by J. L. Wilder
Not an ounce of surprise showed on Mark’s face. Jamie’s heart sank. So, he had been right.
“What if I did?” Mark asked. “She’s our omega, isn’t she? It’s what we brought her here for.”
“She’s been here for a day,” Jamie said. “We were going to ease her in. We promised her she wouldn’t be forced.”
“I didn’t force her!” Mark spat.
“You’re expecting us to believe that she just ran off into the woods with you for a secret rendezvous?” Harley asked. He looked disgusted. “She can’t even tell us apart yet, Mark.”
“I... well, I don’t think she knew who I was,” he admitted.
“My God.” Jamie was appalled. “And you still fucked her?”
“Listen, you weren’t there,” Mark said. “You don’t understand.”
“Oh, this ought to be good,” Harley said. His lip curled in a sneer. “Tell us how you just couldn’t resist her. She was in the river, wasn’t she? I bet she was soaking wet, and you just had to get her out of her clothes, and once you had, you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. Is that it?”
“No, that’s not it,” Mark said. “Am I on trial or something? Yes, I slept with her. She’s here to mate with us. And okay, maybe I jumped the gun a little—”
“A little? We were going to decide together when the time was right!” Jamie cried. “We were going to decide together what the best way was, so she would be most likely to get pregnant by all three of us at once. That was your rule, Mark. That’s what you always said. We’d have to plan and schedule carefully, so we could make sure she carried a litter that belonged to all of us. And then, the first time you got her alone—”
“It wasn’t like that!” Mark said. “I didn’t expect it to happen, all right! It felt like...like it was beyond our control. It was like a force of nature.”
“Oh, what are you, seventeen?” Harley snorted.
“I’m not being hyperbolic,” Mark said. “It really was like that. It was like the feeling of being commanded by an alpha. Remember what that felt like? When Dad used to do it to us?”
Jamie nodded. Harley glared.
“Well, that’s what it was like,” Mark said. “I know this sounds crazy, or like I’m making excuses. But it felt like I didn’t have a choice. And I think, if you asked her, that she’d say she felt the same way. It wasn’t as if we didn’t want to. It was that the wanting was so big that we couldn’t think around it. It was bigger than we were.”
There was a long silence.
“That does sound crazy,” Harley said finally.
“It’s what happened,” Mark said. “Even now, I can barely stand to be in a room with her. It’s taking all my willpower—but I think the problem before was that I was unprepared. When the feeling first came over me, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Now that I’m expecting it, I can manage it.”
Harley shook his head. “You can’t be around her anymore,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
Even Jamie was a little taken aback at that. “Hang on,” he said. “How is that even going to work?”
“We can’t trust him with her, Jamie,” Harley said. “He said it himself. He’s out of control with lust. He’s...he’s an animal.”
It was the cruelest thing Harley could have said, and everyone in the room knew it. As in tune with his animal nature as Mark was, as much as he loved it, he was deeply insecure about the fact that everything he’d ever failed at had been due to an inability to be appropriately human.
Jamie held his breath, waiting to see what would happen.
“You take that back,” Mark said, eyes glittering.
“No,” Harley said.
“I said fucking take it back!” He advanced on Harley, who backed away just as Jamie dove forward to intercede.
Maybe Mark would have hit Harley, or maybe he was only raising his fist to threaten him. In that moment, it wasn’t clear. But when Jamie jumped between his brothers, Mark’s hand caught him under the jaw and sent him reeling back into a bookcase. He hit the shelves, dislodging several books before falling to the ground, his jaw aching from the blow.
Harley looked at Mark as if he were scum. “Get out of here,” he said.
Mark stared at Jamie on the floor, looking horrified. “I—”
“Get out!”
Mark turned and left.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Jamie said, struggling to his feet.
“He hit you, Jamie. He’s lost his mind.”
“It was clearly an accident,” Jamie said. “And something’s obviously going on with him.”
“Yeah, he’s taking liberties with Maddy.”
“You didn’t think there was anything about that story that was worth looking into?”
“Why he thinks we’re stupid enough to believe it, maybe.”
“I don’t know why you always have to provoke him.”
“Provoke him? Are you seriously blaming me for what he did?”
“I wanted us to have a calm discussion,” Jamie said. “You’re the one who escalated it.”
“No way,” Harley said. “This is all his fault. He’s the one who divided us in Oregon. And you, of all people, should know that.” He turned and strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving Jamie on his own to ponder how this conversation had gone so far off the rails.
Chapter Ten
“Is everyone mad at me?” Maddy asked Harley.
He sighed and set aside the magazine he’d been flipping through. “It’s not that simple,” he said.
“It’s not?”
“We’re mad at Mark. Not at you.”
Maddy had thought that the Hell’s Wolves would be able to see the signs of sex all over her the moment she came back to the house. It had certainly felt obvious. But to her surprise—and immense relief—nobody had said anything at first. That was good, because Maddy still hadn’t been sure how she felt about what had happened. Better that she should have some time to work out her feelings for herself before having to explain her actions to the rest of the pack.
But her relief had been short lived. The moment Mark had come back to the house, Harley and Jamie had pulled him away to talk. Even though she hadn’t been included in that conversation, Maddy had known what it must be about. There was only one thing it could be about. And all three of them had emerged looking cold and angry.
Why had she been so unable to resist him? She had been sure, just yesterday morning, that she would not be having sex with any of these men any time soon. When she’d first seen Mark in the forest, she’d felt fear, not attraction. And then something tiny but crucial had changed, slid into place, and all she could think about was getting him inside her.
“You should be mad at me too,” she said now. “I was there too. I did it too.”
“That’s different,” Harley said.
“Why is it different?” she demanded. “Is it because I’m an omega, and omegas can’t control themselves?” This had been a frequent taunt from the Death Fangs. They liked to stand outside her cage and tease her with the possibility of release before backtracking, telling her they knew that if they let her out, she would be all over them.
But Harley looked surprised. “Of course not,” he said. “I know omegas aren’t like that. My mother was one.”
Maddy felt immediately ashamed. She had known his mother had been an omega. “I’m sorry,” she said awkwardly. “I didn’t mean anything...”
“It’s different because you’re not my brother,” Harley said. “Because you and I never agreed to anything.”
“What did you and Mark agree to?”
Harley hesitated.
“Tell me,” she insisted.
“We said that when we did sleep with you, it would be sort of...by mutual agreement,” he said. “That we’d wait until we all felt the time was right, so that we could do it together.”
“Together?”
“Not, like, together, together,
” he said hastily. “Not all at once or anything like that. Just all in the same timeframe, so that we could have the best chance of all of us getting you pregnant.”
“I wouldn’t have done that anyway,” Maddy said. “I don’t even know if I want to have one man’s children, let alone three.”
He looked at her in silence for a long time.
“Are you thinking I’m a waste of an omega?”
“Well,” he said, “probably not in the way you assume.”
“What does that mean?”
“It just means that you should have been born a beta,” he said. “You really seem to hate being an omega, and everything associated with it.”
“I don’t...hate it.”
“No?”
“It was fun when I was a child,” she said, sitting down in the armchair opposite his. Someone had built a fire in the fireplace, and it flickered pleasantly, the wood crackling as it burned. “I guess that figures, though, doesn’t it? Omegas don’t have any responsibilities as children. And I lived with a good family then, a kind, loving pack, so nothing bad ever happened to me. The worst thing in my life was that I wasn’t allowed to eat chocolate cake or go to the mall with the other children.”
Harley frowned. “Why weren’t you allowed to eat chocolate cake?”
“Well, you know,” she said, “health restrictions.”
“What?”
“Everything I ate—everything I did—had to be healthy. Because I had to keep my body in prime condition for bearing children.” She gave him a funny look. “Is this news to you or something? It’s how the Death Fangs guarantee that all their omegas are healthy for the auction.”
“By never letting you eat dessert.”
“I mean, it wasn’t just that. They let us out of the cages to exercise several times a day—what?”
“They kept you in cages, forced you to exercise, and restricted your food?” He looked sick. “That’s how they kept you healthy? Fucking hell.”
“I mean, most of the girls did stay pretty healthy.”
“I bet most of them were basket cases.”
She laughed a little, remembering the huddled women in the barn on the day of the auction. “That’s true. I don’t know why I’m laughing; it isn’t funny.”
“How else are you supposed to cope with something like that?” he asked.
She shrugged.
“It’s normal to laugh, I think,” Harley said. “I figure a person would probably lose their mind if they didn’t.”
“Maybe that’s why I didn’t,” she said quietly.
“Then, it’s for the best.”
“Harley, I really am sorry about what happened with Mark,” she said. “I don’t know how it happened. I didn’t mean for it to. It felt...I don’t know—”
“Like you didn’t have a choice?” His voice sounded odd.
“Exactly like that,” she said. “How did you know?”
“Mark said the same thing.”
Maddy nodded. She wasn’t surprised to hear it. If there was one thing about that strange encounter in the woods she did feel sure of, it was that Mark hadn’t been expecting it any more than she had.
Harley tossed his magazine aside. “Come on,” he said.
“Where?”
“We have some important business to take care of.”
“Am I in trouble?”
“Big trouble,” he said, but he was smiling.
He led her down to the kitchen, which was dark and deserted now that dinner was over, and flipped on the lights. “Go in the fridge and see if we have eggs,” he said.
She did and found a carton that was about half full. “What do we need eggs for?”
He was pulling containers down from a high cupboard. “We’re making a chocolate cake,” he said.
“We’re what?”
“You can’t just never eat chocolate cake. We’re going to make one right now, and we’re going to eat as much of it as we want. Which is probably going to be a lot, since you’ve never had it before.” He chuckled. “You’re about to get such a sugar high.”
“Hang on,” Maddy objected. “Don’t I have to stay healthy?”
“What are you worried about? You said you didn’t want to have kids.”
“I said I might not. And besides, you want me to. I know you’re not going to force me or anything, but isn’t feeding me cake kind of working against your own interests?”
“Nah,” he said. “They were pulling a snow job on you. Having a bit of cake isn’t going to make you any less fit to carry a litter.”
Maddy was stunned. “Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure. It’s just chocolate.”
“But all my life, everyone’s been telling me how important it is to only eat healthy foods. To maintain healthy habits.”
“I mean, that’s a good idea, generally,” Harley said. “I’m not saying you should eat cake three meals a day. But once isn’t going to matter. Most healthy people eat dessert, occasionally, at least.”
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Maddy felt oddly afraid, suddenly, as if she were about to jump out of a plane. “What if you’re wrong?”
“My mom ate cake,” Harley said. “And chips, and she drank tons of soda. And we all turned out fine. Now, hand me those eggs.”
Maddy did. Harley’s hands were so big, and yet, so dexterous that he was able to crack an egg neatly in each. He shook the shells over the bowl and then disposed of them in the garbage can.
“Can I help?” Maddy asked.
He passed her the bowl with the eggs. “You can stir,” he said. “Make sure the eggs and the flour and sugar all blend up evenly.”
She stirred, watching in amazement as the ingredients slowly combined to form a batter. “This smells amazing.”
“We’re not done.” He dropped in a stick of butter, then poured brown powder over the whole mixture.
“What’s that?”
“Cocoa powder. Stir it up again.”
Maddy tried, but it was harder this time. The batter was already thick and resisted her efforts, and having the butter in the way just made things harder. Soon, it was coated in batter and cocoa powder, but it hadn’t blended in with the rest of the ingredients at all. “This isn’t working,” she said, frustrated.
“Let me see.” Harley came up behind here. “You need to mash the butter a little. Here.” He took her wrist in his hand and pressed down with the flat side of the spoon on top of the butter, squashing it into a new shape. “There,” he said when he’d finished. “That’ll make it easier to stir.”
She tried again. The going was a little easier this time—the butter split up into smaller chunks and became evenly distributed throughout the mixture— but she still couldn’t seem to get the texture to even out. “I can’t do this,” she said, unsatisfied.
“Sure, you can. You have to stir it hard, that’s all. With vigor.” He took her arm again and began to whip the batter so fast that Maddy didn’t feel like she was doing anything at all. Her arm was an extension of the spoon, just another tool for Harley to use.
Good God, he was strong.
He reached around her other side to turn the bowl, bringing his chest flush against her back. Maddy inhaled sharply. As soon as he’d touched her, she’d felt that same pulse of desperate energy she’d felt in the woods with Mark.
It’s because he’s Mark’s brother, she told herself. They’re identical. It feels the same, and I’m getting hung up on it. I’m just remembering. That’s all this is.
Except, was that all this was? Because she was suddenly very aware that he was getting hard. He wanted her.
And she wanted him. Badly.
He cleared his throat and stepped back, his gaze averted. “So,” he said, “you’ve got it from here?”
“Harley,” she whispered.
“I need to go and get the cake pan.” But he didn’t move.
“You felt that, didn’t you?” she pressed. “I know you did.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. That’s what happened between me and Mark. One minute, we were just...just talking, we were normal, and then we touched, and then—”
“I’m not like that,” Harley snapped. “I can control myself.”
“Can you?” she asked. “Because I feel like I’m going insane. You don’t feel the same way? You don’t feel it still, even though we’re not touching anymore?”
He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath.
“Mark was always the animal,” he said softly. “Jamie...Jamie was the human. And then there was me, somewhere in between.”
Moving slowly, she closed the distance between them and took his hands in hers. “You’re both,” she said. “You’re a man, and you’re a wolf. Like me. We’re shifters. You don’t have to choose one thing. You don’t have to be one thing.”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“I’m not just an omega, right?” she asked. “I’m a person too.”
“Of course.”
“You can give in to this. You can follow your instincts. You’re not going to lose your humanity.”
Almost without being aware of it, he began to trace his fingertips up and down her arms. “If I give in to one side or the other,” he said, “I’ll be betraying one of them. They need me to keep the three of us in balance. They need me to be the balance. Mark is wild and Jamie is calm, and I’m—”
“Forget about that,” she said. “Be here with me.”
He pulled her into her arms, and she was pleased to see him close his eyes and sigh as she came flush against him. She could feel the hardness of him again, now pressing against her hip, and she melted forward into him.
What was happening? Was this an omega thing? Would she feel this way all the time now? It had never happened with any of the men in the Death Fangs but thank God for that. Thank God the men she was with now were kind enough that she could be with them like this and not feel that she was in danger.
With Mark, she had been afraid, intimidated by the new things she was feeling and at a loss to understand what they meant. It had felt like falling, and Maddy had been terrified of the inevitable impact. But, with Harley, it was different. She felt utterly safe as his hands explored beneath her shirt. He’d given in now, was no longer trying to fight the animal instinct compelling him to take her, and she was glad. Whatever he had to give, she wanted it badly.