by JG Cully
Victoria frowned but there wasn't anything she could say.
It would be a criminal waste of food to send it back and probably very rude to refuse such a gesture of thanks from the locals. As far as she was concerned the Council of Peace were relatively well regarded and gestures such as these were not uncommon. It was just that gestures of this size were rare. Refusal was not an option; it would be rude to refuse. Added to that, food was expensive in these post-war days, and despite its mass, it did look delicious. Victoria just wasn't sure she could finish it. She doubted even a Fey could finish what had been set in front of her, and it was said that those weird, winged humanoids had hollow legs.
She didn't have hollow legs.
“Well, ah,” Victoria found herself lost for words for once. “please convey our...thanks.”
The orc nodded and wondered off, leaving Victoria staring at her breakfast, lunch and tea rolled into one.
“I've never seen that expression before.” said Malak, studying his colleague.
“That's because this is my scared expression Malak.” replied Victoria, blinking at the steaming pile of cooked meat in front of her that was taking up most of the large plate it sat on.
“Proper scared of that aren't you?” Malak, nodded toward the plate.
Victoria nodded slowly. “Oh Gods, yes.”
“Well, don't worry.” he began, his expression thoughtful. “I mean, I didn't order much so I'm sure I can give you a hand with...”
His encouragement was cut short when a plate of cooked goose was set in front of him with a dull thud. Complete with extra potatoes and veg. This instead of the small order of chicken wings he had expected.
Now they both stared with mute shock.
“Well.” Malak remarked. “We're just proper blessed tonight aren't we?”
Victoria nodded again solemnly. With a distinct lack of confidence she picked up her knife and fork.
“Good luck” she said.
They both dug in, not knowing whether they would survive the experience.
* * * * *
“Alright.” said Gretna. “We'll wait until they're finished, then you two can head over an' explain yourselves.”
Alyssa, Katy and Gretna's heads were each peering out one above the other, through the kitchen door, observing Rodney delivering the larger-than-expected plates of food to the two Council of Peace representatives.
“Gretna, you're either a genius or one of the most cruel people I know.” said Alyssa, not believing what she was seeing.
“Or both.” said the dwarf with an evil smile.
“Sorry to play the dumb blonde,” said the blonde haired Katy, her pigtails bobbing as she cocked her head to one side in confusion, “but I don't understand. Why is stuffing them going to help Alyssa's innocence?”
“Simple.” said Gretna. “You'll have an easier time convincing them of your innocence when they're too stuffed to care.”
Katy shrugged. Fair enough. It was still a weird way of doing it, but then she wasn't a dwarf.
Alyssa meantime was grateful for the help, and this little operation had cemented Katy's position in the team. She was hired, particularly after Gretna had seen how good she was in the kitchen. Number one on the check list for the night was done. Katy had a job! Number two had still to show up. Alyssa gazed out over the dining area. Still no sign of James. Well maybe that wasn't such a bad thing this time round, after all there were two vampire hunters in the room.
She'd get them out of the way first, then worry about James later. She really hoped he'd still come down though. She really did.
* * * * *
It took twenty five minutes for the two of them to admit defeat.
“Oh I give up.”
Victoria dropped her knife and fork on the table and leaned back, letting out a breath of exhaustion. She had managed to get through around three quarters of the meal but a large chunk of meat still sat on the plate staring at her, daring her to continue. However, the far larger amount of meat currently in her stomach was making a good argument for not continuing.
I can't. I'm too full. Politeness be damned, I'd rather not die of meat poisoning.
She felt her jaw, aching from the constant chewing.
“You ok Malak?” she said, glancing over at him.
He had his fist to his mouth, stifling a belch.
“I'm done.” he managed, waving his hand. His own meal was only half finished. “And I have a request.”
“Go ahead.” she replied.
“We don't come back here again. Ever. Free drinks I can stand, but this...this is pure killing with kindness.”
“Agreed.” Victoria felt her stomach, heavy with meat. She was having doubts as to whether she would be able to get up from her seat.
Her brain was utterly fried. There was no way she would be able to complete any reports tonight let alone make any accurate conclusions about their discoveries (or lack thereof) from the day. They would have to leave it till tomorrow.
“We'll complete things tomorrow Malak.” she said.
The relief on Malak’s face was obvious.
“Thank the Gods for that at least.”
She waved over to the waiting barmaids.
They were pretty much the last people left in the tavern. Most of the other customers were gone, with only a few drunks by the bar top and the barmaids, leaning up against the bar, watching.
Obviously waiting for us to finish thought Victoria. Or give up.
“Thank you.” said the female dwarf who approached them first, taking a plate in either hand.
“Oh also, I thinks a couple of my staff want to have a word.” she said, nodding over at two young girls still waiting by the bar.
“Oh?” managed Victoria, halfway to standing and then thinking better of it.
“Aye. Think it's a tad private mind.”
Victoria and Malak exchanged confused expressions.
“Well, we are kind of...” (Full beyond our means she wanted to say) “...busy” she managed, without belching out the word.
“It'll only take a sec, don't want to keep ya."
Victoria reluctantly nodded. She was too full to care and slumped back down, trying her best not to slouch in her seat.
The dwarf signalled to the two girls and they hurried over. They both seemed quite shy, their eyes darting about as they approached. There was a blonde one, looking like she was around sixteen and had one of those stupidly cutesy pigtail hairstyles. The other one appeared somewhat older with short black hair and glasses. They both shuffled nervously once they were by the table.
“Your friend said you wanted to talk?” said Victoria, not having any clue what this was about but finding herself forced to see what was going on. If it was Council of Peace business she needed to hear it. Even if she doubted she'd remember it, not in her current state.
“I'm sorry miss.” said the older looking girl, taking a step forward. She curtsied awkwardly, an unnecessary gesture but Victoria didn't bother reprimanding the girl for it.
Victoria felt an oddness pass over her as the girl approached. She shuddered involuntarily, a shiver creeping up her spine for a moment. The girl seemed to notice.
“It's just I overheard you talking. About a dead man?”
Victoria's eyes shot up, staring straight into the girl's.
“What?”
“I'm sorry miss.” the girl avoided her glare, her head down and hands fiddling with her glasses. “It's just, your description. He sounded very much like the man me and Katy encountered.”
Ok, now you have my attention thought Victoria.
“Go on.” The oddness remained, almost like a pressure around her. Victoria was putting it down to the meal she had just had and trying to ignore it. Maybe it was just a result of feeling this ill? This was the first time she had attempted to devour what was effectively an entire cow. She had already made the important decision of never attempting said act again.
“Well, we...” the girl looked
over at the other girl, obviously 'Katy', and the blonde girl took up the tale.
“I was attacked by a fat man last night. Alyssa here came and saved me. She knocked him out and we left him for the militia to find in an alley off Holt Street.”
“And you think he's the same man we were talking about?” said Victoria.
The two girls nodded in unison.
“Ok.” Victoria nodded. “Well, thank you.”
“Um. There's more.” said Katy, looking over at the other one again.
Katy seemed to be waiting for the older girl to talk but she didn't, shaking her head vigorously and fidgeting with her glasses again. The girl called Katy seemed to get the message and continued.
“Alyssa heard you mentioning about...” she glanced around before she leaned in close, dropping her voice. “...something about hunting a vampire.”
Victoria closed her eyes.
Damn it, I knew we shouldn't have talked shop in this place.
“She's worried that because she beat up the fat man, that you might, you know...”
She nodded her head toward Alyssa.
“...think she was a vampire?”
Victoria opened her eyes. She allowed a slight smile (only slight) to appear, making even Malak take notice.
“I don't think there's any danger of that.” she assured them.
The older girl looked instantly relieved.
“Oh thank you.” she said, visible relaxing. “I was so worried.”
“Yes, well.” Victoria nodded. “You did the right thing clearing that up. I'll need you both to put it in writing though.”
“Already done.” said a voice.
Victoria looked round to find the dwarf woman holding up a parchment beside her.
She blinked, raising an eyebrow.
“Sorry.” said the dwarf, though she didn't sound like she meant it. “Me husband’s a member of the militia. I remember him telling me how these things go. What the girls have just told you is all here and both their signatures. Separate statements.”
She set the parchment before Victoria.
Well, this is all very convenient.
Procedure dictated that she check the statements of course. She grimaced as she felt her painfully stretched stomach groan.
Oh to hell with it.
“Thank you.” she said, deciding escape was preferable. “I think that's all we'll need then. I don't think either of you need have worried, it's probably not even the same guy.”
She caught the three barmaids exchanging smiles.
“That's great.” said the dwarf. “Was worried ya would be carting me best maid off to jail!”
“No chance.” Victoria reassured her.
Definitely not now anyway. I'm going to sleep well tonight. Or die.
“I have one request though." said Victoria
“Go ahead.” replied the dwarf.
“Could you summon a coach please? I think we're going to need it.”
She caught Malak mouthing 'thank you' to her from across the table before lying on his crossed arms again. With everything straightened out the maids returned to the bar, leaving Victoria and Malak. Victoria felt the oddness from earlier disappear thankfully. She had been concerned she was going to throw up during the girl’s explanation.
Thank the Gods that's over.
* * * * *
“You are never choosing the tavern again.”
It didn't take long for a coach to be summoned for the two of them and thankfully it was one with cushions for both of them to rest their exhausted bodies on. Victoria was steadying herself on the railing on the inside of the coach as it rattled through the night, allowing her to absorb some of the bumps in the road.
“Point taken.” Malak managed. He was doing the same, trying to roll with the potholes without throwing up.
“I've never eaten so much in my life.” gasped Victoria, her other hand on her stomach.
“Same here.” replied Malak. “That was a bloody big bird.”
“I think mine was a whole cow.”
“You know what I think?” he said next, looking over at her.
“What?”
“We need to stop doing such a good job,” he said with a slightly cheeky smile. “cause if this is the reward...”
“Very funny.”
“Still.” Victoria mused, looking out the coach window as the night time lanterns flashed past. “I learned one thing.”
“What's that?”
“Skipping breakfast is a bad idea.”
* * * * *
Alyssa and Katy watched out of the tavern's front shutter windows as the coach disappeared into the night. Only when it was completely gone did they both breathe a sigh of relief.
“Thank the Gods that's over.” breathed Alyssa, slumping down on a nearby chair, hand on her head.
“I kind of feel sorry for them.” said Katy, casting Alyssa a look. “They didn't look well.”
“Me too actually,” Alyssa's own over-drinking episode was still fresh in her memory. “but at least they won't be back.”
“They gone then?” said Gretna, approaching the girls with her arms crossed.
“Yes.” said Alyssa. She gave Gretna a relieved smile. “I could kiss you Gretna.”
“Ya would regret that” replied the dwarf, though not with malice. “But I'll accept repayment of another kind.”
“Repayment?”
Gretna smiled slyly, as the fox smiles before the chicken coop.
“Oh,” said Alyssa, the dawn of realisation creeping over her face. “Oh dear.”
“Tomorrow night, corset and something tight.” ordered the dwarf, before turning on her heel and marching back into the kitchen.
Katy raised an eyebrow.
“Don't ask.” said Alyssa.
Just then the tavern's door swung open with a bang and a panting figure in a brown work cloak entered. All eyes turned.
“Am I too late?” asked the figure as he pulled his hood back and looked around the dining room.
Alyssa's face lit up.
“James!” she squealed before leaping from her chair for him, grabbing him in a bear hug.
She stopped herself rather abruptly.
Well, I'm an idiot.
She let him go, blushing fiercely
“Ah, sorry.” She fixed her glasses again. “I mean, so glad you could make it.”
“My pleasure.” replied James, more than a little taken aback but certainly not complaining. Katy was busy looking at both of them with a puzzled expression on her face.
“Oh, sorry Katy. This is James. James, this is Katy.”
“Hello.” The two of them shook hands.
“Hey.” returned Katy. “Your boyfriend?”
Both James and Alyssa coughed at the same time, before laughing nervously. Katy rolled her eyes.
“Kids these days.” she muttered with a smirk before turning to head over to the kitchen and help with the clean up. Giving the two would be lovers some time alone.
Alyssa smiled broadly and James had the good sense to melt before it.
“So glad you could make it,” she said, feeling her cheeks still burning (one of the few feelings she could still enjoy).
“Glad I could come,” he said. “Sorry I wasn't here earlier. Work was hard today.”
I'm not sorry you arrived late thought Alyssa. You just missed me having a freaking heart attack!
“It was busy here too.”
No point in lying.
“Ah, grab yourself a drink.” she advised, gesturing over to the bar. “I've just to clean up and then we can....talk.”
She suppressed the urge to giggle.
You're an adult now!
A little while later the tavern was more or less cleared, the stragglers taking the hint and getting ready to leave. Alyssa asked for a little time with James, which Gretna duly agreed to. With a little reminder of her obligations for the next night of course (“no excuses!”).
At last, she sat d
own opposite him with a drink of water (safe choice), he with a mug of cider.
He was still looking nervous but managed to smile sweetly.
“Hey.” she said, flashing him a smile in return.
He beamed, grinning broadly.
“Hey.”
They sat in silence (as silent as a tavern at clear up time can be). Neither one of them was entirely sure how to proceed.
“We're bonding aren't we?” said James at length.
Alyssa's smile grew. She beckoned him to lean forward. He, a little unsure, complied. He was rewarded with a kiss on the lips. His breathing was quick and she could practically feel his heart beating. She leaned back a little.
“Are we ok?” she asked with a sly smile, enjoying once again being the more experienced one of the relationship.
“Oh yeah.” he managed with a grin. They kissed again, much longer this time.
When they did break it off she found his eyes closed and a very goofy grin plastered over his face.
You poor sap, she thought. Falling in love with a vampire. Well I can't really talk. I'm falling in love with a human.
She was suddenly aware of someone watching. She glanced across to find Katy staring, her head cocked to one side with a very silly smile on her face.
“Do you mind?” said Alyssa, not unkindly, returning the girls smile.
“You guys make a cute couple.” observed Katy, maintaining her smile.
“Thanks.” Alyssa thought for a second. “I've a favour to ask.”
She stood from the table. James didn't seem to notice, he was leaning on one hand, eyes closed, breathing steadily and still displaying a silly smile. She wondered if that was the result of some vampiric power she was unaware of or if it was just his reaction to being kissed by a girl. Either way it was cute.
“Can you help me tomorrow night?” she asked Katy “I'll need someone to help me into the, ah...” she stumbled for words, not liking the idea of wearing a...