Vegas! We hooked up, I was drunk. I haven’t even seen her since then,” he explains quickly, probably before I can cut him off again.
“And why didn’t you divorce her straight away?” I ask him. The question of the hour.
“I didn’t even remember marrying her until Chase told me I rang him, inviting him to the wedding. Apparently by the time he came it was too late. I left Vegas, and just pretended it never happened. It didn’t affect me, I never saw her, and I completely forgot about it. Until you came back into my life, and then I told her to sign the papers straight away.”
“Why is she here?” I ask tonelessly.
“She wants money,” he growls.
“You sure know how to pick them, James,” I say dryly.
“Is everything okay, Sasha?” I hear Sax say from behind me. I turn around to stare at him, wearing nothing but a pair of low slung jeans. Couldn’t he put a shirt on? My eyes roam over his chest, noticing he does indeed have his nipples pierced. And more tattoos.
“I had no idea you weren’t alone,” James says quietly in a deathly tone. I turn back towards him to see his posture rigid and his jaw tensed. His blue eyes are as dark as I’ve ever seen them.
“Sax is staying here until Ryder gets back,” I explain.
“Come on, I’m taking you home,” James demands.
“She can stay here if she wants,” Sax offers calmly.
“This has nothing to do with you,” James snaps at Sax, his fists now clenched by his sides.
“Really? Because it was me that stayed up all night listening to her cry herself to sleep,” Sax replies.
“Sax!” I hiss. Didn’t he remember the gentleman conversation? I know Sax has scored a hit because James looks crestfallen. I see his adam’s apple work as he swallows, and looks down for a moment.
“Fine. Let’s just go and pick up Jye,” I relent inelegantly. James exhales in relief, and squeezes his eyes shut for a second. I turn around and give Sax a peck on the cheek.
“Thanks, Sax,” I tell him.
He nods. “Remember you can always come here, okay?”
I smile and give him a hug. He’s been so good to me. I walk out the door and past a fuming James, ignoring the death stares he's sending Sax’s way.
The drive to my mother’s house is tense and unfamiliar. James tries to take my hand into his, but I pull it away. I don’t want to hurt him, but he’s freaking married. I just can’t get over that, no matter how or why it happened. By law, he doesn’t belong to me. I run in and pick up Jye, politely refusing my mother’s several offers of food and drinks. When Jye is safe and buckled in his car seat we drive home, only talking to Jye, not each other.
“I'll drop you two home, then I’m going to meet with my lawyer. I’ll sort this all out, okay.” He promises.
I stay silent.
***
Chapter Twenty-One
James
Chase meets me at my lawyer’s office, bringing his own lawyer with him.
“Don’t fucking pay her off, James,” he demands again, not for the first time.
I just want her to go away. If I don’t sort this out ASAP I might lose Sasha, and that’s not worth any price. We sit there for an hour, waiting. I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack when she finally saunters in, as if she has all the time in the world. The lawyers hand me the forms I need to sign. I can’t sign them fast enough. Apparently because I was intoxicated and we didn’t have sex after we got married, I can get an annulment. We had sex once before the wedding, but that's a whole different story.
“James, you can go, I’ll handle the rest,” Chase informs me. The glacial look in his eyes makes me almost feel sorry for Nancy. Almost.
“Call me when it’s done, alright. I need to go and make things right with Sasha,” I tell him.
“I’ll call you the second it’s all done,” he says, slapping me on my back. I drive home, thinking about what I’m going to say to Sasha, how I'm going to convince her to forgive me.
She has to.
***
Sasha
“Don’t you think you’re a little old to still have this One Direction obsession?” I ask Layla. I’m sitting at her kitchen table, watching her as she cooks up some typical Sri Lankan food. It smells good.
“I have no idea what obsession you’re talking about,” Layla says, keeping a straight face. Her hair is in a high ponytail, and she looks beautiful in a simple floral dress. Chase is a lucky man, and he better not forget it.
“I saw Zayn as your phone background, Layla,” I announce dryly.
“Oh, fine. Come on, admit it. He’s freaking hot!” she says animatedly.
We laugh, and she turns off the stove, facing me.
“You wanna talk about it?” she asks, her expression concerned.
“What’s there to talk about? He’s married. He lied about it. My life sucks,” I complain. Layla shoots me a sympathetic look before walking over to Cole and Jye and placing a bowl of cut up fruit in front of them. They're both sitting at Cole’s small table playing with toys.
“I can’t believe Chase didn’t tell me,” she says with a scowl. Her wide brown eyes narrow for a moment, and I see a flash in them that I don’t like.
“Don’t get mad at him over this,” I plead. I really don’t want my drama leaking into everyone else’s lives.
“I know, but still. You’re my cousin, Sasha, my blood. I never wanna see you hurt,” she says softly. I huff out a weary sigh, and take a chocolate dipped strawberry from the plate in front of me.
“You can always stay here with us, you know,” she reminds me.
“I know. Hey, you know who’s hot?” I ask randomly.
“Besides Chase and Zayn?” she asks playfully.
“Well, yes,” I say dryly.
“Who?” she asks, like it never crossed her mind there was anyone else out there besides those two.
“Saxon.”
“Morning Alliance Saxon?”
“Yeah, don’t you think?” I ask, my nose scrunched up.
“Well, yeah, but he cheated on Lexi, and you know what they say. Once a cheater…” she trails off.
“Hey, everyone deserves a second chance,” I tell her, snapping my mouth shut when I realise what I said.
“Do they?” Layla asks, her eyes twinkling.
“Totally different circumstances,” I say, slightly defensive.
“True, but James would never cheat on you,” Layla says.
“Silver lining. Are you the leader of the James fan club, or something?” I ask in a dry tone.
“He’s a goner for you, Sasha. So he got a little married,” she cringes when she says married and my shoulders shake with laughter.
“There's no defending that, no matter how much you try, Layla,” I say around another bite of strawberry.
“This is some Jerry Springer shit,” she mumbles.
“Truth.”
“When does Ryder get back?” she asks after a few moments of comfortable silence.
“In two weeks. I told Sax not to tell him anything, I don’t want to ruin his holiday with Lexi,” I say. There’s a knock on the door and Layla goes to open it.
“Do you want a drink, Jye?” I ask him. He nods yes.
“How about you, Cole?”
“Yes please,” he says. I get up and take out two juice boxes from the fridge, opening both before placing them in front of them.
“There you are,” Kade says as he walks in and sees me.
“What do you mean, there I am?”
“Looks like I arrived just in time,” he says with his trademark smirk.
“You better call him,” Layla says.
“Is he still married?” I ask Kade. He cringes but nods.
“Then I have nothing to say to him,” I say bitterly.
“If James is done, then where’s Chase?” Layla asks Kade. He eyes me for a second before answering her.
“Chase stayed back with the lawyers to sort it out. James wanted to go to Sasha.” Kade’s phone rings and he answers with, “Yes, she’s here at Layla’s. Bye.” He hangs up. I groan and palm my face.
“He forgave you, Sasha. Remember that,” Kade says casually, but the look in his eyes is anything but.
“He’s married,” I say, enunciating each word.
“Yes, I get that, but you gave birth to his child and never told him. I’d consider that even,” he snickers. I consider punching him.
“Kade, forget he’s your brother for a moment,” I say.
"Yeah, he's an ass," he says after thinking it over for a second.
I throw my hands up in a ‘finally’ gesture. Kade walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek.
“Wanna get drunk?” he asks.
“Yes,” I sulk.
“You two go ahead, I’ll watch Jye,” Layla says. I swear, the woman is a regular Martha Stewart.
“You know you want to,” Kade says, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Won’t James be here soon?” I ask him, suddenly suspicious.
“He will,” he agrees with a slight nod of his head.
I stand up.
***
“Can I ask you something?” I ask Kade.
“Of course you can. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna answer,” he smirks.
“Are you always this annoying?” I huff.
“Is that your question?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. His hair is growing longer again and I’m glad cos he’s sexier that way.
“Do I only get one question?”
“Did you just check me out?” he counters.
“I did,” I admit, downing my shot. I believe this one was called a squashed frog.
Kade sips his beer, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Does this man do anything except laugh?
“Are you gonna ask me or what?” he says as he signals for another two drinks.
“Oh, right. Why did you take me here? It looked like you wanted to kill me then all of a sudden you changed your mind and were on my side,” I ask bluntly.
He thinks it over for a bit, gathering his thoughts before answering. “You were right. I wasn’t looking at it from your point of view, only from my baby brother's. I had Layla’s back when shit went down, now I’m gonna be here for you. James is one of my favourite people in the world, and he’s probably fuming mad right now, but he'll deal. And you two will make up,” he says with confidence.
“What bar is this? I’ve never heard of it,” I say, looking around. It’s definitely not a place I'd frequent. I’m tempted to pull out the small hand sanitizer I carry around in my bag.
Kade smiles, almost proudly. “I love this place,” is his vague answer. I see a woman walk past wearing a bikini and short shorts.
“I’ll bet you do,” I mutter. Kade sends a message on his phone, before turning to look at me.
“You wanna play some pool?” he asks, ignoring my comment.
“Sure,” I say, standing up and wobbling a little.
“You look like Bambi trying to walk for the first time,” he says, shaking his head at me.
“Hey! I hardly ever drink, you know,” I say defensively. Kade captures me by the arm and walks with me to the only available table. I break, and don’t sink anything. Kade rubs the back of his neck with his hand, and then cracks his neck.
“That’s gross,” I say.
“You have bigger issues right now. Like your embarrassing pool skills,” he says.
“You’re probably right,” I say seriously.
“Hey, man,” a guy says as he walks over to Kade. They do a fancy looking handshake that I have no idea how they remember.
“Who’s the hot chick?” random guy asks.
“My sister-in-law,” I hear Kade tell him. The comment makes me scoff.
“I’m pretty sure your sister in law is some hag named Nancy,” I say as I bend over to shoot my next shot.
“Sasha,” Kade snaps. The man eyes me for a moment, not being subtle in the least.
“So, are you taken, or not?” he asks me, licking his lips.
“She’s taken alright,” comes a quiet voice laced with menace.
I stare at James, who is fuming, and then turn to Kade.
“You didn’t,” I say accusingly. Kade just shrugs and gives me a shit-eating grin.
“Can’t trust any Steeles it seems,” I snap. Kade’s grin instantly fades, but at this moment, I don’t even care. James is still staring the guy down, and I’m able to check out his handsome profile. He really is sexy.
“What a shame,” I think out loud. James and Kade have some sort of communication with their eyes, and then Kade nods.
“Sasha, let’s go home, baby,” James says, his eyes softening. I put my cue away and head out of the bar. James puts his hand on the small of my back, in a possessive gesture. It kind of pisses me off.
“So, where’s Jye’s evil stepmother?” I ask, my voice spiked with sarcasm, as I slide into James’ car. Kade decided to stay at the bar.
“Sasha, that’s enough,” James demands, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel in frustration.
I make a sound of disgust.
“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, okay?” he says softly, his voice full or hurt and regret. We drive to Layla’s and pick up Jye before heading home.
“I’ll give Jye his dinner and a bath. You go have a shower and then we'll talk,” he decides. I roll my eyes at being told what to do but then a shower and bed does sound really good right now. I hug and kiss Jye and then head for a long, scalding hot shower. The ride home sobered me right up, and now I just feel agitated. I dress in my least sexy pajamas, flannel with cupcakes on them, and go to check on Jye. He's freshly bathed and in his own pajamas.
“Did he eat?” I ask James.
“Yes, I made him a sandwich,” James says, his expression not giving away his mood.
I read Jye a book in his bed until he falls asleep.
Time to face James.
***
James
I watch as Sasha walks out of Jye’s room and plops down ungracefully onto the chair. Her eyes are slightly red, they get like that after she has a few drinks.
“Will you listen to what I have to say?” I ask gently. She nods, her wide brown eyes locked with mine.
“I messed up. I just didn’t want to hurt you, Sasha. I know I’ve only made it worse now, but fuck. I couldn’t let you run again. I won’t let you run again. I want us to be a family more than anything, and I promise you I'll never let you down again. I’m willing to do anything to build the trust back between us. I'll put in so much effort to fix this. Just give me a chance, please, that’s all I’m asking for. One chance.”
I watch as different emotions flicker in her eyes.
Pain.
Hurt.
Regret.
I never want to see her upset again. Her pink lips are slightly pouted, and I want nothing more than to kiss her, to erase the last few days. When she says nothing, I can’t take it anymore. I walk over to her and push her long thick hair onto one side of her neck. With the tip of my index finger I lift her chin up and stare into soulful brown eyes.
“I love you so much. I want you in my life, Sasha. Now that I know what it feels like to have you here, I can’t go back to being without you. You know I'll never take you for granted and I'll always treat you like the princess you are. We're perfect together, please don�
�t give up on me,” I whisper. I’m begging and I don’t even care. I will get down on my knees if I have too. I guess it’s true, love has no pride.
Sasha exhales, her shoulders drooping as she leans her head on my chest. I cradle her head to my chest, closing my eyes and savouring the feel of her touch.
“Let’s go to bed, James,” she finally says, putting me out of my misery. She stands and I take the opportunity to taste her lips in a soft kiss. She doesn’t respond but she doesn’t push me away either. She wants me, but doesn’t want to. It hurts that she feels like that, but I can fix it. I know I can.
We lay next to each other, only slightly touching.
“Are you still married?” she whispers.
“Just need a few days for the annulment to go through. It’s getting taken care of, don’t worry, okay?” I tell her, hoping I’m saying the right words. I shuffle closer to her and take her into my arms. I kiss her on her forehead, breathe in her scent, so fucking happy she’s home where she belongs.
***
Chapter Twenty-Two
Two weeks later
Sasha
Work drags by slowly. I know it’s not helping staring at the clock every five minutes, but I can’t seem to help myself. Finally five thirty arrives and I can’t get out of there soon enough. I sing along to Incubus ‘Love Hurts’ on the drive home, probably more loudly than I should be. When I get home Jye is sitting on the floor playing with his toys. I scoop him up in my arms, and place kisses all over his face. He giggles and happy coos, “Mama.”
“How was your day, baby?” I ask him. I see James watching us interact out of the corner of my eye, and I hesitantly look his way.
“How was work?” he asks me, his tone careful and deliberate. I sit Jye on my hip, and his chubby hands grip onto my arm.
“It was okay. The usual,” I tell him.
“You know you don’t have to work,” he tells me. He's said this many times before. He has enough money, so I don’t need to work. The thing is I only work part time, and I want to have my own money.
“I know, James,” I respond. He knows how I feel about it, so I don’t elaborate.
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