She would have guessed the volcano was farther from Waikiki Beach, but they arrived in twenty minutes. The hike up was a little more strenuous than she expected, the last third of the journey was up a set of stairs and through a tunnel that burrowed into the mountain. She definitely got her cardio in for the day. She could feel the burn in her thighs and glutes when they finally made it to the top.
But the view was worth it.
The vista was probably one of the most incredible she’d ever seen. They explored the rim of the volcano, but what struck her the most was the view of Honolulu. The rain had stopped and shafts of sunlight shot through the dissipating clouds, illuminating the ocean, beach, and green expanse of the island. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear she was looking down on heaven.
“Wow,” she said reverently.
“Reminds you how small people are in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t it?” Lukas slipped his hands in his pockets, his gaze sweeping the horizon.
Downtown looked tiny, when the buildings had towered over her head a few days before. She took a breath and let it out. Aunt Eloise would have loved this view, would have insisted right up until her stroke that she could make that hike no matter what anyone else said. The thought made Julie smile.
She spread her arms wide, extending her fingers to let the breeze wash over her skin. It was good to be here, good to be alive and doing what she was doing. She couldn’t ask for anything more. Maybe that meant her grief was finally starting to loosen its stranglehold on her heart. Life went on. She’d always miss Eloise, her mother, and everyone else she’d ever lost, but she had to embrace living again. She felt like she’d been a zombie the last year, just going through the motions without truly feeling any of it. Like her emotions were wrapped in a cocoon so thick nothing else could penetrate it.
Until now.
Maybe it had been getting away from everything, maybe it had been the electric connection of meeting Lukas, but something had jolted her out of her funk. It felt amazingly good. This was exactly what she’d needed. Perspective, distance, a chance to do nothing other than breathe, relax and exist.
She let her arms drop and hugged herself. “This is paradise. I love it here.”
“Planning to relocate?” Lukas turned his head to look at her.
“No, though I can see myself coming back for another trip some time. I still love Half Moon Bay, and my friends and business are there.”
His lips twitched at the corners. “Your business where you make naughty bikinis.”
“Among other things.” She blew a raspberry at him. “Like sweaters and gloves and socks and scarves. Mostly I teach classes and make and sell yarn, though.”
His squinted as if considering that. “I’m guessing your classes are more hands-on than mine.”
“Yeah, no one has to sit through a lecture with me,” she said in a superior tone. “Think of it more as a lab section. Only a three-week version of a lab section, but I do assign homework.”
“Do they get graded?”
It figured he’d want details on how things were evaluated. Always the scientist. But it was nice to banter back and forth. He seemed to have relaxed a bit. She turned into him, slipping her arms around his waist. “No, you can’t fail my classes. You just lose money if you don’t show up. You may need to come back for tutoring if you’re bad at it though.”
His grin was all kinds of wicked. “I’d love to see you tutor someone on bikini crocheting.”
“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Standing on tiptoe meant she could brush her mouth against his.
“Never.” He nipped at her lower lip. “I’m going to have sexual fantasies about how you looked in that thing until the day I die.”
“You plan to go out as a dirty old man, huh?”
“Sure, why not?” He threaded his fingers through her hair, and after a moment his smile slid away. His eyes darkened. “We should probably head back down.”
“Sure.” She linked her arm with his as they started walking to the stairs. “You seem sad, Lukas. Care to talk about it?”
He sighed. “I don’t think it would help.”
At least he didn’t deny something was wrong. She wasn’t sure how much that was worth, but it was better than him acting like she had a screw loose for thinking he was off today.
“You never know until you try.” She glanced over her shoulder as they took the many steps down. “It made me feel better to talk to you.”
His sigh was even heavier this time. “I got an email from my ex-wife. There was a mix up at the DMV and somehow my name was left on the title for her car.”
“And it took her this many years to figure it out?” Not that Julie checked the title paperwork for her vehicle very often, but still.
“Apparently. She wants to sell it and can’t because my name is still listed as co-owner. It’s just…” He shook his head. “Hearing from her threw me for a loop, and I hate that.”
It sounded like the contact had affected him on a deep level, and a vicious, jealous knife twisted inside Julie’s chest. She didn’t want him deeply affected by anyone but her. Even if she had no real claim on him, she felt what she felt. Possessive. It was a struggle to keep her voice even. “So you still care about her?”
“God no.” He sounded horrified, and the loud burst of his words echoed in the long cement tunnel through the volcano. “I honestly wish I’d never met her. Marrying her was the biggest mistake of my life, and her email today just rubbed my face in it.” His laugh was harsh. “No matter what, there’s no real escaping your past.”
“Wherever you go, there you are.” They reached the bottom of the steps, and she took his hand. Emotions crowded inside her, and she wasn’t entirely sure what else to say. She’d never seen him this upset. Her usually unflappable professor had been hit hard and she wanted to take the pain away, even though it was impossible.
“Yeah.” He squeezed her fingers so tightly it hurt. “I just want…”
He headed down the mountain, still gripping her hand, and she had to scurry to keep up. “You want?”
“Circumstances to be different.” He hunched a shoulder in a shrug. “But they aren’t.”
His vagueness worried her. Was it just his divorce that he wished were different? Or were there other “circumstances” he wanted to change? She waited a few minutes before she spoke again. “Is there anything besides the email that’s bothering you?”
The troubled look he shot her said she’d hit the nail on the head. “Yes, but it’s not something I can discuss with you.” He leaned in to kiss her forehead, the touch almost reverent. “It’s our last day together, and I’d like to focus on enjoying it. Okay?”
“Okay.” She sighed, knowing she wouldn’t get more out of him right now. “Though, for the record, you can discuss anything with me.”
“We’ll agree to disagree on that.” He ruffled her hair. She squeaked and ducked away, but he caught her close. “Careful, mein Liebling. The slope is steeper than you think.”
She took the opportunity to press her lips to his, and she was rewarded with a slow, lingering kiss that curled her toes. He held her a little too tight, as if he never wanted to let her go. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on her part. A wolf-whistle broke them apart, and she grinned. “Hey, at least it wasn’t the giggling girls.”
He snorted. “With any luck, that group has headed home. Let’s go before someone calls the police on us for public indecency.”
“Aw, it was just a kiss. We weren’t even copping a feel.” The second she turned around, her foot slipped out from under her.
Her heart stopped, and Lukas grabbed her right arm, but she still landed hard on her left hip. Muddy water oozed through her clothes as she sat there, taking stock of any aches and pains. Nothing too bad, actually. Her damp backside was going to be the most uncomfortable part.
“Are you all right?” Lukas squatted beside her, running his hands over her to check for injuries.
“Yeah.” She wrinkled her nose and let him pull her to her feet. “Well, it wasn’t the steepness that got me, it was the wetness.”
“You’re sure you’re okay?” A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he was pale around the mouth.
“I’m sure, hon, I promise.” She tried swiping at her shorts, but they were soaked and dirt-smeared. “Well, that’s gross. I don’t think they’ll let me back on the bus this way.”
She shrugged fatalistically, unfastened her shorts and stripped down to her bathing suit. A little immodest for most places, but in Hawaii, she doubted anyone would look at her twice. Turning her shorts inside out so the dirt was contained, she then folded them and tucked them under her arm. Her bikini bottoms would dry fast enough, so she would be fine.
Lukas cupped his palm, tipped a bit of his water into it, and wiped the remaining mud from her leg. He even managed not to get any of the liquid on her shoes and socks. He inspected his work and nodded. “That should do it.”
“Thanks. Ready to go?”
When he didn’t respond, she glanced down at him. He had the strangest look on his face, then he huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “You’re really not upset, are you?”
“Look, I don’t sweat the small stuff. That’s never been my thing, but after this year?” She snorted. “If I didn’t have a meltdown over giving up a good job, relocating my entire life, changing careers, and losing one of the people I loved the most in the whole world, I’m sure as hell not going to freak out over a little mud, or a flat tire, or whatever.”
He said carefully, “Some of the women I know would have been more than a little pissy about all those things.”
“Shit happens. I’m not thrilled when it does, but dirt washes off, tires can be changed, and life goes on. Part of me coming here was about getting on with my life, and I think I’m ready. Or as ready as I’ll ever be. Acceptance is kind of the key. You have to accept what you can’t control, or it’ll drive you crazy.”
He made an odd choking noise. “You have no idea how right you are.”
She propped a hand on her hip, sudden suspicion narrowing her gaze. “Would these women you’re referring to include your ex-wife?”
“In a major way.” He nodded.
“Well, I’m not her, and not all women flip over every little thing.” And if he was shoving her into a category with a woman he wished he’d never met, he wasn’t likely to want to date her when they got back to the mainland.
“So I’m learning.” He offered her his hand, a small smile playing around his mouth.
She twined their fingers. “But if you’re that worried about my crash landing, you can give me a massage later. To help me work out any stiffness.”
“Sure.” His grin widened.
He kept her hand securely in his the rest of the way down the trail, clearly intending to make sure she didn’t fall again. Without any covering on her legs, a second fall was likely to scrape the hell out of her skin. Not her idea of fun, so she watched her step.
Once they were seated on the bus, she leaned in to whisper in his ear. “When we get back, want to come to my room and help me clean up?”
Fire burned in his gaze, so hot she thought it might scorch her. His fingers twitched as if he wanted to reach for her, but then stopped himself. “You don’t have anything else you’d rather do on your last night in Hawaii? Maybe that sunset catamaran sail?”
“I like sailing. If that’s what you’d prefer to do, I’m happy to go with you. But I’d rather do you.” If this was their final evening together, then she wanted it to be a one to remember.
God, they were leaving tomorrow. The thought made her chest squeeze with pain. She didn’t want this to end. She’d tried not to dwell on the looming deadline on their vacation, but they’d ticked down from days remaining to mere hours. Swallowing hard, she smoothed a hand down her hair.
She loved him.
How had it happened so fast? It was insane. No one fell in love in seven days. It was supposed to take months, years, but the connection had been immediate and deep. Undeniable.
With the weirdness of the day, she was even less confident than ever that he’d say yes to getting together back home, but she had to ask. She had to try. Even if it meant she went home with a bruised and battered heart. She might only have the courage to ask him for a simple date, but she wanted a whole lot more. If she were looking for a fresh start on her life, she’d like to have it with him.
Lukas would certainly be the best Christmas present she’d ever received.
Chapter Ten
He was so fucking weak. Lukas sighed as he followed Julie up to her room. His ability to resist her was pathetic. He’d told himself to cut things off and walk away, but after he’d spent a frustrating morning on the phone with DMV, all he’d wanted was to be near her. It was so easy to unwind with her, to relax and laugh and look on the bright side. He wasn’t very good at that himself.
When he’d gone downstairs, he’d fully intended to find some breakfast, maybe take a walk, or go swimming. Alone. But as if they had a will of their own, his feet had carried him toward the loungers Julie liked to lie on. She might not have been there, but she was. And some jackass had been hitting on her. Lukas had no right to be jealous, but he was. Jesus, he was an idiot. A masochist of the worst order. Using her to ease his pain was only going to make it harder to walk away from her. He’d come so close to unburdening himself about everything that had happened with Lilith, telling Julie how fucked up it had all gotten, and if they hadn’t been in public where anyone hiking the volcano could listen in, he probably would have.
“Want to help me wash my back?” Her gamine glance lured him like a Lorelei as she unlocked her door and walked into her room.
He followed her because there was no other choice. For as long as this trip lasted, he’d give in to his craving for her, but the minutes were ticking down. “Isn’t it your legs that need washing?”
“There, too,” she agreed. “I guess you’ll have to conduct a full inspection, Professor. I’m sure you’ll do a thorough job.”
“I’ll make a study of it.”
She kicked off her shoes, pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside, then stripped out of her bikini as she walked to the bathroom. Her slender back and round buttocks were a view worth committing to permanent memory. He just stood there, staring at her because he could, because it might be the last time.
Arching an eyebrow, she glanced over her shoulder. “Coming?”
“Often and with great enthusiasm.”
She laughed the way he wanted her to, though his chest was so tight with emotion he couldn’t acknowledge he was surprised he could still breathe. Shaking himself, he took out a condom, shucked his clothes and entered the bathroom. She was bent over adjusting the water. He groaned, the sound echoing in the small space. She looked back, her grin knowing. She wriggled her backside for him and his cock hardened to the point of pain. Pulling the knob that sent water gushing from the showerhead, she hopped into the tub.
He sheathed himself with the condom, stepped in behind her, and slid the curtain closed. Water pelted down on them and filled the air with wispy steam. She turned to face him, her mouth opened to speak, but he didn’t let her get a single word out. He took her lips in a soul-searing kiss. He wanted to lock in the flavor of her forever, so he’d never forget it. There wasn’t a single second of this week he wanted to lose from memory. He put everything he felt but couldn’t say in that kiss. There was so much he wanted with her, but he couldn’t have it. Not if he wanted to keep his sanity in the process.
His palms stroked over every damp inch of her that he could reach, trying to memorize the curves and planes of her figure. The water sealed their bodies together, made the glide of their flesh an erotic thrill. He wanted to take it slowly, but she had other ideas. Her fingers danced across his skin, robbing him of thought. When she cupped his balls, massaging the soft sac, he backed her up against the shower wall.
&nb
sp; Lifting her so she could twine her legs around his waist, he groaned as he eased her down on his erection. She whimpered, her arms wrapping around his neck to hang on for the ride. He fitted his palms over her ass, holding her in place for his thrusts. There was nothing that felt as fantastic as being inside her, forging their bodies into one. The heated water slid in beads down their limbs, adding another layer to the sensations.
He shoved his tongue into her mouth with the same rhythm he used to penetrate her sex, and her thighs clamped tight on his hips, her heels digging into his buttocks to spur him on. Not that he needed any encouragement. There was no holding back from her. This was all he could give her, and he wanted her to scream his name in ecstasy before he was done with her. Pistoning his cock into her channel, he raced her for orgasm, pushing her hard and fast the way he knew she liked. He ground his pelvis into her sensitive little clit, and she bucked against him.
“Lukas!” She threw her head back against the wall, sobbing as she shook apart in his arms. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and her sex fisted on his cock in pulses that ripped his control to pieces. He couldn’t wait, exploding into her warm, giving body. His climax went on forever as she dragged everything out of him. But he didn’t want it to end. He never wanted it to end, and there was no choice. There never had been. He groaned, the sound as much pleasure as pain and he pounded into her until she shuddered with completion again and buried her face in his shoulder.
They rested against each other, gasping in the steamy air. He didn’t know how much time had passed before she stirred. Reluctantly, he let her regain her feet. They finished showering in silence, and he assumed she was as wrapped up in her thoughts as he was in his.
She shut down the water and climbed out first. He followed more slowly, grabbed one of the spare towels lying folded on the rack above the toilet, and rubbed the terrycloth over his body.
Julie let herself air dry while she ran a brush through her hair, her gaze meeting his in the foggy bathroom mirror. “So…I was wondering if you’re available for dinner.”
Hawaiian Holiday: Destination Desire, Book 2 Page 12