by Robin Roseau
"They usually put the drug in the potatoes," I said.
"Oh," Scarlett said. "I'm sorry." She set the plate aside.
"No," I said. "Get back on the horse."
I looked around for Vivian. She was sitting quietly. "Right?"
"It is up to you," she said. "Maybe start slow."
I nodded. "The last time it was in the tea. They tricked me the first time, but I stopped eating before I'd had enough, and I figured out they were drugging me."
"You don't have to tell us," Lara said.
"I can stop if you can't hear," I said.
"Oh honey," she said. "No, that's not what I meant."
I told a part of it. And then I tried to take the plate from Scarlett, but I didn't trust my hands. Gia helped me. I took the fork. My hand wavered, but I was able to spear a potato.
I looked at Scarlett.
"You don't have to eat them," she said. "Never again."
"I love Francesca's potatoes," I said. "I won't let them ruin that." Gia had to steady me, but I popped the potato into my mouth. It tasted wonderful, and suddenly I was ravenous. My hand began shaking more, and I dropped the fork. I tried to grab it, but it tumbled away from me, bouncing off my leg and landing on the floor. Scarlett picked it up and set it aside.
She grabbed a second fork and asked, "Do you want us to feed you?"
I nodded, and slowly Scarlett fed me while Gia steadied the plate on my lap.
"Not too much all at once," Vivian said. "Let it settle."
I nodded and pushed the plate away. Scarlett took it from Gia and set it aside for me. Then Gia helped me drink some lemonade.
I zoned out again, leaning against Gia, but then woke up and found Vivian again. "How long is this going to go on?"
"You'll be fine by morning," she said. "Weak from lack of activity. Don't overdo it."
"Anything I can do to speed it up?"
"More liquids, but it won't matter by that much," she said. "Tomorrow is not far away."
I looked at the window. It was still daylight.
"Bathroom," I said. "Then a short walk."
Scarlett climbed to her feet then pulled me to mine. She steadied me to the bathroom. "Do you need help?" she asked.
"Let's see if I can stand," I said. I held a hand against the door frame to steady me, and she stepped away. My legs held. I was dizzy, but functional. I nodded and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door.
I must have zoned out, because suddenly Angel was in with me, kneeling in front of me. "I'm tired of you helping me in here," I said.
She smiled. "Let's not make a habit of it," she said. "All done?"
I nodded. She helped me up and I reassembled my clothing, washed, and then hobbled slowly out, Angel nearby, but I was standing on my own.
"May I go outside?" I asked the room in general.
"Of course," Elisabeth said. "Serena."
Serena gestured, and Rory and Emanuel went outside in front of me. Serena and Angel flanked me. I looked over at her. "You're not an enforcer."
"I got a promotion."
I turned to Elisabeth. "No. She has school." I turned back to Angel. "School!"
"I am still going to school," she said. "But I have an easy load this term."
I glared at her, but she smiled back.
Francesca spoke up. "She's fine, Michaela. She'll need to be a full time student by midterms, but we need her now."
Angel stepped up to me, kissed me on the forehead, and said, "Did you want that walk?"
I did. I shuffled for the door then out onto the steps. It was late afternoon, and the air was crisp and clean. I stared at the stairs, but then Scarlett and Gia stepped to either side of me, and they supported me down the steps. I stumbled around the courtyard for a few minutes, several of the other wolves stepping outside with me. I called Elisabeth over, then when she arrived, I said, "Put your arm around me." I wrapped mine around her shoulder then asked, "Is Lara really okay?"
"She's tired. That's all. She is fine. I promise."
"How stupid was I? If you're going to yell, please do it now."
"You know," she said. "Yes, you were stupid, and you paid for it, but you weren't that stupid. You had no reason not to trust her."
"I thought she was trying to lure Kimber away so she could talk to her, but Kimber wasn't having it. And I had to go to the bathroom. I should have taken Serena, but I wanted Kimber protected."
"From now on, you let the enforcers manage your security. Stop second guessing us. All right?"
"All right."
"I will see to your security and Lara's. Stop insulting me by acting like I don't know my job. You do your job and don't fight us while we do ours."
"Yes, Elisabeth."
"Do you feel properly chastised?"
"It's my fault Kimber had to go back."
"No, it's not. It is her brother's. And only her brother's. We taught her everything we could about poisons. She is going to be a meek wolf. She is going to have a very difficult time for a while, but she promised me Johnny Mack is a dead man, if he doesn't kill her first."
"Oh god," I said.
"It's the best outcome we could have had."
"What else did we pay?"
"We promised no revenge."
"Unacceptable," I said.
"Tough."
"I promised to kill Brody and Johnny Mack if Brody let him touch me. He let him touch me. I intend to keep my promise."
"You will do no such thing," Elisabeth said. "Lara gave a personal promise. No revenge."
"I didn't promise."
"You will not discuss this with Lara," Elisabeth said. "She had enough stress over this. She and the babies are fine, but the doctors were not happy. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Elisabeth."
"Lara promised no revenge."
"I promised them they would die. They deserve to."
"They are going to," Elisabeth said. "Kimber will kill Johnny, and without his protection, Brody won't last three days. By now, Kimber's claim is greater than yours."
"This conversation isn't over, Elisabeth," I said. "But I am too wiped out to argue."
"You will not discuss it with Lara."
"All right."
"You will not ditch your security detail."
"All right."
"Then we can discuss it when you are feeling better."
"Assemble a plan, Elisabeth."
"We already have one," she said. "We were stalling for Greg to become free."
"You lied."
"Yes," she said. "I lied. He kept telling us he was almost free, but it kept dragging on. He was heartbroken. Finally he told us to get you back ourselves. That's when we asked Kimber to go back."
"She agreed?"
"Yes," Elisabeth said. "I didn't threaten her, but she was going back one way or the other. Our losses without Greg's help would have been too high, and we knew we wouldn't get you out alive."
"She went back without threats?"
"She said it was her family's mess, and you shouldn't have to pay the price. She thanked us for all we had done, and she thanks you for the idea of poison. I think she'll kill him. Give her a chance."
"I will think about it," I said. I leaned more heavily on her. "Walk me around a little more then put me back on the sofa."
"You should nap."
"I want the touching."
She smiled. "You didn't use to."
"I know. I've wanted it since my first bride ransom. That's when I realized."
She nodded. "That's why all the wagers to keep us close during runs?"
"Yes. I feel vulnerable all the time. It helps."
"Thank you for telling me."
We walked around the courtyard for several more minutes, then she helped me inside.
They set me on the sofa again. I curled against Lara, but I was worried I was making her uncomfortable. So I asked for a pillow and fell asleep with my head in Scarlett's lap, my feet in Lara's, surrounded by my friends.
&nb
sp; Patience
I slept until morning. Someone carried me to bed, and when I woke, I was curled against Lara's side. She lay on her back, snoring. We were otherwise alone.
I lay there quietly for a while, listening to Lara snore. I felt weak and out of sorts, and I thought if I sat up, I would find I was dizzy.
I moved away from Lara, and she didn't awake. I rolled over to my nightstand, and I was indeed dizzy just from that. A glass of water and my phone waited for me. The phone, once in Elaine's purse, must have been left behind during the scuffle.
I realized I hadn't asked what happened to the bodies.
I picked up the phone and texted Serena. "Who is awake?"
"I am downstairs," she said.
"Please come help me," I texted back, and a moment later there were light footsteps on the stairs. Serena crept into the room, looked around for a moment, then stepped to my side and knelt down facing me.
"I'm afraid I'll fall," I said.
She nodded, and I slowly climbed out of bed, sitting on the edge to drive away the dizzy spell. I reached for Serena, and she held me steady as I rose to my feet. I clutched at her.
"Bathroom?" she asked.
"Downstairs," I said. "Grab a robe for me, please."
She helped me to the door, leaned me against it, then retrieved a bathrobe from the closet. She helped me into it, and I descended the stairs primarily under my own locomotion, but I clutched the bannister, and Serena hovered protectively.
"I think the drug is flushed," I said. "But I'm weak and dizzy."
I used the bathroom downstairs then stumbled into the kitchen. It was deserted.
"It's quiet," I told her.
"Everyone else is asleep," she said. "It's been a rough week and a half."
"I'm so sorry."
"Stop it," she said. "You made a mistake. It was a small mistake. You won't make it again. You should have been safe. Blame Elaine. Everyone else does. When we saw how she died, we knew immediately what had happened."
"She said they had her family, or something. She apologized. But she helped them. I would have gotten away if she hadn't grabbed me at the end. That's when I killed her."
"Kimber was kicking herself," she said. "She said she should have seen the signs. But she didn't, and you wouldn't have been taken without Elaine's help."
"All right," I said. "I'll try to stop kicking myself if you have all forgiven me."
"I was angry you left, but that's because I thought you were ditching us."
"I wanted Kimber protected. You know, she was the real target."
Serena nodded. "You were a target of opportunity."
"It worked for them," I said. "For now."
Serena's face clouded. "Are you going to do something foolish?"
"No."
"Let me rephrase this. Are you going to ditch me ever again?"
"I have no plans to do so," I said. "And if my mind changes, I am sure there will be a very large amount of warning."
She nodded. "All right."
"One enforcer with you, with what you did, and it would have been the difference," she said.
"Maybe," I said. "If the enforcer didn't die first. There were six plus the bitch."
"You killed or disabled four, Michaela."
"Yes, but it's my style," I said. "An enforcer would have been the first target, six to one. Or at least five to one. Serena, how it turned out was better than if an enforcer had died and I had gotten away."
She nodded. "I suppose. Hungry?"
"Starving. Help me make something."
Together we made breakfast for her, me, and Lara. She helped me carry it upstairs, and I woke Lara gently with the smell of bacon.
"Ah," she said. "My second favorite smell in the world."
"We have company," I told her. "Behave."
Serena chuckled.
I popped into the bathroom, cleaned up a little, and when I got back out, Lara had moved to the sofa. Serena had taken one of the chairs. I sat down on the sofa next to Lara, took her plate away from her, then took turns feeding both of us.
"Someone is feeling better," Lara said.
"Yes. And I am starving. I might eat three pieces of bacon this morning."
She grinned at me. The two of us cleaned her plate then started on the one we had brought for me. Lara, of course, ate far more than I did, but I still ate. By the time both plates were clean, I would still have eaten another half piece of bacon. Serena leaned over and set her plate on the coffee table, stacked on top of Lara's and mine, and there was a sole piece of bacon waiting on it. I stared at it and caught her grinning at me. When I looked at her, she nodded, so I snatched up the bacon, broke it in half, and gave the second half to Lara.
"Thank you," I said to Serena. "How did you know?"
"I saw how you looked when Lara ate the last piece," she said.
"Oh," Lara said. "You wanted it? I'm sorry-"
"No, don't be," I said. "If I were desperate, I could always go make more."
I sat back for a moment and leaned against Lara. It felt good to touch her. She put her arm around me and caressed me, the hand that was wrapped around me caressing my cheek, her other hand on my leg.
I sighed, temporarily happy.
I opened my eyes. "I am still so confused and a little muddled. Today is Friday?"
"Yes."
"Then I have classes to teach."
"Monday. Michele Lassiter will teach your classes today," Lara said.
"Vivian said you would probably have a burst of energy, but that you would still be weak," Serena said.
I assessed myself and decided she was probably right.
"All right. Lara, I feel like I should take care of you."
"I am being well taken care of," Lara said. I glanced up at her, and she seemed satisfied.
"I want a shower. A long, hot shower." I looked up at Lara again. "I'm not ready for..."
"I know. And frankly, I don't think I am, either." She looked down at her stomach. "This has been an easy pregnancy, but I am tired a lot."
My face clouded. "Are you sure you're all right? You need to tell me the truth!"
"I'm fine," she said. "The babies are fine. I'll be taking it extra easy until they pop out. I'm sure I'll start to drive everyone crazy."
I thought back to my own pregnancy. "The last month was hard for me, too. Hunting was really hard."
Serena didn't know this story. "You had pups? Where are they?"
"Oh hell," I said. "You don't know." I buried against Lara, and she held me tightly.
"Oh god," Serena said. "I'm sorry."
"Ask Elisabeth about it," Lara said gently.
I took a few breaths and decided I wasn't going to be distracted. "It was a long time ago," I said. "But I don't want to tell it. Lara, we won't make you hunt."
She laughed. "Good. I don't even want to spend the energy to shift."
Hearing that made me very nervous. I immediately began pawing at her, trying to find where she hurt.
"We have company, Little Fox," she said.
"You're hurt!"
"No, just tired, honey. It's natural."
"You shouldn't be too tired to shift! That takes almost no energy at all."
She lifted my chin to me. "Maybe for you. For me, it takes energy. I learned how to shift instantly, but it takes as much energy as it always has. If you have tricks for that, too, I'd happily learn them before the next time I am in this condition."
I looked over at Serena. "Does it take less energy when I drag you through a shift?"
"No, not really. It's like you drag me along for a ride. I could resist, I think, but in the end, it still uses my energy to do the shift."
"You think you could resist, but you're not sure?"
"No," she said. "I'm not sure. But I wasn't trying."
Lara lifted my chin again. "I know you want to experiment," she said. "You may experiment on me, and me only, when I finally have the energy for it. That won't be any time soon."
I leaned up and kissed her jaw. "Yes, Lara."
I settled back. "I do want that shower, but I haven't had one for over a week. Um. I know I don't stink like a week of fear."
"I bathed you when we got you home," Lara said. "You sort of woke up for it, but you were really out of it. You called me 'mother'."
"Did I really?"
"Yes," she said. "It was sweet. Honey, I can't begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to being a mother."
"It will be nice to have pups in the compound," Serena said. "Everyone is looking forward to helping babysit."
"Because guarding me isn't a full-time job," I said wryly.
"Guarding you is a pleasant past time as long as we know where you are," Serena said. "Do you understand?"
"Yes, Serena."
"Good."
"All right. I am going to shower. I want to talk to Elisabeth for a while when she has time for me." I looked straight at Serena. "And I want you to take me to the gym. I am weak. We'll need to bring food. A lot of food. Or are you near the end of your shift?"
"No," she said. "My shift, as you call it, is whenever you are awake."
"That's too much!" I said. "That's two full time jobs."
"And that is what is required until we can find or train more enforcers."
"That could be years," I said.
"Then it is years," Serena replied.
"Stop telling the enforcers how to do their jobs," Lara said firmly. "I mean it!"
"Yes, Alpha," I said. "I'm sorry, Serena. Thank you for watching over me."
"You are welcome. Michaela, watching over you is a privilege, not a duty. Please remember that."
I closed my eyes and nodded. I didn't entirely believe it, but it was nice to hear it anyway.
* * * *
The shower felt good. I dressed for the gym, chatting with Lara. She had climbed back in bed and said she was going to sleep for a few more hours, but asked me to wake her up later. She got a kiss and a quick cuddle.
I rearmed. I only had one spare pair of strap-on sheaths and would need more. "Lara?" I asked.
"Yes, Love?"
I sat down on the bed next to her. "Elisabeth told Brody something."
"What?"