by Lane, Sydney
I take a long drink from my beer and lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “Seth, don’t ever mention my mom again.” The smile drops from his face. “I mean it, dude. I will make you eat those words when I kick your ass.” For once, he doesn't have a smartass comeback.
I slowly stand and walk out of the room with everyone watching my back. As I turn the corner, Declan catches up to me. “Hey, Brody. What just happened in there? You know he didn’t mean anything.” Always the peacemaker.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t like it. I’ve had a shit day, and that was just the wrong thing to say.” I avoid looking him in the eye. I have no desire to see the questions swimming there.
“Ok, man. Just take some time to cool off.” I nod and take two steps before he stops me dead in my tracks. “This doesn’t have anything to do with last night, does it?”
My heart races as I turn around. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing, man. I just saw you dancing with Quincy. Then I saw you leave with that redhead. Just so you know, Quincy's not the kind of girl you usually bring here.” I meet his eyes as they study my face, searching for the truth.
So I lie. “We were just dancing. I have no interest in her whatsoever.” And tell the truth. “She’s too good for me, man. You know that.”
The look of relief on his face does me in. “That makes me feel better. She said the same thing, but I just wanted to hear it from you.” My stomach flips, and I suddenly feel sick. She said the same thing. Except she probably meant it.
He gets that lovesick look on his face before he adds, “I really like her, and I don’t want anything to mess it up.” The line has been drawn. If I cross it now, it is with the full knowledge that I'm betraying a brother. I can’t even pretend I don’t know.
Chapter 7
I've managed to avoid Declan since our conversation yesterday. I'm still a little chaffed, but I really have no right to be. For the hundredth time, I remind myself that we're brothers. I won't let anything come between us, especially a girl. Bros before hos and all that shit.
But when I walk into psych class, dammit, I'm not prepared to see Quincy. What the hell is it with that girl? My first glimpse of her, and all I see is her smile, bright and sweet, as she looks over at Declan. Her giggle carries across the room, so carefree and happy until she looks up at me. Her brow creases as her smile slowly slips from her face, and I'm reminded that she will never laugh like that for me. I make her uncomfortable, and for that, I am glad. Maybe it will make it easier for me to stay away from her. Or make her stay away from me.
And why the hell are Eric and Declan sitting back there? We always sit up front near the door so we can get out quick when class is over. Declan is smiling at Quincy like she hung the damn moon…. And there's my answer. Fuck.
I climb the stairs and sit next to Eric. Throughout class, I feel Quincy's eyes on me. I'm trying my best to do the right thing, but that girl is pushing my limits. I know she likes Declan; I can see it on her face. So why the hell can't she leave me alone?
Finally, I allow my eyes to meet hers, and I instantly regret it. Her lips part as she takes a quick breath, and her cheeks flush. Her hair is pulled back, but some little curls have escaped to frame her face. I'm sure she isn't wearing any make-up, but she looks amazing. My eyes travel down her face, to her lips, then to the soft skin of her exposed shoulder. My breath hitches as I remember our almost kiss, and I have to force myself to look away. I sense Declan watching me, so I keep my eyes on my book. It suddenly feels as if the air is being sucked out of the room, and I jump from my seat when class is dismissed. I want to bolt, but I'm trapped by the rush of bodies as people push past us.
Quincy is shoving her books into her backpack like a madwoman, and I know she's just as affected by me as I am her. As soon as she takes off, Declan reaches for her, stopping her, and asks, "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"
Her eyes briefly move to me before she turns away. "I, um, I just wanted to go look over some notes for my next class. You know, to be prepared?" She's flustered, and though I can't act on it, I get some satisfaction out of knowing she can't ignore me either.
"Hey, Jenna's meeting me for coffee in about ten minutes. Want to go with us?" Eric asks. I can see the hesitation on her face, so I do the only thing I can.
"Hey, E, I'm headed to the library. I have a test later, and I need a few minutes to study." I create my excuse so I can get the hell on. She actually looks relieved, her shoulders visibly relaxing. I’m used to having an effect on girls, but this is not the usual. I’ve never had a girl affect me this way.
As we all walk toward the door, Quincy and I walk through together. I angle my body so that she can slide through. As her arm brushes mine, I catch the faint scent of sunshine and vanilla. “Beautiful.” The word slips from my mouth, unbidden and definitely unwelcome.
She falters, hesitating a moment before continuing through the door. Declan reaches for her hand and pulls her forward, leaving me alone and resisting the urge to step between them, to pull their hands apart, to break their connection.
Instead, I turn on my heel and walk in the opposite direction, reminding myself that there are plenty of girls around, most of them willing to do whatever I want. But who am I kidding? I know that, without a doubt, I'm screwed. Completely, undeniably screwed.
When I get back to the house, Seth is waiting for me. It’s only 2:00 P.M. on Monday afternoon, and he’s already drinking. “Man, I’ve been waiting for you to get back. Where are the guys?” His words are slurred as he tries to balance himself in the doorway.
“They went to get coffee. What the hell, man? Why are you already drinking?” There's always a reason to party in a fraternity house. All you have to do is find it.
“I only have class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this semester. I’m off tomorrow, so I figured today was as good a day as any.” His eyes light up with a flicker of clarity. “And it’s too damn hot for coffee.”
“They took the girls.” No need to explain which girls. We all know which girls.
“Yeah? Well, I can’t blame them there. Those girls are smokin’. They’re almost as hot as your mama.” He snickers and rocks back on his heels.
“Fuck you, Seth.” I shove past him, making sure I snag his shoulder with mine. He almost falls down but catches the wall with his free hand.
“What the hell, Bro? You know I’m just kidding. I’d take that Quincy chick over your mom any day.” Again, wrong thing to say.
Spinning on my heel, I get in his face. I can smell stale beer on his breath, and sweat rolls down his forehead. “I told you. I’m tired of the mom jokes. And don’t ever talk about Quincy. As a matter of fact, don’t even say her name. In this house, we respect women. You got that?” Backing away from him, I take a few calming breaths.
Seth’s eyes widen in surprise. Or disbelief. Maybe both. “Dude, you’ve been acting weird all week. What’s going on?”
His words are like a bucket of water being thrown in my face. Before now, I would have laughed at his dumb jokes and maybe even dished it back. I’m going fucking crazy. I run my hand through my hair and attempt a smile. “It’s just…. I don’t know, man. Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have?”
“Yeah. All of the time.” He looks serious, his brow drawn into a frown. His eyes trail over my shoulder, as if he’s in a different place. I take a deep breath before I dive in.
“Well, what’d you do about it?”
“I moved the fuck on. Where one door closes, another door opens. Or some shit like that.” He frowns again. “You know what I’m sayin'?”
I nod, but I ask, “What if the doors that open don’t really lead anywhere? There is nothing there that you want, and the only thing that’ll satisfy you is behind door number one?”
He laughs a loud thunderous laugh before clapping me on the back and leading me to the bar. “I drink.” He removes the liquor from the cabinet and pours two shots. When he hands one to me, I th
row my head back and swallow the whole shot at once. My worries slip away as I feel the burn slide down my throat and settle in my stomach.
Seth and I spend the better part of the evening in the basement watching ESPN and drinking. When I finally stumble upstairs, I fall back onto my sofa and take my shoes off. I’m rolling around like a bear in a sheet when I think I hear a girl’s laughter in Declan’s room. Becoming still, I sit forward with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. It couldn’t be. Could it?
Feeling like a stalker, I get up and stand at my door, knowing what I’ll find. The soft lilt of Quincy’s voice carries through, and it tears me to shreds. I left her with him today, and she's here with him tonight. I deserve whatever I get.
Knowing I will regret it, I pull open the door as if I’m on my way to the bathroom. I see her first, but I can’t linger. Her lips part, and I hear her sharp intake of breath right before she bites her bottom lip. Holy shit.
She doesn’t look disheveled, and her hair is still pulled into a braid. I'm relieved that her clothes aren't wrinkled and her lip gloss isn't smeared. Relief floods my veins. She wouldn’t look like that if she was leaving my room at midnight.
My eyes land on Declan. “Hey, man.” I try to act as if I don’t care, but my heart is beating out of my chest. It’s true, what they say about guilt. It’s hard to look a man in the eye when you want to stab him in the back.
“Hey. Let me walk her out, and I’ll be right back. I need to get some notes from you if you don’t mind.” I nod, but he barely glances my way as he speaks. If he did, perhaps he would see the battle waging inside me, but instead, he takes her hand and walks my girl to her car.
I want to kick his ass. Declan. The one person I know I can trust, the only person who knows the whole story about Paige. He knows what a horrible person I am, and he’s got my back anyway. Too bad I’m not worthy of his trust.
Chapter 8
By the time I get to work on Tuesday, I'm riding on empty. Players’ is the club where I bartend, but I hang out here most nights, too. It’s a sports bar during the day, but the dance floor opens at night. I don’t have to work. My parents pay most of my bills, and they were actually mad when they found out I had a job. It started out as part of a game. With me bartending here, we have brothers bartending at most of the clubs where we hang out. It started out as a way to help the under 21 brothers get drinks, but I kind of liked the freedom and sense of responsibility I felt when I earned my own money. Not to mention, I love my job. Bartending just comes naturally to me. I’m a social person, and I like women. What better job could there be? Behind the counter, I can be whoever I want to be. If I want to be the sympathetic guy, I can listen to sob stories and confessions all night long. If I want to be the player, I can turn on the charm. It seems as though all women in the club like the bartender. If they want a counselor, I can bullshit my way through some sort of generic advice. I’m their friend, counselor, and booze slinger all rolled into one. Sometimes, I can’t believe I actually get paid to do this job.
College night is on Thursday, and the weekends are always wild. Tonight, however, is slow. My boss, Vincent, is a cool guy, and he lets me work around my class schedule. No matter how much he likes me though, he’d fire me on the spot if he found out I was serving minors. I’ve backed off doing that lately. I kind of want to keep my job, and I'd hate to disappoint him.
I’m mixing the few drink orders I have when I turn around to find Quincy watching me. Judging by the pink that spreads across her cheeks, I’m fairly certain she was checking out more than the drinks. I hesitate, but it only takes a second to assess the situation. She's wearing a Players’ shirt, and she's standing at the pick-up station. Oh, fuck me. She’s working here.
A slow smile spreads across my face. This could be fun. “Well, well. So I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other, huh?” Or it could be a disaster.
“Hi, Brody. I didn’t know you worked here.” The corners of her mouth turn upward, but she doesn’t smile. She nervously shifts from foot to foot. I get the impression she isn’t sure what to make of this new revelation.
“Been here a year or so.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to act as if seeing her isn’t tearing my insides to shreds. “I’m guessing you’re the new girl Alex is training?” I push the drinks across the bar to her, making sure I don’t touch her. “Tell her to come get me if you all need anything.”
Alex is like a little sister to me, not that she'd let me show it. She's a piece of work, always bossing me around, trying to give me unsolicited advice. I'm pretty sure she thinks she has me figured out. And I'm certain she's just as messed up as I am. Alex has a huge chip on her shoulder, and she doesn't take shit from anyone. I don't have to worry about her being able to take care of herself. The way she's taking care of Quincy, I don't think I'll have to worry about her either.
Throughout the night, I find myself watching every move Quincy makes. It's as if I have no control over my own body. When she's around, I can't take my eyes off of her. My blood rushes into my pants, and my heart pounds to its own erratic beat. My mind thinks things I have no business thinking. She's not doing anything special, just following Alex and taking orders. But she looks delicious.
Although I feel her gaze on me several times, I resist the urge to meet her eyes. Instead, I concentrate on the girls at the bar, forcing a smile and a flirtatious tone. This is what I do. I'm sporting a semi all night long, but I know, without a doubt, none of these girls will satisfy me.
I can't help but wonder what it is about her that I want so much. Maybe it's because I think she may be a challenge, that she'd make me work for it. Maybe I want a taste of all of that innocence. Or maybe it's just because I know she's off limits. If I could just have her once, I'd be over this... whatever it is. And then, I wonder, for the first time, if I had her once, would it really be enough?
When she suddenly looks up, our eyes meet, and like electricity, I feel a hum in the air. Her eyes widen, and she shyly looks away, but I know she felt it too. It's as if there is a magnet between us, drawing me to her, and the harder I pull away, the stronger the attraction becomes. Like, maybe, I was meant to find her. It has taken everything I have to keep me away from her, but fate keeps placing her in my path. We have class together, and now I have to work with her. There is this constant pent up attraction building between us, and I'm tired of fighting it.
I listen while she gets instructions from Alex and watch as she walks toward the back door. Before my brain can tell my feet to stop, I'm following her. I tell myself it's because I want to see her to her car safely. It is dark and deserted out back, but I know I'm the only thing she needs to be running from.
When she reaches for the door handle, I wrap my hand around hers. Jumping, she spins around to face me. The fear in her eyes turns to instant relief when she recognizes me. Her breathing hitches as I inch closer to her, invading her personal space. I’m so close that I can smell the shampoo in her hair. "Did you think of an answer to my question, Quince? Are you with Declan or not?" Her name rolls off my lips, and I like the sound of it.
The defenses she's built around herself slam firmly into place. “I’m not with anyone, Brody. I’ve only known him a week. That’s not long enough to know anything about anyone.” The slight flicker of defiance on her face makes me proud. My girl has fire inside of her.
“Oh, I don’t know about that." I lean into her, my lips grazing her cheek. “I know enough to know that I’d like to kiss you right now. To know that if I do, it won’t be nearly enough.” She inhales sharply, and I imagine I can see her pulse beating just beneath her ear. “I know you want to kiss me like I want to kiss you. I just don’t know the answer to my question.” She trembles against me, and I can feel the rise and fall of her chest as she takes deep breaths. I haven't even touched her, but my body is on fire.
She moves toward me, her lips whispering across mine, but I pull away. I want an answer. I see the uncertainty, the doubt swimming in he
r eyes before she closes them and whispers, "No, Brody. The answer is no."
Those are the words I needed to hear, the only ones I'll accept. I wrap my hand around her waist and push her against her car. Her eyes pop open, and I maintain eye contact as my lips devour hers. I lick her bottom lip, nipping it with my teeth before plunging my tongue into her mouth. Wanting full access, I grasp her face between my hands, drawing her into the kiss. Her tongue moves with mine, and I know, without a doubt, that a kiss has never felt this way before. When she moans low in her throat, I almost come undone. I want to make her mine. Mine. That thought intrudes on the moment, bringing me crashing back to reality. Slowing the kiss, I finally pull away. "I knew it would be just like that."
Licking her lips, she slowly opens her eyes. Again, I see unasked questions swarming there. She takes a few deep breaths, and I step back as she leans against her car. She looks as confused as I feel. "Give me a chance, Quince. You might just like what you find."
Walking away from her is hard to do. I want this girl. I want to throw her into my Jeep, take her back to the house, and fuck some sense into her, into myself. Just once. To get her out of my system. Instead, I walk away, leaving her staring after me.
When I get back inside, Alex is glaring at me. She can't possibly know what happened, but she's going to give me shit anyway. Once I'm behind the bar, she marches over and plants herself at the service area. I ignore her for as long as I can before I finally ask, "What, Alex? What has you standing here throwing daggers at me?" I cross my arms over my chest and smirk. I know exactly what's on her mind.
"What the hell was that?" she practically spits at me.
I play dumb and say, "I have no idea what you are talking about. If you've got something to say, say it." This mother bear thing is getting on my nerves.
"Brody, don't be stupid. I saw you watching Quincy all night. I saw how she was looking at you, too. You followed her outside, and I know you weren't being the Good Samaritan by helping her to her car." She taps her foot on the ground. If she wants answers from me, she's going to be here a while. I don't answer to anyone. "She's dating your fraternity brother for crying out loud!"