by Patti Larsen
My luck, I would puke just before blowing us all up.
I actually sweated under my robe, chill of the first night of May forgotten as the droning grew in volume, the coven adding their voices to Mom’s. I tried not to look at anyone and instead stared steadily at the flame of the nearest candle, breathing heavily through my nose to try to keep my fear from those around me.
Mom turned toward me, the power flowing into her, her hands reaching for me. I looked up at her in total and complete panic. I could see her lips moving, knew she intoned the last words of the Beltane spell, but couldn’t hear a thing through the roaring in my ears. I froze, completely lost, anxiety cresting as I realized I had no idea what to do with the ball of light she held out to me, face calm and expectant.
I totally blanked.
This wasn’t some stupid math test. This was Beltane. I was responsible for the well being of the coven, for the ritual tying us to the four elements and the seasons through the reawakening of the world. Our very connection to the magic feeding us. Without the completion of the ceremony, our coven would be weakened and we'd have to wait six months until Samhain in November to renew the energy with no guarantee the power there would be available ever again.
No pressure or anything.
I seriously thought for one brief heartbeat I was going to pass out. I could feel the coven collectively draw a breath and hold it as they waited for me to screw this up.
A tiny hand slid into mine. Warm fingers pressed life into my freezing ones and broke my cycle of terror. All of a sudden, I could think again. The knowledge of exactly what I had to do came flooding back and I squeezed Meira’s hand once, gently, gratefully, before letting her go and learning to breathe all over again.
I reached out to my mother, seeing the surety in her face. She didn’t doubt me, not for one second, unlike some of the others, and I took strength from that. No matter our differences, Mom trusted me completely and I really didn’t want to let her down.
“Welcome, Beltane,” I said, happy my voice came out strong and steady. “Welcome, Spring to our mother the Earth.” I drew some power from the glowing sphere, letting it cling to my fingers before flinging it to the ground where it was absorbed instantly. “To our Sister the Wind.” I repeated the motion to the sky, watching the flickering blue fire scatter from my fingertips. “To our Brother the Water.” I turned a quarter turn and flung the power at the basin of water waiting for me. “And to our Father the Fire.” I lifted the ball from Miriam’s hands and faced the huge pile of wood and branches specifically laid and spelled for the occasion. “Welcome and fill us with the power of your new life.” I threw the ball of power at the bonfire.
Blue flame licked over the wood laid there and I watched, actually fascinated for the first time in my life, as the magical flames engulfed the bespelled wood and lit it alight with supernatural fire.
I sagged for a second when it was done, relief flooding me. I did it without screwing up or throwing up. Amazing.
No time to celebrate. As the flames licked higher, I felt the surge of familiar power as the thing that escaped me the night of the field party made its presence known.
Instantly, the coven, already linked through the ceremony, acted as one to fortify our shields.
I could feel its amusement and despair, licks of emotions coming and going as its magic swelled and faded.
It had been hovering around our weak defenses for quite some time. It let us know without words, only visions from its memory, its vile and disgusting mind filthy in our collective thoughts. Flashes of us from its twisted point of view came and went, tinged with hate. Its presence chuckled as it showed us what it witnessed, that it thought us soft. The final snapshot settled on me. I trembled as the thing passed through me at the same moment, tendrils like slim ribbons of red tinged power feeding the same sucking sensation pulling at my magic. A squeak of fright escaped me and I reached out for support but knew instantly no one else felt the draw I did.
Almost no one. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when Quaid’s hand suddenly filled mine and our magic swelled together. It felt different, though, as though something stood between us, a small thing with little energy, but enough I wasn’t able to fully break through it.
So why then, still vulnerable and exposed, did I find myself actually reaching for the horrid, leeching creature on the other side of the coven’s shield?
***
Chapter Twelve
I think Quaid was just as shocked as I was.
Every other time the two of us even brushed skin against skin, there was this instant seal, a melding of power. I always found it simple to form a bond with his magic, if not with him personally. But, suddenly there was a barrier between, making us weak in the face of the creature. I found myself moving slowly forward, being pulled by the thing, linked to it for some unknown reason and unable to work myself free.
And from what I could tell, Quaid was in the same boat. Whether it had to do with ours being the first power it encountered when it awoke or something else we couldn’t explain, the thing had a thread, a line to us it used to draw us out of the safety of the site and into its hungry arms.
Over my mother’s dead body.
She was there beside me, a force of nature as much as that thing was of the unnatural. A wall of magic severed the connection to it. I staggered slightly, feeling the tug of Quaid’s hand as he suffered the effects of the sudden break. The air in front of me shimmered blue, the color of our family power, but did nothing to interfere with my view.
I almost wished it had.
My demon and I both flinched when we felt the rush of magic flow against and through us, and it took me a moment of panic to realize it was Mom. The painful jerk on my hand told me Quaid and I were still linked, at least as far as my mother was concerned.
All my strength poured out of me in a rush only to flood back so fast I felt dizzy. My focus sharpened, heart stilled. Even my demon quieted into deadly attention, for once working with me instead of against me. I could feel Mom next to me and risked a glance at her.
She was so much more than just my mother. Miriam Hayle, leader of her powerful coven, master of four strains of power stood there, glowing in a column of rainbow light. I opened to her completely, all fear gone, melding with the mind of the family, Quaid’s consciousness sliding past me on the same path.
As one we gave her our power and she swelled with it, glowing in the darkness. The flames gutted low, the element of fire lending her its strength, the very air falling still, the ground beneath our feet trembling at the weight of her presence.
The creature still hovered, its hatred and anger whiplashing around the edges of our shield. I felt the weakness of it as well, a slow and suffering illness holding it back from attacking us full on. There was a purity of evil in it, in every fold of its wasted flesh, in the blackened pits of its eyes shining with a faint but terrible light. Yellowed, fang-like teeth jutted forward, gnashing and grinding in its rage. And yet, a taint of innocence clung to it, as though a purer life fought for freedom. The touch of that essence was almost worse, making me flinch.
I recognized the battle being fought within it, felt my demon snarl in answer.
It was a thing divided and I knew exactly how it felt.
Miriam guided us in exploring it. Ancient and alien at the same time, like nothing any of us had ever felt, it simmered with fire and bubbled with acid hatred. Still, there was a hint of the familiar and I knew we were all confused by the dichotomy. How could this thing be all those and yet none of them? My mother probed deeper but it was too old, too weakened for us to pull out more answers.
It didn’t matter, really. There was no way it could stand against us, not as we were.
Mom gripped it in her terrible power. It writhed and pulsated inside her control, twisting itself into knots to escape. I was as tied to the power as the rest of the coven but the part of me sensing the division within it intimately saw what no one else did.
> We were giving it what it needed.
It was stronger, somehow siphoning off miniscule bits and pieces of the power holding it in place. I reached for my mother in warning at the same time my demon lost her temper and lashed out independently, striking the thing with all her fury.
Its howl was like nothing I ever heard and drove sweat to burst out in a thin layer all over my body. The family power shuddered around me and my mother staggered. The thing pulled free of us and, with a snarl at me that my demon answered, it fled.
Instantly, Uncle Frank and Sunny went after it, flashing away into the darkness. I crumpled as they went, the pull of the thing dragging me along with it as my demon took up her own pursuit.
I fought to bring her back but she refused, jerking herself free and forcing me to go along with her. My mind soared outward, gave chase to the vampires and the thing running from them. I heard Mom call my name, felt the pressure of Quaid’s fingers ease before tightening again. And then I was lost.
My consciousness snapped. I no longer stood in the clearing surrounded by my coven. I ran instead, breathing harsh and labored, body so weak I barely had the strength to flee. I drew power through my feet every time they touched the ground, my only means of survival.
Everything looked sharp and edged, as though it were day and not the dead of Beltane. Incredible pain constantly distracted me as I fled through the trees at dizzying speed. Hunger clawed at me, leaving me in agony. Rage fed all of it, buoyed by crippling grief. I was torn over and over into three pieces only to be slammed back into one consciousness again. I cried out at the overwhelming emotion and physical pain but still I ran and ran.
I knew it wasn’t me. I was aware in the back of my mind this was the creature I felt, whose eyes I saw through, whose pain I endured. I tried to jerk free but the further it went the more of me I lost. My demon howled her revenge, forcing me to stay in the link while I steadily emptied of who I was into the twisted soul of the creature, become one with it.
The forest flashed past me. I needed to escape. I wasn’t ready to take them on. But soon, soon. I would have their paltry magic and I would find the one who imprisoned me and we would end this fight forever.
I stretched so thin, the last of Sydlynn just clinging to the feeling of fingers wrapped around mine. I heard the whispered summons of my mother’s power but it was too late, too far. I couldn’t come back.
My demon snarled. And let go.
Like a rubber band snapping all at once I flew at sickening speed back the way I came, crying out as my mind passed through the two vampires who seemed so far behind the creature, moving faster and faster, dragged by my demon until I slammed forcefully back into myself.
I gasped for air, my chest compressed by the recoil, and struggled to sit up. Sit up? I opened my eyes, panic shaking me to the core, to find myself lying on the grass, my family surrounding me.
Mom pulled me down, cradling my head in her lap while Quaid knelt, his hand still firmly locked in mine. Tears filled my mother’s eyes as she stroked my forehead.
“Syd,” she said. “Are you all right?”
I tried to speak but my throat wouldn’t work. I worked up two swallows from my parched mouth and nodded. “I think so,” I said. Croaked, actually.
She relaxed just a bit, only enough for me to notice. When her head came up, she was all Miriam.
“I want full patrols, day and night. Erica, link with Frank and keep me posted. We need to know where that thing goes to ground.”
“We should have destroyed it tonight,” Celeste said. I could feel her brown eyes glaring at me, accusing me, but refused to look at her.
“In case you hadn’t noticed,” my mother said, “we tried.”
“We almost had it!” Celeste grew bolder. Had been pushing her luck ever since the whole Moromond debacle. My mother shot to her feet and was in the tall woman’s face so fast I would have missed it if I wasn’t watching her. She must have used power to get herself there so quickly and not for the first time I wondered what affect the vampire, demon and Sidhe mix of blood was having on her.
“It wanted us to think so,” Miriam said in her low, level voice while invading Celeste’s space. “All the while it stole our power.”
I was glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed that particular fact. Not like most of the coven would take my word for it. But my mom? They didn’t have much of a choice.
I staggered to standing with no small help from Quaid and faced Celeste myself.
“I felt it too.”
“So did I,” Quaid said. I squeezed his fingers in thanks, surprised when he squeezed back.
I owe your mom, he thought at me.
True enough.
The weight of the coven’s belief was all over Mom, so much Celeste hesitated. It was all the opening my mother needed.
“If you challenge me again,” she said, “you’ll be finding a new coven to call home.”
The whole family froze, their power still. No one spoke, but then again no one needed to. It was out in the open. If Celeste wanted to take control she’d have to go through my mother to do it.
To her credit, Celeste backed down immediately.
“Apologies, coven leader,” she said.
Miriam nodded once, her hand resting on the woman’s shoulder, fingers brushing over the heavy brown braid. “Forgiven. We are all in shock.” Her voice rose, reaching everyone, though it wasn’t necessary. It was so quiet we would have heard her if she whispered. “This enemy is powerful even in such a weakened state. And cunning. We have to be careful.”
She turned in a slow circle, meeting every set of eyes. I marveled again at my mother’s grace and commanding nature. Miriam Hayle was the perfect leader and it reinforced my sincere wish she live forever so I would never, ever have to try to fill her sparkly witch shoes.
“We will prevail. We always do.” Her smile filled us all with warmth, our power still tied to her, though the link was subtle now. “But we have to work together and trust each other.” Her gaze returned to Celeste. “All of us.” She took one step back and slid her arm around me, Quaid still holding my hand on the other side.
Not so subtle.
Celeste bowed and stepped back.
Good enough for me.
***
Chapter Thirteen
Mom left me there with Meira and Quaid while she started to organize the coven in defense. I briefly considered reaching out to Uncle Frank or Sunny but thought the better of it. I’d had enough out of body for one day, thanks. It was only then I realized I’d gone through a huge magical exchange without a single twinge from my normally touchy stomach.
Maybe my body was finally catching up with my need.
It wasn’t until we were all packed up to go home that Quaid let my hand go and to be honest, the moment his fingers slipped free of mine, I missed them. I watched him climb on his bike and drive off, alone. I had to talk to him, to find out if he felt what I did. But I was too tired to even think about it.
I was almost asleep by the time I arrived home and slid into bed. I remembered the soft touch of my mother’s lips on my cheek and her whispered, “I love you,” followed by another whisper, “Stay with her.” Something soft and warm snuggled against my chest, something purring so loud the whole bed vibrated.
And then, sleep.
***
It is very dark and I am afraid and furious, the pain is so fresh, I cannot escape! I am locked away, starving slowly, the agony of it tearing me apart. My fury will sustain me. My rage will keep me alive. My grief… oh my grief will never, ever, let me rest.
***
My eyes opened and for a moment I choked back tears. I felt Sassy’s soft body shift as he sighed and stretched next to me. I looked down at him, hoping he was awake, but he simply relaxed again before settling, upside down, his front paws curled on his chest. I wanted to wake him, to share the dream with him, but I let him sleep.
I knew the dream came from the creature. Part of me felt
terrified I remained linked to it while my demon grumbled and snapped at me for making her retreat.
Overwhelmed, I quietly cried into my pillow for a long time, the numbers on my digital clock slipping by minute by minute until I finally found rest again.
I woke groggy and temperamental, wishing the sun would just take a freaking hike already. It was like my head had been stuffed full of cotton and razor wire and sleep seemed to be the only thing to make me feel better.
Except when I closed my eyes, all I saw was the darkness and the agony came rushing back.
I sat up in bed, jerking the quilt up with me. Sassy awoke instantly but not fast enough to save himself from an unceremonious dump on my bedroom floor.
“Syd!” It took him a moment to right his fat cat body, but when he did he instantly catapulted himself back onto the bed, thick tail thrashing, amber eyes on fire with demon power as he looked around for a threat. “Where? What?”
Maybe it was the fact I was over tired or freaked out or just couldn’t take anymore, but the sight of him standing there, fur at full puff, my chubby silver Persian defender ready to take on anyone or anything, made me burst into uncontrollable giggles.
His head whipped around, blazing eyes fixing me with the most baleful stare. I laughed harder. Sass was so hard to take seriously. And he knew it. And hated it to the core.
“What’s so funny?” One paw swiped over the quilt, claws fully extended. I struggled to get my snickering under control.
“S-s-sorry, S-s-sassy.” I snorted my way through another bout of anxiety-fueled hilarity. “Th-th-thanks for b-b-being here to… to… protect me!” I burst into howls, unable to prevent them, falling back onto my pillow, my feet kicking under the covers as I gave in to the stress and let it out.
By the time the laughter was done, the tears started and my barks of humor turned into gigantic sobs. That was when I realized Sassafras never left me. He curled up in my arms and let me hug him, his harsh tongue sweeping over the tears on my cheeks. I clung to my oldest friend for a long time, soaking his soft body with my weeping, burrowing my face into his fur and letting the solid reality of my demon cat support me.