by Tracee Ford
“Well, it doesn’t taste as good as you, you can be sure of that.” He said with a smile.
Blushing again, she continued picking at the grapes.
“I just want you to know,” he continued, “this is the best date I have ever been on.”
“I don’t know,” she disagreed. “I’ve enjoyed myself every time we’ve been out together.”
He smiled as she touched his face.
“Matt,” she started, “Tell me what you see when you look at me. You are always telling me that I don’t see myself the way you see me. And I noticed how intensely you look at me when we’re intimate. I’ve never experienced that before. So, tell me what you see.”
“Well,” he answered putting his hand on her upper thigh, “I see passion and kindness and goodness. Really, Robin, it’s like you have been a part of me all along.” He paused. “Sounds like a line doesn’t it?”
“No. I think it’s endearing.” She paused for a second and then met his stare. “Do you believe in destiny Matt?”
“I didn’t until I met you. Don’t get me wrong, hell yeah, I’m afraid. But this, you and me, I’ve never experienced anything like this before.”
“Well, it’s good to know that we’re on the same page.”
“Oh yeah, baby. I’m right there with ya.”
After an exhilarating night, Matt stayed with Robin all weekend. Luckily, he always kept extra clothing at Robin’s. She enjoyed every moment with him and especially enjoyed making love to him each time the opportunity presented itself.
By the time he left Sunday morning, Robin was exhausted. Still, it was hard to let him go. The weekend reminded her of a dream; a fairy tale actually.
When he left, Robin found herself pondering. She had always believed strongly in soul connections and she truly felt Matt’s soul connected to hers. He unlocked a part of her that she believed died. She admitted to herself she had fallen deeply in love with Matt and realized resisting it was useless.
****
A week passed. Matt invited Robin to his apartment. When she arrived, she calmly walked to the door and knocked. She heard commotion inside and a little girl squealing. Quickly the door opened and she saw Matt with a beautiful little girl with curly blonde pig tails perched on his back.
“Hey,” Matt said breathlessly. “Wanna play?”
She smiled.
“Matt, you should have told me you had your daughter this weekend.”
“Oh shut up and get in here,” he said playfully.
She opened the screen door and watched him run down the hallway as the little girl screeched loudly. He let her down at the end of the hall and she ran toward Robin.
“I’m Olivia,” she said sweetly as she put out her hand to shake.
“I’m Robin,” she said as she knelt and shook her hand. “It’s very nice to meet you Olivia.”
“My daddy calls me Olly.”
“Oh, okay. Olly.”
“My daddy said you were pretty,” she said with a wide smile.
“That’s sweet. Well, your daddy is pretty handsome, too.”
“I know. My mommy said that all the nurses think he’s hot,” she blurted out.
“Oh, I see,” she acknowledged with a smirk.
Robin saw Matt grin as he walked into the living room. He wore a pair of army green cargo shorts and a tan scoop neck t-shirt. His feet were bare.
Their eyes met.
“You thirsty?” he asked.
“Oh no, I’m fine,” she replied.
“You’re looking casually fine tonight Miss Hillard. Do you have a boyfriend?” Robin wore a pair of white Capri style sweats, a red tank top, sneakers, and her hair pulled up in messy bun.
She laughed and nodded.
“Thank you, and yes, I do have a boyfriend; a very handsome boyfriend.”
She observed as Matt walked to Olivia and knelt.
“Listen,” he began quietly, “how about we go rent some movies? Maybe we’ll go to putt-putt golf and then come back here and hang out? Maybe order a pizza?”
“Yeah!” she shouted, jumping up and down wildly. The claps echoed down the hallway as she ran to her room to get her shoes.
Robin smiled. “She is beautiful, Matt.”
“Thanks.” He stood up and walked to Robin. “Those plans okay with you?” he asked thoughtfully.
“Yes. You should’ve told me she was visiting this weekend. I feel like I’m imposing.”
“You’re not. And just for the record, I have a little something extra for you later,” he said as he walked closer to her.
“You do?”
“Oh yeah,” he said as a seductive grin found his lips. He leaned closer and kissed her lips. “I’ve missed you,” he said sincerely “and we’ve got some catching up to do. I can’t get a little taste of you and then go without for a week.”
“But we saw each other Tuesday and Wednesday.”
“Yeah, but we had clothing on both times.”
She gave him a friendly smack on the arm.
“What?” he asked shrugging innocently. “It’s not the same as when the clothing is strung all over the floor.”
After a very quick stop at the movie rental store, they arrived at putt-putt golf. Olivia was very good at it. Robin enjoyed watching Matt with her, impressed by what a wonderful father he was. She felt privileged to be part of his life. Each time Olivia made a putt, Matt shouted madly as if she were a pro-golfer on the tour.
After putt-putt, they arrived at the pizza parlor. By 8:30 they settled back in at the apartment. After Olivia’s bath, Matt popped in The Wizard of Oz. Matt sat in the rocker-recliner with Olivia who quickly fell asleep on his chest.
He finally excused himself and carried her to her room as Robin waited quietly on the couch. She heard the refrigerator door open after a few moments. “Bottled water okay?” Matt asked.
“That’s fine,” she replied. “Is it okay if I take a shower though? I’m sort of sweaty from playing putt-putt in this heat.”
“Of course.”
Her shower didn’t last long and she emerged wearing a red t-shirt belonging to Matt. He sat in the recliner, beer in hand, wearing his plaid cotton boxers and no shirt.
After grabbing the bottled water, Robin walked to the sofa and sat down. Matt stood and walked to the opposite end of the couch and sat down. He leaned over and put the beer on a coaster that sat on the end table. Then, he grabbed Robin’s feet and plopped them on his lap. To her surprise and delight, he massaged them. The room was quiet, the TV off.
“I will make sure I’m gone by the time she wakes up. I think that sends a bad message to her if I stay all night and am here when she gets out of bed,” Robin said considerately.
“I appreciate that.”
“She’s an amazing little girl, your Olly,” she complimented.
“She is,” he said with a long pause. He reached for the beer and took a drink. “Too bad she’s not really mine.”
Robin said nothing. Speechless, she simply took a swig of her water. She didn’t press the issue either.
“Sheryl had one affair right after the other when we were married,” he continued. “Seemed like I could never keep her satisfied; I felt like a failure. The sex was never good enough for her. Communication was never open enough for her. She used to find fault in everything I did. Six years ago she had one affair that we would both live with for the rest of our lives. She had gotten pregnant with Olly. We hadn’t had sex for months, so I knew I wasn’t the father. I remember just how matter-of-fact she was when she told me she was pregnant; makes me sick when I think about it now. Olly is the result of one of her many affairs. Honestly, I don’t think she even knows who the dad is. But I was raised to honor my marriage, so I stayed with her. Olivia has always known me as her daddy; that’ll never change. I’m the one who walked the floors with her while she had colic. I’m the one who fed her and bathed her and watched her learn how to walk and talk. I don’t give a damn about her biological father or w
ho he might be. The point is, I’m her father and she’ll never know the difference.”
“That is commendable Matt.”
“Believe me, I wanted to run far and fast. But I made a commitment.” He took another drink from the bottle of beer. “I’m loyal. Even to people that don’t deserve it.”
“You’re a good man,” she said with a smile. “I can’t relate to the dissatisfaction she talked about though. Personally, I think she needs her head examined. I don’t agree with any of her criticisms at all.You are an unbelievable lover; so tender and sweet. As for communication, you and I talk about everything. I feel like I can share anything with you. You are kind and you always think of me first in every situation without thought of reward or personal gain. You are a wonderful, wonderful man. I know you were sent to me. You’re a blessing to me, Matt. Sincerely, you are.”
“Thank you,” he said as his cheeks began to turn the color of rose.
“Look who’s blushing now?” she pointed out.
“You don’t see this often in a man do you?”
She could see his embarrassment. “I love it,” she assured him.
Nudging her on was the still small voice in her mind telling her to confide in Matt about her past with Brett.
“I need to tell you something,” she began quietly as she made eye contact with him.
He shifted his weight and sat facing her. The intensity in his posture made it difficult for her to find the words.
She took a deep breath in and then began.
“I am going to tell you something that only a few people know and completely understand. I really don’t know how to start, so I’m just going to. I met a man named Brett. We were together almost four years and the first two years were great. Many times, I thought it was too good to be true.”
She stopped and realized the situation with Matt felt similar to her now and that terrified her. She struggled to continue.
“After the two years, Brett turned into a different person. He got involved with some people that he shouldn’t have. He had an addictive nature anyway, so when he was introduced to drugs, everything changed. We had already moved in together, too. When he was high he became this… this… other person as most people with substance abuse do. He was mean and very hateful. He used to say things to me about my appearance; my weight.”
“Your weight?” Matt interrupted.
She nodded. “The beatings didn’t start until the last part of our relationship. The first time he ever put his hands on me was when I had burnt a pizza. He grabbed me by my arm and squeezed it so hard I thought it would break. He called me a fat, lazy bitch; told me I was no good to anyone. I can’t even remember how many times Brett slammed me against the wall or punched me in the stomach. I didn’t dare tell anyone. I was so ashamed. You see, I knew better. My education had taught me that no one should ever stay in situations like mine. But I thought he would change and I loved the man he was before the drugs. I lost count of E.R. visits and all of the lies I told. It didn’t take Wendy long to figure everything out and she confronted me about it. She was one person I knew I couldn’t lie to. She knew me better than anyone.”
One night he pulled my hair out in chunks. I went to Wendy’s crying. She went with me to the police and we filed a report. I met a domestic violence counselor and I filed a protection order against Brett. Colin, do you remember him? He’s the police officer from softball?”
“Yes, I remember,” he replied.
“He was the officer who took the report. After that, he took me on as a personal charity case,” she said with a chuckle. “Anyway, because the apartment in Hamilton was legally mine, Brett had to move out. Colin was there to make sure he left quietly while I stayed with Wendy. For the first few weeks, things were good. I was starting to feel a little stronger. Wendy stayed at the apartment with me a lot. I went to my counseling and my domestic violence groups. It really helped me understand things. There I was a social worker and couldn’t dig myself out from underneath the torture of a violent relationship. I was so upset with myself.”
The tears rolled down her cheeks and she barely held herself together. As Robin’s eyes met Matt’s, she could see his heart breaking as she told the story. He continued listening attentively.
“One night after one of my groups, I walked to my car. I got in and the next thing I felt was a gun to the back of my head. Then I heard his voice. He told me to drive to the apartment and if I didn’t do it or if I tried to flag down help, he was going to shoot me. I had been trained to run in situations like that, but it’s amazing what happens when you’re actually put in a situation like that. Everything you’ve learned to protect yourself goes right out the window.
“So, I drove to the apartment, just like he told me to, we went in, and that’s when it all started. He tortured me for hours.” She choked on her words. “He did things to me that no one should ever have to experience. He raped me repeatedly. He burned me with cigarettes. I lost count of all of the times he punched me. He threw me around like a rag doll. I just knew I was going to die. I knew he wasn’t going to let me walk out of that apartment. Because I always called Wendy when I got home and she hadn’t heard from me, I knew that was my only saving grace because I hadn’t called her. Thankfully, she called Colin. Colin called my apartment and Brett answered the phone. My life was in Brett’s hands for an entire night and day. There were times when I begged to die.” She breathed deeply and brushed the tears from her face. “SWAT busted down the door eventually and they took Brett away in cuffs. I wanted to see him rot. He took my dignity. He took my trust. He destroyed me. That day, after it was all over, I sat on the apartment steps with Colin. He was there for me. He rode with me in the ambulance. He held my hand. He promised to protect me. Several of my ribs were cracked, my wrist was broken, and I was covered in bruises and cuts. My face swelled so badly I couldn’t see. I didn’t even recognize my own face. Just one simple mistake in judgment led me into one of the darkest places in my life.”
“You’re wrong,” he interrupted.
Her face contorted and she tilted her head.
“What happened to you,” Matt continued, “didn’t have anything to do with your judgment. Drugs had everything to do with it.”
She nodded. “You’re right, but I blamed myself. I felt like I should have known better; like I should have seen the signs and ran. But, I didn’t run. I stayed.” She sighed. “But, there is so much that therapy taught me. I have learned to forgive myself. In fact, you’ve taught me how to overcome my doubts and most of my fears. Like I said, Matt, you are my miracle.”
“You rose from the ashes, Robin,” he interjected. “That had nothing to do with me.”
She smiled. “I did, but, still, it has a lot to do with you.” She nodded. “You’ve taught me how to smile again and how important it is to believe in myself. The situation with Brett… it put me on high alert, though. I still am cautious.”
Matt stood and walked to Robin, kneeling in front of her on the floor. Her hands trembled as he took them into his. He then swept the tears from her face and grinned.
“Listen, I will never, never do anything like that to you; ever. It pisses me off that you had to go through that. You are such a great person, Robin; worthy of so much more. Worthy of respect and love; you know that, right?”
“I do now,” she said softly.
“I want you know how much it means to me that you told me about this. I feel honored that you trust me enough to confide in me about such a painful experience in your life. I know that I tell you this all of the time, Robin, but I’m telling you again. You are amazing. It makes complete sense to me now why you were so guarded and so scared before, but you don’t need to be scared anymore.”
“I know.” She still cried softly.
The closeness she felt when Matt took her into his arms provided comfort that she simply couldn’t put into words. She continued weeping for what seemed to be an eternity, but Matt didn’t seem to mind.
&n
bsp; When they made love that night, she felt the determination in his touch. The intent to wipe out all of the negativity associated with her troubled past. She felt the same way about him. With each kiss and with each caress, she hoped to erase all of the heartbreak in his past, too.
As they lay in bed, resting, she nestled into him.
“No matter what happens,” he whispered, “I will always be the one you can count on.”
Chapter Three
Surprise
After the night Robin confessed everything to Matt about her past with Brett, their bond strengthened. They spent even more time together. Matt knew exactly what it took to earn and maintain Robin’s trust. Gifts became a regular occurrence, ranging from necklaces to bracelets to flowers to candy. The support and affection he offered was unmatched. Robin saw the sincerity behind every gesture.
Mid-August brought intense heat. The softball games coming quickly to a close with the start of school also meant an influx of cases at the agency. Robin hoped this year might be different, but she sincerely doubted it.
After the Thursday night softball game, Robin drove home looking forward to a nice, hot shower. As she made her way across town, she thought about the transition she had made from her intake position to being the supervisor of the entire department. It exhausted her, raising her stress level far beyond anything she’d experienced before. So much needed to be done and so many of the employees seemed angry. She knew she needed the trust of her workers to keep the team working cohesively.
One of the positive things that came from her promotion was a new car. She financed a Jeep Cherokee. It was silver and equipped with heated leather seats, a touch screen radio and navigation system, and sun roof; she finally owned the car she had dreamed of. As she pulled into her parking place at the apartment building, she noticed an unfamiliar white Saturn parked in the lot. She stepped out of the Jeep and slung the duffle bag over her shoulder. As she walked closer, she noticed a tall blonde woman getting out of the car. She didn’t recognize her.