by Ward, H. M.
“Hey,” he said, trying to settle her down, not realizing how unstable she was, “it’s not that bad. I can’t imagine that you’re afraid of anything, so what is it?” After seeing her slaughter a pack of wolves, he didn’t think she was afraid of anything. She mouthed off to the monarchy, as well. But a needle made her tremble. He didn’t get it. Why was she spooked? Will clasped her hand tighter, and looked up at her. “I’m not a wolf. I won’t tear you to shreds.”
Her eyes were glazed over, fighting the impulse to attack. Kahli’s arms were shaking the tiniest amount. It was rage, making her shiver like a frightened cat. Her mind wouldn’t allow herself to think this was okay. It was wrong. On every level it was wrong. But there was nothing she could do. It took every bit of self-restraint she had to sit there. Will held her hand softly, like he cared, but she knew it was a lie. He just needed blood.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she answered, “Just do it.”
Will glanced up at her for a moment. Her voice was strained, her body tense. Her lip was back in her mouth, getting crushed by her teeth. He moved quickly, and pricked her finger with the needle. Kahli stared blankly ahead. She didn’t watch six drops of blood fall. She didn’t want to feel anything. She didn’t want to remember any of this. Will’s warm fingers were on hers, squeezing the blood.
He worked quickly. Doing this to Kahli was like trying to chisel a piece of china. He felt like she’d break at any moment, and when she did—he didn’t know if she’d fall apart or attack everyone and everything in her path. When the last drop fell, he lifted her finger to his lips without thinking. He didn’t tell her that it was normal. He thought she knew.
Kahli sucked in a gasp, suddenly feeling his tongue flick against her finger. Startled, she jerked her hand back.
Will, still kneeling in front of her, looked up into her face, “Sorry. It helps you heal faster. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” His eyes were on hers and her body felt hot. Flushed. Her head was spinning, spinning with denial, betrayal, and a million thoughts she shouldn’t be thinking.
Watching her face, Will saw the cut on her lip open when she pulled her hand away. He leaned in close, slowly. Kahli’s heart was pounding in her chest. His eyes shifted between her lips and her eyes, as if he were asking permission. She sat there, barely able to breathe. Will leaned in closer, his dark lashes lowered, his eyes fixated on the drop of blood on her lip. He shouldn’t do it. He shouldn’t taste her, but he couldn’t let her leave with a cut.
When he felt her warm breath slide across his lips he wanted to kiss her. It was impossible to not picture her in his arms, her body pressed tightly against his. Instead of doing the things he wanted, he blinked slowly and slid his tongue over the cut. Kahli’s blood filled him, warming him. It was only a drop, but it burned through him, consuming him like a raging fire. Blood normally didn’t do that to him. He’d sealed many wounds, tasted many humans, but this—this was different. It was the kind of thing that only existed in fairytales. Her blood was as vibrant and sensual as she was. How could she not know? She sat there watching him like it pained her to be touched, but that was all he wanted to do. The moment her blood touched his tongue, Will wanted to taste her kiss, not just her blood. It was the slow agony of realizing that he could never get enough of her.
Gently, he pulled away, pressing his lips together. Will placed a hand on her shoulder. Kahli’s body was taut, bursting with confusion. She was stiff and giddy and repulsed. The emotions warred within her so fiercely that she didn’t know which one to react to first. When he put her finger in his mouth, she nearly climbed out of her skin. It was beyond her compression, but it made him seem appealing. It should have disgusted her. Drinking blood was the act of monsters and animals. He was both.
Will was both.
God she felt confused. Then when he licked her lower lip, she was lost. It felt like time stopped. It felt like he was everything she wanted and nothing she needed. Kahli didn’t know if these feelings were normal. She didn’t understand Will’s reaction, or lack thereof. After he nearly kissed her, he pulled away and prepared the trays. He didn’t even look back at her until the Queen’s servant arrived and took the tray. Only then did Will turn back and offer his arm. She stood, feeling like she was blindsided, and they walked back to her room in silence.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Pssst,” Cassie’s voice was low.
Kahli had been staring at the ceiling for over an hour. Her heart was still pounding from what Will had done to her. She was so messed up. Her family was slaughtered by vampires, and she was turned on by one. What the hell was wrong with her?
“Pssst! Kahli, I know you’re awake.” A pillow launched at her head. Instinctively, Kahli reached out and grabbed it before it landed. “Are you okay? Was it a feeding?”
“No,” Kahli whispered, “a tasting. That’s it.”
“Oh,” her voice lost some of its curiosity. “Then what’s wrong? The other two aren’t here yet. It’s just us. You can tell me if you want. Or we can talk about something else. You seem freaked. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She was twisting her blankets and looking at Kahli in the dark.
The other two were never there this early, and it was after two in the morning. She wondered where they were but didn’t want to know. The less she knew, the better. It was hard enough staying here, as it was. “I’m okay. It just surprised me. That’s all.”
“What surprised you? I told you everything. And it wasn’t like it was a feeding, so they used your finger, not your neck, right?”
She nodded, staring at the ceiling, twisting her blanket between her fingers, “Yeah. I just didn’t expect to feel anything but rage. You know? When Will sealed the wound… I just—” the sensations she’d been fighting fluttered through her again.
Cassie’s voice was serious, much more so than usual, “What are you talking about? What feelings? He didn’t have sex with you, did he? Will wouldn’t do that, right?” She sounded like she wasn’t certain any more.
Kahli wasn’t really listening. She was thinking about Will’s lips so close to hers. She could still feel his breath slipping across her mouth. She flinched when Cassie’s question sunk in. She propped herself up and stared at the other girl, “No! He didn’t do anything like that.”
“Then what’d he do?”
“He licked the wound shut. He did what you said, but it felt like a million butterflies exploded inside of me, all bustling to break free. It made me shiver so hard that I bit my lip, and when he closed that cut, it was worse. Oh my god, it was worse. I’ve never felt like that. Ever.” Her green eyes were wide, pleading, “Tell me that’s some vamp voodoo. Tell me it wasn’t something else.”
Cassie’s expression faltered while Kahli spoke. The sad smile on her face said everything, “It happens, Kahli. It’s not a big deal. You have a little crush on your Handler, that’s all. It makes sense. A girl gets filled with fear and the nearest guy is the one who reaps the rewards. That was Will. It’s nothing,” she assured her, “It’ll pass. Everyone gets something like that.”
Kahli laid back down on her pillow. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, unblinking, “Did you? Did you feel that intensely about your Handler the first time they took your blood?”
Cassie was quiet for a moment, remembering. It was a long time ago. She was nervous, but the emotions that Kahli was describing weren’t nerves. They were lust. “No, I didn’t feel like that. Not really.”
Kahli pressed her eyes closed and tried to block out Will’s face—his eyes. They were so blue, like twin gems. She couldn’t stop picturing his lips on her finger, his tongue brushing her mouth. With a strained voice she asked, “And it was Will?”
“Yes, but Kahli… ” Cassie glanced over at her, but Kahli cut her off.
“It’s fine.” Nothing happened. There was no reason to freak out. There was a logical explanation for all this. There was no way Kahli went from hating vampires to being infatuated with one. She wasn’t that s
tupid. “It’s not a big deal, right? Some people have different reactions to things. It would make sense that I’d react differently. I just had an adverse reaction to Will. That’s all.” Wide-eyed she stared at the ceiling, her heart still pounding.
Cassie replied softly, “Sounds like the exact opposite to me.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Kahli was restless all night. The thoughts and images that passed through her mind were forbidden, but that didn’t keep them away. She tossed and turned, taking notice that Gene and Missy were returning just before dawn. The two girls slipped into bed more quietly than usual. Their movements were slow and tense, their eyes vacant like they were shell-shocked. Kahli wondered why. The two usually came back half drunk, arm in arm like they’d been partying all night. Cassie became anxious whenever she brought it up, so Kahli stopped asking. Rolling over onto her side, she faced the wall. Specs of gold glinted in the paint. She pressed her fingers to the wall and Will’s lips filled her mind. What was wrong with her? Exasperated, Kahli rolled onto her back and pulled the blanket over her head.
Dreams invaded her rest. Disturbing sensual thoughts filled her body and she felt everything. Just as her heart was ready to explode, just as her dreams were heating up far beyond the flirtatious visions from earlier that night, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Kahli startled. Not fully awake, she jumped from her bed, grabbing her attacker by the neck.
Blinking, she stared at Will, his dark brow raised slightly. “Seriously?” he just stood there, those blue eyes lingered on her face. A soft smile twisted his lips. Kahli was shaking. She dropped her arms and a shiver raked her body. She shook it out. Will was watching her, his gaze lingering on her sheer gown. “What’s up with you?” he asked.
Kahli couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t say the things that had happened in her mind. She wanted to scrub the thoughts away with a metal brush. She tugged her hair, and turned toward him. A plastic smile spread across her face.
“Nothing. Nothing at all. You just startled me.” Will didn’t look convinced. She wondered if he could hear the rush of blood flowing through her frantically beating heart. “I’ve been alone for most of my life. Someone waking me up is usually bad.”
Will nodded, his expression completely serious, “I would suppose so. I hear bear attacks are on the rise.”
Kahli’s tremors subsided slightly. She grinned at him, pushing him in the arm, “Bears. I’ve never woken once and been afraid that a bear was trying to eat me.”
“Then what were you dreaming about? Because it seemed to make you really jumpy. And sweaty.” Will’s eyes slid over her face.
Kahli’s hair was damp at the roots, sticking to her cheek. She pulled it back and didn’t look at him. “Vampires,” she said. Sometimes telling the truth was the easiest lie. She was able to look him in the face and say it, but her voice was off—too steady and deep.
He brushed his foot against the floor before looking back up at her. Sunlight was spilling through the window. “Anyone I know?” Will paused, glancing up at her with an odd expression on his face.
You. I was dreaming about you doing things to me that were completely forbidden—and completely wonderful, she thought. Kahli wanted to ask him, she wanted to know if last night messed with him, too. From the look on his face, he seemed to be in a different mood that morning. He wasn’t closed down like he usually was. Kahli thought she could sense things in him, things that were normally impossible to detect.
Parting her lips, she began to ask, “Will, what does it mean when… ” but she was interrupted.
The door flew opened and Cassie bounded into the room. Her dark hair hung in long curls, her dark eyes glittering. There was a huge smile on her face. Cassie was a morning person. “Finally! You’ve been asleep forever!”
Kahli glanced at Will, then back at Cassie. His gaze told her that he wanted to know what she was going to ask, but she couldn’t say it now. Not in front of Cassie. The idea of having a crush on Will made her stomach twist. It was wrong, she should hate him. God, they needed to talk. There was so much he hadn’t had a chance to say. What did he mean the other night? What trouble did he get into? And why was he caught between the Queen and her plotting brother? It was a bad place to be, yet Will seemed to take it in stride. Maybe he had to. Maybe he was trapped.
A voice inside her head answered, Maybe he likes it there. Maybe he wants it that way. The flicker of distrust ignited within her again. It didn’t matter how soft his lips felt, or how perfect his body was—he was still a vampire. He’d still kill her like a lone wolf lost in the snow. Their eyes even held the same haunted expression—like there should be something more than hunting and killing—but there wasn’t.
She tore her gaze away from the boy and answered her friend, “It’s only nine o’clock,” Kahli mumbled, grabbing her robe and wrapping it around her. She shivered, rubbing her arms vigorously trying to shake off the cold. “You make it sound like it’s after noon.”
Cassie replied, “Hey, you know it’s late by looking around. See anyone else in here? No. Even Missy and her clone were up before you. Have trouble sleeping?” Her lips pulled into a wicked grin as she shot a look at Will.
Kahli wrapped her arm around Cassie’s shoulders, and yanked her close, nervously laughing, “Of course not.” Her fingers pressed into Cassie’s arm hard.
Cassie squeaked, “Owh!” and pulled away from her friend. Grinning she said, “Fine. I’ll tease you later. Will doesn’t care anyway.” Will glanced at Kahli and back at Cassie, his head tilted like he did care and wanted to know what she was talking about. Kahli felt a nervous flutter up her throat and into her mouth. Good little Cassie wasn’t paying attention. She was acting like a Labradoodle on Pixie Stix, practically bounding through the glass at the window. Pulling open the drapes dramatically, she said, “It snowed! Get dressed! Come out!”
Kahli looked at her like she was crazy, “It always snows. It never melts. It’s freezing 365 days a year. I don’t get why you’re…” Kahli’s words died in her mouth. When she walked to the window, she began to see why Cassie was excited. There was usually a slow dusting of flakes that fell from the sky slowly, gently covering the ground in thin layers. But this…
Cassie squealed, “Get dressed!” and ran from the room, skipping on her way out. The door slammed behind her.
Staring out the window, Kahli pressed her fingers to the cold glass, “There was a storm last night?” There had been and it dropped over four feet of fluffy white snow. She stared at the stretch of white lawn. Damn, she’d been out of it. It was like she was drugged. Her eyes cut to Will, who was standing over her shoulder, looking out the window. “Did you…” She hesitated. It didn’t seem like he drugged her, but her mind didn’t feel like her own.
Turning her toward him, he looked down at Kahli. Will lifted a strand of her hair and pushed it away from her face. It was an act that made her knees weak. She couldn’t think. Kahli stepped away, her back pressing up against the window. Will stepped forward, “Did I what?”
“Did you do anything to me last night? Give me anything that would have made me,” she tried to find the right word without spilling her guts, but there was no word. There was nothing that could have made her act that way.
“Made you want me?” his warm breath slid across her lips. Kahli shivered. Will’s eyes bored into her, making her feel exposed. “No,” he breathed. He bit back the rest of the words he wanted to say. She was so close, he could feel the heat radiating off of her. It took all his resolve to remain where he was and not press her into the window and kiss her, taste her, right there.
She swallowed hard, “Then what was that?” Her voice was barely audible. Will took a breath and his chest brushed against her. Kahli shivered. Pressing her eyes closed, she shook her head. This can’t be. It’s not possible. He had to have done something, but when she opened her eyes and looked at him—she couldn’t fathom it. She found herself trapped in his gaze, leaning closer and closer to his lips. One tas
te. One kiss. She blinked slowly as if this moment were never-ending.
Will was frozen, watching Kahli’s expression soften. Her chest gently brushed against his as she breathed. The pace of her heart increased as those green eyes locked on his lips. She moved toward him slowly, like she was bewitched. He felt her warm breaths as she neared him, those perfectly pink lips close enough to taste. Will was torn. Last night was miserable. He’d never had this reaction to a tasting before, never been so overtly drawn to the human that he was draining. But Kahli, it was like she was an aphrodisiac. He couldn’t brush her away from his mind. A kiss was forbidden. A kiss was death for them both, and standing in front of the window was not the place to kiss her. If that day ever came, it would be somewhere that no one would find them. Just as Kahli’s lips were about to press to his, Will pulled back. “Kahli,” he breathed, “we can’t.”
She stopped and stared at him. It was something she wanted and something she dreaded. A kiss. He continued speaking, taking her shoulders and moving them away from the window and prying eyes, “Get dressed, then come find me. I need to tell you something.” When he released her shoulders, it felt like a rush of coldness crashed into him. It was so unexpected that it made him gasp.
Kahli saw him suck in air like he’d been punched. “Can’t you tell me know?”
He shook his head, “It’s the kind of thing that you need to see to believe.”
She glanced up at Will, nodding, “Where?”
He smirked, his lips pulling into a crooked grin, “I’ll find you.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kahli pulled on a black tank top and layered her clothing like she used to do when she was on her own. The cold had a way of seeping through her clothes, making it impossible to keep warm. Why Cassie wanted to go play in the snow was beyond her, but she obliged the girl. After getting dressed, she found Cassie in the front rooms waiting for her. The girl looked like a poodle, complete with curly fur. The white jacket she wore was the strangest thing she’d ever seen. It was more of a stylistic statement than a coat.