by Jamie Knight
I laughed. Pretty ballsy the way he was talking. If I told mom half the stuff he said, she’d probably have a fit.
“Shit, Richard. This is getting pretty real.”
“If you don’t have truth, you don’t have much of anything,” he offered. “If I can’t be real with you, you won’t trust me. Not that I expect you to instantly trust me on every subject, but--- Give me some credit. I’m trying to build a bridge.”
“After you destroyed one between my mom and dad.”
“That wasn’t all me,” he pointed out. “Couldn’t possibly be. You don’t stray from the path for just anyone and no reason. If you’re being honest, they were having problems before I came along.”
That was true. They had bickered a lot over the years. My mother wasn’t happy. I sighed. Maybe I didn’t want this conversation.
“Look, if this is too real, Phil, I---” he started tos ay.
“No, you’re talking to me like a man. I get it,” I acknowledged. “You know I wanted to punch you in the face. I vowed to do it if we ever were alone.”
He put down his drink and his cigar, then stretched out his arms.
“Okay, but you only get one.”
“You know I’m not going to do that,” I said smiling wryly. “What would you tell mom?”
“That I walked into a door or fell down. Just so I’m ready when you do it. Don’t surprise me in the hall or coming out of the bathroom, okay?”
It was hard to stay mad at Richard. He seemed like a genuine guy. I don’t think I’d ever forgive him for what he did, but I suppose I could learn to live with it. Maybe I would see things differently in the next ten years or, God forbid, after a divorce. I sipped the whiskey.
“Yeah, sure,” I agreed.
“I don’t know how long this lockdown’s gonna last, but if you ever want to visit the man cave,” he offered. “Let me know. We can smoke, drink--- I’m gonna assume that’s all you do. I’m not really into weed, but if you want to smoke a bowl---”
“You’re working it hard, Richard,” I smiled. “I’m not gonna share my schwag with you, but I guess we have a truce. Anything else?”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “One big ask. My daughter--- I’d really like it for you two to get along. I’m sensing a lot of tension there. Tracianne’s kind of in the same boat. She’s blasted me pretty good about dating your mother.”
“They do not get along.”
“No, they do not,” admitted Richard. “The two of them are vying for Queen of the Beehive and there can be only one.”
Hmm. That was true. Why was it that Richard and I could sit down together and have a real chat, but the ladies? No way.
They’d pretend to be cordial, but you could sense the underlying hostility between the two. My mother would rule over her or she would be driven out of the house. I could just see it.
As much as I disliked Phil and what he did, I could at least tolerate him if I tried. Such a weird dynamic either way, I gues.
“Maybe if you spent some time with Tracianne,” he offered. “Got to know her. Maybe, I don’t know--- Watch some TV together or something. I’m not suggesting you have to be best buddies---”
“Yeah, sure. I hear you. And I’ll see what I can do.”
He toasted and we clinked glasses.
“Thanks, buddy,” he smiled.
He wouldn’t be smiling if he knew how turned on I’d been when I had seen her swimming. I’m sure this conversation would get really ugly, really fast if I told him how hot I thought his daughter was. Oh, but he could talk about my mother all day long and I would have to sit here and---
Nah, he wasn’t trying to be a bastard. God, I wanted to dislike him, and, for my dad, I would not say I liked him. I decided I would, henceforth, only tolerate him somewhat. It was the best I could do under the circumstances.
It seemed the best thing for me to do for my own situation. If Richard thought I was cool with him, he’d be calm. The whole house would be calm and I would have less visits from him.
I could podcast and read comics in peace. If I put up a resistance, what would I get? I guess I would get the satisfaction of pissing him off, but then we’d both be miserable.
No, it was best to go along to get along.
“All right, I have to go back to my room,” I said. “Thanks for the drink. Sorry, I can’t finish that cigar.”
“That’s okay,” he shrugged. “I’ll save the rest of it for you for next time if you want it. You keep these things dry, they last forever.”
He snipped off the ends and put it in a plastic case. I went back to my room to have dirty thoughts about his daughter.
Chapter Eight - Tracianne
After days of nothing but Internet, I grew weary. What day was it? Had I been locked in for a week yet? Jesus, I’m going out of my mind!
“Hey girl, what’s real?” asked Diamond over the phone.
“I’m going crazy. I have to leave,” I growled. “I can’t take this anymore!”
“Whoa-whoa-whoa, slow down. Talk to me,” offered Diamond.
“My stepmother is like--- All over Phil and my dad--- What do you boys want to eat? Are you feeling okay? You should have some more fruit!” I mocked. “She’s driving me crazy!”
“Because she’s helping her son and her husband?”
“She doesn’t help me!”
“Listen to me,” Diamond said. “Tracianne, you gotta get a hold of yourself. You are missing your own mother. That’s what your problem is. Take it from Dr. Diamond.”
“It’s so--- Why am I so angry?”
“I don’t know. You miss your mom and you’re frustrated. Whatever you do, don’t take it out on other people, okay? That’s not gonna help anything,” Diamond consoled. “I understand you’re cooped up, but you can get out. Hey, I’m seeing this guy tonight. You want to come? I’ll see if I can get you a date.”
“You’re ten hours away in Jersey City!”
“So?”
“I’m not driving ten hours to go out on a--- Wait a minute, you’re supposed to be at home! Why are you going out?”
“Oh, fuck that noise. There’s this illegal bar I know,” Diamond said. “It’s great. I think the Mafia runs it.”
“What?! No! Diamond, don’t go there!”
“Relax. They don’t bother hot girls like us,” she assured. “All they do is buy us drinks and if you’re lucky--- Jewelry! Heh-heh!”
Oh, my God. Why did I call Diamond of all people? She’s nuts. She can’t possibly relate to all this.
“Diamond, I’m not coming to see you,” I said. “We’re in lockdown. You have to stay in. I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Are you crying?”
“Yes! You’re making me upset!”
“Okay, okay, I was half kidding. The Mafia doesn’t really run that place, I don’t think.”
“Don’t go out. Please!”
“All right, fine. I’ll stay in. Damn, Tracianne.”
“Thank you,” I said, catching my breath. “I feel better now.”
“I hope so. Because I don’t! What the fuck am I going to do now?”
“Just stay home!”
“It’s boring. Oh, wait. Maybe I can get him to sneak in through the window,” she surmised. “If he brought me a bottle of tequila, we could just chill here. Let me text him.”
“Okay, please don’t tell me anymore. You shouldn’t do that, but I guess that’s better than going to an illegal bar.”
“Trust me, this virus is nothing. Besides, I’m indestructible, didn’t you know that?”
“I don’t know how I’m going to get through next year with you,” I sighed. “You take all these wild chances.”
“You have to! While you’re young, girl! You can’t do this shit when you’re old! Live a little! Where are you right now?”
“I’m walking around the block. I didn’t want anyone to hear this phone call. I have you on speaker and you’re so loud, your voice is booming in the street.”
“Oh, yeah, guess I could do that. No wait, then I can’t hear you clearly.”
“Well, now I’m embarrassed at what I said,” remarked Diamond. “You should tell a person when you put her on speaker.”
“Understood. That’s on me.”
“By the way, did you talk to Gillian today? You wanna talk about climbing the walls, that girl is up on the wall and across the ceiling!”
“No. I’ve just been so wound up. I feel like I’m in prison!” I complained.
“Traci, you have to get a hold of yourself,” she said. “It isn’t that bad. You got your dad, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And is the mother and your stepbrother really that bad? I mean, really?”
“No.”
“Then why you complaining all the time? Damn. You know what happened to me. My own damned cousin and I was only 14 years old and he was like 22. If I can survive that, you can survive this.”
“I’m not strong like you.”
“You are, girl. You just don’t know it. Trust me. We all find strength within us in times of crisis.”
I suddenly felt at peace. It was something in Diamond’s words that had reached me. Maybe it was her inspirational story of triumph over adversity. Maybe it just was she wasn’t afraid of anything.
If she could be brave at 14, I could be brave as a college student. I was a grown woman now. I had to make my own way.
“Thanks, Diamond. I really needed this talk,” I sighed. “Sorry if I sound all crazy.”
“It’s all right. I’m scared of this virus too. My grandmother’s in the hospital.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I hope she pulls through. How is she?”
“She’s 88. It might be her time, but we’ll see,” she said blithely. “See why you have to live for every moment? I’ll catch you later, girl.”
“Bye.”
I was almost back at the house when I spotted a guy in a mask walking his dog.
“Hey!” he objected. “You don’t have your mask on!”
“Oh, sorry,” I said. “I forgot it. I was walking by myself.”
“Cross the street please,” he said continuing to jog in place. “I don’t want to have to cross the street with my dog.”
I made an annoyed grunt and complied. Who was this guy? The sidewalk police?
“And you’d better get a mask!” he shouted. “What is wrong with you?!”
Giving him an incredulous look, I headed back to the house. Guess I had to have a mask with me at all times. Although that guy didn’t have to be a jerk about it!
“Hey, Tracianne,” greeted dad. “We need some stuff from the store. It’s your turn to go with Phil and make the run.”
“What? No. I don’t want to right now. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Now, Tracianne,” dad insisted. “This is what we agreed to.”
Technically, I didn’t agree to anything. Dad just would make pronouncements and if you didn’t object right then you “agreed” somehow. I thought about whining or crying my way out of it, but no--- I had to be strong, like Diamond.
“Fine,” I griped. “But let me go alone. It’ll be faster.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Phil walking into the room with his mask on. “This won’t take long, c’mon.”
I grabbed a mask. Phil grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me outside. I pulled away.
“Hey! I can get into the car myself,” I objected. “You don’t get to pull me around like a lost child.”
“Sorry, just thought we’d better hurry before work is over.”
We got into the car. Phil was driving.
“Work? Who is still working?” I noted.
“Well, there’s a lot of essential business still open, but yeah--- I guess you’re right. The majority of people are home. Still, it might cut down on the crowd a little.”
We headed to the supermarket. The parking lot was overflowing with cars. There were so many people, there was a line to get in. Since people were social distancing, they would only let so many people in the store at once. Phil had to park in the plaza next store and we had to walk over. All the stores in the plaza were close.
“Weird. It’s like the end of the world,” noted Phil.
“Did dad give you a list or something?”
“Yeah, I think he texted it to you too.”
I looked at my phone. It was a long list of stuff.
“Jeez, how are we going to carry the groceries all the way back to the car?” I asked.
“Duh! Shopping cart,” said Phil.
“Duh! Phil!” I pointed.
The plaza and supermarket’s parking lot didn’t connect. In between was a berm full of flowers and shrubs.
“Okay-okay,” said Phil. “Here’s what we do. When we come out, we move the cart her, I’ll move the car and we pass the groceries over the bushes.”
“Let’s just go back.”
“No way! We’re out of peanut butter.”
“Who cares, Phil! There’s too many people here!”
“I’m not going back and I have the keys, so if you want to wait in the car--- That will just make this take way longer.”
“Fine!”
God! He’s insufferable! This is what I’m talking about! I didn’t ask for this! Phil’s not related to me. Not really, anyway. Why should I be stuck here like this? With him! This isn’t fair!
We argued over some of the stuff in the store, but eventually I just gave up. After waiting in line for a half hour, I just wanted to go home!
Chapter Nine - Tracianne
By the time we got out of the store, it was pouring.
“Great idea, moron!” I complained. “Now we have to go all the way over there!”
“I’ll just pull the car up,” he dismissed.
“No! Are you crazy! Look at this parking lot! It’ll take you forever to get out of here! Let’s just get wet. We’re going to get wet anyway.”
“Fine, you don’t have to be a brat about it.”
“I’m not being a brat! You caused all this! I didn’t even want to come!”
By the time we got to the berm and then Phil moved the car, we got soaked. We loaded up and got inside.
“My God, I’ve never seen it like this,” said Phil. “It’s like a fucking monsoon all of a sudden!”
“It’s called spring rain, dumbass,” I griped. “Thanks a lot! Now I have to get changed and redo my hair!”
“You did your hair? Why? We’re stuck in the house?”
“I like to look nice! Okay?! Maybe try it sometime!”
We rode in silence a bit. I felt I had been a bit harsh, but then he put on the radio. It was some stupid college station and they were playing Drake.
“Can we not?” I whined. “Or at least put something else on.”
“Driver gets to pick the radio, that’s the rule.”
“Shut up,” I said, changing the channel.
“Are you trying to get me into an accident? I’m driving!”
“Fine!”
I turned off the radio.
“What did you do that for?!”
“Well, I didn’t think you needed the radio since you had to concentrate on driving, okay?!” I sneered. “God! You’re such a baby!”
“Look, I am trying to be the tolerant one here. I told your dad I would try and get along with you. You’re not making it easy.”
“What?! You lie! And I’m great to get along with! Normal people get along with me just fine, thank you!” I growled. “You’re the-the-the weirdo!”
He started laughing at me. I couldn’t help it. He was really pissing me off. I turned the radio back on, but to my station.
“Oh, no. No radio now,” he said turning it off.
I turned it back on. We went back and forth until a truck almost hit us. The water it put over the hood was scary. I gasped in shocked. Phil calmly pulled over onto a shoulder which didn’t seem too flooded.
; “What are you doing?”
“I can’t see,” admitted Phil. “It’s too crazy. Let’s just sit here a few minutes and see if it slows down. The whole road is flooded.”
“Well, pull into a parking lot,” I insisted. “Sitting on the side of the road is dangerous in this. People may not see the car.”
“I left the car on. The lights are on,” he said. “People can see the lights.”
“Yeah, but what if they don’t,” I urged.
“And what if a meteor hits us? Jesus, unclench, Tracianne. We’re going to be fine!”
“Will you stop giving me instructions and lectures please! I don’t need mansplaining!”
“Will you just shut up for ten seconds and stop complaining?!”
“I cannot wait to get back home and tell your mother how you treated me!”
“You gonna rat me out to mommy, huh? I’d like to see that! Go ahead!”
“I will!” I said getting into his face.
“Go ahead!” he said leaning in.
Something came over me. I don’t know what. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment. Maybe it was everything, but I went in for a kiss. I mean, I grabbed him and kissed him deep.
He pulled away and we looked at each other. I was half expecting him to start laughing, but he just stared a me for a few seconds.
The next thing you know, we were all over each other. We were making out and trying to get at each other in the car. The seatbelts came off and he pulled me on top of him.
He started dry humping me in the car. I could feel his erection trying to poke out of his pants.
What the hell was I doing? I had lost it. Absolutely lost it. I wanted to tear his clothes off and have sex with him right on the side of the road. I mean, technically it was day time. We were sitting in the car in the day on the side of the road with the windows now all fogged up.
“Oh, man. Oh, my God,” he gasped. “Let’s slow down for a beat.”
He took me off his lap just as someone knocked on the window. I got back in my seat and he rolled it down. It was a cop.
“Hey, you can’t park here,” he said. “I should write you a ticket. What the hell are you doing?”
“I just stopped because of the rain, officer,” explained Phil. “Poor visibility.”