by Love N. Joy
Honey Flavored Tears
By
Love N. Joy
Copyright © 2013 by Natasha Williams
No part of this book can be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Honey Flavored Tears
This is a work of fiction. The events and characters described here and imaginary and are not intended to refer to specific places or living persons.
Published by: Krystol Diggs Publishing
Written by: Love N. Joy
Edited by: Natasha Williams
Cover Design by: Junnita Jackson
Proof Read by: Ellie Bates Chappell
Formatted by: Krystol Diggs
Acknowledgments:
First of all I want to thank God. I would not be where I am in life if it wasn’t for him giving me his unconditional love and staying by my side through my ups and downs. You have finally answered my prayers. To my grandma, I thank you for teaching me and instilling the knowledge into me of how a woman should act. Thank you for showing me love and being there and still being there till this day. To my momma, I love you so much. I know you make your mistakes but I thank you for showing me tough love and always keeping it real with me. You let me know that you will never lie to me or let me down in life. To my sister Shamika, thanks for talking with me late at night giving me story titles and telling me crazy stories when I needed story concepts. I thank you for supporting me in all that I do. To my cousin Jamal and Uncle Chi-Chi, thank you for making me laugh and showing me that life can be funny and that I have to remember to laugh in life a lot more. To Raven thank you for supporting me in everything that I do as well. I miss you and wish you were still in Michigan but I know you’re celebrating my success miles away. Thank you Christine (Ms. C.J.B.) for always listening to my stories on the phone and making me read all those B2K stories back in the day. They gave me ideas to write about. I appreciate all the deep conversations we have had about life. You inspired me to write about some of those life events in my story. Thank you Keisha for falling asleep on me all the times whenever I would read a story to you on the phone (lol). Thank you for sharing your views with me on relationships and being encouraging. To Kennette and Kenay, I thank y’all for staying up to 7 in the morning reading this story when I first made it and pushed me and motivated me to write this story over and publish it. Kennette, thank you for giving me hope when I felt like I wanted to give up and I’m proud of you for being so strong. Kenay, thank you for also having deep conversations with me when you could never sleep at night. I appreciate those talks and cherish them. To SeCara, Kenyetta, Roshawnda and Personna, thank you for reading my stories back in the day and fighting over them to see who would get a chance to read the book next (lol). To my friend Bobby, I know we are not as close as we use to be but thank you for showing me tough love as a brother and friend. You taught me in a way how to have tough skin in this crazy world and thanks for the laughs as well. To Brian, thank you for encouraging me to always keep writing and to never give up on my talent. This is proof I’m staying committed. To my long time friend who now goes by the name Zahi thank you for giving me knowledge about life I hope you can see how much I have grown up through my accomplishments. To my friends Simone and Demars, thank you for supporting me and being there when I needed y’all the most. Thanks for the laughs and I’m glad to know that y’all will be buying my book when it comes out. To my Uncle Adrian, Junior, Auntie Lorrie and Tonya, I thank y’all for giving me encouraging words as well and telling me to go forward in life never backwards. To my cousin Veyonica, thank you for telling me to live my life and reminding me that I’m still young and have so many more opportunities to come. To my ex James, I know we had a love hate relationship but thank you for believing in my writing. To Mr. Miles Heflin, we are finally making our dreams come true this one is for you! To Krystol Diggs, thank you for giving me the opportunity to publish. You just don’t know how long I have wanted this and now it’s finally going to happen. Thank you for being patient and answering all my questions too I know you know that I’m just so excited. To Marissa Palmer, gosh things happen for a reason. I’m so glad I met you the night of Kennette’s birthday and look where it’s gotten me; you have introduced me to Krystol and helped to make my dream come true as well. To my Granddad Fabian, thank you for staying on me about being focused. I can’t wait till you come home and share my success with me. And last but not least if I did not mention you by name in here, know that I thank you; and for all who will buy a book or spread the word I thank you… I’m writing under the pen name Love N. Joy because God is love and I have learned to love myself. The N stands for Natasha and Joy is for me learning to be happy through the storms and sunshine, and learning to embrace it.
Chapter 1
Jaidyn’s P.O.V.
Ain’t this some shit? I thought to myself as my head began to relax against my fluffy pillow while my mind raced with regrets second after second. I was so tired of dealing with this…having relations with no ship to carry it at the end. Always being placed in the friend zone or as I would like to call it the convenient girl, you know the one a guy can call up to talk to or chill with when his girl isn’t acting right. I’m basically like the replacement for a moment then invisible the next. I wonder, do guys even understand how that makes a woman feel? Do they even notice that I’m dying on the inside just from being used and thankless for my presence? There’s only so much a woman can take. This isn’t high school anymore. I’m 23 now, just graduated from college, maybe going into my career but for now working as a dietitian at a nursing home and planning on going to graduate school. I’ve got my whole life planned out but I want to be able to settle down with someone and add them into my life plan. Yet that can’t be done if I continue to allow this to happen
“Jai, why are you so quiet?” He asked cutting me from my thoughts, bringing me back to reality, agitating me all over again. I looked over at my friend of 2 years, Quincy Williams, just wishing that it would’ve stayed at that point.
“What am I supposed to say? I mean you tell me that you think you could still be in love with your ex and what we have has to stop, but it never even got a chance to start.”
Quincy rolled his eyes and disconnected his eye contact from me focusing back up at the ceiling. “I knew this would be hard to tell you,” he said in return.
I sucked my teeth and it took all the strength in me not to punch him in his face while we lay there. I was still wondering why I hadn’t kicked him out of my apartment yet, the apartment that I shared with my friend Pierre. “So you thought that I would easily understand what you’re going through?” I asked.
“Damn jay you act like I want to be in this love dilemma. This ain’t fun for me at all.”
“Well if it isn’t fun then cut off your feelings for her.” I said as I sat up in my full-size bed wrapping my satin red sheets tightly around my upper-half.
“It’s not that simple Jaidyn,” Quincy replied. He sat up in the bed now giving me eye contact again. My irritation was touching the clouds now. “No what’s not simple Q is fucking algebra or giving birth. Cutting off feelings for a bitch who never gave a fuck about you is easy if you have self-respect for yourself.”
I was never the type to show any guy how I felt if he hurt me but Quincy wasn’t someone random and I was hurt so the tears couldn’t help but to fall from my honey brown eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was remind Quincy of how Zariah was no good for him but he was overdue for a reality check about her ass.
I could tell he was pissed by the
way the vein was throbbing in his forehead. He bit his bottom lip then said, “Jaidyn, you can’t relate to or understand how hard it is to fall out of love with someone no matter what they have put you through because you’ve never been through it.”
“You’re right I’ve never been through it Q…until now.” There was a pregnant pause in the room as an astounded look flowed into his light brown eyes. It hurt me that he was shocked at the fact of me falling in love with him.
“Before I met you Quincy, I didn’t allow myself to fall deep into love because of the way guys dogged my friends and the females in my family, I didn’t really want to deal with love at all. My mother only taught me how to be independent so I never knew how to trust that a guy would love me and take care of me. But then you came along and you taught me how to love, taught me what love feels like and how to trust to open up to the opposite sex. What I thought we had was the best feeling ever because we formed it from a friendship but I know what it feels like to be put through a lot dealing with you as well because you continue to play with my heart then run back to her and allow her to play with yours and I just sit around and wait Q…wait for you to come back because that’s how much I love you. So please don’t tell me I’ve never been through it because I’m going through it now.” At this point my golden brown cheeks were flooded with tears and my eyes probably shined brighter than a crystal from my teary eyes.
He shrugged his shoulders in return and sighed then said, “You know the last thing I want to do is hurt you Jai.”
I chuckled and shook my head in shame. “It’s too late for that,” I said then got up from the bed and walked over to my bedroom door, opening it up. He got the message without me having to say it. After he got dressed he walked over to the door and paused to look at me. He tried to lean in and kiss me on the cheek but I pulled away. He sighed once again then walked out with the sound of the door slamming right behind him.
I remember when I first met him. I was in a hurry rushing to the library to print off my paper for class then head back to campus to turn it in before the end of the day so my professor wouldn’t doc off any points. I was so focused on getting to where I had to be, I was storming past people who were in my way then all of sudden we just ran into each other. I fell hard on my behind with my papers flying out of my hands and my personal belongs falling out of my purse. Embarrassment was written all over my face at this point.
“FUCK!!!” I yelled out in front of the plaza in downtown Detroit. Some people stopped to look at me but I didn’t care at this point. All I cared about was my gathering my papers up from the concrete and the page that had the citations of my sources fell straight into the sewer. It was all bad.
“Baby girl I’m so sorry,” I heard his deep voice say but I was too distraught to even look up. He bent down to my level to help me gather my papers while I placed my belongings back into my purse. What pissed me off was that inconsiderate people walked over us while we were trying to get the stuff together, I wanted to trip their ass.
It felt like a movie the way we finally looked up at each other in slow motion while he handed me back my papers. I couldn’t help but to smile. His light brown eyes complimented his mahogany complexion while his dimples decorated his pearly white smile. He stood at 6’0” tall with a muscular built frame and had a low cut fade with the deep waves in it.
“Thank you for helping me, and let me be the one to apologize because I’m in a rush, it’s just one of those days you know,” I explained.
“Trust me, I can understand,” he said as he chuckled. “Where are you on your way to?” He asked as we stood up from the ground.
“Over to the library,” I replied. I know it’s not good to tell a stranger I just met where I’m going but he seemed like a good person. I got a good vibe from him right off the bat.
“Oh ok I work there, I’m on my way there right now,” he replied. I paused in shock. “You work at the library?” I asked.
“Well damn you make it seem like that’s hard to believe,” he said with a smirk upon his face now.
I chuckled as well and said, “Naw, I’m not saying that, but it’s just weird that you work there and I’ve never seen you.”
“I only work there few times a week, other days I’m working as a commissioner at a Verizon store.”
“Look at you, doing your thing out here.”
“I have no choice, we in a damn recession,” he replied.
“I know, I’m just praying by the time I graduate from school the recession is over so I can easily get into my career without any problems,” I replied.
“Yeah I feel you. What are you majoring in?”
“Social Work, I want to go into the foster care field.”
“Oh ok that’s what’s up. Social workers don’t get paid much but they are very well needed in this country.”
“Yeah, I don’t even care about the money; I just have a passion to make change in the younger generations to come.”
“That’s real good, I like the way you think. You know we need more females with a mentality like yours in this world.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied with a smile.
“And we need more males like you in the world who have brains and good looks.”
“I will definitely take that as a compliment.”
We were so wrapped up in our random conversation we didn’t realize we made it to the library so fast. I was even impressed that he carried my books and papers the whole way.
“Well looks like we’re here pretty mama,” he said. Usually when guys keep giving me compliments I get irritated because it seems like they are trying too hard to impress me but with him it was okay.
“Yeah looks like we are,” I said.
“I didn’t get your name.”
“Jaidyn.”
“Quincy, nice to meet you.”
“Same to you,” I said. He took my hand and planted a gentle kiss on it. “Hope to see you around more often and if I see you by the third time you know what that means right?”
“What?” I asked.
“It will be the perfect time by then to exchange numbers.”
I shook my head laughing at this point. “We will see,” I said
“Alright.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Sure enough by the third time we ran into each other, we exchanged numbers. Our conversations lasted for hours; it seemed like we knew each other in another life time and were just catching up with each other again. That same day we met, my day that I thought was going to end as hell became like heaven. Luckily I got the paper in on time and I had printed an extra copy of my citations source paper off too.
Right then and there “Breakup” by Mario began playing from my phone and I knew exactly who it was.
“Hey boo, talk to me.”
“Heeeeey girl what you doing,” my friend Pierre said on the other end of the phone. “Nothing much, just driving around downtown trying to clear my head but it’s not working because downtown just reminds me of when Quincy and I first met.”
Pierre sighed with aggravation in his tone at this point now. “Bitch, why are you even stressing over that no good ass nigga anyway? You gone cause yourself to slip into a grave by the end of this year.”
“Pierre I knooooow but it’s hard we had a lot of good times.”
“Trust me, I know girl, shit I know exactly what heart break feels like that’s why I pimp these niggas now, no love this way at all.”
“Well it will be a while before I can get back to that stage of not giving a fuck,” I replied.
“Girl what you need to do is bring yo pitiful ass home so we can drink and get fucked up, that way you won’t have to think about it.”
I couldn’t help but to smile. Pierre always knew what to say to get me through a rough t
ime. “I’m on my way,” I replied as I hung up the phone and pressed the gas to get over to Gross Pointe to meet up with him.
Chapter 2
Jaidyn’s P.O.V.
“So what’s been up with you?” I asked Pierre as we chilled in our apartment sipping on extra smooth Vodka mixed with slushy orange juice.
“Just working and going to the club every chance I get,” Pierre replied.
“Boy you still go to Dream 4 down on the eastside of Detroit?” I asked.
“You know it, every nigga in that bitch know my name and want to get on,” he replied while dancing on the couch, being his goofy self. Pierre and I have been joined at the hip since senior year at my old high school. He was blunt, down to earth, and genuine and didn’t care what people thought of him. He was that person who lived on the edge by night and down to business by day. I loved him like the brother I never had.
“You are something else,” I replied while laughing.
“Girl you need to come with me one of these days; get your mind off of what’s his face for real.”
Pierre couldn’t stand Quincy since day one. He always had a bad vibe about him but I think that’s because he had a little crush on Quincy at one point and didn’t like the fact of getting rejected. To this day I think sometimes Pierre wishes Quincy was gay but he will never admit it. A handsome man like Quincy can turn both sexes’ heads.
“I know, I know. But I can actually say I’m doing real well though. I’ve avoided his calls and texts for the last two weeks now.”
“That’s real good to hear Jai but obviously you can’t stop thinking about him because if you did you wouldn’t still be keeping count of the last time you talked to him.” I couldn’t help but to sigh deeply. Everything that Pierre was saying was sooo true. If my mother were still living right now she would tell me the exact same thing.
“Come here girl, you know I hate to see you looking so pitiful,” Pierre said as he pulled me close while rolling his eyes playfully. I cried silently as he caressed his fingers across my thick wavy sandy brown hair.
I grew up without a father figure in my life by choice. My sperm donor Kevin White couldn’t and wouldn’t be a father if you paid him all the money in the world to be. My mother passed away when I was ten, she was murdered by one of her boyfriends. She was the type to have more than one male friend because she felt since no one was putting a ring on it she didn’t belong to anyone. Well apparently this man couldn’t stand the fact of sharing her and showed her if he couldn’t have her no one else could. It was hard for me to understand and deal with at first but as I got older my strength and knowledge of what happened became clearer to me. My mother tried her hardest to show me right from wrong but it was hard for her to do that because she was still learning right from wrong herself. My grandmother Evelyn Henderson was the one who raised me to be the strong woman that I am today. We had a connection so close it’s like she gave birth to me herself. She passed away two years ago of stomach cancer. I felt like giving up back then but Pierre pushed me to keep going. He was all I had left. I thought I had Quincy by my side as well but I guess not. God brings people into our lives for certain reasons. I’ll probably never know what Quincy’s reason was for being in my life but I can say God brought Pierre into my life at the right time, to be a part of my backbone to help me get through.