by Marie York
“That makes two of us,” I said and disappeared out the door, leaving Nix and our friendship behind.
Chapter 4
Kennedy
Hearing Beckham, and seeing him, only made me the pain worse. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I choked on my sobs. It was as if someone was sitting on my chest, refusing to let me breathe. I hated that he had this power over me. Hated that I couldn’t control my emotions. There was just so many of them, and I couldn’t hold them back. They poured out of me like blood from an opened wound.
Erica plopped down on my bed and patted my ass. “So, do you plan on telling me what’s wrong?”
She’d come back a couple hours after Beckham left, and other than a few shakes of the head, I hadn’t said anything to her. I didn’t want to talk. Once I talked and admitted out loud what Nix had told me, then it was real.
“Fine, if you’re not going to tell me then I’m just going to guess. Considering I came home to a coffee and a plastic bag of goodies, I think it’s safe to say Beckham was by.
I nodded.
“Okay, good. We’re getting somewhere. And, considering you’re crying like someone just stole your puppy, I’d guess trouble in paradise.”
I hiccupped a yes.
She threw off my comforter. “So, that settles it. We’re going out. Get dressed.”
I shook my head, but she didn’t even see me. She was already in the closet, tearing through her clothes. A skirt flew at my head, followed by a shirt, and then a pair of heels that, if I didn’t duck, would have clobbered me right in the face.
“I’m not going out.” I finally found the energy to speak.
“Kennedy, no fun was ever made sitting in a dorm and crying over a guy. Do you want to look back on these years, and remember the fun you had, or remember crying in your bed because of some jerk?”
“The fun of course, but can’t I at least get a night?”
She grabbed my hands, and pulled me from the comfort of my bed. “Not a chance. Get dressed. We’re going out.”
Begrudgingly, I grabbed the clothes Erica chose for me, and headed to the bathroom. On my way, I sent Jimmy a text to see if he was free to meet up with us. He was a good friend, and I was grateful to have wound up on his coffee line.
He answered back immediately to text him with the plans, and he’d meet up with us. I smiled at my screen, and then my stomach twisted in knots when Jimmy’s message disappeared, and Beckham’s face flashed on my screen.
He hadn’t tried to call me yet, and just seeing his face frozen in a picture made me sick. He might not have lied to me directly, but his secret was inexcusable. He should’ve told me. I might not have understood, but it would’ve been better hearing it from him than being blindsided by my brother.
For a second, I thought about answering it. Despite what I knew now, I missed him. I couldn’t help it. Being with someone almost every day, and falling in love with them? That’s not something you got over after a single cryfest. No, it would take time. I just hoped it didn’t take eternity.
I swiped the phone to dismiss the call, and headed into the bathroom with half of my heart broken, and the other half determined to move on.
***
Going to the club seemed like a good idea in theory, but when we walked up, and I glanced down the alley where Beckham and I first had sex, I had to channel everything I had not to run away and right back to my bed.
“No line,” Jimmy said, tugging at the collar of his baby pink button up. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a Ralph Lauren ad. All preppy and perfect.
“That’s because it’s super early,” I said, looking toward the door where the bouncer was, with his eyes closed, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed. It was just after eight. People didn’t start showing up till at least nine. And, not to mention, there was the big fight going on downtown. If I wasn’t so fuming mad at my brother, I might’ve actually gone to watch it.
“It’s never too early to have fun,” Erica said, and took both our hands, guiding us to the entrance. “Besides, I think someone needs a shot.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I said, as she dragged me toward the bar.
“I’m with Kennedy on this one. The last time she was here doing shots, she wound up passed out in my bed.”
“And you were such a gentleman about it. It’s such a shame you’re gay,” I joked, and he laughed.
Erica ordered three shots, despite our objections, and handed them out to us. She held her little glass up. “To fun,” she said.
“To fun,” Jimmy and I repeated, and then I tilted my head and let the liquid burn a path down my throat. I felt the burn takeover, and I was ready to put all the crap behind me. “Who wants to dance?” I asked.
“Girl, that is what I’m talking about!” Erica followed me out onto the dance floor, and Jimmy stood back at the bar, talking to a cute guy.
There was no DJ yet, but Erica and I danced to the bartender’s iPod like there was. She took my hand, and I did a cute little turn. As I was coming back to her, my eyes landed on the door, and I stopped mid dance move.
Beckham walked into the club, his hair pulled back in his signature man bun, his hazel eyes full of determination. His white t-shirt was pulled tight across his strong chest, and I hated myself for remembering how good it felt to be pressed against it.
He moved with intent as his gaze roamed across the bar and then to the dance floor. His lip curved up into a sexy smile when he spotted me. How’d he know I was here?
My heart raced, and I scoped out my exit routes. I wasn’t ready to face him. I needed more time. More alcohol.
With each step, he grew closer and my resolve to run from him faded. It had been a long day, and all I wanted to do was run right into his arms, and have him hold me, brush my hair out of my face, and tell me he loved me. But, then I remembered the reason for our parting and all those happy thoughts were crushed into tiny miserable pieces.
He didn’t stop until he was right in front of me. “Beckham,” I managed, but before I could say another word, his hand wrapped around the back of my neck, and he crushed his lips to mine.
I pushed at his chest, but he wrapped his arm around me, and held me tight to his chest.
I didn’t resist any longer. I should have, but the feel of his lips on mine was the best thing I felt all day. It was better than any amount of liquor. A moan slipped from my mouth, and he parted his lips, sliding his tongue against mine in a slick sexy dance that I couldn’t unravel myself from even if I wanted to.
No, I was putty in his hands as he took all that I would give him. His hand moved from my neck to my face along with the other until he was cupping both cheeks.
He pulled away then, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took. He drew me in once more and kissed me. It was the simplest of kisses, chaste and gentle, but it spread through me, sparking every nerve ending in my body to life. A fire built within me, and it became obvious that I needed Beckham as much as I did water.
He rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry, Kenny,” he whispered, his breath warm on my cheek.
Without his lips on mine, I was able to think straight. I wanted to forgive him. To get past this impossible bridge in our relationship, but I knew I couldn’t. The Beckham Fox I knew wouldn’t walk away from a child. It was clear then that the Beckham Fox I knew was the one I made up in my head. He wasn’t as perfect as I thought he was.
“And I’m sorry too. I can’t do this,” I said, and stepped away from his hold.
He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to him. He brushed my hair away from his face, and stared at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes of his. “Kennedy, please don’t walk away from me. Let me explain.”
I shook my head as tears pricked my eyes. I had to be strong. “There’s nothing to explain,” I said and before I lost the will, I walked away.
“Kennedy!” Beckham yelled, but I didn’t look back.
It was the ha
rdest thing I ever had to do.
Chapter 5
Beckham
My phone rang, and I glanced at the screen, shocked to see Jessica’s name pop up. She was the reason I was in this mess in the first place. I hadn’t spoken with her much since I moved across the country.
I answered before it went to voicemail. “Hey Jessica. How are you?”
“Becks, it’s good to hear your voice. I’m doing good.”
“How’s Maverick?”
“Adorable. He’s the happiest little kid. Always giggling. Doesn’t really cry much. I lucked out.”
“I wish you had more help. I could’ve stayed.”
“No. It was better you left when you did. Things would’ve got messy if you didn’t. Besides, my mom moved up here. She’s helping out, so I can continue to go to school.”
“I’m happy to hear that.”
The line went silent for a few moments. “Becks,” Jessica finally said. “I just wanted to say thank you. What you did for me…”
“Don’t mention it.”
“You’re a good man. I miss having you around.”
Before I left, Jessica and I were good friends. We had a few classes together and hit it off. She was like hanging out with one of the guys and I actually enjoyed her company. I hadn’t thought about her much since I left, but now I realized I missed her too.
“Just because I’m on the other side of the country doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. Call me whenever you want. And text me a picture of the boy. I want to see if he has my eyes,” I joked.
“Lucky for me, he has my eyes. It would be too hard to look into them every day if he didn’t. You know?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing because I’m sure it was better than cleaning up spit up. Take care of yourself, Becks. You deserve to be happy.”
“You do too. Now, send me a picture.”
“I will.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it on my dresser. So much had changed since we first met freshman year. She had all these big dreams and goals, and would talk about them for hours. All I wanted to do was get drunk. Me, her and Nix always had a good time though. Then, life happened and everything changed.
My phone buzzed, and I picked it back up. Jessica sent me a picture. I tapped into the messages, and a little baby boy was staring back at me.
He might have had Jessica’s eyes, but he looked just like his father.
Chapter 6
Beckham
I hadn’t fully recovered from Kennedy’s rejection, but I couldn’t continue to sit around and do nothing. If she would just hear me out, we could clear everything up, and go back to being together. But the damn stubborn girl kept walking away before I could get it all out.
Granted, at the club, I went for a more aggressive approach. Though when I saw her dancing around in that tight skirt and low cut top, my dick took over. I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything in my life. Even if it was only for a second, a quick moment in time, I needed to taste her.
“All I’m saying is if you went with talking instead of slamming your tongue down her throat, we might not be having this conversation,” Jimmy said, as he filled up a customer’s coffee and handed it over. He had been my ally in this whole mess. Even texted me when he was at the club with Kennedy.
He was right. I knew this. But, if I could go back and change my approach, I wouldn’t. I had no regrets. Feeling her skin beneath my hands, her lips against my mouth, hearing that soft moan slip from her, it gave me exactly what I needed to know. She still loved me.
“Well, I didn’t. So, now I need a new game plan.”
“You need to talk to her. So, you just need to get her somewhere where she can’t run, and she has no choice but to hear you out.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Not really. If I get her there, it’ll be up to you to keep her there.”
“Where?”
“What about that place you took her? The abandoned garden.”
My mind drifted back to that day, remembering every single detail. The way we made love in the old gazebo. The words I spoke to her before I plunged into her.
“I didn’t want to do this,” I said, pulling my mouth from her shoulder.
“Do what?” she breathed, as I pushed the material of her bra away, and drew her nipple into my mouth. I twirled my tongue around the tight bead, sucking and nibbling it, until her fingers knotted in my bun.
I pulled away, and slowly eased her on the floor of the gazebo. “Have sex with you in a public place. I wanted to do it right. In my bedroom, on my bed. But…” I shivered, so worked up from having her beneath me. “I need you now.”
I wanted so badly to do things the right way, and while sex in the abandoned garden was fucking amazing, I still took her in a public place. Other than our night together, before Nix showed up, everything about us was a public affair. I wanted privacy.
“Too obvious,” I said. “You bring her there, and she’ll know it’s a set up. Plus, I want something a little more private.”
“More private than an abandoned garden?”
“I stumbled upon it, so that means anyone can stumble upon it. And, with my luck lately, I don’t want to take the chance.”
Jimmy finished with the two customers in his line, and then snapped his finger. He pointed at me with way too much excitement. “Dude, I got it.”
I turned to him all ears.
“My grandparents have a lake house about two hours from here. They used to go up there all the time, but my grandfather had hip surgery, so they haven’t been able to.”
“Get to the point,” I said.
“I can get the keys. Tell Kennedy we’re going away for a weekend to relax. Get to the house, bring her inside, say I have to get something out of the car, and leave. She’ll be two hours from campus with no cell service. She’ll have no choice but to hear you out.”
I patted Jimmy on the back, and then grabbed him in a bear hug. “You, my friend, are a fucking genius.” I finally let him go as a customer walked up and gave us a weird look. “When can you get the keys by?” I asked, as he took the guys order.
“I go over there every Thursday for dinner. I can grab them then, and have them to you Friday morning. You head up there after class, and we’ll be an hour behind you.”
“You’d really drive two hours just to drive it back?”
“If it means you two can go back to annoying each other, and not me, then hell yeah.”
I gave his shoulder a shove. “Shut the fuck up. I’m not that annoying.”
He arched his eyebrow at me, and then put his hands together. “Oh, Jimmy! She’s not talking to me. What am I going to do? Jimmy, can you tell me where she is? Jimmy, has she said anything about me? Jimmy…”
I rolled my eyes. “I get it. Though, I sound nothing like that.”
He shrugged. “All whiners sound the same to me.”
“So, has she said anything about me?” I asked to be a smart ass, but since he mentioned it, it was all I could think about.
Jimmy threw his hands up in the air.
“I’m kidding.”
“No, you’re not. And no. She hasn’t. But she doesn’t have to say anything. Her eyes say it all.
“And what are they saying?”
“She’s miserable.”
I hated to think she was anything but happy, but a part of me was actually glad to hear that because it meant I wasn’t alone.
Chapter 7
Kennedy
My brother was an asshole. Seriously, if they gave out awards for Biggest Douche, he would win. I hadn’t seen him since he stopped by my dorm, and, as far as I knew, he was back on his side of the country, but that didn’t stop him from texting me.
Nix: Hope you learned your lesson.
I ignored him and didn’t respond, yet he kept going.
Nix: Stay away from him.
Nix: I mean it. Stay. Away. From. Him.
I wanted to write back, Get a life, but I knew it would only add fuel to the fire. If I ignored him, hopefully he’d go away. I never understood why he cared so much about my life. He had an opinion about everything, and happily shared it with me, always making me feel like I did something wrong. Just because he was older than me didn’t mean he had the right to act like my parent. I already had two, and trust me that was more than enough.
I slid my phone back into my bag, and continued toward the coffee cart. I needed my caffeine fix. It had been a couple days since I stopped by to say hi to Jimmy and order my usual. I was afraid of bumping into Beckham. If that night at the club proved anything, it was that I was not to be trusted around him.
But, I barely slept last night, tossing and turning as thoughts of Beckham kept popping in and out of my head. They were so vivid and so real, I swear I could feel his hands running up my sides, feel his fingers rolling my nipples into taut peaks. I could smell his delicious scent, and taste him with every kiss I pressed to his chest as I worked my way down to his throbbing cock.
Wetness pooled between my legs just thinking about it. An incurable ache that I wasn’t sure would ever go away. Because, even if I let Beckham go, he’d never really be gone. He consumed my heart and devoured my soul. His sexy smirk would always be the vision that came to me when I was searching for a happy thought. And that damn man bun. I never imagined liking a guy with long hair, but nothing made me more content then running my fingers through the soft strands while we watched a movie.
Sadness reared its ugly head as I remembered watching Grease together. How mad I was at him, but then how happy I was to have his head on my lap. I shook the stupid thoughts away. It wasn’t helping my case to move on from him. So, I forced my mind to focus on the presentation I had to put together for my Art History class.
I chose Norman Rockwell because I loved how he captured the American culture within the twentieth century. His paintings were so vivid they looked more like photographs. I wish I had even an inkling of his talent. The best I could do was a stick figure with hair.