“You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.” James was sure she hadn’t told the full story to anyone. Stephanie said she knew there was a lot more to what happened than Marina was admitting.
“I know, but I need to be completely honest if this is going to work.” Marina gripped his hand tighter. “I’m not going to bore you with the details of how we met because it was nothing special. We met at a party and exchanged numbers. I fell for him right away and he said he did too. We married a year later.” He didn’t miss her shaky intake of breath.
“Marina, you don’t have to do this.” James didn’t like the way she’d started to tremble.
“It’s time I told someone the whole story. My family doesn’t know how bad it really was and maybe it’ll help with the dreams.” She released his hand and walked to the window. James didn’t want to hear it all because this was going to be horrible. What was he supposed to do? She obviously needed to get this out. If this helped he’d sit there and listen.
“Take your time, sweetheart,” James said. “We’ve got all night.” Marina turned to face him and smiled, but her eyes were filled with tears. She turned back to the window.
“After we were married the first few months was incredible. We’d moved into an apartment close to the university because I was still trying to finish my degree. Marc had just started working at the hospital as a chef. That turned out to only last a few months, but I didn’t know until everything went downhill.”
“He wasn’t working at the hospital?” James said.
“He did for a couple of months, but after he came back from the training seminar, his boss let him go because Marc was screwing things up. His boss said it was like he didn’t know what he was doing. Apparently selling drugs was more lucrative,” Marina said. “He’d leave every day in his white chef’s jacket and his hat. I was so proud of him. I’d go to school and when I’d offer to meet him for lunch, he’d tell me that he didn’t have time.” When she reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek, James brought her a box of tissues and stood next to her.
“Do you want to take a break?”
Marina shook her head as she wiped her eyes. “I found out I was pregnant about two months after we were married. It was before he went away. We hadn’t planned it, but I was so excited. Marc was too, at first.”
“That changed?” James couldn’t understand why Marc wouldn’t be happy about having a child or at least change how he felt.
“I was a little over three months pregnant when he was sent on that training seminar. He said it was for some new health standards that the hospital was trying to implement with their food service. When he came back a week later, he was like a different person. He’d gotten a tattoo and there was something about his eyes that changed. That night was the first time he...” Marina took a shuddering breath. “The first time he hit me.”
“I’m sorry he did that to you.” James really didn’t know what else to say.
“I was in such shock, I didn’t know what to do, but he apologized right away and said he was just stressed at work.” Marina wiped her cheek. “The only time he touched me when he returned from that trip was to hit me, and after that night it got worse. He was really careful to not leave any visible marks and if he did, I was careful to cover them up. My family were constantly asking what was wrong, but I’d brush it off as pregnancy stuff. My dad called one day and asked him what was wrong with me, and that’s when Marc started to put distance between them and me. He’d monitor my calls and make excuses why we couldn’t visit.”
“That’s not unusual for abusers.” James had heard the story too many times.
“I found the drugs under our bed about a month later, and I don’t know why I’d never seen it there before, but when I opened the box I almost passed out. He came home that night and I confronted him. I was so tired of being afraid. He shoved me against the wall and slapped me so hard my ears rang. Told me I had no right to be digging around in his stuff. He wrapped his hands around my throat and I was pretty close to passing out, but something came over me and I pushed him so hard he fell over a chair. I told him to leave or I was calling the police.”
“He lunged at me but something stopped him before he grabbed me again. He just grinned and it was so sadistic. I thought he was going to kill me, but he backed away and told me he never loved me and he didn’t want the baby. He packed some stuff and left. I sat on the floor and cried and I don’t know how long I was there before I got up. It was a week before I called my family. I had to wait for the marks on my neck and my face to fade. I guess I was ashamed that I’d let him do those things to me because I never grew up with a man like that. My dad is the gentlest man in the world and he treats my mom with so much love and respect. You know if someone had asked me what I would do if a man abused me seven or eight years ago, I’d probably tell them he wouldn’t do it a second time but honestly the only thing that gave me the courage to finally kick him out was I wasn’t going to let him ever do that to my child. I’ll kill Marc before I’ll let him get his hands on Danny.”
“Marina, I wish I could take away everything Marc did to you, but I know it happens more times than it should.” James wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He ignored the comment about killing Marc because he wasn’t really thinking as a cop at the moment and he understood the protection instinct as a father. She rested her cheek against his chest.
“He wasn’t the man I fell in love with. The Marc I married was sweet, gentle and I don’t know what happened but I blame the drugs.”
James could feel the dampness of her tears on his T-shirt, but he didn’t care if she soaked him. Marina obviously needed to get all of her emotions out because she’d been keeping this all to herself because she didn’t want to upset her family.
“There’s no excuse for what he did, sweetheart.” James rubbed his hand up and down her back. “No man should treat any woman that way.”
“You’re the first person I’ve told the whole story.” Marina pulled back and gazed into his eyes. “I didn’t even tell my therapist all of that. I don’t want my family to know. They had a hard enough time dealing with what I did tell them.”
“I understand but I’m honored you felt comfortable enough to tell me.” James kissed her forehead. “I’m really surprised, though.”
“Surprised? Why?” Marina stared up at him.
“I’ve met your dad and I’m surprised he didn’t beat Marc to a pulp.” James caressed her cheek with his index finger.
“It wasn’t because he didn’t want to.” Marina smiled as she leaned into his touch. “It took my mom, my sister and two of the men that work for him to keep him from leaving the house when I told them some of what happened. If I’d told them everything, he’d probably be in jail.”
“Probably a good thing. I don’t think Marc is worth your dad going to jail.” James smiled down at her and she stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you.” She tucked her head under his chin and he held her in his arms. He didn’t know how long they stood there but he could feel her tension ease.
“So, I guess we can talk about you and me now.” Marina’s voice was just above a whisper.
“We take things at your pace, and until we find out what Marc is up to, you’ll stay here. I need to know you and Danny are safe.” He rested his cheek against the top of her head and held her tightly.
“Okay,” was all she said while she wrapped her arms around his waist. He prayed it wouldn’t take long to find Marc because he didn’t want the asshole to have her living in fear of when he would pop up out of nowhere or create havoc in her life. He’d screwed with her life long enough.
Chapter 13
A week had passed since the break in and Marc was still ‘in the wind’ as James called it. It wasn’t any trouble to tell he was concerned because he’d requested another week off so he could be home with her. Although, she had no idea why he would need to stay home because of the
two men that Keith had permanently stationed in front of James’ house.
One of them would be there during the day and the other during the night. Danny and Mason had started referring to the two men as ‘the superheroes.’ Probably because the one she’d come to know as Trunk had worn a T-shirt with Superman on it and the boys dubbed him Superman. The other guy who’d been introduced as Hulk had the boys a little confused because he wasn’t green, but the mountain of a man explained he only turns green when he was chasing bad guys. It appeased the boys.
Marina’s boss insisted she work from home because he was worried about her driving back and forth by herself. David Molloy was one of the best bosses a person could ask for, and she thanked her lucky stars to be working for him. Still, the guilt of having everyone go out of their way for her was starting to take its toll.
She was starting to settle into James’ house and the thought of leaving made her stomach clench and not because she was afraid to go home. No, the reason she wanted to puke when she thought of going home was because she wouldn’t see James every day. She loved to spend time with him, but it was frustrating at the same time. Being around the man would send anyone’s hormones into overdrive, but his care and concern for her son was making her fall so fast it was terrifying.
Stephanie had called a few times over the course of the last week, and her sister was relieved Marina agreed to stay with James. Not only to make sure she and Danny were safe, but it would give her and James more time to get to know each other. Marina didn’t tell her about the kisses.
James said he was going go at her pace and there were moments when she wanted to double the pace, but then she’d remember her situation. It wasn’t fair to start anything with James until everything with Marc was resolved.
James seemed to sense her seesaw of emotions because the only time he’d touched her since the night she opened up to him, was a quick kiss on the cheek goodnight or a hug when she seemed to be having a rough moment. She appreciated the support so much but she really wanted more. She just wasn’t sure how much more she was ready for.
James was doing everything to make her comfortable and had gone as far as setting up a desk in the corner of his living room for her to work. When she was working, he kept the boys busy so they wouldn’t disturb her. Mason would go to school in the morning and Marina would entertain Danny until Mason got home. Neither of them had been to daycare since the break-in mainly because Keith had said it would be safer.
The O’Connors were bending over backwards for her with the brothers constantly stopping by to entertain the boys. At least one of the women dropped in every day for a little girl time—and to ogle Keith’s security guys. She had to admit they were pretty hot, but James was the only one to get her blood pumping.
She hadn’t seen Sandy since that first night of the break-in but Keith said something about her needing to get out of town for a couple of weeks. It was strange, because Ian had been in the room when Keith told everyone and there was some obvious tension in both brothers at the mention of Sandy. Marina wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was sure Sandy would fill her in when she got back home.
Then there was Nanny Betty, the comic relief in her otherwise tense life. The woman showed up every day with some sort of baked goods demanding Hulk and Trunk to come inside and eat. Marina could almost tell the time when the older woman breezed through. It was always after lunch when Hulk and Trunk would be switching out. The minute she walked in, James jumped at her commands. He wasn’t the only one. Marina found herself jumping for the woman’s orders as well as anyone else who was there. Nanny Betty definitely knew how to crack the whip. Marina had grown to adore her and looked forward to her visits.
It had been a pretty quiet day, and she answered the last of her emails. She’d also sent off the last of her editing to David with an email telling him she was hoping to be back in the office soon. She glanced up from her laptop to see James’ tall, muscular frame propped against the doorjamb with his arms folded across his chest. Her stomach fluttered, and it was everything she could do not to sigh at the sight of him. Then he had to go and smile. Oh dear God!
“I think it’s time to leave the office, Ms. Kelly.” He was yummy in his white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose his strong forearms and the top three buttons open, revealing the light dusting of dark hair on his chest. The worn blue jeans hung low on his hips and fit him so right. She finally knew what it meant for someone to take her breath away, because every time she saw him, James did that.
She smiled and stretched her arms over her head to work out the kinks. His eyes moved to her exposed midsection where her shirt slipped over her stomach, and his blue eyes sparkled. His intense stare sent a shiver of desire through her body, and that craving for him to touch her hit her like a freight train. She wanted him and she wasn’t going to be able to hold back much longer.
“I guess you’re right. It’s almost bath time for the boys anyway.” She stood up and walked around the desk.
“Already done.” He looked proud of himself. “They’re waiting for a story from you.” She could really get used to this, but she was worried Danny was getting way to comfortable. He hadn’t even asked when they were going back home and he loved sharing a room with Mason so much they had ceased calling it Mason’s room. Both boys now said ‘their room.’
Then there was all the pent-up sexual feelings she had. She wanted James so damn bad and he seemed intent on letting her set the pace. She didn’t know what to do because she’d never been the one to make the first move on anyone and she was too embarrassed to tell him she was going to combust. She walked by him and he grabbed her hand.
“Are you okay?” She wasn’t keeping her emotions hidden as well as she thought, because he’d obviously seen the frustration on her face and what was she supposed to say—‘I’m so damn horny I need you to do me now?’ That wouldn’t be awkward at all.
“I’m fine, but do you know what would make me feel a whole lot better?” She knew he was probably going to hate her for it, but she couldn’t help it.
“What?” His hand tightened on hers.
“To hear you sing the tough boys song to Mason and Danny.” She burst out laughing at the look of mortification on his face.
“That’s not fair.” He narrowed his eyes.
“Sorry, but it’s the only thing that will help.” She exaggerated a sigh, turned, and ran upstairs. She knew he’d be behind her any second because Mason would not sleep without the song, but she always seemed to miss him singing it. Why he tried to hide it was beyond her. His voice was amazing. She grinned when he walked into the room while she was sitting on Danny’s bed reading to both boys.
“Marina said it’s time for the tough guy song,” James said as he met her gaze.
She felt guilty, because he seemed to be so uncomfortable, but not to the point that she was going to miss him singing. She wondered why he was so intent on not singing in front of anyone. His brothers didn’t seem to have an issue with it or at least most of them.
“Yay!” The boys cheered and scrambled into their separate beds. Marina walked to the door, and James glanced at her. She smiled as he shook his head just before his soft, soothing voice filled the room. She closed her eyes and let the sound flow over her. She’d always loved the song, but the way he sang it made her love it even more.
Mason and Danny were asleep before the song ended, and instead of waiting until he finished she went to her room and showered. Once she’d dried herself and changed into some comfortable yoga pants and a tank top, she headed downstairs.
James was on the back deck sitting on the railing. She grabbed a sweater she’d hung up earlier in the foyer and then hurried to the kitchen. With a beer for James and a glass of wine for herself, she headed outside to join him.
“Thought you might want this.” She held out the bottle.
“Thanks.” His voice seemed strange, but she didn’t say anything because she was distracted by the view of the oc
ean. It really was relaxing to watch the waves rolling, but it didn’t distract her from the feeling of James’ gaze.
“Is something wrong?” She couldn’t read his expression.
“I’m fine.” He didn’t sound okay, but she didn’t push it.
“Marina, how long has it been since you’ve seen Marc?” He didn’t look at her and she’d answered this question already.
“I told you the last time was when he was beating on John’s door.” Did he not believe her?
“I don’t mean to pry, but it seems strange that he’d come back after all this time. He’s wants something. Think about it. He didn’t take anything from your house, except that picture of Danny, but the way your house looked, it was as if he was tearing everything apart to find something.” James turned towards her.
“I don’t know what it could be. I don’t have anything at my house that belongs to him.” She’d made sure there was nothing left of Marc, and what he didn’t take, her father kept stored in his shed in case Marc wanted it. She wasn’t even sure if the stuff was still there.
“Maybe I’m just overthinking things. How about we watch a movie or something. It’s still early and I’m not tired.” He pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Unless you’re tired, I understand if you want to call it a night.” Marina stood on her toes and kissed his cheek.
“A movie sounds great.” She was tired, but there was no way she was saying no to spending an evening with James.
“Great! I need to run to the store and pick up some milk for the morning.” James walked into the house. “You can make some popcorn while I’m gone. I won’t be long and Bull is outside keeping an eye on things.”
“Doesn’t he get cold out there?” Marina felt safer with Keith’s guys outside but the weather was starting to get cold.
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