“And you told her these things?” I asked, echoing his words to me back to him.
“Every day,” he breathed.
My heart skipped a beat. I turned away from his gaze and stared back at the water.
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” I heard him continue. “How I would be the one to fuck it all up?”
“So you were wrong. Speaking of love…it wouldn’t have changed a thing.”
Khine smiled. “Maybe. I don’t know. It did make a difference to me. I knew what I was throwing away. But fool that I was…I let myself forget for a moment. It was enough. Enough for her to leave me.”
The image of Rayyel walking away that night returned to me. I knew what he meant. “Remind me,” I murmured, “why a single moment is enough to outweigh the rest. Why fickle tempers rule over steadfast hearts.”
“We listen only to what we want to hear,” Khine said.
I was the one who had wanted to hear him speak like this, but the emotion in his voice was suddenly unbearable. Old wounds, girlish pride; the hope of ever knowing love like that had long left me. It was enough to have caught a glimpse of it through his eyes. I stood on tip-toe to kiss him on the cheek. Startled, he reached up to touch the spot where my lips had been. It was a thank-you and a goodbye.
Agos was waiting for me outside the inn when we returned to those streets. He and Khine exchanged glances. His shoulders rose and fell, a man as much on the cusp of desperation as I was. I was not such a fool that I didn’t understand what he was implying, but I didn’t have the energy to stop him. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Only Rayyel mattered, and Thanh, and Jin-Sayeng, and I was going to give it one last try even if it killed me.
~~~
Morning arrived like a forlorn lover, bringing gifts of light and clear sky only to find that it was not needed to start the day after all. We were already up, and had been for hours, having broken into a wine seller’s warehouse and hidden ourselves between the barrels of his next shipment inside a covered cart. We were right there when we heard a messenger from Governor Zheshan’s office arrive, claiming that all their wine had been spoiled overnight. Could they not spare a few barrels? The governor was having an important meeting, and his guest, Han Lo Bahn, could not abide poor wine.
They could, the wine merchant said. An entire cartload in fact, his secretary—who also happened to be Anya Kaz’s niece—added. She was the one who had mysteriously forgotten to lock the warehouse overnight, and was responsible for making sure our cart was picked. The wine merchant’s men came to hitch the cart up to their horses, and we felt ourselves being rolled along the street.
I glanced at the sky. Lo Bahn, Khine, and Inzali would’ve arrived in Governor Zheshan’s office by now. I drew a deep breath and checked that I was sufficiently armed. Sword. Dagger. An extra knife in my boot. I tried not to think about having to use them, on who I may have to stick a blade into. Rayyel wasn’t stupid. He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid.
We rolled to a stop. I heard gates open and then close. We were inside Zheshan’s office. I turned to Nor, who bade me to wait.
Sweat rolled down my nose and trickled past my lip.
I heard it then—fireworks. The explosions were so loud that my ears started ringing. I saw Agos peer through the canvas flap before I felt him grab my arm and pull me from the wagon. We made our way to the bushes of the courtyard while everyone clustered around the open gate, laughing and pointing.
The fireworks were still going off, filling the sky with bright light and grey smoke. I hoped Anya wasn’t hurt. The plan had been to pretend that she was transporting a crate of fireworks and then to feign an accident of some sort along the way. Khine had been able to procure the fireworks from one of Cho’s friends, but we couldn’t find a horse that would help Anya make a quick escape. She had promised she would improvise.
“You shouldn’t worry about her,” I heard Agos grumble beside me. “Focus on the task at hand.”
I hated that he knew me too well. I hated even more that I had to bring him. I pushed the thought as far away as I could and followed him into Zheshan’s storeroom. Anya’s niece had been in the keep before and had told us exactly how there was a door there that allowed us to get in, what turns to make, and that there was an unused closet at the far end. There, we could hide until things had calmed down and we could go out and pretend to be her master’s men, returning to check on the quality of the wine. A spoiled batch, among the barrels; you don’t want Gon Zheshan serving it to his guests.
I didn’t ask why she would know about the closet. We are all allowed our secrets, even from a queen.
I focused just as I was advised, ignoring the sound of Agos’ breathing, of the uncomfortable silence in the darkness, marred only by our heartbeats. We are swords first. Servants first.
It didn’t help that I knew Agos would die for me. It didn’t occur to me to question why things would be different now than it was five years ago.
Five years ago…
I felt Agos’ hand in mine, a brief touch to remind me it was time. I quickly pulled away. We returned to the hall, hiding our weapons under our cloaks. “We’d be somewhere in the servants’ quarters now,” Nor said, looking around.
“She said the guest rooms are upstairs from here.” I spotted a wide staircase, decorated with long, laced tapestries. The stair balusters were carved with lionbeasts on every turn. “Agos,” I said. “Keep an eye out for us. Stay here.”
His face darkened. “Why?”
“Because I’m about to see Rayyel. Don’t be an idiot.”
“He’ll be surrounded by this Governor Zheshan’s guards,” Agos said. “Idiocy will be to face them alone.”
“I think…he’ll be unguarded,” I said. “Please, Agos. Consider it a request.”
I heard Nor utter a soft sound.
Agos turned his head. I took that as an agreement and began to climb the steps. Nor followed me.
“You want to ask, don’t you?” I said, when we reached the next level.
“My queen,” she said. “It is not my place.” But I could see the question dancing in her eyes.
“I will tell you this,” I said as we turned into the first corridor. “Rayyel might not be willing to go with us.”
“I don’t understand. You said he was Governor Zheshan’s prisoner.”
“I was told that, at first. But it has come to my attention that he may not be as much of a prisoner as he is possibly working…with Governor Zheshan…to get rid of me.”
Nor slowed down. “Lord Rayyel wants you dead?”
“I think so.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I’ve come here to learn.”
“My queen…”
Her voice had turned; there was a note to it that made the hair on the back of my arms stand on end. It was a broken sound, and we were alone. “What is it, Captain?”
“My men died,” she said. “I still don’t know why.”
“We were betrayed.”
“But why?” Her voice was rising. “What did you do to make Oren-yaro lose faith in you like that?”
“I thought we came to the conclusion that they were bribed.”
“We knew how, but not the reason behind it. My queen, my men were Oren-yaro. For them to kill their brothers in cold blood would take more than the promise of money.”
I turned to face her. “What are you saying, Nor? You know the rumours. You told me yourself that there will always be rumours.”
“Yet if Lord Rayyel would see you dead for them…”
I saw her fingering the hilt of her sword. “You would do this now, Captain?”
“I don’t know,” Nor said. “Tell me that what they say about you isn’t true. That my men died because their brothers erred and not because you betrayed us.”
I hesitated. She didn’t notice, though, because we saw Agos appear at the stairway, panting. “I thought I heard—” he started. He saw Nor’s stance and snarled
, drawing his sword before I could stop him.
Nor backed away. “Stay out of this, Agos.”
“Make me.”
“She needs to answer my question.”
“She is your liege lord. She doesn’t.”
Nor laughed. “You’d think that. Oh, dear Agos, she is in a hole and you are making it deeper. I know you enough not to hold it against you. But the queen…” She turned to me. “Half the Queen’s Guard. The Singing Sainsa’s crew. They all willingly sank that knife into your back. And now you are telling me that Lord Rayyel would’ve joined them without second thought.”
“You can’t blame me for what they did.”
“My queen, do you think we are all like him?” She pointed at Agos. “Did you think you could do whatever you wanted and still expect blind loyalty? We gave it to your father easily enough because we believed in his ideals—we knew the Ikessars were bringing death and ruin to the land, and rising against them was the only way to preserve ourselves. You, on the other hand, have done nothing but drag us back to the brink of disaster. And for what?”
“Nor…”
“My queen!” The desperation was thick in her voice. “Tell me I am wrong, and I will take my own life when this is all over. Assure me my men died for nothing. Tell me—what happened five years ago? When we took this godsforsaken trip, was it to confront Rayyel for abandoning his duties, or so that you could beg his forgiveness because you abandoned yours?”
I could hear her stark breathing in the following silence. I think she must’ve understood that no matter what I said, she couldn’t take another step without Agos’ blade swinging down on her neck. And that in a straight fight, she was no match for his size and strength. I didn’t want it to come to that. We had already lost too many people on this trip, and I was fond of Nor, even if she didn’t know it.
It seemed that my father’s efforts to surround me with loyal followers had been all for nothing. I think I suddenly understood that moment of panic in his face when he was dying. I had thought that it had been for himself, even though he had assured me so often that he wasn’t afraid to die. A moment of panic, followed by thoughtfulness as he stared at me, an old man regarding the young daughter he was too old, really, to have fathered. Yet all we had was each other; he was leaving me alone for all of this, and I had not been ready.
Fifteen years later, I still wasn’t.
I heard footsteps, and touched my sword, preparing to throw it all to hell and fight my way to Rayyel. But it was only Khine. “Are you arguing amongst yourselves?” he asked, slowing down as he came up to us. “Right after we all risked our lives to get you this far?”
“How’s your end coming along?” I asked.
“Well enough,” he said. “I didn’t have to do much. Inzali made a curious point about how Governor Zheshan should’ve consulted with the people before requesting such an embargo, and they started arguing. I excused myself and don’t think they even noticed me leave. What the hell is happening between you all? I could hear you from down the hall.”
“Nothing,” I said. “Let’s find Rayyel.”
“Stand down, Captain Nor,” Agos said.
“You’re the one with the fucking blade drawn on me,” she hissed.
“I understand you’re all in a tense situation here,” Khine said, walking towards them. “But it can wait until you all get home.”
“You hear that, Nor?” Agos said. “Or I can kill you right now. It’s all the same to me. Either you are loyal to Queen Talyien, or you’re not.”
“Because you are the epitome of loyalty, I suppose,” she snorted. But she dropped her hands to her sides. “I can at least admit defeat when I see it. I’m outnumbered. What is your judgement, my queen?”
“What?”
“Will you leave me alive only so I can question you later? Or will you kill me now and be done with it?”
I started to ask what sort of person she thought I was, and then realized I already knew the answer to it. I turned away and made my way to the first door, all but kicking it open. It was empty. I went down the hall to the next.
Behind me, I heard them move to follow. My people: a doubtful Captain of the Guard, an ex-guard with boundary issues, and a con artist. Some queen I was. No wonder my father was haunting me.
I pulled at the next door. Empty.
On the third, I caught sight of Biala Chaen’s pale face. As surprised as I was to see her, her expression barely changed. I think she had been expecting me. She smiled. “Queen Talyien,” she said, giving a mock bow. “We meet again. He was so convinced you would come.”
“I knew you were a snake the moment I laid eyes on you,” I said in a low voice.
“Did you? How interesting.” She fanned herself. “And what, pray, have I done to earn such a verdict from a queen? Me, a mere architect’s daughter? I’ve moved up in the world.”
“Spare me your prattle. Where is my husband?”
“What makes you think I know?”
“You and your husband had fooled us the moment we entered your doors,” I said. “Kora said you told her that Governor Zheshan has him.”
“Kora,” Biala said. She looked confused for a moment before breaking out into a smile. “Right. Kora!” She clapped her hands.
My handmaid appeared from the corner, looking frailer than she had when I had last seen her. Kora aset gar Angjar. Priest caste. Nor had said that, a lifetime ago.
“Did I really say such a thing, Kora? Did I tell you to tell the queen that her husband is here, in this very keep?”
Kora’s face was blank. “My lady,” she said.
Biala struck her. “Tell your queen the truth.”
“The truth?”
She struck her again. I felt the hilt of my sword, but Nor stepped in front of me before I could do anything else. “Poor, idiot thing,” Biala said. “You gave the queen the letter from her husband, didn’t you?”
Kora turned helplessly to Nor.
“She gave it to me,” Nor said. “She said a courier had slipped it through her from the gates.”
“How long have you been in the queen’s service, Kora?” Biala asked.
“F-five years,” Kora stammered.
“Long enough,” Biala said. “You kept quiet. Kept behind the scenes. No one could’ve ever suspected you. Smart, for such an idiot girl. Who hired you?”
Kora turned to me. “One of the queen’s councillors.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know his name.”
Biala slapped her. “Leave her alone!” I roared.
“Who?”
“Dragonlord Rayyel!” Kora cried.
I felt my head begin to pound. A rush of blood, dizziness. The girl was looking at me now, tears falling across her thin cheeks. Biala’s face broke into a triumphant grin. I stared at one, and then the other.
“You’re lying,” I said.
A shadow crossed Kora’s face. “No, my queen,” she murmured. “That last part…is the truth. He hired me five years ago to keep an eye on you. I’ve been sending him letters…reports…”
“Your fucking handiwork,” Agos hissed at Nor.
“But it’s not what you think,” Kora quickly added. “It’s not what she’s trying to make it sound like!”
“Me?” Biala asked. She laughed. “What do I have to do with this?”
“You want the queen to think I’ve betrayed her. I haven’t! I just—”
“You’ve been conspiring against the true crowned ruler of Jin-Sayeng. You don’t think that’s betrayal?”
I had never seen anyone look so frightened as Kora did in that moment. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “He wanted to know about you and the prince. The things you did. The people you saw. Harmless things.”
“Harmless things, but everything. You gave him enough information while he was biding his time, waiting to make a move. You made this possible,” Biala said, holding out her hands and gesturing around the room.
“No!” Kora cried. �
��He just wanted to know! And the letter—it was handed over the fence. I didn’t know it was from Dragonlord Rayyel! I didn’t open it!”
“Foolish girl. You think every intention is innocent?”
“Not yours! You told me to tell them about that Lord Rayyel was with Governor Zheshan, or else you’d tell the queen what I’ve done…” She turned to me and dropped to the ground. “My queen. My queen!”
“I trusted you,” I said in a low voice. “When you entered the service of the Oren-yaro, you were supposed to know where your loyalties lay.”
Her face had gone completely white. “Please…”
“Agos,” I murmured. “Off with her head.”
Treachery was unforgivable. They had been warned. Agos killed her on the spot.
I tried not to flinch at the spray of blood. I turned to Biala Chaen, who was suddenly deathly still. I think she hadn’t expected me to make a decision so quickly. “Let’s talk about you,” I said. I pulled myself into a chair and crossed my legs.
She licked her lips. “There is nothing to say. I never betrayed you.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot? Kora herself said you made her say things. And what’s this about him being so convinced I would come? Where is Rayyel?”
“I don’t know,” Biala said. “He told me to show you what you are: only a woman, trying to play queen. I mean, look at you! Is this what a queen is supposed to look like? Who of your followers are loyal to you—truly you, and not just the idea you represent?”
“Thank you,” I replied. “Is that everything?”
“Ideas do not create rulers, Queen Talyien. Only power does. You have no power.”
I smiled. “Unfortunately for you, in this room, I do.” I drew my sword and struck her across the belly. She gave a small, disbelieving yelp, and then a groan as I did it a second time, across her throat. I watched her body twitch on the floor, the blood mingling with Kora’s. Her eyes met mine, opening and closing as the life ebbed away from her body. I stared right back.
“Queen Talyien,” Khine croaked out.
The Wolf of Oren-yaro (Annals of the Bitch Queen Book 1) Page 32