by Blue Saffire
“Oh. So, what’s the big deal? Aunt Maria loves me and Angie is like your best friend, right?” he spoke calmly.
“Right, that right there is the problem. Number one, Angie was mad at me for not telling her. Maria is cool with it, but she was surprised we are so serious. I mean that you said you love me, but that’s besides the point. She thinks it would be okay to tell my father.” I rushed through my explanation trying to make him see my point.
“I think so too.”
“Well, that’s the next thing I have a problem with. Why do you think so?” I asked seeing my chance to answer some of my questions.
“I just do. Your dad isn’t as bad as you think. He knows my family. He knows I won’t do anything to hurt you,” he explained.
That wasn’t the answer I was looking for. He was hiding more information in that explanation. There was more to his overwhelming confidence than I had noticed before today. I was getting irritated from not knowing the truth.
“No, Lorenzo. That’s not it. There’s something you’re not saying. I just can’t put my finger on it.” I was half talking to myself.
“You’re worrying too much again,” he said nervously.
“No, that’s not it either, for once. Lorenzo, what am I missing?” I asked directly.
“Me, I hope,” he returned.
“Of course, but that’s not what I meant. Please don’t do that. I’m getting annoyed. You’re hiding something,” I pleaded.
Lorenzo paused. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable with the conversation. That just made me more curious. I was going to get some answers.
“I’m sorry, Beautiful. I don’t know what you’re looking for,” he said, again sounding nervous, but sincere.
“Ok, then let me be more direct,” I said through my teeth. My temper was flashing. “I want to know why everyone is going out of their way to make sure I impress you and your father. What. Am. I. Missing. Lorenzo?”
There was a pause on the phone. He usually has an answer for everything. However, at that moment, he was stone cold quiet. I was getting impatient.
“Speak up, Lorenzo. I want to know why you’re so sure of yourself, and why my father just had me go for a spa day? Why is there a hair stylist coming here tomorrow to do my hair just to come see you? I know you know,” I exclaimed.
Still silence. Not even a pin drop. I had become outraged. He wasn’t going to tell me, but he did know. That truth was in his silence.
“Lorenzo!” I screamed.
“Stop yelling at me, Victoria. I’m not the one that should tell you. At first, I wanted to, but I don’t think I should. Ask your father!” he shouted back.
I knew it! I knew I was missing something, and I knew he knew. I was furious. How could he not tell me? So much for doing anything for me. He wouldn’t even tell me the truth.
“Fine, Lorenzo. I don’t like secrets, so if you won’t tell me then I’m done talking,” I growled.
His voice became aggravated and he used a tone I’d never heard him use with me before. “Victoria, this isn’t my secret to share. I don’t even want any parts of it but you. Can’t you just let it go, and either ask your father or wait and see for yourself? I’m not going to be bullied into telling you. Besides, I don’t think you want to hear it from me.” His voice was strained.
“I want to hear it from someone I trust. I thought that was you,” I cried.
“Victoria, you’re asking for something you don’t want,” he returned sounding pained.
“Lorenzo, if you love me, why won’t tell me?” I whined into the phone.
“I do love you and that is why I won’t,” he barked.
I was shocked by his response. It made me think of the day we first met. Then, I thought about the day I met his mother. The way he talked to her when she said he was PROMISED.
That means something I need to understand right now. Something that will make all this make sense. I stopped talking to think. I had been so busy with all of the changes and wrapped up in Lorenzo, I was missing something big.
Like the fact that Lorenzo was at the restaurant that day with his father. Our fathers knew each other a long time. He was so sure my father would like him.
Lorenzo wasn’t worried about my escort in the least. My father said he liked him. Things about the family I didn’t understand. Special guests at the party.
Lorenzo’s father wanting to meet me. Lorenzo only wanted one thing out of the secret, me. Promised. It clicked together at once. Lorenzo’s behavior, his mother’s words, and things my father had done and said.
“Oh, my gosh, Lorenzo,” I cried. “How long…how long have you known?”
Lorenzo remained silent on the other end. My tears were in full stream. I was beyond upset. Had I understood this right?
“So, how much of this is because you love me and how much is about this promise?” I screamed.
“Shit, fuck,” he growled on the other end of the phone.
“Victoria, nothing I’ve ever said to you is about … I love you because I do. You’re all I want. If I could change what our fathers want I would, but that’s not why I want you,” he whispered. His voice was raw with a mix of emotions, pain, maybe fear.
“So, I just spent the day getting ready to be pawned off to you? Is that what my father meant about keeping me a little longer? You are my escort.
“You have been all along. I’ve been crying to you about something you could’ve fixed right away with the truth,” I snarled.
“You think I want to hide things from you? The truth wasn’t mine to tell, Victoria. They feel this is more important than what we want. Did you ever wonder why your dad married Maria and not your mother? He had no choice. I don’t have a choice, but I’d gladly give up that choice if it means I get to have you.”
“Lorenzo, I can’t …I need to breath. I have to go,” I cried hysterically.
“Victoria, wait …” I heard the lump in his throat as he spoke.
I hung up the phone. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I was confused and hurt. I wanted answers, answers he refused to give me. I wanted to know who knew about this? Did Maria know? Is that why she insisted on that dress? What did he mean we had no choice?
I ran downstairs to find Maria. She would have to answer my questions. I went to the office, I knew I would find her in and pulled the doors wide open. I was so mad I could have ripped the doors out of joint. Maria looked up to see what was going on with shock on her face. Angie had the same look.
“Do you know?” I screamed. “Do you know what they are planning? Did you know I’m promised to him, that you were getting me ready to be passed off to him?” The tears were running my words together.
Maria’s expression told me what I wanted to know. She looked confused. After a few moments, she dropped the papers in her hand. Disgust took the place of shock.
“Oh, my God, Victoria, it all makes sense. I thought I was suggesting Lorenzo as your escort, but your father was too willing. I never thought they would … I thought we were the last.
“I mean you’re not the child of this marriage, so I didn’t think they would. I’m so sorry. I should’ve known.
“Sharon said Lorenzo was promised. I ignored it because I didn’t see to who or how that would be possible. I thought she was just being Sharon. You would be the one if you were my daughter. Frankie doesn’t have girls and Joann doesn’t count. It would be you.”
Tears were running down her face. I wasn’t sure if they were because of me or because it wasn’t her real daughter being pawned off. Not until she crossed the room and embraced me.
“I am so sorry, Victoria. I would never want this for you. It wasn’t what I wanted either. I just accepted it, but you deserve better.” I cried harder.
This was all on my father. He was acting alone unless my mother knew. She probably did, she went along with anything my father wanted.
Just as I thought, the one person I was scared to love because I didn’t want to lose him, I
would have to give up. I wouldn’t be with someone because of some family tradition. This wasn’t going to happen.
I looked at Maria. “I want to go home.”
She looked at me with pain in her eyes. “That won’t change this, Victoria. This isn’t something you can just change.”
chapter Fourteen
Answers
Victoria
We waited all night, until my father came home. Aunt Joann came to pick Angie up after Maria realized what was going on. This wasn’t something Angie needed to or should be involved in. She’d already heard too much.
Lorenzo kept calling my phone from the time I hung up. I refused to answer him. I just wanted him to leave me alone.
Maria tried to explain as much as she could without crossing the line. Besides, she didn’t know all the details. The women never do.
We were supposed to do as the family asked and nothing more. Most of the young women, went along with it because the lifestyle that the men provided was more than adequate. They never wanted for anything.
Maria’s voice was small as she spoke. “It always starts with the first daughter of the oldest son, in the first family. If that son has no daughter, then it would be the next son. The first daughter is promised to marry the oldest son of the family with the next strongest name.
“If there’s no son, then another heir to the name is to be chosen. In the following generation, it would be the chosen son, a La Marcello male heir. He would marry the promised daughter of the family that bares the second strongest name.
“It just keeps going on and on. The cycle repeats and continues generation after generation. Your father had been the chosen son. His family thought he would handle it best.
“He took the most pride in the La Marcello name. Your Uncle Frankie doesn’t believe in the arrangements and your grandfather didn’t trust him to continue the tradition. At least, that’s what I was told,” Maria shrugs.
“I’m still trying to understand,” I say with wrinkled brows.
“I was the first born in my family. I was promised from birth to the La Marcello family. I had no idea. Not until my nineteenth birthday, when I was introduced to your father,” Maria says and wipes at a tear.
“Oh, my God, are you serious?”
“Yes,” Maria nodded. “I was in love with someone else. Much like your father, but I had to let that go for the families. We had to keep the tradition safe. The right families had to remain strong. It was what must be done,” she shrugged, but I could see the sense of pride as she went on.
“It was my greatest sacrifice,” Maria said with a distant look in her eyes. I could see she’d disappeared to somewhere far away. Something changed in that moment. I paid attention to the change.
“We found out after the marriage that I couldn’t have one of our own,” Maria continue, not coming back from wherever her thoughts had taken her.
I had the sense that there was something more that Maria wasn’t saying. I leaned in to listen closely to her words. I wanted to understand her.
“I was stunned to find out I couldn’t have his children. It must have been me. You’re proof. Something went wrong after…,” Maria fell silent.
I realized Maria had secrets of her own. Her pain in all of this went deeper than not having my father’s children, the promise, Toni, or me. She spoke as if she had lost a great deal.
I wondered what happened to the man she loved. Did he just let her walk away? I decided to ask.
“Maria, whatever happened to the man you were in love with,” I asked curiously.
The faraway look deepened in her eyes. “We were never meant to be together anyway. Our family had too many secrets and then we started to have our own,” she chuckled, “but look, I marry into a bunch of secrets anyway.
“I knew your father was in love with your mom. I just thought that the love for his family wouldn’t only make him follow the tradition, but it would make him love me too. I know he loves me, but it’s not the same.”
My heart broke to hear her words. I thought about Lorenzo. I did love him. I didn’t know how to explain it.
He made me feel like everything was perfect in the world. I felt safe with him and I knew he loved me. That was a lot different from Maria and my father’s story.
Lorenzo and I were in love. I would marry him if he asked. I can’t describe it. But I knew it for sure. I just don’t want him like this. It bothered me that he knew and didn’t tell me. It felt wrong that they were making the choice for me.
“I don’t know why yous are being introduced so early,” Maria mused.
My father walked in just as Maria spoke.
The sight of him made me furious. Maria and I both jumped to our feet. We had been sitting on the floor in the foyer, in the center of the large tiled L crest design.
My father looked surprised to see us sitting there. His eyes bounced between us both, as his brows knitted together. We didn’t give him time to figure it out.
Maria and I spoke simultaneously. “How could you?”
“What did I do now?” he laughed.
“Lorenzo, Daddy. I know what you’re up to. I know about this…this promise,” I shuddered.
The laughter died on his lips and the smile faded from his face. Rage and anger replaced it. He looked at Maria as if he were ready to spit nails.
“What have you done?”
“This isn’t on me, Venncesso,” Maria scoffed.
“What kind of idiot do you think I am? I figured it out on my own. You had me prepped, you asked me to be nice to him, and his father wants to meet me,” I hollered, “Lorenzo wouldn’t tell, but that in itself was enough to make me wonder. If he is promised, as Sharon put it and I’m to meet him, then I wonder who he’s promised to?” I cried with sarcasm.
My father looked at me puzzled. Suddenly, his expression changed to complete fury. It was enough to almost cause me to step back.
“Have you been talking to Lorenzo? I want the truth, Victoria,” he bellowed.
“Yes. What difference does that make if you’re trying to marry me off to him?” I quizzed. Sounding more irritated by the minute. “He was my boyfriend until I found out he’s a liar like you.” I throw in while I was at it.
I could see I had gone way too far. My father took a step toward me, but Maria threw herself between us. My father went to shove past her.
“Venncesso!” she screamed. “We all need to calm down. You don’t want to do something you’ll regret in the morning.”
My dad stopped and reached into his pocket. I watched him pull out his cell from his suit jacket. He dialed a number and waited.
“Hello, Alfonzo. I want to talk to your boy,” he shouted. He paused to listen, as he stared in my direction. “It seems he and my daughter have been talking a lot more than we thought.
“She says he was her boyfriend until she found out he was a liar like me. She also knows more than she should about them meeting,” he hissed. “I want to know who the real liar is around here.”
He paused again as he listened, but this time the voice on the other end was roaring back. My father shook off his blazer and threw it over a hook in the foyer, before he began pacing. I nearly started to pace with him.
“Ask him how long has he been her boyfriend? I am very interested in that,” he grunted at the phone. He stopped pacing to look at me. I felt terrible. I was getting Lorenzo in trouble, but part of me thought he deserved it.
My father’s mouth dropped open. “What! They’ve been talking on the phone since when? I thought he understood she wasn’t to know,” he bellowed.
He listened. “Yes, I know she is smart, Lorenzo. That’s why you were to wait until you were introduced.”
He was talking to Lorenzo. I was furious all over again. I felt like they were treating me like some object that could just be passed along. My father listened for a long time, nodding his head.
“I understand that, Kid, but being in love with her isn’t helping you now, is it? I d
on’t care if you’re against this whole thing. She sees you in the same boat as the rest of us. As I recall she just referred to you as a lying ex-boyfriend,” my father said smugly.
“No, you cannot speak to her. You two have done enough of that for now,” he yelled after a quick pause.
Another pause and my father started to pace again. “No, Alfonzo, we’ll meet just as planned tomorrow, at six. Victoria will do as she’s told. If she’s bold enough to date behind my back, then she’ll be bold enough to honor the family,” he demanded, before another pause.
“No, it’s okay, Alfonzo. I believe she figured it out on her own. That’s Victoria. I can understand him not being able to stay away from her. I wish he had tried, but I don’t blame him. We should’ve been more careful. I’ll see you tomorrow, Al. I need to deal with this,” my father sighed.
My dad hung up and turned to glare at me. He loosened his tie and unfastened his top buttons. He pressed his lips and raised an eyebrow.
“This isn’t something I wanted you to find out this way,” he shrugged, “but now you know. Lorenzo’s an eager young man that has cost us all something. However, this isn’t up for discussion.”
“Oh, no, I’m not going to be some family trade off. I don’t care to who. Lorenzo or not, I will not do it,” I blurted out.
“Victoria, you’ve no idea what you’re talking about. This is bigger than some trade off, as you call it. You should be so lucky to have it be to someone you already care for,” he demanded then looked at Maria with a pained expression. I could tell he didn’t mean to hurt her with his words.
“Why do I have to do this?” I questioned.
“Because you’re a La Marcello,” he barked.
“What does that mean? That’s not an answer. I’m tired of being treated like a child. What’s the big deal if I don’t follow this tradition,” I griped.
“You don’t want to be treated like a child? Oh, really,” my father stepped in my direction. “Fine, you’ll do this because the family depends on it. Because if you don’t, life as you know it will cease to exist. It’s your duty to protect your family. You will marry Lorenzo and honor your heritage.”