by J. R. Tate
“How do you do it?” he asked, whispering.
“Do what?” Her warm breath tickled his face.
“In the middle of all of this, you still stay positive. You try to bring the good out of me. You’ve stuck by me, even with everyone else pretty much throwing me in jail. I don’t understand…”
“I know you, Charlie. You’re not capable of this.” She looked deep into his eyes, her blue irises bright.
It made Charlie’s heart flutter. This was dangerous territory. He had known her since they were in elementary school, and here they were on her couch and all he wanted to do was kiss her. He’d always liked Mary, but the fear of messing up the friendship kept him from trying anything more, but now he couldn’t control it. Not after everything she had done for him.
Leaning in, he brushed his lips over hers, keeping eye contact with her the whole time. If she gave any indication she didn’t want it, he’d stop, but he couldn’t keep himself from trying. It was like there was some gravitational pull between them, hindering any chance to avoid the physical contact.
Her hand skimmed through his hair, sending a chill down his spine, and the kiss grew more passionate as she opened her mouth, inviting him to taste more of her. Delving his tongue inside, it searched the inside of her mouth. Her teeth clamped down on his bottom lip for a gentle bite, before she slipped her tongue in his mouth. She tasted minty, with a hint of beer on her breath.
Stopping, Charlie rested his head on her forehead. “We have to be careful,” he whispered. “With everything. I’m always being watched.”
“I know. To hell with them, Charlie.” Mary pecked her lips against his.
“I love you, Mary. I’ve always loved you.”
Their foreheads remained pressed together and Mary pulled on his hair. “I love you too, Charlie.”
Picking her up off of the couch, he cradled her in his arms and carried her to her bedroom, laying her back on the bed. Staring up at him, he had never felt like this, not even with Cassie. Dipping his head, he kissed her again with the same passion as he slipped his hand under her shirt, kneading her breast above her bra. The satin fabric was friction against his palm, and she moaned into his mouth when he moved his hand under it, the skin on skin contact sensual. She lifted her back and he followed her lead, pulling her shirt over her head.
“If I go too far, just tell me. I’ll stop.” Charlie fumbled with the clasp on her bra and the straps trained down her shoulders.
“You won’t go too far,” Mary said.
He felt his shirt lift and her fingers trailed up and down his stomach.
He opened his eyes to see a look of contentment on Mary’s face. Guiding her hand to the button and zipper, he aided in her freeing him from his boxers. The touch almost sent him over the edge and the love he felt before had grown exponentially.
She was ready for him, but he wanted to take his time. He wasn’t sure how long he could compose himself. Was he about to make love to Mary, the girl he had grown up with? It was a dream, and finally something good happening for him.
“You sure you wanna do this?” Charlie asked. He wanted this bad.
“Yes, Charlie. Please, make love to me.”
It felt right, but it also felt wrong. Skylar was out there, missing, and he was about to have sex. For a second, he almost backed out of it, but Mary looked up at him, her sexy gaze mesmerizing, hindering him from even thinking about it twice. He couldn’t resist it anymore. He got lost in her scent and her warmth, losing sense of everything around him. This was what it felt like to make love to the woman he loved. All of those years with Cassie felt like a lie, and he pushed the thought aside. This was about Mary. This was about what she wanted.
Hugging her from behind, he kept his face against her damp hair, taking every bit in. It had happened. He and Mary had made love. It felt like a dream.
“Say something, Mary.”
Turning, she stayed enveloped in his arms. He had never seen such satisfaction on someone’s face. Mascara smeared around her eyes and her hair was plastered to her forehead. She was beautiful.
“You’ve thanked me so much. Now it’s my turn to thank you, Charlie.”
“For what?” He smoothed some hair out of her face.
“For what just happened. I’ve always loved you as a friend, and tonight, I’m glad we’ve finally taken it to the next level. Now I can love you as more.”
Charlie left it at that. She had put it perfectly, and if he said anything else, it’d ruin the moment. Instead, Mary rested her head against his chest and for the first time since Skylar had disappeared, he felt relaxed. The guilt was still there, but at that moment, he was going to enjoy Mary next to him, skin against skin, their naked bodies like one. It was inevitable that the negative feelings would creep back up. Until then, he was going to savor the small bit of happiness with Mary.
***
Mary felt his body behind her. His warmth overtook her, making her feel secure. It was comfortable and she didn’t want to move. Using the bathroom could wait. If she got up, it’d ruin the moment, and she didn’t want to wake him. She and Charlie had shared the bed before, but this is the first time it didn’t feel like there was a wall dividing them. Skin on skin contact – his breath tickling her neck as he leaned in, breathing deeply as he snoozed. It was the first time since Skylar had gone missing that Mary had seen him rest so well.
Before that night, Charlie was her best friend. Now things had moved forward, and they were more than that – they were lovers. She had felt him inside of her, fitting like the last piece of a puzzle she couldn’t figure out. When Mary shifted her weight, the soreness was a reminder of what they had been up to just a few hours before.
She often thought about Charlie on a romantic level. It was hard not to. Since they were kids, she always thought he was cute, and never in her wildest dreams did Mary expect that he’d grow up to be as handsome as he was. He was goofy Charlie, the guy who always told awkward jokes and stories to break the ice. The guy who loved attention, but also wanted space. It was true. Mary had always loved him, but tonight, it was like an inferno burning deep inside of her, and it killed her to know that this moment of bliss was temporary. Charlie would soon wake up to the same problems – Skylar missing, the cops harassing him, and his ex wife Cassie and her baggage.
Would this be a one-time thing? The sex was amazing, and Mary hoped it would continue, but if it were a distraction Charlie didn’t need, she’d let him go. She didn’t want to put him in another tough spot with everything else he was going through. Hopefully it’d never be a question.
Turning on her side to face him, Charlie’s arms stayed around her and he didn’t wake up. His eyelids fluttered and he muttered something, but his deep breathing continued. Mary took a moment to admire him. How could something as simple as disheveled hair be such a turn on?
Her finger traced the silver chain that rested on his tan skin. It was a necklace he wore every day, and though she noticed it before, she finally took a second to actually look at it. It was a cross, which surprised her. Charlie never was much of a religious man.
The charm fell back against his bare chest, sliding in between his pectoral muscles. Scooting in closer, she rested her head on him and felt his heart beat. It was steady with the rise and fall of his chest, and it made her doze off again, relaxing in his arms.
When she woke again, she didn’t feel Charlie beside her. Sitting up, she realized she was still naked, and pulled the sheet over her chest, confused for a few seconds. The bathroom door was shut and she heard the shower running. For a split second, she debated on going in there, but what if he was in a different mood than last night? What if he thought this was a huge mistake? It would be embarrassing and she didn’t want to risk it.
Instead, she pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and went into the kitchen. She didn’t have to be at work for another two hours. Pulling out a carton of eggs and some bacon, she decided to make a hot breakfast to start both of their
first days off right.
Mary laid the bacon out flat in the frying pan and turned the burner on, gripping the spatula. She jumped when she felt his hand on her stomach, hugging her from behind. Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled at Charlie, taking in his fresh scent. He had shaved, and she missed the stubble, but even without it, he was gorgeous. He smelled musky and his damp hair was still out of control.
“You want breakfast?” Mary asked, flipping the slices of bacon.
“After last night I’ve definitely worked up an appetite.”
Turning, Mary got her first good look of him. He had on the mechanic shop shirt with his name sewn over the left pocket. It wasn’t anything special – just a blue button up shirt, but she felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight of him.
“I’ve got coffee going if you want some.” She pointed the spatula toward the coffee pot and sipped on her own. With his flirty hug, it calmed her nerves – maybe he didn’t view last night as a regret but she still felt like she needed to tread lightly.
“What time do you gotta go in?” Charlie asked, pouring a steaming cup.
“Not until nine.”
Charlie nodded and leaned against the counter, picking a piece of bacon from the plate. “I should probably go after I eat. I’m dreading how the shop will look with me being gone for so long.”
“Todd is a good worker, right?” Mary put the plate of bacon and eggs on the table and Charlie joined her. She served him a little of each and nibbled on her own, her stomach in knots over the fact that they hadn’t said much about what had happened. Maybe he wasn’t sure how she felt and was avoiding it until he knew.
“Yeah, Todd is Todd. You know how it is after time off.”
“Thankfully I work in a bar.” Mary laughed and patted him on the arm. “You nervous?”
“Nah. Just dreading it. I’m not sure how this town views me after everything.” Charlie spread his hands and looked passed her at the wall. “It’s one thing to actually commit the crime, but when you’re accused, even if you didn’t do it, it’s a stain that never goes away. Until Skylar is found, everyone is gonna have it in the back of their mind that I did it. Guilty until proven innocent.”
Mary shook her head and squeezed his hand. “Everyone knows you. They know you didn’t hurt her. They know, Charlie.”
“Tell that to the newspaper. My face has been slapped across the front page more than Lindsay Lohan’s on the National Enquirer. Let me ask you something.” Charlie leaned forward in his chair and took a drink from his coffee mug. “How many times have you watched the news or read an article about someone and thought, oh yeah, this jackass did this? Without even knowing the facts, have you ever judged someone off of media alone?”
Mary dipped a piece of bacon in her egg yolk and thought about it. “Yeah, I hate to admit it, but I have.”
“Me too. It’s human nature. And I guarantee that’s what is happening outside that front door.”
“I know it’s easier said than done, but who cares what they think? You know you didn’t do anything. I know you didn’t. The truth will come out.”
Charlie picked at his food, but didn’t eat all of it. His lack of appetite worried Mary, but at least he ate something. “I just want her home, Mary. I want to know she’s okay. I think about her all the time. What is she going through? Is someone out there hurting her? Raping her?” His voice cracked. “Not knowing… not having closure is killing me. Maybe she’d be better off if she were dead, you know? Shit, I hate myself for thinking like that. What kind of man thinks that about his daughter?”
“I get what you’re saying, Charlie. You don’t want her to suffer.” Mary scooted her chair closer to him, pulling him in for a hug. “You know I’m here for you, yeah?”
Charlie nodded into her shoulder. “Of course.”
“I meant it when I told you I loved you last night.”
Charlie lifted his head, his eyes red and on the verge of crying. “I meant every word too, Mary. I’m glad it happened. I’m glad we made love.”
“Me too.” Mary felt relieved. Finally, something was said. “You’re a good man. I hope you know that too.”
Leaning toward her, Charlie cupped the back of her head, his mouth taking hers, his tongue darting in and out. She tasted the coffee on his breath, took in his aftershave, and felt his smooth skin against hers. She wasn’t sure how it happened, but she straddled him on the kitchen chair, the friction between their hips arousing. Their combined weight made the chair feel unstable – it wasn’t built for what they were about to do.
Charlie’s hand slipped behind her, never breaking the kiss. A deep growl escaped his throat and he bucked upward, thrusting against her, their clothes serving as the only barrier from skin on skin contact.
Mary longed for him, feeling a pang of desire. As fast as it started, it stopped, and Charlie broke the kiss, looking at his watch.
“If we go any farther I’m going to be late on my first day back.”
Yet neither of them moved. Charlie stared deep into her eyes as he ran his hands down her hair. How did he have the self-control to halt what they were doing?
Mary pecked him on the mouth, biting his lower lip as they continued to stare into each other’s eyes. “I guess you better get to work.”
“To be continued?” he asked, his eyes squinting into a smile.
“It better be,” Mary replied, finally forcing herself off of him. It was a challenge to resist him.
Standing, he adjusted his shirt and raked his hand through his hair. “Last night when we were making love, I felt guilty. My daughter is missing and here I am, pleasuring myself with the company of my best friend. But at the same time, nothing has ever felt as right as being with you, Mary. Before I fell asleep I thought about it and thought about it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You’re my sanity in the midst of the psychotic world that has been thrust upon me. I’d probably be dead or wallowing in my own self pity if you weren’t around.”
“Don’t feel guilty, Charlie. You’re human. We all have wants. We all have needs. Us being together was bound to happen eventually. I just hate how long it took.”
Charlie ducked his head and laughed. “The longest jog around the bases in the history of relationships.”
It made Mary giggle. “Only thirty years of friendship before we finally both gave in.” Pausing, she laughed again. After thirty years, she had butterflies in her stomach for him. His smile alone made her weak in the knees. “You deserve to be happy.”
“I’ll be happy when Skylar is home. Until then, at least I have you.” Looking at his watch again, Charlie backed toward the door. “I really am going to be late. See you tonight.”
“Have a good day.”
Mary gathered up the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen before getting ready for work. It was going to be a long day. She was ready to get back into a routine, but at the same time, she feared what Charlie would go through, making his official debut back at work and in town since everything had happened. People knew him. They wouldn’t side with the media or the cops, would they?
Chapter Eight
Charlie sat in his parking space at the garage. Several guys were already inside, getting ready for the day. There were several cars parked and ready for maintenance, and if anything, business had picked up since he had been gone.
There were so many things going through his mind. It felt like the first day of school and he didn’t want to let go of his mother’s leg. Only this was much different – the world seemed crueler now than it did back in kindergarten. If he didn’t go inside and face everyone, he wouldn’t have a paycheck. It was another problem he couldn’t add to his ever-growing list of issues.
The truck door squeaked open and he shoved any hesitation aside. He tried to turn his focus on something that was going well in his life, and he instantly thought of Mary. What happened the night before felt like a dream, but it wasn’t. They had done the deed and slept together, and any
fears of it being awkward after were nothing but a distant worry. Things were great. It needed to happen. No more sexual tension between them. No more hiding his true feelings.
“Well hell, look who it is!” Todd greeted him at the door, patting him on the back. “You are a sight for sore eyes!”
If Todd suspected Charlie of anything illegal involving Skylar, he was putting up a front so well that he could’ve won an academy award for it. He was a friendly face and a friend Charlie had missed.
“I could say the same thing about you,” Charlie replied, putting his jacket and lunchbox on the desk. “It’s like I never left. Anything interesting happen?”
“Aside from all the shit you’re going through? No. But a lot of customers have questions about you.”
“And what do you say?” The knot in Charlie’s stomach grew tighter. Surely this wasn’t swaying business elsewhere.
“I tell them to not believe everything they read. And I mean it. Speaking of it being like you never left, you look skinny, brother. You okay?” Todd arched his eyebrow, his concern for Charlie palpable. It was out of left field. Todd wasn’t usually so perceptive.
“Don’t exactly have an appetite right now, you know?”
Todd pursed his lips. “Understandable. I’m really happy you’re back. Things haven’t been the same. And I know I haven’t been the best friend when it comes to all of this, but I’m here if you need anything. Skylar is a cool kid.”
“No need to apologize, Todd. I haven’t been in a sociable mood, anyway.”
Todd walked toward the office door, but paused at the threshold, turning. “I’ve been debating on whether or not I should tell you this. Some of the guys say I should, some say I shouldn’t, but…”
“Well now you have to tell me, Todd. You can’t mention it and then think I won’t be curious. What is it? After everything, I’m certain whatever you have to tell me will be nothing in comparison.” Charlie wished it were true. Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, karma seemed to laugh in his face. He must have been a real asshole in a past life.