The lawn leading from the house finally ended with a row of tall hollies. We took the old path that led us to the railroad tracks. Abel helped me step along the pine crossties then over the rails. The path resumed on the other side.
“My sister and I used to come down here all the time.”
“Yes, I remember,” Abel responded.
I looked at him. His cheeks were beginning to chap in the chilly breeze. “Is there anything you don’t know about me?”
“Well, I didn’t follow you when you went to college.”
“That’s good. At least I do have a few secrets.” Although I had few tales to tell since weighing well over two hundred pounds meant I wasn’t invited out very often.
Soon the path led us to the old footbridge we used to cross when we were children. The railings were gone and the boards looked flimsy.
“Not to worry.” Abel wrapped both arms around me from behind.
I looked down at the slow-moving canal beneath me. At this time of year, the water would be very cold, but with Abel I never doubted I’d fall as he made sure to guide me to the surer of the boards. Then we heard the fast-moving waters of the James.
“Regina and I used to go out into the water here.” I pointed to a place where the water swished between two rocks, making bubbles run around the edges. “We liked the feeling of the cold water whipping by our ankles. Sometimes we’d sit on the rocks so we’d feel like we’d be pulled downstream. It was right here.”
“I know. I used to hold you so you wouldn’t be swept away.”
I stopped walking and looked at him. He was a man I had few secrets from. “How could you have liked me as a child? I must have been terribly spoiled the way my father doted on me.”
He tilted his head back and narrowed his eyes as if remembering. “That’s not true. You suffered from your mother’s absence and even from a tender age, you knew your father’s lack of affection for Regina was wrong.”
“I guess it was instinctive. She was my younger sister and it was my job to protect her, but I couldn’t make Daddy love her.” I felt that same old feeling of helplessness at not being able to fix what needed to be fixed.
“It wasn’t your job to, either.” He pulled me closer.
I gazed into his eyes. They were so kind and sincere.
“You’ve always had a presence—a decency about you.”
“I wish I could have seen you then.”
“How odd that would have been—the little girl that sees things.” He laughed.
“That would have been awkward, I suppose. Who knows how many psychiatrists they might have dragged me to?”
His eyes raked over me and his mouth turned into a contagious smile. His hands kneaded mine. “I am trying to tell you that I have always loved you.” He dropped to one knee on the damp ground. Before I could respond, he’d pulled a tiny blue box out of his pocket.
“Abel,” I started.
“This is for you, if you’ll accept it.” He flipped the top of the box back and I saw a small pinkish diamond surrounded by pearls. “It was my mother’s.”
I stared at it thinking how much it must mean to him. I did love him…
He pulled it out of the box. “Raquel, will you marry me? I know that I don’t have worldly riches, but no one can know a purer love than what I possess for you.”
I looked down at the ring then back into his eyes. I knew his love was true, but, but…
“There is nothing I want more than to marry you, my love.” His eyes pleaded with mine.
The warmth of his hand contrasted with the frigid wind that was whipping around us. A feeling rushed through me, instinctive and raw. Something that had lain dormant in me for so many years. I couldn’t even remember when I’d given up on it. I’d let the dream die because I’d been so big. I didn’t allow myself think about it, but now that my life had changed…
“Please say you will be my wife.” He still held my hand and was poised to slip it onto my finger.
“I’m sorry, Abel.” I pulled away and started to run, not turning around, not able to face him. I stumbled across the rickety bridge then headed for the railroad tracks. I wanted a child. Yes, I wanted to have a baby. I had been way too large to consider getting pregnant, but now I could. Poor Abel, he was a ghost and there was no way he could have children.
As I entered the house, I realized I shouldn’t have run away like that, but what could I have told him? It would hurt him so deeply to say I couldn’t marry him because he was a ghost. Of course, turning and running was probably worse.
That afternoon, I berated myself for the way I’d treated Abel. No matter what the reason, I shouldn’t have left him kneeling on the ground like that. And yet, I still didn’t know what I’d say to him the next time I saw him. That is, if he ever spoke to me again.
The front door opened and Regina walked in. She was well dressed, as usual, but she didn’t have the look of being on the prowl like she usually did when she was between men.
“How are you?” she asked and waited for an answer.
I was so unprepared for her interest in me, I could only grunt out, “Uh, fine.”
“Well.” She twirled around. “You are looking at a high school graduate.”
“What? So fast?” She had listened to what I had told her?
“Yes, I did as you said. I simply took the test.” Her eyes came alive as she grinned. “Passed it with flying colors, they said.”
“Oh, Regina, that’s wonderful!”
“And, there’s more.” She spread her arms out wide. “I enrolled in the community college.”
“You did?” I was so surprised I was almost speechless.
“Yes, I’m thinking about studying fashion design. That is, if I can.”
“Fashion design. That’s, that’s wonderful. Of course you can.” This seemed like it was beyond my wildest dreams for Regina.
She gave me a sweet uncomplicated smile, and I saw that her shoulders were relaxed as she stood before me. It was amazing what a little success could do for a person.
This was the time, I thought to myself. I had to tell her. It would be unfair to wait any longer. I touched her elbow. “Let’s go sit down.”
She was so high on her newfound euphoria she didn’t even notice the serious look on my face. She plopped down on the couch and made herself comfortable without acting like she had to impress me. “You know, I was thinking about opening a dress shop.”
“A dress shop? That really is a wonderful idea.” I’d never known Regina to have a goal or a dream except to snag a man. It was good news, though. Regina would make a great salesperson when it came to clothes and jewelry.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to come up with the money, but that is my goal. I want to call it Regina’s.” She used her hands to talk, and the gleam in her eyes was contagious.
I smiled, then bit my lips, knowing I had to break the positive mood and tell her.
She stopped babbling about her dreams. “You do look like you need to say something.” She fixated on me.
“I learned something recently. Please don’t ask me how I found out.”
Regina leaned forward. “Just tell me.”
I took a deep breath trying to find the right words. I couldn’t. I’d just have to say it. “Mother didn’t die of a ruptured appendix. She committed suicide.”
Regina stared down at the carpet.
“And, Daddy…” I began.
“You don’t have to tell me. He blamed me.”
“He shouldn’t have done that.” I wanted her to know that Daddy was wrong and she didn’t deserve the way he treated her.
“It wasn’t me,” she breathed.
“Wasn’t you?”
“I always thought the reason he didn’t care for me was that there was something wrong with me.”
Of course, I reasoned. Children always assumed the problem was inside them and not with the adult committing the wrong.
“All those years he hated me for som
ething that had nothing to do with me.” Regina’s face distorted in thought.
“Please don’t feel…”
“How did Mama do it?”
“She slit her wrists in the bathtub.” I looked away imagining what a horrible sight it must have been.
“You know, Raquel...”
I looked at her, dreading she’d fall to pieces.
“I feel bad for Mama, even though I never knew her, but somehow I feel better down deep inside.”
I’d been putting off telling her thinking it would upset her, but she seemed to be dealing well with it.
“I feel like a weight’s been lifted off me. You know, I think I can be whatever I want. I don’t have to sit around wondering if what Daddy used to say about me was right.” She punched her fist at the air. “I really can be a fashion designer just like I want to be.”
“Yes. Absolutely. You can do it.”
“Daddy shouldn’t have treated me the way he did.” Her lower lip protruded.
“I know. I always felt guilty, but then I envied how you just went out in the world and met people and did things and went places.”
“I envied you because you had one place you were always welcome.”
My drop dropped open as I realized how horrible that must have felt. No wonder she got married so young. “Well, we can’t undo the past, but you are always welcome in my house, no matter where I am living.”
Regina jumped up from the couch and came over to embrace me. I hugged her the way my little sister should have been hugged when she was a little girl.
A little later that day, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to Owen, who looked like he’d just gotten out of a swimming pool. It had started to rain, and his red hair descended in thick clumps across his forehead.
“Come in,” I said and ushered him into the foyer.
“It’s coming down like a dam let loose out there,” he drawled.
I ran to the bathroom and got some towels.
“Don’t help that my window won’t close all the way.” Owen rubbed the towel over his head.
“You know, at some point, you’ll need to break down and buy a new truck.”
“That’ll be difficult since I just had an argument with my boss last night.” He followed me into the living room and took a seat across from me.
He worked at one of the best restaurants in town. Losing that job would mean he wouldn’t be making so much in tips. “Oh no, about what?”
“He just lets the employees take breaks whenever they want, so I told him he could do a better job as a manager. And, he just blew up at me—for no reason. I was trying to help.”
This was why Owen needed to work for himself. “You’re a good waiter. That’s why you do so well in tips, but you need to learn to keep your opinions to yourself.” It was hard for him when his real goal was to have his own place.
“It isn’t in my nature to keep my mouth shut.” He looked around. “By the way, is your ghost friend around?”
I grimaced.
“Maybe I’m not the only one who didn’t keep their trap shut?” Owen handed me the towel.
I led him into the living room and offered him a seat. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“Do you still love him?” He looked at me accusingly.
I closed my eyes.
“And does he love you?”
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, remembering how I must have hurt Abel.
“Then everything else can be worked out.”
“Maybe.”
“I’ve never experienced real love, but I still believe love conquers all.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“You think I’m ignorant because I grew up barefoot with no running water, but there are some things I do know.”
“Owen, you know I don’t think that.”
He ran his hands through his damp hair that now looked like a big red bush. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Well, I have taken your advice.”
“My advice?”
“I met with Lorraine.”
I tried to imagine Owen dancing with Lorraine. A twinge of jealousy made me flinch. I needed to quash that feeling. Continuing to dance with Owen would only hurt him.
“So, how did it go?”
He shook his head, making his curls flop around. “It’s still not like dancing with you, Raquel.”
“You know very well that Lorraine is a better dancer than I am.” I was sure she practiced every single day and probably watched dance videos every night.
“Don’t change the subject.” He waved his index finger at me. “I think you should be my partner. Look how far we’ve gotten.”
“Tell me the truth. How did your session with Lorraine go?”
He took a deep breath and let it out in a huff.
“I bet she had some great ideas for choreography and I even bet she corrected you on a few things.” I still felt a hint of resentment that if he danced with her, they’d probably go straight to the top.
His head swayed around as if separated from his shoulders. “She did have a few thoughts on a few things.”
“A few thoughts on a few things,” I repeated.
“Oh, cut the crap, girl. We do good together,” he whined.
“Señorita,” Maria Elena called from the top of the steps.
I jumped up, afraid something had happened to Grandmother. “Maria Elena, what is it?” I hurried into the foyer.
“It terrible.”
My breath caught in my lungs. “What?”
“Water coming in and so terrible.”
Relieved, I let out the air quickly. Thank God it wasn’t Grandmother. The roof was so bad I knew this would happen sooner or later.
I turned back to Owen. “I’m sorry.”
“I need to go any way. I’ll show up for work today, even if I have no idea whether I still have a job or not.”
I cast him a sympathetic look as I hurried upstairs.
When I arrived in Maria Elena’s room, it looked like the wall behind her bed was painted with shellac, it was so shiny. Then I realized, the reason it was so shiny is that a steady stream of water was leaking from above, covering the wall with a film of water.
Maria Elena was already bringing in towels and sopping up the mess. I helped her for a while, but I knew what I had to do.
The Gretna Foundation was so thrilled by my interest in selling, they volunteered to send out a representative that very afternoon. Inside I felt guilty. This is exactly what Abel hadn’t wanted me to do. I admired his spirit of wanting to help the unfortunate. Truthfully, I knew he was right. There were other properties the Gretna Foundation could purchase for their school, but who else was willing to make a house like this into an orphanage?
On the other hand, it looked like we wouldn’t be able to turn this house into an orphanage, anyway. If I got a large amount of money for this house, I could afford to get Grandmother the kind of help she would need in the years to come. Right now, she only had Maria Elena to tend to her, but I could make her much more comfortable physically by taking her to a place designed for a handicapped person.
The doorbell rang, and a stately looking woman in a camelhair coat stood at the door. I walked her down both wings and took her up in the elevator so she could see the rest of the suites. From the second story, I showed her the pool and the tennis courts. Judging from the way her eyes darted around, and by the way she kept her hands by her sides, afraid to give anything away, I could tell she was very impressed.
When we came back downstairs, I saw him. Abel was standing at the edge of the foyer. His form was hazy like a low-hanging cloud. He looked at me and his complexion was pale. The usual luster that made his eyes look like polished ebony was gone.
I felt a desperate desire to run to him, but I resisted it since the lady was right at my side.
“Ms. Blankenship, could we sit down for a moment?” she asked.
“Of course,” I sai
d as I took her to the dining room.
We took a seat at the old table that hadn’t had completely filled with people since I was a child. The memory almost brought tears to my eyes. This would be a perfect place to serve children no one else was willing to help, children that were like Abel had been.
She laid her briefcase on the table and pulled out some papers. “Ms. Blankenship, we were hoping you would be interested in selling us your home and we have gone to the liberty of drawing up some paperwork in the event you were willing to come to an agreement today.”
I stared at the papers sitting on the old lace tablecloth.
She peeled the top papers back and, using a pen, pointed to a figure at the bottom. “Here is the amount we are offering.”
My heart beat so fast I thought I’d faint. They were offering me ten million dollars for the house and the land.
“I’m sure you’ll agree the price is fair.”
That was true. The State had valued the property at seven million. I swallowed hard. For that amount of money, I could buy whatever kind of condo I wanted. I could even get one completely equipped for a handicapped person. Instead of giving Grandmother a bath by hand, Maria Elena could bathe her easily in a specially equipped tub.
“We already have the check prepared.” She pulled out a cashiers check for ten million dollars.
My hand slowly reached upward. I could get the surgery I wanted. I could buy Regina a little store and I could get Owen started in his own restaurant…
“You just need to sign right here and the check is all yours.”
“So fast,” I said feeling disoriented.
She nodded. “Yes, this is the piece of real estate we want and rest assured, the school will be lovely and you are more than welcome to visit any time.”
“I don’t think…”
Her jaw drew tense. “If you insist, we can name the school after you.”
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t possibly make this decision so fast.” Abel didn’t want me to sell.
Her mouth drew up like a dried up prune. “If there’s anything I can say to change your mind…” She slowly put the check back in her purse.
“I need to think.”
“If the issue is money, we only have a little leeway, but we might be able…”
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