“Yeah, we were awesome, now we’re all grown up and boring.”
I sigh my reply, “That we are.”
“So, did he play well?”
“Yes, Dante was so proud. He’s passed out now.”
“And what does Mommy think?”
“I think he’s an incredible athlete. And nothing more.”
“Girl, you’re lying to yourself. Has he talked to you anymore about, you know, since Halloween?”
“No. And it’s for the best.”
“Uh huh.”
“Parker, I’m serious. It’s a bad idea. What if it doesn’t work? How will that affect Dante? This would make an already complicated situation even worse.”
“So, you’re saying you want to give him a shot, but won’t because of your common bond, which just so happens to be the best reason to try.”
“It was so awesome seeing him in his element tonight. I’m a little dazzled, but at the end of the day, he’s still the same old dog, same tricks.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Brett’s doing well, thank you.”
“Yeah? Great,” she spouts dryly.
“Why don’t you like him?”
“He seems to be taking his sweet assed time wooing you. That’s not sitting well with me.”
“It’s an adult relationship. And to be honest, my first real one.”
“Well, give me fireworks and passion over that bullshit any day. It sounds truly boring.”
“It’s not. It’s comfortable.”
“Whatever you say. Kampi!” I can hear the clink of her bottle as she pours and then swallows.
“Isn’t that Japanese?”
“Yep.”
“Babe, you do realize you’re in China, right?”
“Yep. But the cities are getting blurry now. One of these days you’re going to have to come with me on one of these adventures.”
“I will.”
“Okay, I’m going to finish this bottle and see if I can turn this day into a segue for something better, maybe like in Lost in Translation, where I end up with the love of my life in a karaoke bar while we party with complete strangers and do strange things.”
“Do it, babe, I have all the faith.”
“Yeah, and do yourself a favor and bone your neighbor, because you’re missing out on the best sex of your life.”
“No.”
“Fine.”
“Love you. Don’t Sake and drive.”
“You know I won’t. Konnichiwa!”
I giggle. “Still Japanese, Parker. And I think that means hello.”
“What’s your point?”
Troy
I ride the high my whole drive home, eager to try and catch Dante before he goes to sleep. I send off a last-minute text to Clarissa just before I head into our neighborhood in hopes she can keep him awake just a few minutes longer. My phone rings, and I answer without checking to see who it is, my smile already in place. She doesn’t bother saying hello, but dives right in.
“Wooo weee, boy, I’m so damned proud of you. You killed it tonight.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I texted you to see if you wanted to celebrate with Luis and me. He wanted to buy you a beer.”
“Sorry, I got caught up in the post-game and just wanted to shower and get home.”
“So, no party tonight?”
“Plenty of them, but I’m opting out.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I’ve got something better in mind.” Instead of picturing Dante’s reception, I see Clarissa on the Jumbotron, dressed in a Grand hoodie and matching beanie, holding our son close. She was glowing, her smile stretched across her face, and something inside of me flipped the minute I saw them.
“So, what’s the big plan?”
Win her.
“Just going to take it easy.”
“The news is highlighting the game now.”
“No shit?”
“Yeah! They’re talking about you, son! HEY, RECORD THAT!”
“On it,” I hear Luis reply. “Good job, Troy,” he says by way of conversation. Luis is soft-spoken and treats Mom like gold, we aren’t exactly best friends, but we’re friendly. As long as he treats her well, we have no issues.
“Tell him I said thanks.”
“I will, and you’re getting drafted,” she adds proudly. “I know it.”
“Let’s hope so. Then I can finally buy your dream house.”
“I’m happy here.”
“You’ll be happier on that front porch you’ve been dreaming about. Keep dreaming, Mom. I’m going to give it to you.”
“You earned that. I wouldn’t take a dime from you. I hope you know I don’t expect that.”
“What’s the fun of becoming rich if you can’t spoil the people you love?”
“You’re going to make some lucky lady very happy one day.”
“Hope so.”
“Oh, you will.”
Clarissa’s scowl crosses my mind, and I can’t help my chuckle.
“Yeah, well, I have a feeling she won’t come easy.”
“You’ve met her already?” Her voice lifts, hopeful. She’s been hard on me growing up, especially when it comes to the ladies. I’m nowhere near ready to deal with the confrontation that’s coming once I reveal the truth but decide to use her mood to start the process.
“Mom, there’s something I need to tell you. Something that—”
My words are cut short when I pull into my drive and see Clarissa wrapped around her boyfriend. They’re kissing and not in a friendly way. Every bit of my high evaporates when I see her grab his hand and pull him inside.
“You there? Troy?”
“Yeah, I, shit Mom, something’s come up. I’ll have to call you back.”
“You okay?”
“Fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Just keep those good thoughts coming, okay?”
I run a hand over my jaw as Clarissa’s porch light clicks off.
“What happened, you were just chipper. Who pissed in your Cheerios?”
“Nothing. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Love you. Proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Is she about to sleep with him? With Dante in the house? I can’t say shit, I would’ve gladly taken a side of her bed if she’d given me the opportunity on Halloween.
Resisting the urge to shoot off another text, I white knuckle my wheel. The hardest part of wanting what you can’t have is the realization it might not ever be yours. And that’s where I am, swallowing the verdict after years of the same woman closing the door in my face.
Jealousy for the man who’s taking what I desperately want courses through me, my eyes burn as I keep them fixed on the house I want so much to call home, the family inside to claim as my own.
The idea of what’s going on behind that door is ripping at me, and there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it. Her mind’s been made up for years, and I’m the one who needs to face facts. I have got to let it go.
Clarissa: I’ve got company. See you in the morning?
The burn inside my chest worsens as I raise my phone to my ear and put my truck in reverse.
Kevin answers on the second ring.
“Sup?”
“Where are you?”
Jennifer’s Sausage Dip
Biologist, Montana
Makes 10 servings
30 minutes
2 Lbs. Sausage
1 Lb. Jalapeno Velveeta
1 Lb. Velveeta
1 Envelope Garlic Dressing Mix (May use garlic powder.)
1 Can Evaporated Milk
Brown sausage until no longer pink. Drain. **Place all other ingredients in a saucepan. Heat on low until cheese melts. Stir sausage into cheese mixture.
Serve with tortilla chips.
**Time saver—Cheese and other ingredients can be combined in a microwave dish.
Clarissa
I’m two si
ps into my morning coffee when I see Theo angrily bound down the steps of his house before throwing an instrument case in his back seat. Seconds later, Troy is in front of him, his posture deflated.
“Jesus, man. I had no idea.”
“Of fucking course, you didn’t,” Theo says in disgust.
“I don’t know what to say. I fucked up.”
“Did you even talk to her? Do you ever really talk to any of them?” Troy hangs his head as Theo lays into him. “If you would have spent more than five fucking minutes luring her into your bed, you might have been able to connect the dots. Instead, you’ve fucked my ex!”
Eyes wide, I try to muffle the sound of my coffee going down the wrong pipe as Troy speaks up. “Tell me what to do to make this right.”
“You can’t do anything.” Theo snaps, and briefly, I fear he may take a swing at Troy, which could be disastrous.
“That girl meant everything to me, for years, and you fuck her and treat her like she’s disposable. Can’t you see how wrong that is?”
Troy’s voice is hoarse when he speaks. “Tell me what to do.”
“How about you grow the fuck up a little?”
“It was a mistake.”
“No, hell no,” Theo corrects. “You don’t get to claim that. That was intentional. She was my mistake. To you, she was just last night.”
A beautiful blonde moves onto the porch, tears streaming down her face as Theo slams his car door and studies her briefly before tearing out of the driveway. Instantly I hate her for the rift she’s caused. I’m not allowed to be jealous, but I am, I’m swimming in it. Did she knowingly sleep with Troy to hurt Theo? If I have to judge by the devastation on her face, it seems it was a random hookup, and the realization has taken all three of them by surprise, Troy more so as he stands there staring after his roommate seeming lost. He glances toward my house and straightens when he sees me frozen on my porch watching it unfold. I have no idea what expression I’m wearing. Troy stares at me for long seconds before walking back up to the porch and ushering the blonde inside before slamming his front door.
Is he angry with me? I’m not to blame for this damned drama. Once again, his dick got him into a mess that goes beyond a casual hookup. Will he ever learn? Minutes later, I’m on my second cup of coffee when the blonde, no longer dressed in Troy’s jersey, is escorted to her car. Her face is splotchy from her tears. She didn’t mean to do it. She’s no victim, but what happened wasn’t intentional on either of their parts. Theo couldn’t see it, or maybe he could, and was too furious to care. All three of them are in this situation because of circumstance, I’m sure of it. I’m also confident that Theo and Troy’s relationship won’t ever be the same. I feel for Troy as he stands there staring after the girl who’s pulling out of his driveway with a lot more morning after baggage than she bargained for.
“Are you okay?” I ask Troy as he turns to me, his eyes cold, distant. It stings me in a way I’m not prepared for.
“Don’t you have a son to tend to? Anything else you could be doing?”
“Hey, I live here. You’re the one with your drama spilling out into the street.”
He stalks across the lawn, and I fight myself not to step back. He’s pissed at himself, at his shitty decision making, but I’m not about to be his punching bag. I ready myself because I’ve never seen him so angry.
“You satisfied?”
“What?”
“Are you fucking satisfied? You got enough ammo this morning to last you some time, sweetheart. You wanted it? There you go. You were waiting for something to hold against me, to prove you’re right about what a piece of shit I am. Happy?”
“Stop it. I saw what went down. You didn’t mean to hurt him. I’m not going to condemn you for a mistake.”
“Are you serious right now? You’ve been holding the same mistake over my head for six fucking years. The next time you get pissed off, I’m sure this will come up.”
“I’m pissed off now.”
“Nothing new.”
“Hey, you know what, you ass? I was young once too. I’ve been there, I’ve dealt with drama. I’m glad those days are over for me, but don’t piss on me because you made a mistake.”
“Goddamn right I did,” he grumbles, turning his back on me.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Carry on. Nothing more to see here.”
“Hey, Troy, why don’t you try the adult version of dating? It’s a lot easier, fewer casualties.”
He turns back to me, clenching his fists.
“Yeah? Is that where your boy toy comes over at the end of the night and pretends what you have is real?”
“What?”
“I saw you bring him in last night. It was nearly eleven. Tell me, did he tell you where he was before he decided to come over and get some?”
“That’s none of your—”
“My son is in there!”
“Keep your voice down,” I choke out. “And don’t make your drama mine.”
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he left before Dante woke up. He’s not in it for him.”
“Stop it. He stopped by for an hour or so and has a meeting with a client this morning. And no, I don’t want Dante meeting him yet. You see, in a mature relationship, we take all feelings into consideration on all sides.”
He shakes his head as if I’m clueless. “You’re fooling yourself with this guy.”
“Hey,” I snap, all patience evaporated as I take angry steps toward him. “In an adult relationship, it’s a one at a time process, you know, easy to remember the name of the person you’re dating. Sex is gradual. There’s no one and done, Troy. In the adult version, you take the time to get to know the person, make sure your goals match because you’re well versed on what you do, and do not want. And me? Well, over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to date an adolescent who’s got an agenda just to fuck me. I’ll never be any man’s breadcrumbs! I want to date a man worthy of my time, attention, and my son, who means more to me than any piece of ass! I put Dante first and make sure I don’t put him in the position to question the exit of a different stranger every morning. That’s the difference! The men I date don’t use women and toss them away the next day.”
“At least they’re aware of it, not playing stupid.”
My eyes water with that blow. “You bastard.”
He shrugs. “Just being real, honest. That’s what you want, right?”
“You want real and honest, how about this? This little spectacle is why I could never take you seriously! You’re a child, Troy, playing a man, and I see right through it because I was raised by one!”
Troy visibly flinches as Dante sounds up from behind the screen door.
“Mommy?”
Our son looks fearfully between the two of us, confusion covering his features. “Why are you yelling at Troy?”
“I was bad,” Troy speaks up immediately before closing his eyes and exhaling a breath. “I was really bad.” Snapping my eyes to his, I see the regret cloaking him as he addresses Dante. “I let my temper get the best of me and said some things that weren’t nice. Things that I shouldn’t have said. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I’m going to put myself in a timeout. I’m sorry,” he says to me pointedly, and all I can do is nod.
And with that, he stalks toward his house and slams the door behind him.
Troy
It’s been a shit long week. I’m embarrassed I showed my ass that way to Clarissa. She’s barely met my eyes over my morning breakfast with Dante. Twice I’ve tried to apologize and twice she’s made an excuse to leave the room. I’m a pariah in my own house as well, the tension between the walls thick. Theo’s not speaking to me, which is understandable. My apologies mean shit to everyone around me. And Theo and I aren’t the only brooding sacks to occupy the house.
Lance is more isolated than ever, constantly trapped in his room, waiting for the bomb to drop. Though my current situation
is shit, I can’t help but be grateful that I’m not in his shoes.
His expression is grim this morning as we pass each other on the stairs. “Hey man, what’s good?”
“Not a fucking thing. You?”
“Same.”
Last night we suffered a debilitating loss, and I feel like my future is slipping through my fingers. It’s easy to see Lance feels the same.
“Fuck that asshole,” Lance says, reading my mind.
“What coach in the history of fucking ever lets his personal life interfere with his career?”
“I don’t know what’s going on,” he runs a hand down his jaw, “but there’s got to be more to it.”
“I can’t believe he’s willing to throw a season over this. We need to win.”
“You and me both.”
Lance is my opposite, the dark to my light, tattoo clad, more menacing in appearance. Inside he’s mostly heart, and this conclusion I’ve come to with just the short interactions between us. I’d fumbled into discovering what makes him tick, and we aren’t so different. Lance doesn’t judge, and if there’s one thing I know, he would keep my secrets just as safe as I have his.
He seems to weigh my expression and my stinking desperation, and I can feel the tension rolling off of him.
For the first time in six years, I’m ready to confess, in need of an outsider’s perspective.
“Hey man, you want to get out of here and grab a beer?”
Lance nods. “You read my mind.”
Loretta’s Dump Cake
Police Officer, Army Brat, US
Makes 12 servings
1 hour
1 Large Can Crushed Pineapple – Well drained
2 Cans Cherry Pie Filling
1 Yellow Cake Mix
1/2 Cup Chopped Nuts
2 Sticks Margarine
Grease 9x13 baking dish. Add cherry pie filling and spread evenly in pan. Top with pineapple. DO NOT MIX. Sprinkle dry cake mix over fruit and top with nuts. Melt margarine and pour on top of cake mix.
The Underdogs: The Complete Series Page 39