I wanted him. The truth was I had never stopped wanting him. And I hated so much that he and I were not meant to be. Because I knew, deep down, that we could be beautiful together. And that just made me sad.
“Why do you look like someone just ran over your cat?” Riley asked, sliding into the bar stool beside me. I plastered a smile on my face and leaned over to give her a one armed hug. She patted my back soothingly.
“I'm fine! Just waiting for your sorry ass to get back,” I teased. Jordan came back over then.
“Hey, Riley. What'll it be?” he asked her.
Riley shot me a look, as if to say she knew what caused my bleak expression. “Give me a g and t,” she said. Jordan quirked his lips at her.
“Ah, living large tonight?” he asked. Riley just rolled her eyes at him, not bothering to respond. Chuckling, he went about making her drink.
“When will you stop being all depressed over him? I thought you were over that?” Riley whispered after Jordan had brought her gin and tonic. My eyes followed Jordan as he went into the kitchen to get someone's order.
“I'm not depressed. And I am over that. So just shut up about it,” I snapped. Riley just raised her eyebrows and shook her head.
“Sure, you are,” she said flatly. I was about to say something else when I felt a pair of lips against the back of my neck.
I jumped and whipped around to see Eli standing there with Randall, Cicely and another one of their friends. Some guy they called K-dog. Though I wasn't sure why. “Hey! You made it!” I said overly brightly. I wrapped my arms around Eli's neck and gave him a hug.
Eli pulled up the stool on the other side of me and sat close. He laid his hand on the top of my thigh and kissed the corner of my mouth. “I told you I'd meet you here,” Eli replied, snaking his arm around my waist.
It was then that I noticed Jordan was standing in front of us. He had a dark look on his face and I saw him dart his eyes from Eli to me and to Eli's arm encircling my middle. I sat up a little straighter and eye balled him. No way was he permitted to look like that when it was he who had the girlfriend.
“Get me a Budweiser,” Eli told Jordan, not looking at him. Jordan's eyes met mine, his expression not happy.
“Yeah, sure.” Jordan turned from me and took Randall and Cicely's orders. Riley cleared her throat.
“This should be interesting,” she muttered, downing her drink.
“Whatever,” I replied flippantly, not wanting to admit that my stomach had suddenly tangled in knots.
Jordan slammed Eli's beer glass down on the bar and quickly walked away. “What the fuck?” Eli snarled, mopping up beer that had sloshed out of the mug. I laughed awkwardly and drank the rest of my own drink.
The next hour consisted of Eli and his friends getting lit and Eli spending the entirety of the time trying to get his hands up my shirt. On what planet had I thought meeting Eli here was a good idea? I glanced at Jordan periodically and he was looking more and more pissed off. I would catch him watching Eli as he tried to kiss me and then he would turn away, his shoulders tight.
I was about four drinks in when Eli put his lips to the side of my neck and flicked his tongue along my skin. “I think it's about time we get out of here,” he growled in my ear, his hand heavy on my upper thigh. I laughed a little uncomfortably and removed his fingers from my leg.
“I don't think either of us is driving anywhere,” I told him.
Eli's slobbery mouth moved to my chin and I tried not to cringe. He was a mess. “Well, I wanna go back to your place and fuck you senseless.” He removed his mouth and grinned suggestively. The whole thing was comical considering Eli could barely sit up straight and was swaying in his seat. Dear lord. It was suddenly hard to remember when I had found his drunken idiocy remotely attractive.
“Um...I don't think so. Let's just hang out for a while longer.” I did not want to go anywhere with him right now.
Eli tugged at the collar of my shirt, pulling it down so that the top of my bra showed. Crap, he was trying to give me a Janet Jackson moment! I shoved at his hands but he had already put his lips right above my barely covered breasts. This was deteriorating into bad amateur porn territory and fast. My face flushed hot in embarrassment as I tried to shove him off. “Get off, Eli. This is where I work! Not cool!” My voice was hard and I was getting very, very angry.
Eli laughed it off and continued to assault me with his mouth; the other people around the bar were openly staring at us with barely veiled disgust. “Get off, Eli!!!” I shoved at him again. One minute he was there and the next he was on the floor. The stool he had been sitting on toppled over and his beer glass shattered on the bar.
“Get the fuck away from her!” I heard a voice say dangerously low. I blinked in surprise to see Jordan standing over Eli, the veins on his neck noticeable. Eli sat up on his butt and sneered at Jordan.
“And what the hell are you gonna do about it?” Bad move, Eli. Jordan reached down and hauled Eli up to his feet and held him by the front of his shirt.
“I will shove my fist so far down your fucking throat that you'll be shitting my fingernails for a week. I believe she told you to back off. Now back the fuck off or I will throw your ass out, after I use your face as my punching bag. And I will enjoy every second of it.” Jordan gave Eli a little shake. Eli looked pale and was visibly retreating. Not that I blamed him, Jordan looked ready to kill.
Randall and Cicely were laughing their asses off and K-dog wasn't even paying attention. Nice friends there, I thought. Riley was looking conspicuously the other way. Eli's pride kicked in and he wrenched himself backwards out of Jordan's grip, stumbling a bit. He sort of swayed on his feet, too drunk to stand still. “Don't tell me what I can do with my girl,” he yelled. His girl? Since when? This seemed to set Jordan off even more and he started for Eli again.
That was it, I'd had enough. I jumped down off of my stool and got between them. I turned to Jordan and held my hands up. “Stop it, Jordan! I don't need you assaulting Eli. Go back to work. I can handle myself.” I was shaking from the adrenaline overload. I was pissed at Eli and I was pissed at Jordan. What the hell was with the He-Man show? I felt like a bone two dogs were fighting over. And it was seriously wrong. Jordan was still staring down Eli but then his eyes flickered to me. And I saw them soften marginally.
“Sorry, Mays,” he said quietly. My shoulders dropped but I didn't relax my defensive stance. “Just go back to work,” I told him tiredly. Jordan looked like he wanted to say something else but I turned away from him. I put my hand on Eli's arm.
“You okay?” I asked.
Eli pulled back from me. He was obviously still angry and probably pretty humiliated as well. And macho pride wasn't something you messed with. “I'm fine. But I need another beer.” He sat back down at the bar and waved down Lyla, who brought him another Bud. She looked at me with her eyebrows raised.
“Interesting night, huh?” she said, looking back at Jordan who was slamming glasses down onto a tray. I didn't bother to answer her. What was the use? We had just become a three ring circus. It was mortifying.
One thing definitely needed to happen, I had to get extremely drunk. So I slammed back two shots of tequila and ordered another beer. Jordan stayed away from me, so Lyla handled our drinks from there on out. I wouldn't look at him. I was too irritated by the earlier fight, and I didn't particularly want to talk to Eli either for causing the whole thing to begin with. With his groping hands and inability to take no for an answer. Luckily, his slobbery, amorous advances seemed to have cooled significantly and he spent most of his time with his back to me, talking to his friends.
A half an hour later, I realized I had to pee. I grabbed Riley's hand and dragged her to the bathroom with me. She had been suspiciously quiet after the Eli/Jordan smack down, which was highly unusual for her. “Go ahead. Say it,” I said after we stepped into the bathroom. Riley took down her pony tail and used her fingers to comb through her dark hair.
“What are
you talking about?” she asked innocently, glancing at me in the mirror.
“I can't believe you don't have some sort of witty commentary on the bullshit macho spectacle earlier.” I leaned back against the sink and crossed my arms over my chest. Riley laughed.
“Well, it was certainly something,” she said dryly with a sardonic grin.
“And that's it?” But the truth was, I actually wanted her insight into what was going on with Jordan. What he had done, that unexpected possessive aggression freaked me out. And not because he almost beat Eli to a bloody pulp.
“What do you want me to tell you? That Jordan is insanely crazy about you? To the point that he'll take down a room full of guys if they look at you funny? I don't need to tell you that, because you already know it.” I started to protest. But she gave me a look that shut me up.
“Stop playing stupid. He likes you. From the look on his face as he watched Eli maul you at the bar, I'd say he feels a lot more than like for you. I know you're hot for him. So I don't know what else to tell you. He has a girlfriend, Mays. Not just any girlfriend either. But one you know pretty darn well. I don't know what to tell you to do about that. I'm not even sure what I would do if I were in your shoes. But you definitely have yourself a situation here and you need to sort it out before you become collateral damage.” Riley ran her hands under the tap and grabbed a paper towel.
I followed her to the door. “Well, that wasn't even remotely helpful,” I joked. Riley laughed.
“Sorry chickadee. I'll work on my sage advice and figure on some sort of Dear Abby answer for you later,” she said. I patted her back.
“That would be greatly appreciated.” I chuckled as we left the bathroom, my mood already improving.
“Maysie, you got a minute?” I looked over to the door of the men's room and saw Jordan leaning against the wall. And my restored good mood evaporated just like that.
“I'll go keep the masses entertained,” Riley said and left us. Jordan pushed off the wall and walked toward me.
“I don't have anything to say to you, Jordan.” I felt wobbly on my feet and it had everything to do with the boy standing in front of me. But I tried really hard to keep my voice disinterested and my eyes cool. He scanned my face and I flushed an even brighter red.
“Well, I have stuff I need to say to you and you're going to listen,” Jordan's voice had an edge to it and I bristled at his audacity.
“Screw you, Jordan. I don't need to stand here and listen to your bullshit after the crap you pulled out there.” I jerked my head in the direction of the bar. I could see Eli talking to Randall. He apparently didn't realize I hadn't come back from the bathroom with Riley.
“Look, I'm sorry, Mays. I didn't mean to lose my cool like that. But he was touching you and I could tell you didn't want him to. And...well...fuck...he was touching you!” he said in an agonized tone. His obvious jealousy fueled my anger. I leaned into him and dropped my words to a whisper.
“And what's it to you?” Was that seductive voice mine? I licked my lips and saw Jordan's eyes drop to my mouth.
“Maysie.” His voice was husky and he moved in closer to me. I should back up, move away. This was everything I didn't want but everything I craved.
“Why should it matter to you what he was doing? You and I have nothing, are nothing. More to the point, there is no such thing as you and I!” I hissed. Then my shoulders relaxed and my gaze dropped to the floor. “You have a girlfriend, Jordan,” I said softly, my fury fizzling out the longer we stood close together in the dark space. That pull I always felt around him was back in full force and I placed my palm on his chest and felt the hammering of his heart beneath my palm. It was dim in the tiny hallway and I had a momentary flash of concern that someone would see us like this. Because we didn't look very innocent, nearly pressed body to body as though we needed each other to breathe.
“It matters to me, Mays. It matters a lot. I don't like seeing some other guy touching you. Not when it should be me touching you.” His hand slithered up my side, until he was cupping the back of my neck. I wanted to say something about Olivia. I wanted to yell at him for continuing to mess with my head like this. “I hated him calling you 'his girl.' Because I want you all to myself,” he dropped his voice into a seductive growl.
At that moment all I could think about was the fact that Jordan's lips were moving toward mine. “I want to kiss you. More than I've ever wanted anything,” he murmured, stopping just shy of my mouth. I held my breath, waiting for him to make a move because I was too scared to do anything. I was terrified of this irresistible force that was building between us. And then I shocked us both.
“Then do it,” I whispered, licking my bottom lip in anticipation. Something sparked in Jordan's eyes a split second before he slammed his mouth down on mine. He pushed me back into an alcove, pressing my back against the wall.
His traced his tongue along the seam of my lips and I opened them, allowing him access. Inviting him. Welcoming him. His tongue plunged inside and I made a noise deep in the back of my throat that sounded an awful lot like a whimper. Jordan's hands dropped down to cup my ass and haul me up against him. I could feel his erection against my leg as our mouths mated with one another.
My hands slid up under his shirt and my nails dug into his back. Jordan moaned into my mouth, his lips becoming more frenzied. His kiss more urgent. I wanted him to drag me to the floor and have his way with me. I wanted to feel him buried deep inside me and yelling my name.
What I wanted obviously didn't matter, because we were suddenly interrupted by a group coming to the bathrooms. The girls chuckled as they caught sight of us tangled up in each other. I pulled my mouth away from Jordan's and tried to push him back with trembling hands, only gaining a few inches of separation.
“We can't do this,” I whispered unsteadily. Jordan's breathing was ragged and he rubbed his hand over his face. Then he stared at me and moved his hand so it ran down the length of my cheek.
“I've never felt this way about anyone. Ever,” he told me. The heat in his eyes had simmered down and now all I saw was tenderness. And that scared me a hell of lot more than the passion from just moments before.
“Not even with Olivia?” I cringed internally, hating myself for bringing her name into this. But I needed to. It had to be dealt with. Jordan needed to be reminded that what we were doing was behind his girlfriend's back. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. Our noses rubbed against each other and I didn't have the strength to move away from him. He held me captive.
“Yes. Even with Olivia. Maysie, I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend I've been with for three goddamn years.” I felt tears burn my eyes as the nasty reality of the situation I found myself in washed over me. Because hell if I wasn't falling for him. And falling hard.
Jordan opened his eyes and looked at me as he grabbed my face between his hands and held me perfectly still, not letting me move. “But tell me, Mays, why is it that all I can fucking think about is you? Why am I so eager to take another guy's head off for touching you? Why is it when I lay in bed at night I wish it was you there beside me?” he demanded almost angrily, his words causing my heart to skip a beat. His fierce expression then relaxed into that beautiful tenderness again.
“Come home with me tonight. Please. Let's figure all this out...together,” Jordan pleaded, his hands sliding down my face until they rested on either side of my neck. They felt so warm, so natural there. Slowly, he leaned in to kiss me again.
God I wanted to go home with him. I wanted to forget that there even was an Olivia. But there was an Olivia. And she would be home in a week. And he would go back to her. And I would become a shameful, dirty secret to be forgotten. Jordan would most likely feel guilty and what if he told Olivia about me? Where would that leave me?
I would lose my sorority, my new friends, the life I had created for myself at Rinard. I was pretty damn sure that I was just a passing fling to Jordan Levitt. A flash in the pan. I was also pretty
damn sure that he didn't feel the same depth of emotion for me that I was starting to feel for him. Sure he was attracted to me. We had this undeniable physical chemistry. Chemistry that was impossible to ignore. But that didn't equate to anything resembling love. And I think I wanted that. No, I knew I wanted that. And that frightened me. A lot.
I also knew, without a doubt, that he would crush my heart. Destroying my soul, my will, my entire being. And I couldn't let that happen.
So I finally forced myself to push him away. Jordan looked hurt as I shoved his chest with my hands. “No, Jordan. I won't go home with you. I won't go anywhere with you. This can never happen again,” I told him firmly, feeling our separation like a physical ache. A new emptiness. A hollow sense of loss for what could never be.
The fire in Jordan's eyes dimmed until it was as though it had never existed at all. “But I thought...” Jordan started, trying to reach for me again. I held up my hand to stop him.
“I don't care what you thought. This thing going on between you and me ends here, tonight. You are not going to do this to Olivia. I know you love her.” Swallowing hard as the words got stuck in my throat. I felt sick.
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