by Debra Doxer
Those brown eyes of his with their gold flecks reinforced his gentle smile once I caught my breath. “I like waking up this way,” he said.
I laughed. He liked it.
When I reached down to rub him over his briefs, he groaned softly. Then he looked at me. “Sarah, you don’t have to . . .”
Pressing my fingers to his lips, I rolled to the side and nudged him onto his back. “I want to.” I wanted to make him feel good. I wanted to see him lose control.
He watched silently as I pulled down his underwear to look at him. He was growing harder under my gaze, and my body tightened at the sight. I gripped him gently, watching his lids lower and his breath quicken as I enjoyed the silky feel of his skin. Stroking him, I leaned forward and kissed his mouth the same way he’d kissed mine when his fingers were inside me. My hair fanned down over his chest and by the way he pulled in a breath, I assumed he liked the feel of it. I increased the pace of my hand as I licked and tasted his mouth. Spencer growled low in his throat, his eyes squeezing closed just before wet warmth spread across my wrist.
He reached into my hair, pushing it back off my face as his eyes regained their focus. “God, Sarah. You’re so fucking sexy.”
My head sank down onto his chest where his heart was beating fast. Spencer Pierce thinks I’m sexy. I smiled against his skin.
We stayed that way until we heard the sound of the front door opening.
“Colby probably came back for his run,” Spencer murmured. He reached across my body for a tissue and handed it to me.
I glanced at the clock for the first time today to see that it was nearly ten already.
“What are your plans for the day?” Spencer asked as I got up off the bed and started gathering my things.
I paused, letting a sinking feeling sway me for a moment at the thought of what I had to do today, before I shook out the sundress that I’d folded and put aside last night. “I have to call my mother and tell her about Russ. I can’t chicken-out this time.”
He sat up and watched me.
“I should probably head back to Riley’s so I can shower and change clothes.”
He eyed me for a moment before he simply nodded. Then he pulled on a shirt and went out to the kitchen to see Colby, giving me time to get myself together. When I stepped into the living room with the sundress from last night on and my hair pulled up into a messy bun, Colby was standing there wearing gym shorts and nothing else.
“Morning, Sarah.”
I smiled, trying not to stare at his sculpted chest covered in colorful tattoos. “Good morning.”
“I could get used to this place,” Colby said, continuing his conversation with Spencer, who was still in the kitchen. “The beach is right outside our door, and the waves sing me to sleep every night. When we get back to school, all the traffic and car horns are going to fucking kill me. Let’s stay. We’ll make them kick our asses out.”
Spencer grinned indulgently as he poured coffee into two mugs sitting on the counter. “You’d miss the homeless guy that sits by the ATM on the corner singing how he’s got the moves like Jagger.”
Colby walked past me. “Actually, that dude has a decent voice. But hanging out by the ATM is a bad move. That thing only spits out twenties. Who’s going to pay him twenty bucks for his moves? They look more like Keith Richards than Mick Jagger.”
“I saw you slip him a twenty once.”
“It was all I had on me,” Colby grumbled.
I giggled at them. When Colby walked over to the refrigerator, Spencer handed me the coffee. “Cream?” he asked.
I nodded and heard my phone beep in my purse, which was sitting on the floor by the couch. Spencer went for the cream while I went to check it. There was a call from my mom and a text from Tessa. I opened the text and stared at what appeared to be a guy’s toned ass squeezed into a pair of black Speedos.
TESSA: Washboard abs and buns of steel!
“Is that what I think it is?” Colby asked from behind me.
I gasped and spun around.
“Let me see.” He reached for my phone, which I held behind me. When he tried to go around my side, I backed up and nearly fell onto the couch. Moving fast, Colby grabbed my hand and got the phone away just as Spencer came back out with the cream.
I crossed my arms and scowled at Colby. “Give it back.”
Spencer looked confused. “Why the fuck did you take her phone?”
Colby grinned. “She’s got a guy texting her pictures of his ass. Is he sending you dick pics too?”
Spencer arched an eyebrow at me.
“No!” I answered, mortified. “They’re not from a guy. They’re from my friend Tessa. She’s got the hots for him and she’s sending me pictures to show me his, um, assets.”
Spencer and Colby just stared at me with unreadable expressions.
“What? I don’t want them on my phone. It’s not like I asked her to send them to me.”
With a hand on his hip, Colby asked, “Has she sent any pictures of his face?”
Busted. I shook my head.
Colby sighed dramatically. “We’re all just sex objects to you girls. I feel so demeaned.” Then he tossed the phone back to me. “How many pictures of Spencer’s assets have you sent to her?”
Fumbling and nearly dropping it, I said, “None.”
Colby clapped Spencer on the back as he left the room. “Dude, you’ve got to hit the gym if you want your ass to be text-worthy.”
Spencer gave me an amused look and waited until Colby shut his door to say, “You know, if you didn’t want the pictures, you could delete them.”
I bit my lip as my face caught fire. I might have glanced at that eight-pack a few too many times. Wanting to deflect, I said, “I think your ass is text-worthy.” I held up my phone. “Turn around and I’ll grab a shot of it.”
He smirked. “Have you been checking out my backside, Sarah?”
I smiled coyly. “Maybe.”
Spencer laughed. “Well, I’ve had my eye on yours too, and my hand, if memory serves.”
His memory was accurate, and my insides pulsed at the thought of it.
Colby reappeared and stopped when he looked at me. “You’re still blushing over those pictures? That’s so fucking adorable.” He turned to Spencer. “You two ready? I need to get my run in at some point today.”
Colby ended up following us back to Riley’s apartment so Spencer could leave her car there and ride back with Colby in the van. Since they had to play another show tonight, Spencer asked if I wanted to come again and hang out backstage this time.
There was no way I’d pass up a chance to see him play, so I agreed. They only had one more string of shows on another part of the Cape next week, and then the season was over. Everyone would head back to school, including Spencer and me. I was already imagining what it would be like to live in the same city as him, to be together with him there. It all seemed too good to be true.
When I walked into the apartment, Riley was standing at the sink scraping what smelled like bacon residue off a pan. “Did you have fun last night?” she asked.
“I did,” I replied, grinning at the memory as I sat at the counter.
She eyed me knowingly. “Yes, I believe you did.” Then she glanced at her watch. “I need my car today to look for a job. You can come with. Otherwise, you’re kind of stranded here.”
“I have some calls to make. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’m going to the show again tonight. Are you coming?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
Then I watched as she grabbed her stuff and left me there with my phone and the call I didn’t want to make. It was the same call I didn’t want to make yesterday. I sighed. To put it off a little longer, I thought of Colby’s comment and texted Tessa back because he did have a point.
ME: Rockin’ body. I get it. But does he have a face?
She texted right back.
TESSA: I don’t know. Probably.
When I told my mother
about the bribes, her reaction floored me.
“I knew. So did your father.”
Pressing the phone to my ear, I pulled my legs up onto the couch. “You knew?”
She blew out a breath. “It’s a small town, Sarah.”
“If Dad knew Russ was taking bribes from Jackson Pierce, how could he be friends with him? How could you?” I could hear the way my voice rose. When I dialed the phone, I figured there’d be hysterics, I just didn’t think I’d be the one having them.
“It was getting difficult to stay friends with him, with all of them,” she said. “Your dad was his own worst enemy sometimes.”
I sat up. “Why? Because he believed in doing the right thing?”
“Because he was stubborn and unrealistic.”
“You think he should have taken bribes too?”
“No. Of course not,” she snapped. Then she sighed. “But he should have stayed out of it. He wasn’t involved. He didn’t need to make it his business. Did Russ tell you all this? I have to say, I’m surprised.”
She knew about the bribes. This whole time she knew. Sinking deeper into the cushions, I realized I probably shouldn’t reveal that Spencer told me. I didn’t know what she might do with that information. “It wasn’t Russ.”
“Who was it then?”
I ignored her question. “Did you know they kept taking his money even after he killed Dad? They didn’t send us away to protect us. They didn’t rip up my statement because they cared about me. They did it because Jackson paid them to.”
She didn’t say anything in response.
“Did you hear what I said?”
The all-too-familiar sound of her crying softly came over the line. I sat there and listened, hating the way my insides twisted, not wanting to sympathize with her when she’d kept this from me.
“Mom?” I said gently.
“You can’t understand,” she said. “I was all alone. They came and told me your life was in danger. That we were all in danger. I believed them. They were trying to protect you. I knew they cared about us, but I knew about the money too. I hate it as much as you do, but it’s not as black and white as you make it sound.”
“Is that how Dad saw it? Black and white. Right and wrong.”
“Yes. You’ve always been so much like him,” she said quietly.
I wiped at my eyes. “If you hate it so much, how could you stay friends with Russ all this time?”
After a pause, she said, “He didn’t keep the money. He gave it to me to pay for the funeral and the move.”
“He what?” My feet slid to the floor.
“Where did you think I got the money for those things? Russ was worried about us, especially you. Anytime you left the house, he was with you. He took it upon himself to take you to all your doctor appointments, and he helped me arrange the funeral. He stood by us.”
I pushed up off the couch. Russ gave us his money? That meant Jackson Pierce had unknowingly paid for Dad’s funeral and for our escape.
So much had gone on that I knew nothing about. I wanted to hate my mother. This was why Dad was angry about work all the time. Instead of supporting him, she told him to ignore it. But how could he when it was happening right under his nose? How could she ask him to?
I’d never understood her, and I couldn’t understand her now. As much as I wanted to yell at my mother and make her see how wrong she was, I could still hear her sniffling softly. I couldn’t forget how much she’d suffered since Dad died, and I couldn’t bring myself to make her feel any worse.
In the end, I didn’t tell her about wanting to give my statement to the police again. She wasn’t on Dad’s side, and she wouldn’t be on mine either. It’s not as black and white as you make it sound.
I made an excuse to get off the phone. Then I sank down onto the floor with the phone still clutched in my hand. I knew that everything wasn’t black and white, but some things were, like the fact that my father’s life was stolen from him and no one did a thing about it. I was so sure Mom would be outraged about the bribes. But she knew, and she’d accepted it. She’d wanted my father to accept it too.
He never did, and I couldn’t either.
When Riley finally got home that afternoon, she was in a foul mood over her failed job hunt and too depressed to care about getting all dolled up to go out tonight. She didn’t notice that I was more quiet than usual, which suited me fine since I didn’t feel like talking.
In the car on the way to Chatham, Riley was still bitching about Rick and how much his friends drank at Colby’s party, and I kept absently agreeing with her, trying to get the conversation with my mother out of my head. The corruption in the police department and in the whole town was so pervasive. It was attitudes like my mother’s that allowed it to get that way.
For the first time, I truly realized what I was up against. It made me think of Spencer. Riley’s warning came back to me. I didn’t want to be a setback for him, and I didn’t want to drag him into this, not knowing how bad it might get. That wouldn’t be fair to him. He’d moved on with his life. I needed to let him keep moving forward.
Traffic was terrible again. The ride felt endless. The show was a half hour from starting when Colby opened the back entrance of Sky to let us inside. We were barely inside the door when he handed Riley a wad of bills.
“Rick feels like shit. This should cover it.”
She hesitated and glanced at me, obviously wondering if I’d told Colby. I shrugged apologetically, but she didn’t seem mad. “Is this from him?” she asked.
Colby nodded.
She narrowed her eyes. “Why couldn’t he give it to me himself?”
“Because he likes his balls right where they are.”
I snorted out a laugh.
“I heard Riley threatened to shove them down Rick’s throat,” Colby explained to me, then turned to Riley. “And he got you your job back.”
“What?” Her eyes went wide.
“He told them it was his fault the bar tab got so big, and with your mother being ill and all, the stress got to you. That’s why you walked out in the middle of the lunch rush.”
I stared at Riley and she laughed, then Colby joined her.
“I take it your mother isn’t ill,” I said.
She shook her head. Colby pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.
At least that crisis was solved. Stepping around them, I went in search of Spencer. When I passed Ben, he gave me a quick hug and pointed to an archway that led behind the stage. I walked through it and continued down a short hallway to the only door that stood open. Peeking inside, it took a minute to adjust to the darkness before I saw Spencer sitting on a bench, hunched over his guitar. His hair was falling in his eyes, and he was gently plucking the strings.
“Hey,” I said softly.
Startled, he snapped his head up in my direction.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
A smile lit his face. He pushed back his hair and rested the guitar against the bench. “Why are you standing way over there?”
Grinning, I came into the room, taking in his gray shirt and the way it outlined his muscles. He stood, putting me at eye level with his shoulder. Then he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close. Getting such a warm greeting from him was new and very nice, to say the least.
“Did you talk to your mother?”
I nodded.
Spencer leaned back to see my face. “And?”
“And she already knew.” I shook my head, still having trouble comprehending it. It took me a moment to realize Spencer hadn’t reacted. “You’re not surprised?” I asked.
His lips pressed together, giving me my answer.
I took a step back. “Was I the only one in the dark?”
“You were a kid.”
“So were you,” I shot back, knowing he never really got the chance to be one.
He licked his lips before he asked, “Did you tell her I told you?”
I shook my h
ead.
“Why?”
“Because she might say something to Russ. After what you told me, I don’t think we can trust him. And I’ve been thinking . . . you shouldn’t talk to the police with me. You probably shouldn’t talk to them at all.”
His expression turned wary.
Wanting to avoid an argument, I tried to handle this delicately. “This is about my father. We don’t have to make it about anything else. Your uncle is gone. It’s finally over for you. There’s no need for you to say anything, and I shouldn’t have asked. I really can do this on my own, but knowing I have your support helps. It makes a big difference to me.”
His eyes narrowed. “Would that be enough for you? Don’t you want people to know the whole story?”
I clenched my teeth. The answer was yes. My father would have been uncompromising about the whole truth coming out. But I wasn’t as much like him as I thought. I couldn’t push the issue knowing Spencer might be the one paying the price for it. I’d spent so long misunderstanding him, not knowing about his feelings for me or the real reason why he didn’t want to come forward five years ago. Now that I knew the truth, I wanted to protect him and shield him from it all. “It’s enough,” I said.
He looked skeptical.
Out in the hall, Colby called his name. Spencer’s face smoothed out as he turned me around and placed his arm around my shoulder. “Almost showtime,” he said. “Come on. I saved you the best seat in the house.”
Relieved that he hadn’t argued, I let him walk me to a leather couch on the side of the stage where Riley was already sitting with her legs curled beneath her. His swift kiss took me by surprise. Then he was gone, off to get ready.
Riley grinned. “You guys are cute together.”
“Are things okay with you and Rick now?”
“His balls are safe.” She winked and then shifted as the lights came up and the guys walked onstage.
We had a perfect view. The audience cheered and called their names. Colby, Rick, and Ben smiled, seeming to bathe in the adoration, but Spencer lowered his head and took a step back. Whether he’d done it purposely or not, his lack of a response only spurred on the girls at the front. They called his name even louder until he finally looked up and gave them what they wanted. My heart stuttered at his sly grin, and judging by the noise I heard, so did every other female heart.