by Lane, Sydney
I love this girl. I can finally admit it. I love Quincy Priest.
"Let's go, babe. Let's get out of here." I need to be with her, only her. I hold my breath while she studies my face. Different emotions pass through her eyes. Hesitation. Fear. Happiness. Resolve. She nods, offering me her hand. I don't give her a chance to change her mind. I take her outstretched hand and lead her from the dance floor.
Keeping an eye out for Declan, I guide her off the floor and out of the club. Outside, I inhale deeply, taking large gulps of fresh air. I felt like I was suffocating in there. Too many people, too many secrets.
I can no longer resist her. My restraint snaps when I wrap my hands around her, pushing her against my Jeep. I need reassurance that nothing has changed between us. I get my answer when she stands on her toes, pulling my head to hers. She attacks my lips, tasting, tugging.
Umpphhhh. I'm suddenly stumbling backwards, shocked for a moment, before I realize what happened.
"Brody! What the hell, man?" Declan steps between us, pushing Quincy behind him. "What are you doing?" His voice cracks, and I realize that the last thing I had hoped would never happen just did. He just found out in the worst way possible. I'm such a piece of shit. Before I can utter a word, Quincy jumps between us, as if she could really keep us apart if we wanted to fight.
She yells, "Declan! Stop!" The pain in her voice stops me. She's hurting, and that's something I can't tolerate. Her chest rises and falls rapidly while she struggles to gain control of herself. Declan turns to her, his eyes going from her to me and back again. I see the moment the realization dawns on him.
His face falls as he confronts her, "Him? It's been him this whole time, hasn't it?" Ahh, fuck. Quincy nods almost imperceptively. I'm so proud of her in that moment. No more lies. He isn't finished, though, driving in the last stake.
“How could you? You were special to me, and all you had to do was tell the truth. I trusted you!” Something inside of her breaks, her pain palpable. I get that we were wrong, but I'm not going to let him tear her apart. I step forward, causing Declan to turn his eyes on me. His rage hits me hard in the chest.
"And you? You're my fucking brother!" No more lies. Not even to myself.
“I didn’t want you to find out like this, Dec, but I love her. And I will do whatever it takes to keep her.” It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
His sharp intake of breath cuts me down. I really am the piece of shit I always knew I was. Struggling to find words, Declan opens his mouth and closes it. When he finally speaks, it's not what I expect.
“No. You know what? You two deserve each other.” Swiping his hand across his face, he turns and stalks away.
Quincy doesn't move for what feels like minutes but is only seconds in reality. With her back to me, her shoulders slump, defeated. She looks as if she's being torn in two, but her decision should be easy. If I know her as well as I think I do, she's already blaming herself, telling herself she doesn't deserve to be happy. Slowly, I pull her to me, holding her reassuringly.
“Quince, it’s going to be Ok. He just needs some time to cool down.” I wish I believed the words I'm saying, but I don't know if anything will ever be the same again.
“Brody, I don’t want to come between you and your fraternity brothers. I was so stupid, and I am the reason this happened. I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.” She's doing exactly what I imagined, and if I don't put a stop to it now, her wall will crash into place, locking me out forever.
“Babe, you can’t keep breaking something that’s already broken. We are screwed up. No, this is screwed up. What we did was wrong, but I meant what I said. I love you, Quince.” My lips graze her forehead as I place a soft kiss there. “We’ll get through this. I promise.” And that is something I do believe.
I help Quincy into the Jeep, hoping to pull her back to me. I can already feel her pulling away, like I'm losing her. Leaning against the window, she stares into the darkness. I'd give anything to know what she's thinking. The tires crunch on the gravel of our driveway when I pull in. Quincy immediately sits up, her eyes becoming alert as she realizes where we are.
“Brody, I can’t go in there. Please, just take me home.”
I brought her to the house only because it's too late to go to the cabin, and there's no way in hell I'm taking her back to her dorm room where she'll be alone.
“Quince, I’m not letting you go home by yourself. His car isn’t even here, and I can take you home early in the morning. Come on, babe.” If I'm honest with myself, I would admit that I just don't want her to have the chance to realize she didn't make the right choice and doesn't want to be with me after all.
Reluctantly, she lowers herself from the Jeep. We walk through the house unnoticed, and I'm relieved when we close the door to my room. I didn't want any of this to happen, but now that it has, we are going to have to deal with it.
Quincy doesn't speak when I hand her a t-shirt. She doesn't even notice when I undress and slide into bed. Like a robot, she undresses and pulls the t-shirt over her head. She checks her phone, turns off the light, and finally lays down beside me. I pull her close, cradling her head in my hand against my chest.
“Night, Quince. Try to get some rest.” My shirt becomes wet under her cheek, her pain finally escaping. She cries in silence, her small shoulders quaking under my hand. I offer comfort in the only way I know how, and although she's upset right now, she'll be just fine. For someone so little, she has a lot of fight in her.
Chapter 34
When I wake up, I reach for Quincy but only find an empty bed. I miss her warmth pressed against me. Memories from last night wash over me, and I sit up suddenly, searching for her. If she's gone, something tells me she won't be back.
I sigh in relief when I find her. She's standing in front of the mirror, studying herself. Her eyes narrow and become wet with unshed tears. She's already beating herself up this morning, and it kills me to watch her struggle. I meant what I said. I love this girl, and I will do whatever it takes to make her happy.
I have no idea what this means for the fraternity and my brotherhood. If I think about it, it all becomes too much and stresses me out. My gaze returns to Quincy. The first thing I need to do is get Quincy back on track, starting right now.
"Don't torture yourself, babe." She jumps, turning her sad eyes on me. “I told you. Declan and I are guys. We’ll work it out. He’ll get over it. We just need to give him some time.” At this point, I don't know who I'm trying to convince more. Her or me? The truth is that I don't know that he'll ever forgive either of us.
Crossing her arms over her chest, Quincy announces, "I'm not going to class today." Everything about her is daring me to challenge her. But, hell, I don't care if she goes to class or not. After that shit night, she deserves a day off. She climbs into bed and curls up against me, and I almost ask her about coming to the cabin with my family.
Instead, I say, "Sure. I can dig not getting out of bed all day." She doesn't need any more stress this weekend, so I'll ask her again next time we go.
What starts out as a weak attempt to calm her ignites a fire deep in my groin. As my hands move over her body, caressing, touching, comforting, my intentions change. As her body awakens beneath my touch, she grows bolder, rolling over and straddling my hips. She hesitantly moves back and forth, learning how to take what she needs, as I grow hard between her legs.
“Oh, Quince, there is so much I want to show you.” She experiments, rotating her hips and leaning over to kiss me. I shiver as her lips trail over my neck and her teeth nip me. She's coming out of her shell, not only seeking, but taking what she wants.
Holding her in place, I raise my hips, grinding against her, teasing her. I reach for her shirt and drag it over her head. Her tiny excuse for panties is the only thing separating us, and I reach between us, tearing them from her body. I'm going to owe her a few pairs of underwear if I can't get some control over myself, and hey, I don't mind doing that if I get
to pick them out.
Her breasts hover over me, and I reach for them, caressing them, while she writhes above me. She lifts herself up, and I know what she's asking. Placing my hands on her hips, I hold her steady as I move my hips, pressing into her.
"God, Quince. You feel so good." She begins moving against me, and I guide her motions with my hips. Arching her back, she cries out in pleasure, and I explode inside of her.
Everything feels so good with her. Special. Laying her head on my chest, she rests on top of me, our breaths evening out. Wetness seeps down my leg. Oh, shit.
"Babe, we didn't use anything." I can't believe I did this to her, that I would make this mistake again after what happened with Paige. Have I not learned anything?
A small giggle escapes her before she assures me, "It’s Ok. I’ve been on the pill for a while because of irregular periods.” I'm glad she doesn't seem concerned because I almost had a damn stroke. I blow out a breath, sighing in relief, but it doesn't excuse my carelessness.
“Whew. That scared me for a second. I would never want to do anything to hurt you.” Her trust in me astounds me. Everything is new to her, and even though I know I've been careful, she doesn't know that.
Jumping out of bed to get dressed, she's already forgotten about it. I volunteer to go get breakfast, knowing she won't leave my room as long as there are people there. She's already told me that she plans to go home this weekend, and although I want to beg her to stay, I know it will be good for her to get away from this mess, even if it is for just a few days.
On my way back inside the house, I check the rooms downstairs and take an inventory of who is home. Eric is out of town with Jenna, and Seth and Declan aren't here, both of their cars missing from the driveway. I had hoped the sneaking was over, but after last night, I have no idea what to expect. All I know is that Quincy and I will make it through this together. Do I worry? Sure I do, but right now, Quincy doesn't need that. What she needs is someone who can make her feel loved and secure, and I will do everything in my power to be that person.
Upstairs, I find Quincy sitting in bed, watching reality TV. I may as well confess my guilty pleasure... I love sucky reality TV. I don't know why, can't even explain it. I could waste hours watching any and all of it.
I join her in my bed, and while we eat our bagels, I can almost convince myself that everything is going to be fine. As it gets later and it's time for Quincy to go home, I can sense her anxiety level increasing with each breath she takes. When she nervously looks at the clock for the tenth time, I know it's time to go.
“Quince, stop. I checked, and he isn’t here. As a matter of fact, the house is mostly empty. We can walk out any time, and no one will see us.”
Her anxiety doesn't begin to fade until we are in my Jeep and driving away from the house. My mind searches for answers I can't produce. Maybe I'll move out of the house, get an apartment or something. I'll be leaving for medical school soon if I get accepted, and we won't have to worry about any of this then.
I need to talk to Declan. It pisses me off that he tried to make Quincy feel bad. The more I think about it, the angrier I get, but then, I try to put myself in his shoes. If Quincy were mine, and he stole my girl, I'd feel exactly like he feels now. I would have beat his ass, no questions asked. I almost wish he had hit me.
At her dorm, Quincy jumps down from the Jeep and jogs up the steps. Before she disappears through the large double doors, she turns and blows me a kiss. I pretend to catch it and lift it to my face. See what this girl is doing to me?
Back at the house, Seth's car is sitting on the curb. It looks like he parked in a hurry or while he was more than a little inebriated. That boy is going to kill himself someday, and I'm going to kick his ass if he dies on me.
His door is open, so I go in and take a seat. I avoid sitting on his bed because you never know who he's had in there. There are clothes piled high in the corner, and his whole room stinks to high heaven. When he sees me, he shakes his head, resting his chin on his fist.
"You really did it this time, Bro." He looks at me pointedly. "Don't say I didn't tell you so, but this is so fucked up that on a scale of one to ten, it's an eleven for fuckupedness."
He's clearly drunk, and he's not on my side. This is what I've resorted to, sitting in the nastiest room of the house, smelling what I'm sure are his feet, and taking advice from Seth.
"What should I do, man? Am I going to get blackballed or what?"
"I know you think I don't know anything, and I've never had a girlfriend, but I will give you the best advice I can." He smirks, and I know I'm either going to love what he has to say or I'll hate it. "I know you care about her, dude. There is no point in trying to hide it because anybody with half a brain can see it. Man, I'd do anything to have a girl look at me just once the way she looks at you. What you did sucked, and you'll have to face the consequences soon enough. Just don't let one bad decision ruin the rest of your life. No one can be in charge of your happiness but you, and you can only take control once you let go of the bullshit." Suddenly, he doesn't seem so trashed anymore. "It doesn't mean I'm on your side, but I'd go get my girl if I were you." A little alcohol never hurt anybody, right?
As I'm leaving his room, I stop and turn around. "Thanks for everything, but I have one thing to say to you." I roll my shoulders, expecting an argument. "If I ever catch you drinking and driving again, your ass is mine."
"Don't worry, Bro. I ain't goin' anywhere." He clears his throat, that faraway look I've become familiar with in his eyes. "I'm too damn sorry to die."
Chapter 35
I've never been to Collier, but my GPS says it's only two hours away. If you ask me, that's two hours too many. Quincy should be home, and I wish I could be there with her.
Me: Did you make it home OK?
LMP: Decided to stay here
What? She's still here in Knoxville? Fuck that. I'm going to get her. Now. I grab a cap and pull it down on my brow, shoving my feet into a pair of shoes. I'm already backing out of the drive when I text her. I'm not giving her a chance to back out.
Me: I'm on my way 2 get you
LMP: I'm staying in 2nite. No worries.
Me: I'm 5 min away. Meet u outside.
I don't know why, but I still can't shake the feeling that she's going to change her mind, and I'm afraid that if I give her enough time to think, she'll do just that. When I pull up in front of her dorm, I get out and lean against the Jeep to wait for her. If she puts up a fight, I'm going to throw her over my shoulder and put her in the Jeep myself.
My heart stutters when she bursts through the door, like she can't get to me quick enough. She looks around, spotting me, and runs into my arms. I allow her to take what she needs from me, holding her close while she needs it. Will I ever get used to her being my girl? Will I ever not look at her and want her with everything I have?
“Is everything Ok? Why didn’t you go home?” Don't get me wrong. I'm glad she stayed, but she's acting like something more is bothering her, and I don't just mean the Declan thing.
She shrugs her shoulders, as if to say nothing is wrong, and assures me, “I’m fine. I just didn’t feel like going home, you know?” I really wish she would open up to me, but pushing her would only cause her withdraw even more.
“I don’t want you to be alone. Come on. Jump in.” I reach up, palming her ass, giving her a boost into the Jeep. She's just so damn cute in her little yoga pants that I can't resist an opportunity to touch her. As soon as I turn on Neyland, her fingers tighten on her knees, and she sits straight up in the seat. Before she can protest, I tell her, “Don’t worry. They all went out to a club, and they won’t be in until late.” How fuckin' ironic. I always thought that once he knew, the lies would stop. Now, it's even worse.
“OK. Just for tonight, Brody. After tonight, no more sneaking.” As much as I hate to, I really am going to have to move out of the house. I'll work on finding an apartment over fall break.
In my room, Quincy
stretches her arms over her head, yawning, before she collapses on the end of the bed. After she chooses a movie, we lay together to watch it. Within minutes, she snuggles into my side, using my chest as a pillow. She yawns once more before her eyes drift closed and she falls asleep. There is just something so vulnerable about her that makes me want to hold her and protect her. Always.
Turning off the TV, I wrap my body around hers, pulling her into me. Her body fits against mine perfectly, changing me while also embracing me.
"Love you, babe," I whisper into her hair, inhaling her scent.
Lying here in the darkness, it's easy to convince myself that we are the only two people in the world, that no one can touch us. My last thought before I fall asleep is that things will work out. I will make sure of it.
Something wakes me up while it's still dark outside. It takes me a minute to realize what it is. Rolling over, I fish around on the nightstand until I find Quince’s phone. It’s her mom. This can’t be good.
“Quince.” I nudge her arm, but she tries to push me away. “Baby, your phone is ringing. It’s your mom.” Suddenly awake, she sits straight up in bed.
“She’s dead.” There is no emotion in her voice, her mind in a faraway place. What the hell? Even though her eyes are open, I think she's still asleep, maybe talking in her sleep.
“What? Babe, I think you were dreaming. Answer your phone.” There is an emptiness in her eyes I have never seen before. She looks at me without really seeing me.
Slowly, she reaches for her phone, staring at it for a moment before finally answering. She struggles to speak, gasping for every breath she takes before forcing out one agonizing word. “Mom?” I reach for the light, afraid of what I will see. Quincy’s eyes are closed, watching her own personal hell play out behind her eyelids. “No! Please, no!” The floodgates open, large tears rolling down her face, and I wrap my arms around her. “What happened?” She stiffens before folding in on herself. She moans in pain, a primal, animalistic sound I know I will hear over and over again in my mind from this day forward.