by Jamie Ayres
Then, she ducked her head, avoiding eye contact as tears fell, and walked away.
I broke into a cold sweat as Robert followed her across the yard. Leaning to the left, I stole a marshmallow off the paper plate in Nicole’s lap, then shoved the sugary substance in my mouth, fighting the urge to cry.
“You’re supposed to toast that first, silly girl,” Nate said, handing me a skewer. He stood, his back to me for a moment, then handed another metal stick to Sean.
“Here you go, buddy.”
“Wow. What a gentleman this guy is, fixing my marshmallow stick for me and everything”—Sean held it in the air in a toast—“To Olga, for getting our song on the air.” He placed the wooden skewer over the fire.
I studied Nate’s face like it was the most important thing in the world, searching for his motive for doing something so oddly kind. As he plopped down on the glider again, I scooted closer to him and whispered, “What was that about?” I hoped this form of homosocial intimacy toward Sean was as far as their bromance went.
He slid his arm around me. “The least I can do for letting me in the band.”
“Wait, so it’s official?” I asked, because they’d only been practicing together for the past month, or messing around as they put it, making sure he’d be a good fit. I think they just hadn’t been ready to replace Conner yet, and of course, I could relate.
A huge burst of pops sounded like Independence Day came four days too early as Sean’s marshmallow stick exploded. Gooey fluff flew everywhere, like the scene in Ghostbusters when the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man blew to pieces.
“What was that?” Sean said, jumping back a step or two.
Nate’s face prominently featured a mischievous grin.
“Dude, did you just put my marshmallow on the end of a firecracker?”
Nate nodded, laughing.
“That’s freakin’ awesome!”
They high-fived each other, and everyone burst into laughter.
“I knew that wasn’t just some random act of kindness,” I told Nate.
Sean took long, gasping breaths. “How’d you think of that, man?”
“These things just come to me. It’s not so hard to pull pranks when you’re surrounded by gullible people.”
“You kids be careful.” Mom propped her hands on her hips. “Someone could’ve really gotten hurt. What if Sean had gone to check on it and it exploded in his face? You could’ve shot his eye out!”
I rolled my eyes. “Relax, Mom. This is no Christmas Story.” I turned to Nate and took a bite of my s’more. Then, forgetting my manners, spoke with my mouth full. “You should put ‘pulling the perfect prank on your life list’,” I mumbled, the best my lips allowed, before shoving the rest of the s’more into my mouth.
His gaze darted around the fire, then to each of our friends. “But I don’t have a list. You do.”
I sighed. “Precisely, and I think we should change that. You should all write your own.”
“Mission number one accomplished,” Sean said. “Find a new singer.”
“I think I want to join or start a book club,” Tammy said, folding her long legs.
“Like school doesn’t provide you with enough reading homework for a lifetime,” Sean said.
Tammy waved her hand in the hand, as if dismissing his remark. “Please, I hardly ever do my homework. Popularity takes up a lot of time. But maybe I can put it to good use. Get kids to read and bring in some commission for Olga at The Bookman.”
I tried picturing Tammy reading an old classic like Little Women, but I couldn’t. Though the music blasting from the radio didn’t help my concentration any. “I don’t make commission.”
Tammy raised her eyebrows. “Really? Oh well. Truth is I only read magazines. I’m starting to feel a little ignorant since I started hanging out with you.”
Kyle held up his hands. “Wait, time-out. Starting to?”
Tammy gave him a purple-nurple that, no doubt, would’ve made school bullies everywhere proud..
“Mercy! Geez. It was a joke, girl. Way to defend your band mate,” he said to Nate and Sean.
They laughed.
“Sorry, dawg,” Sean said. “You got an idea for your list?”
Kyle turned to Tammy. “Just one. Would you like to go out with me?”
A light flickered across Tammy’s face as a car pulled out of the Anderson’s driveway. The headlights highlighted her blush. “Aww. Sure I would.”
“Okay, get ready to laugh,” Nicole said matter-of-factly. “I’m thinking maybe I can postpone college and live on a cruise ship for like five years. You know, save money for college. I could be their resident photographer and teach scrapbooking classes and stuff, since I absolutely love doing that and am actually good at it. Like Tammy here, I’m no bookworm.”
“Hey!” Tammy swatted at Nicole’s arm.
Nic tipped her head back toward the sky. “No offence. I don’t even have popularity as an excuse. And my parent’s own a bookstore.”
“Don’t sweat it, babe. You always have your looks to fall back on,” Sean said. Then, in a somewhat more serious tone, he turned to Nate. “You’ve been quiet over there.”
“I don’t know. Maybe just returning to the simpler things in life.” His voice was soft, and he stretched his hands behind his head. “Take up skateboarding again. Learn to play the piano. Adopt a dog from a shelter. Become a regular at a restaurant every Saturday morning. Pulling the perfect prank.” He looked right at me as he said all this, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me.
“You said simple stuff sounded lame when I wrote mine.” I thought back to Memorial Day. Even though our beach picnic took place only a month ago, it was already so easy to imagine completing all the things on our lists together. Moving on still scared me, but it suddenly felt like it was happening with Nate.
“Only because that’s not what you needed, so I encouraged other things.”
I shook my finger at him. “Don’t get all Freud on me again.”
“Well, I’m down for Saturday morning breakfast,” Sean said.
“How about Morning Star Café?” Nicole rested her head on my shoulder. “Olga and I can meet ya’ll there before our shift every Saturday.”
Everyone nodded.
Reaching down, I fixed another s’more, then shoved it in my mouth. All this talk about food made me hungry.
“Enjoying yourself?” Tammy asked, grabbing her pack of cigarettes from her purse.
“Hmm, I can never get enough of this chocolaty goodness.”
Sean laughed hard, tossing his dread-locked hair. “Well, you might want to take it easy. A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.”
Nate joined me in my gluttony, smashing an entire s’more into his mouth, making a huge mess on his face while everyone chuckled.
“Sweet tasting all the way through, just like you,” he said, looking straight at me.
I glanced over his head toward Tammy who mouthed the words ‘I told you so,’ referring to our conversation earlier today when she claimed Nate was interested in being more than ‘friends.’
Standing, I collected everyone’s paper plates to distract myself. I needed a moment to absorb all this.
“Okay, I think you’ve fulfilled your corny comments quota for the day. Congratulations.” I winked at him and then headed to the trashcan at the side of the yard.
Ugh, did I just wink at him?
That moment of flirtation caught Mom’s attention. I swear she always watched me with eagle eyes. “You ready to go home?”
I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Um … I dunno. Do you and Dad want to leave?” I was surprised I didn’t want to head home, considering how badly I wanted to avoid coming here tonight. But I followed Mom’s line of sight to Tammy smoking her cigarette, and I knew Mom wasn’t really asking but telling me it was time to leave. She wasn’t a Tammy fan, and she always said hanging out with someone like her made me look ignorant.
Well, ignorance is blis
s, right?
“Never, never, never give up.”
—Winston Churchill
Tonight, I attempted something else for the first time. I threw on a pair of jeans and a Grand Haven High Bucs sweatshirt at 2:00 a.m. to sneak out of my apartment. As I tiptoed out of my bedroom, worry jolted through me like I’d drank a dozen cups of coffee. My parents’ room was further down the hall, and they slept with their door shut. It only took me a few seconds to realize how easily I could sneak out of my house. We didn’t even lock our windows and doors. Ever. Dad said as soon as we needed deadbolts, we’d move. He was very big on safe, small-town living.
Tammy had sent me a text message thirty minutes ago with the plan, telling me to meet at Nate’s house. He lived two miles away, and keeping a steady jog, I arrived in twenty minutes, albeit a little out of breath and sweaty and probably with messy hair, but that last one was nothing new. He waited in his driveway, a bulky backpack slung over his shoulder and his guitar case in his left hand.
Just seeing him gave me goose bumps. I didn’t know what that meant, and I tried not to think about it.
“I grabbed you one of mine in case you need an extra at the lake,” he said a little too boisterously with his deep voice, holding out a blue Michigan hooded sweatshirt.
“Shh!” I warned as we set off down the sidewalk, the leaves of the overhead trees rustling as a breeze blew over us. “Did you leave your parents a note in case they wake up to find you gone?”
“Yeah. Right on my bed. Even signed it Cantankerous Little Monkey. But they’d be fine with it. They’ve woken up to find me gone before.”
“Wow, I wish my parents were so forgiving.”
“Did you leave one, too?”
“Yup, on my desk. But I’m dead if they find out.” I gave him a flat look, letting him know I meant business.
“No worries. We’ll be back before they wake up.” He lifted his hand, then raked his fingers through his shaggy hair.
“I can’t believe I’m fully awake and haven’t even had my cup of coffee. Must be the adrenaline of sneaking out.”
In the dead of the night, his big shoes sounded too loud against the concrete. “Good, because we got places to go and people to see.”
He kicked a rock, sending it skittering across the sidewalk, then into someone’s driveway.
I watched him walk, temporarily distracted by the handsomeness of his tan face … the coffee colored hair sweeping across his forehead, the golden brown eyebrows always drawn together in thought, those laughing ocean blue eyes and long lashes, the square jaw and wide, slightly smiling mouth. I tripped over a rock and lost my footing, falling down entirely.
“Whoa! Are you okay?” Nate reached down and held out his hand. I just sat there, feeling my heart beat rapidly, and then he grabbed my hand when I didn’t respond. He tugged me up and inspected me. “You look like you’ll live. Can you handle walking, or do I need to carry you?”
I smiled at him, in spite of basically making a total fool of myself, and moved my feet forward. “I can walk. So, what exactly is the plan?”
Letting loose of my hand, he said, “All I know is Tammy orchestrated the whole thing. She’s picking up Kyle, Nicole is picking up Sean, and you met me at my house since we’re closest to the beach.”
Footsteps were the only sound for moments. It was weird how quiet the dark could be. I thought about all the people resting inside each house we passed, oblivious to us walking by in the middle of the night. So much happens in the world. I wasn’t used to this type of calm, and I should’ve sensed peace. Instead, the silent night disturbed me. Then, we crested a hill, and the sidewalk turned to sand, and I felt at home again.
“Where do you want to set up camp on the beach tonight?” he asked.
I took a few steps forward, scanning the beach. “I get to pick?”
Nate jabbed my arm. “It’s your list.”
Pressing a hand on my stomach where I felt butterflies, I said, “Oh, right. Number eleven: sneak out. Are you sure we should do this?”
He pointed skywards. “How about hiking to the top of the sand dunes?”
I gawked at the hill, but he shoved my arm lightly.
“Race you to the top!” His hair whipped in the wind as he sprinted a few steps, then looked back at me.
I ran, feeling my feet under me. I was sure Nate purposefully slowed his pace or I never would’ve caught up with him. Up ahead, all I could see was sand and sky until finally, we were at the top.
We almost collapsed with laughter as we reached the peak of the mini mountain. Nate retrieved two blankets from his backpack, then we stretched across the warm polyester, listening to the song of waves rolling in and watching the stars twinkle.
My own mind remained tranquil for once, and I hummed the old Christmas carol, Silent Night, while mapping out the constellations … then sighed. “Shouldn’t we text the others to let them know where we set up?”
“Yeah.”
He pressed his lips together and slowly pulled a cell phone out of his pocket, and I thought maybe he was just as content as I was with only the two of us being here.
He typed a message to Sean and Kyle.
“I know this probably sounds strange since I just snuck out for the first time, but I’ve never felt more at peace than this moment,” I said.
Fireflies flitted past us. I wished I had a jar to capture them, like Conner and I did not too many years ago.
“I know what you mean,” Nate murmured.
The moon rested full and bright, the same way it looked the night lightning struck Conner. And with Nate and me sitting on the blanket alone, it seemed the lunar effect caused strange things to happen again. Not that I was complaining, this time.
We traced our names in the sand, then he snapped a picture of us next to our designs. We lay on our backs, staring at the cumulus clouds in the light of the moon, and looked for pictures in the piles of puffy cotton. He saw a hand pointing at him, an eagle, and a hamburger. I spied a dragon breathing fire, a crab, and a woman’s face.
“Nate and Olga sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Tammy said, hiking up the hill with the rest of the Jedi Order.
I pointed at her. “Don’t even open that Pandora’s box.”
Nate bowed his head.
Did I offend him? That was so not what I was going for.
What would’ve Conner thought about all this? Whenever I pictured him, he was buttoning his Kurt Cobain grunge style flannel, holding up three fingers in the Scout Sign, reminding me to always be prepared. But you can’t prepare for falling in love, which is why I didn’t want to. Give me my place on the school math team over having a boyfriend any day. Algebra, Geometry, Calculus, that’s something I could fall in love with. Something precise, a formula I could figure out that always worked and never disappointed, never hurt.
“What took you guys so long?” I asked, trying to avoid staring at Nate’s frown.
He fidgeted with his phone, flipping it over as though he’d never before looked at it.
“Well, I can’t speak for Nicole and Sean.” Tammy eyeballed them with a quirked brow. “But Kyle and I stopped for supplies at Meijer Grocery. Thank God they’re open twenty-four hours.”
She overturned a plastic bag, dumping a package of peanut butter cookies from the bakery, a Family Size bag of SunChips, and an assortment of king-sized candy bars.
“How do you keep your model figure?” Nicole asked.
“Cheerleading.” Tammy bounced on her toes and winked at me. “Pretty soon, Olga will have a rocking body too.” Turning to Kyle, she asked, “Did you bring the energy drinks?”
“Got ‘em in here.” He retrieved a six-pack from his bag, then gestured for Sean to take one and pass it around.
The sounds of cans popping open echoed around our circle of friends.
“Alrighty then. Who wants to bury my butt in the sand?” Sean rubbed his hands together.
“Just your butt?” Kyle slapped Sean’s behind like a
good-natured football player, and Sean jumped. “Or your whole body?”
Sean massaged his tooshie. “The whole enchilada. I’m making it number two on my life list, baby.” He lay down in the powder soft sand. “But be careful of Jimi Hendrix.”
Nicole patted his afro, which was especially poofy with his braids gone.
“Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your friggin’ prom,” Nate blurted out as we all grabbed a fistful of dirt and dumped it on top of Sean.
Tammy pursed her lips. “Okay, that was random.”
But I wasn’t confused. “Nice, Bender,” I told him before turning to Tammy. “It’s only right he quote The Breakfast Club since we’re starting one of our own. You’re all still coming next Saturday to The Morning Star Café, right?”
Nate nodded and Tammy’s eyes darted between the two of us.
“Oh, so that was like, a movie reference?” she asked.
“Yes, an eighties classic,” I answered in a slow, exaggerated voice as everyone laughed.
“Very funny,” Tammy said as we finished covering Sean’s legs and worked on his arms. “Speaking of prom, remember when Kyle asked you to be his date because I told him to? Let’s see if that can work again. Nate, I think you should ask Olga out on a date. Oh yeah, let’s get this bucket list started tonight!”
She punched Nate in the arm.
I seized her hand in a Vulcan death grip. “Yes, let’s get it started by telling people exactly what I think about them.”
Nicole launched her hand in the air. “I second that one!”
“You know who was good at telling people what they think?” Calm emanated from Kyle’s voice, the way he always spoke. “Conner. That’s why he was such an epic songwriter. And we found one for Olga in his song book this past week. I think he wrote it as a birthday present for you.”
My heart raced, and a warm feeling hit my core. Not just because of Conner, but because Kyle’s a good buddy, changing the subject like that. Really, all my friends were awesome, the way they protected me and stood up for me, even when Tammy stuck her nose where it didn’t belong.
“Really? Why do you think that?” Tears formed in my eyes.