I can’t respond to that. I just walk up to her and kiss her. She loves me, and it’s almost clear. I push her against the wall and continue kissing her. We can’t get enough of each other. I stop kissing her and whisper in her ear, “Leave him.”
She starts kissing me again, completely ignoring what I said. I stop it for the second time.
“Taylor, leave him.”
“Peyton, don’t ruin this moment,” is all she says before she starts kissing me again.
I can’t let it go on.
“Taylor, why is it so hard?”
“It’s not that simple,” she says, not answering the question.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m married to him! Peyton, I can’t go through this with you right now. I can’t leave Mason right now because he’s trying, and we both know that streak won’t go on forever. Our time will come.”
“What if it doesn’t? What if he’s decided to try and he remains that way? Then what, Taylor?” I ask, backing away from her.
“Peyton, I’m leaving. In fact, I don’t think we should speak for a while. Maybe some time apart would be good for us right now,” she says, walking out of the room.
I follow her. “You just said that you loved me,” I say, watching as she puts on her jacket.
“And I do. But for some reason, you’re not seeing that and you are having a hard time with me taking so long. So I think it would be best if we don’t speak until I’ve left Mason for good. That way you won’t have to obsess over him anymore,” she says, calm and angry at the same time.
“Taylor, look, let’s just forget I said what I said and continue being friends—or whatever we are,” I say, trying to fix what I have just destroyed.
“Good-bye, Peyton.” She walks out the door.
She proved her love for me, but I was too stupid to see it. I wanted it all too fast and now I have nothing—until she decides it’s the right time to come back to me. I don’t know what’s worse: the torture of being without her, or knowing that I’m definitely going to still be here whenever she’s ready to return to me—even if it is fifteen years from now.
Mason
I woke up to find Taylor gone. I thought maybe she went into the bathroom or something, until I noticed her closet door open. I know it was closed before we went to bed. I get up, wearing only my boxers, and look for her. She isn’t in the living room, kitchen, guest room, or in any other room, for that matter. I try calling her twice, but she doesn’t pick up. By four in the morning, I’m worried. Did I do something wrong? Did I offend her in some way? I come up with nothing.
Maybe she just needed some alone time and decided to go for a drive. But it’s pouring outside and I know that she hates the rain.
I can’t go back to sleep because Taylor is on mind. I can’t rest until I know she’s okay. I call her again, but like the other two times, there’s no answer. Right after I hang up the phone, I hear the front door close. I wait until she comes into the bedroom to confront her.
“Where were you?” I ask, slightly upset that she left without telling me.
“Mason, you should go back to sleep. You have to get up in about two hours,” she says, avoiding my question.
“So do you. That’s why I can’t understand what would make you get up and leave at this hour, in the pouring rain,” I shoot back.
She’s quiet for a while and puts on her shorts and a T-shirt before coming back to bed. She lies down next to me and then turns on her side to look at me.
“It was Peyton. He needed me for something, and since he’s my best friend, I thought it would only be right for me to go over there and see what he wanted.”
“At two in the morning?” I ask, making it very clear that I am displeased with the situation.
“Yeah—I know I should have told you that I was leaving, but I didn’t want to wake you up,” she says.
“I tried calling you. Why didn’t you call back to at least let me know you were okay?” I ask, still annoyed.
“Mason, I’m sorry. I was in the middle of talking to Peyton when you tried calling and I left right after. I forgot to call, and the last time you called, I was walking through the door,” she says—as if that was a good enough excuse.
“What was so important that he needed you to drive over at this time of the morning in the pouring rain?” I ask.
“He was just having some trouble coping with something. I just thought I should be there for him. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep because I’m tired,” she says. Then she gives me a kiss on the lips.
She is hiding something from me, and I don’t like it. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but something doesn’t feel right. She would never go out in the rain for anything; and above all, not at two in the morning. Either Peyton is dealing with something terrible, or she is covering something up. I try to push the thought out of my head, but I’m just not strong enough. She is too close to Peyton, and I don’t like it. There are times when I’m convinced that she loves him more than she loves me. Like I come second and he’s her husband. I know that isn’t true, but with the stunt that she pulled tonight, I can’t help but think it.
It’s a good thing we’re taking this trip to Australia; we need some alone time. We need to be away from all the people we know. Hopefully, on this trip we can build up our honesty levels with each other and we can go back to the way things were. All I can do is hope.
Peyton
I’ve been lonely for the past few weeks without Taylor. School is a drag, and at home, I watch TV all day. I practice with my band occasionally, or practice boxing, but I don’t feel like doing much when Taylor isn’t around. I spend most of the day in school with Jagger, but it doesn’t take my mind off of Taylor. I have an obsession. But it’s not the “crazy stalker” type; it’s the I-can’t-live-without-you type. The only reason I’m still alive is because I know that she’s willing to come back to me. She says she will. She always keeps her promises.
She and Mason are in Australia right now, and the only thing I can think about is him touching her and having the chance to love her the way I should be doing. I know I should get over it because he is her husband and he has every right to love and touch her. I’m just torturing myself with thoughts of her and I’m dying a slow death because of it.
Taylor
Australia is amazing! It’s everything I’ve dreamed of and more. Mason has been extra sweet, ever since we touched down in Sydney. We’ve been to different beaches, and each one of them is more amazing than the last. I would love to stay for the rest of my life.
It is already nightfall when Mason decides we should go see an outdoor movie. I think it will be a great experience, so I happily agree to the idea.
When the movie starts, Mason and I were hugged up with each other and I can’t help but stare at him. He is beautiful in so many ways. All I can think about is how I am going to break his heart more than he did mine. It’s starting to tear me up from the inside.
Despite those thoughts, this is one of the most romantic nights of the trip. Watching a movie in the Royal Botanic Gardens in Sydney, with the lights from the harbor and city as a backdrop is probably the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life; and being next to Mason makes it even more beautiful.
As we’re leaving the movie and walking through the streets of Sydney, Mason notices a fortune-teller. “We should get our fortunes told,” he says, smiling at me.
“No. I don’t believe in those things,” I answer. “Besides, it’s creepy.”
“Well, I don’t believe in it either, but we’re in Australia. It’s a good time to try something we never thought we’d try.”
“Mason, I don’t know…”
“Come on, it’s just for fun,” he says, dragging me inside.
It is a typical fortune-telling store. Incense fills the air. Weird statues surround us, and strings of beads hang from the ceiling, adding to my awkward feeling. “Mason, I don’t like this,” I whisper, holding onto him
for dear life.
He just laughs and tells me to relax. Soon enough, we’re greeted by a woman wearing a colorful turban on her head and rainbow-colored clothing. For some reason, I am nervous.
“You’re here to get your fortune read, I presume,” she says.
“Wow, you’re good,” Mason replies, joking.
She laughs and says that he’s charming. I’m still holding onto him.
“Take a seat, both of you,” she instructs. “It’s nice to see a young married couple for a change.” She sits down across from Mason and me.
Either she noticed the ring on my finger or she’s the real thing. I look down at my hand and realize that I took my ring off when we went to the beach so it wouldn’t get lost—as did Mason. Maybe she is the real thing.
She takes out her cards and proceeds with the session. I’m still a bit nervous. She knew we were married without either one of us saying anything; what else could she possibly know about us?
“I’m seeing that you two have someone or maybe even a number of people trying to come between you,” she starts.
I become even more uncomfortable.
“I see a male and a female. Both of them want one of you to themselves. You two aren’t being completely honest with each other; or at least, one of you is being dishonest,” she states, looking directly at me.
How did I turn into the bad guy so quickly?
“Be careful of those closest to you. They may not have your best interests at heart,” she says, now looking at Mason. “Young man, you’re young and still have so much to look forward to.”
She turns to me. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t see much for you, young lady. Maybe my vision is a bit blurry and you have many surprises coming your way. But I can’t tell whether they’re bad or good. I can only tell you both to be careful.”
When we’re done, Mason pays her and tells her to have a nice night. I am extremely nervous and uncomfortable. She basically told Mason about Peyton and my intentions. I just hope he didn’t catch on to any of it.
It’s now really late, but Mason and I are still walking around the city. I can’t help but continue to think about what the psychic said: I have no future. I don’t know how to take that.
“Do you think I’m going to die soon?” I ask Mason.
He just laughs at me and tells me no.
“But she says she doesn’t see much of a future for me. Does that mean I’m dead, or just really unhappy,” I say to Mason, who is still taking this as a joke.
“She also said that you may have surprises coming your way, she just can’t see if they’re good or bad. And quite frankly, I think not knowing is the best thing. Relax, babe, you’ll be fine. You have a great future ahead of you—a future that holds a great job, lots of children, and me as a loving husband.”
That last part tears me to pieces. I know he won’t be my loving husband. I intend to give Peyton that title. I have to tell Mason the truth. Just not now.
“She also said that we’re not being honest with each other. And I know I’ve been 100 percent honest with you lately. What about you?” Mason asks. He stops walking, and I follow his lead.
“Relax, babe, everything’s fine,” I say, almost mimicking what he told me a few seconds ago.
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. “I love you, Taylor Alexandria Caldwell-Taylor,” he says, laughing at the complexity of my name.
“I love you too, Mason Dale Taylor,” I say, smiling.
We kiss in the moonlight. The city of Sydney, Australia, is our kingdom. I wish we had more time here.
***
The flight back home to Arizona was long, but being with Mason made it better. Mason treated me like I was his queen the entire time we were in Australia. He cooked for me, and then we made dessert together. He treated me to spas and even took me shopping in Melbourne to make up for missing our mall date last month. That part of the trip was a last-minute decision, since Melbourne and Sydney are over five hundred miles apart, but it all worked out for the best.
Australia was great, but it does feel good to be home again. I missed my own bed. We start school again tomorrow, which is something I’m not looking forward to, but I keep reminding myself that this is my last year until college. College. Everything just seems to move so fast. I’ve applied to schools in Arizona, Nevada, and California; I just need to make my decision. Mason plans to stay here in Arizona, but I’m not sure about what I’m doing. I always thought going to school in California would be nice, since I loved taking vacations there when I was little. But if Mason and I are still together then, I’d hate to leave him.
I guess I might as well just do what I want, since I intend to leave anyway. He’s just making it all so hard because he’s been such a great husband this past month. I’ve already accepted his apologies, so it would be hard for me to just up and leave now.
I wait up for Mason so we can fall asleep together. I think that trip to Australia made us closer again. About ten minutes later, Mason steps into the room and lies down next to me. I quickly position myself to lie in his arms. “I’m tired,” I say, resting my head on his bare chest.
“Then go to sleep,” Mason says, turning off the light next to him.
“I was waiting for you to come.”
“Well, I’m here now, so go to sleep,” he says, gently embracing me.
I kiss his chest and say, “I love you, Mason.”
He replies, “I love you too, Taylor.”
And before we know it, we’re asleep in each others’ arms.
I have to tell Mason the truth. Even if it ruins us, he deserves the truth.
***
The next day, I see Peyton talking to Jagger during lunch. I know I said we shouldn’t speak, but this is an emergency. I have to speak to Peyton as soon as possible and I can’t wait another second. I walk up to him, and he looks surprised to see me.
“Peyton, can I talk to you?” I ask, looking him in the eyes to let him know that we need privacy.
He looks at Jagger and then back at me. “Uh…yeah, sure,” he says, still seeming surprised that I’m speaking to him.
I grab his arm as he tells Jagger that he’ll talk to him later and I pull him out of the building.
“What’s the rush?” he asks when we’re outdoors.
“I have to tell him,” I say.
“What are you talking about, Taylor?”
“I have to tell Mason about us. I can’t do this anymore, Peyton. I can’t continue to hurt him. He deserves the truth now. So I’m going to tell him—maybe not today, but definitely this week. I just thought I should tell you before I do,” I say.
Peyton is leaning against the building. “Are you sure you want to do this now? Are you sure you don’t want to wait?” he asks, trying to read me.
“I’m sure, Peyton. We can’t keep doing this to him. He’s given me the time of my life in the last two weeks, and I can’t go on knowing that I’m just with him because I think it’s the right thing to do. I love him, Peyton. But it’s just not enough, and he deserves better.”
He’s silent for awhile, and I can tell he’s thinking about something. “Do you want me to tell him with you?” he asks.
“No. It’s something I need to do on my own. He should hear it from me.”
“Well, however this turns out, just know that you’re welcome to stay with me. And if you need anything, just call me,” Peyton says with all the sincerity in his heart.
“Thanks, Peyton,” I say, giving him a hug and then going back into the building.
I have to do this. I have no other choice. He was honest with me, and the least I can do is be honest with him. This is going to hurt all three of us, but it’s something that has to be done. God help me.
Not much happens the rest of Monday or today, for that matter. I have a solo session with Kate in a few minutes, so I wait in the waiting room for her to be done with Peyton. I’m going to tell Kate everything before I break the
news to Mason. It’s going to be weird to know that Kate knows all of this, since she does know all three of us. I am nervous and heartbroken all at the same time. I don’t want to play the role of the villain any longer. I want to go back to being the good one; but I don’t know how I can. They say that once you go bad, you’re bad forever.
Kate takes a little longer with Peyton than she usually does. His session is running over by about fifteen minutes. I wonder if Peyton already told her about us. If so, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I know she’s not here to judge us, but how could someone not have an opinion about what’s been going on between Peyton and me?
Peyton walks out of the room and looks at me before leaving the office. I know that he can tell I am nervous. I hear Kate call my name. I walk into her office and sit in my usual chair.
“So how have you been, Taylor?” she asks without looking at me. She is too busy flipping through her notepad.
“I’m not sure, actually,” I say, telling the truth.
“Well let’s start off talking about Australia. How was it?”
“It was great…amazing, actually. Mason and I had a great time—and that’s what makes it all so confusing,” I say, looking at the floor.
“How so? If you two had such a great time, why is it confusing?” she asks me, knowing that I’m hiding something.
“Kate, I’ve been keeping something from Mason…something that I can’t forgive myself for,” I confess.
“Like what, Taylor?” she asks.
“Will you promise not to judge me or look at me any differently?” I ask, tears starting to fill my eyes.
“Taylor, you know I’m not here to judge you. I’m only here to help you.”
I let a few tears fall from my eyes.
“Taylor, is everything okay? Just tell me what’s wrong,” she says, handing me a box of tissues.
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