“Cute.”
“Just, do me a favor and look at the email.”
“Now?”
He nods.
“Okay.”
I pull my laptop from my chair and see that he did send an email a few minutes before he knocked on the door. I click on the listing, and my eyes bulge.
“Troy, that’s entirely too much house.”
“But it’s beautiful, right? Look, it has a blue door. Dr. Seuss blue, but we can paint it purple.”
“Troy, I don’t expect you to take care of me.”
“I want to. Whatever amount I get, I know damn well I can afford this house. As of next week, I’m a rich man. I want this for Dante and for you. Please,” he kneels down before me. “Just tell me you’ll consider it. I’ll get something close.”
And with that statement, I feel he’s closed the door on us. I try to hide the hurt as I look over at him.
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course.” He lifts one side of his mouth. “It’s crazy, I worked for it for years and years, but I never thought the day would come. I hoped and prayed, but I never thought it would actually happen. Pro ball, Clarissa. It’s insane.”
“You made it happen. You’re an amazing player.”
He shakes his head as I linger on the fact that he’s no longer mine.
“Troy, what about your…personal life? Don’t you eventually want to start a family?”
He leans down and presses his lips to my temple before pulling away, his eyes penetrating mine. “I started my family seven years ago. Goodnight.”
Clarissa
Dante exits the ride all smiles as he runs toward me with Troy on his heels. “That one wasn’t scary at all.”
“You did good,” I say as they join Parker and me where we wait by the ticket booth.
“I’m ready for that,” Dante points to the mile-high cage ride that flips twenty times within a minute, and Troy, Parker, and I all shake our heads in agreement. We’ve been at it for a few hours and covered most of the carnival. After our resounding no to his request to ride adult rides, he’s dragging us all to the dollar games.
Troy picked the three of us up earlier this morning, and it’s been all smiles and niceties. I’ve been caught staring at him a few times today, making me feel like a damned love-sick fool. Parker’s elbowed me twice to keep me from completely humiliating myself.
Feeling this way is slowly killing me inside. As soon as Dante’s bedroom light is off, Troy leaves, leaving me alone in the house to miss him. Ever present, he’s kept things painfully platonic. This man, who invaded my life nine months ago with promises I was completely unsure he would keep, promises I hoped with all my heart he would, for my son, and now admittedly, for me, is ruling my heart and mind. I can’t push myself past the new normal. I can’t for the life of me accept it. I’m losing my mind trying to find a way not to feel so much, not to want him the way I do. I’m so deep, I’ll never be able to find my way out.
I can’t unlove Troy Jenner. He’s made it impossible.
“Plans for this summer?” Parker looks between us as Dante tries his hand at the ring toss.
“I just got a call back at one of the real estate firms I applied for,” I say as Troy’s eyes flick to mine in surprise. “You passed?”
“Yes. I took it last week.”
“That’s awesome. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just…” I trail off. Didn’t think you cared? Because it’s one of the reasons why you’re still pissed at me? Instead of voicing those thoughts, I remain mute as he studies me.
“Can I try again?” Dante asks as Troy and Parker both pull out the cash.
I roll my eyes as Parker smirks with victory, giving Dante a twenty. “Fill her up.”
Troy gives her the win turning back to me. “So, you took the job?”
“I applied for it before…” I trail off again as Parker perks up.
“Before what?” She looks between us, and I widen my eyes at Troy in warning. I don’t want Parker blowing a gasket in the middle of a carnival about the possibility of us moving. She’ll give every temperamental three-year-old in a one-mile radius a run for their money.
“Vacation,” I say, saving both our asses. “I can’t take a new job and then ask for vacation. We were thinking right after Troy’s graduation.”
“Oh, yeah?” Parker says. “Where?”
Dante looks up to me. “Yeah, where?”
“I thought I would let Daddy decide.”
Troy’s eyes, still on me, soften considerably, and I shrug. “I mean, if you have time.”
“I’ll make time.”
Parker’s eyes ping pong between us.
“We’ve never been anywhere,” I say, ruffling Dante’s hair.
“Stop that, Mommy, I have gel in.”
“Not for my lack of trying,” Parker gripes indignant. “I’ve been trying to get us on vacation for years.”
“You’ll be coming with us,” Troy says, without missing a beat.
Parker turns to him. “Ah, will you buy me a pony too, rich athlete?”
“I would like a pony too,” Dante says seriously.
“No ponies,” he says, his eyes trailing over me in a look that’s anything but platonic. I shiver, and Troy’s lips lift in recognition before he pulls his son away from the money pit and hauls him on his shoulders. “Where should we go?”
“Disney?” Dante suggests.
“Maybe,” Troy says, absently glancing over at me. “When will you know if you’re taking the job?”
“Soon,” I promise as we exchange another look. I’m seriously considering the move despite the state of our relationship. I don’t want either one of them suffering without the other. Also, I don’t want the distance away from Troy.
“Oh, it’s the blue kind!” Dante says, pointing to a nearby concession stand. “Can I have one?”
“You just had a pushup, bud.”
“It’s the fair,” Parker scolds. “He should have one of everything.”
“True,” Troy says, looking over to me, seeking permission.
“Up to you.”
“Come on,” Parker insists, forever the doting ‘yes’ aunt.
A minute later, and after twenty questions, Dante stands on the table as a man guides his arm to catch the sweet fluffy cotton. Dante’s smile is breathtaking. He’s still somewhere between a baby and a boy, and it both hurts my heart and fills me with pride.
“Hey, man, there’s a line back here,” a guy grumbles from behind us.
Dante looks over to where the man stands, his smile fading slightly. Troy is the first to speak, turning back.
“You’ll get your turn. He’s almost got the hang of it. Chill out.”
“Seriously? He’s not getting the hang of it. Sometime today, guy.”
Troy glares back at the man, nothing but warning in his eyes.
“Troy, don’t,” I whisper.
Parker speaks up. “Are you really going to be that jerk that deprives a kid of a good time?”
The guy scours Parker’s appearance, a smug smirk on his face. He looks to be in his mid-twenties and straight off the set of a rerun of Jersey Shore. “I see you talking, but all I hear is moo, moo, moo, moo, moo. I mean, are you really one to talk about deprivation? It looks like you haven’t deprived yourself of a meal ever.”
My breath catches in my throat as Troy’s fist slams into his face, and he goes down in a wordless heap.
Gasps sound around us as Troy throws a twenty on the table, grabs a bag of ready cotton candy, lifts his son from where he stands motionless, and calmly walks away. Stunned, Parker and I silently follow him out of the carnival and into the parking lot.
“Sorry, bud,” Troy says to Dante, securing him into his seat.
“Can you teach me how to punch?” Dante askes, his eyes still wide, his face stained with the blue cotton candy.
Troy sighs. “I shouldn’t have done that. You know that, right? It’s not
okay to hit.”
“I’m glad you punched him. He was mean to Auntie Parker.”
“That’s not what you do,” Troy says, clicking his seatbelt. He hands him a bottled water from the cooler he’d made, full of Dante’s favorite snacks. Too shocked to speak, I pile into the truck next to him while Parker, just as speechless, climbs in next to Dante.
“I’m sorry we had to leave,” Troy offers to everyone in the truck before turning the ignition.
“It’s okay, Daddy. You’re not the bad guy,” Dante says, assuring his father of the truth as I try not to lose my shit sitting next to him.
The ride home is filled with Dante’s musings on the situation. Troy patiently answers all of his questions as I reach back, holding out my hand for Parker, who I know, is quietly crying behind me, humiliated.
She squeezes my hand and lets go as I sit helpless, wanting to talk to her, to tell her she’s beautiful. To tell her misery loves company, and that bastard saw happiness and confidence, not her weight. It was her light he wanted to dim.
But I can’t because I’ll only embarrass her further. The tension is palpable as Troy pulls in the driveway and turns back to address Parker after throwing his truck into park. His beautiful blue eyes sincere as he speaks.
“The first thing I thought when I looked at you, aside from fear you would rip me to shreds, was that you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen and the face to match. That’s the first thing I thought about you, Parker. It’s the truth. You’re beautiful. Truly. So please don’t let that asshole make you feel differently.” And with that, he gets out of the truck, collects his son, and makes his way toward the house.
Mouth gaping, I turn back to see Parker smiling through her tears. “And this is the man you didn’t want raising your son?” She looks back the way Troy retreated and then turns to me. “You think I have a shot with him?”
Tears gather in my eyes. “I’m so in love with him.”
“Well, that definitely puts a kink in my plans.”
“Do you think I still have a chance?”
“I saw the way he looked at you today. That’s not infatuation, Clarissa.”
“Parker, would you—”
“On it.”
She hops out of the truck and makes a beeline for Troy, taking Dante from his arms before kissing Troy’s cheek and walking Dante to her car. Troy stares on in disbelief turning back to me, his posture deflated, he walks into the house, the screen door slapping behind him. I follow on his heels, as he stands in the living room, his back to me, fuming, no doubt doing a mental count to ten, before he turns to me, arms crossed.
“Was that really necessary? I apologized. I know that wasn’t the right thing to—what are you doing?”
I drop my purse and slowly lift my T-shirt before unfastening my bra.
Troy watches on, the confusion in his eyes turning into heated curiosity.
“You once told me it’s not a story if you give up.” Unsure if this is seduction or idiocy, I exhale my fears and slowly let one side of my bra fall down my shoulder, then the other, before pulling the tie from my hair.
“Clarissa, don’t.” I can hear the pain in his voice, his conflict, as I slowly start to unbuckle my jeans. “I’m going out of my mind. I want us back. And I’ve been a fool, but I can’t handle this anymore. I want this story. I want our story, this life with you so much it’s killing me. I’m not afraid to bare myself to you. You once said you would give me everything if I gave you all of me. I’m hoping that’s still the truth. Because this is all of me. My body, my heart, my life. It’s—”
“Clarissa, stop!”
Undeterred by the bite of his rejection, I seize the moment. It’s my time to prove I will fight for him, as he has for me. It’s time to show him that words aren’t a fool’s gold when spoken from the right heart.
I love him. I believe in him. I believe in us, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make him see what I do, a future, together.
Love requires a little bit of idiocy and a hell of a lot of bravery, and I’ll be the fool for him.
“No, Troy, I’m not afraid anymore,” I shake my head pushing my jeans over my hips just as he charges me, and a sharp knock sounds on the door behind me.
“UPS!”
“Jesus Christ!” I shriek as I turn to see the man look up from his screen and into the living room with a clear view of my thong clad ass and bare love tassels. Troy’s already in front of me, blocking the man’s view before slamming the door in his face.
Troy hangs his head, shaking it with a light chuckle. “What are the fucking odds?”
On the other side of the door, we hear, “Troy, uh, hey man, I’m going to need a signature before I can leave this here.”
Troy sighs, glancing back at me, cowering on the couch, blanket covering me to my neck before he opens the door and signs for the package. “How you doing, George?”
“Not nearly as good as you.”
“Do me a favor, and don’t mention this.”
George replies breezily. “Never saw a thing.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Better not keep her waiting,” George says with a chuckle as I melt between the couch cushions.
Troy shuts the door and turns to me with a million-dollar smile as I shrink under my throw. “That did not go as planned.”
“And when have plans ever been in our favor?”
“We just can’t win, huh?”
He kneels down in front of me. “You were saying?”
I cover my face with my hands, too embarrassed to look up. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Yes, we are,” he says softly before scooping me in his arms. “Mom says we’ll grow out of it by the time we’re forty.”
“Good to know.”
I look up at him, his scent hitting me as he slowly carries me toward my bedroom. “I love you. It’s that simple and that complicated. I want to fight with you, and make up with you, and go to sleep with you, and wake up with you, and raise kids with you. And only with you. I miss you so much.” I press my lips against the hollow of his throat. “You think we’ll ever get our shit together?”
“Probably not.”
“We’re hopeless.”
“Perfect fucking mess,” he says softly, setting me in front of my bed, brushing my hair back from my shoulders.
“Forgive me, Troy. Please.”
“I already have.”
I slide my panties down my legs and stand completely nude in the bright light of day, my heart beating wildly as I stare at the man who spent months capturing my son’s heart and wholly taking mine in the process.
“You’ve bared yourself to me in a hundred ways since you came into my life. I’ve fallen for every side of you, good and bad, I want it all. I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t. But I do respect you, Troy, more than you’ll ever know. I’ve never been more certain about any man. I trust you completely, and I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll earn you. I’m begging you not to give up. If you still want—”
“One question.”
“Anything.” I rasp out eagerly.
“What took you so long?” he says gruffly before he crushes our mouths together.
Our tongues duel hungrily as he grips my ass in his hands and squeezes so hard, I gasp into his mouth. He closes our kiss and pulls away, his arms pinning me to him. “I’ve missed you too, so fucking much,” he whispers before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips, “you’re all I see, all I can feel. I tried so hard to get over you, but I couldn’t, I never will. I’ll fight with you, I’ll make up with you, go to sleep and wake up with you, Dr. Seuss,” he chuckles, as my cheeks heat, my tears spilling over, “I’ll give you five babies,” he grunts, as I pull at his shorts before gripping his thick dick in my hands.
“Two,” I protest.
“Three.”
“Negotiations are now open,” he beams down at me. “You were hard-earned and well-worth it, I wanted to earn this, to earn you.” He slides his hands up my
sides, caressing me, covering me with his muscular touch. “But I needed you in the same place. We had to be in the same place.”
I press my forehead to his and nod. “I love you.”
“God, I must have dreamed this a thousand times,” he murmurs, taking bites of my neck, my chest, soothing the sting with his lips before bringing his hungry mouth back to mine.
I pump him in my hand as he kisses me with a surety we both share.
Some things have to be learned over time, but the only thing I know for sure is, this man and I belong together. All I can do is be thankful at this point for every trial that led us back to each other. Though our timing was horribly off, fate made us so in the form of a little boy, the spitting image of his father, and our guiding light.
The minute my back touches the mattress, he uses the movement to thrust against me, our collective gasps filling the room. Eyes locked, he rears back, before lining himself up and slowly pushing inside me. I grip his shoulders, widening my legs as he fills me slowly, inch by inch.
“Fucking worth it,” he murmurs. “Every fight, every struggle, the wait, the pain, the ache, loving you, needing you, wanting you, missing you—all of it—worth it to get us to this point, right here.”
Rearing back, he keeps us connected, eyes and lips, before filling me fully. My back bows off the mattress as he draws back, and thrusts in again so deep he steals my breath. We’re somewhere between fucking and making love, and all I can do is moan out his name.
His eyes devour me, leaving nothing untouched until he again pulls back, his stare fixed on where we connect.
We’ve deprived ourselves of each other for so long, in more ways than one, and this is an act of completion on the same level. There’s no turning back. I don’t want to know what life is like without Troy Jenner, ever again.
“Troy,” I whimper as he pins my hands and thrusts into me, the headboard thumping against the wall.
“Look at us,” he growls as he drives in again. I revel in the feel, in the filthy and beautiful sight of us connecting. It’s then we go feral, tongues tasting, hands exploring, skin slapping, slick while he fucks me wildly, and I match his thrusts. After a few deep drives, he pulls back and places one hand on my stomach the other beneath my ass and flips me so easily a giggle comes out of me, until he steals it away by driving in deep as I lay on my stomach. He pins me to the mattress, his hands on my hips as he rolls into me, so deep all I can do is cry out his name.
The Underdogs: The Complete Series Page 57