18 Things

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18 Things Page 21

by Jamie Ayres


  My eyes burned, and I tried not to cry. I didn’t want to mess up Nicole’s makeup job. Conner’s parents were next to mine, pointing the way.

  “What is this?” Nate asked, his voice light and totally surprised.

  We navigated through the crowd.

  “Did you do this? Is this for your life list, break a world record? Are we breaking the record for world’s largest Flash-Freeze Mob right now?”

  My fingers hovered over his for a second before fully taking hold of his hand.

  “Yep,” I replied, stone faced, forcing myself not to smile and give something away. “Only one more to cross off.” Okay, I couldn’t help but smile now. “Come on. Let’s go see about the mysterious message.”

  Time in slow motion, tile seemed to stretch on forever as my heels clicked against the surface of the dance floor, leading Nate to our fate. My breathing echoed loud in my ears, overpowering the words of the song singing about the end of a relationship, a turning point, something unpredictable but in the end right, reminding me whatever happened was meant to be.

  We reached the center of the room, and I stepped backwards, letting Nate read the sign I painted for him two days ago. Nicole and Sean stretched the banner in front of them, faces frozen with a smile. The song faded, and amidst the silence of over three thousand people standing still, Nate read my words aloud to himself.

  “Nate, I’m in love with you. You’ve been one of my best friends through the last grueling year of high school. I was kinda hoping you’d be my boyfriend for, I don’t know, forever maybe. Yours Truly, Olga.”

  I forgot to breathe as he repeated the words I’ve wanted to tell him for months, but then he turned slightly and took my other hand in his, and the warmth of his skin calmed me again. On the verge of tears, I tried hard not to shed them out of habit, but at least these were happy tears.

  He reached up and brushed them away with the back of his hand, then leaned in, his breath against my breath. The kiss was tentative at first, then grew bolder, the confidence of our love taking over. I couldn’t believe how good it felt, my heart crashing into my sides, my breathing fast.

  Cheers and applause reminded us we were not alone and we opened our eyes, smiling widely at each other.

  He rested his head on my shoulder, curling his arms around my back, and whispered. “I love you, Olga.”

  They were the words I’d longed to hear, completing my list ahead of schedule.

  “I’ve always been in love with you, from the first time I saw you. I love every little thing about you. That was my number one,” he confessed, not remembering his drunken tell-all, and I knew I’d need to come clean later. “I can’t believe you beat me to the punch! I was gonna see how tonight went and then maybe ask you to be my girl.”

  I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me before if you’ve been in love with me this whole time?”

  He let out a long breath. “Well, for one thing, I didn’t know if you loved me back. You’ve been on the rebound from Conner and vulnerable. I wanted to wait until you were over the guilt of Conner’s death because I thought it’d be incredibly selfish to throw one more ball at you to juggle. Then, there was also the issue of waiting for the perfect time and place. I didn’t want to just blurt it out in conversation. That’s why tonight seemed like maybe it would work, but I was also scared if I told you I love you on our first date that you might run away.”

  I thought of the night of the meteorite shower and shuddered. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now too, but I didn’t want to admit my feelings. I was all too content to hide behind them, or rather from them, but then I realized it was more important to reveal my feelings instead of living a lie.”

  I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith blared over the loudspeakers, and everyone unfrozen and dancing, gave us our time alone. The disco ball rotated steadily, illuminating the room as Nate’s reasons illuminated the situation we’d been in, caught in spin cycle, for the past couple of months. Just like the surface of the crystal ball above us consisted of thousands of facets to produce its complex display, my and Nate’s relationship contained thousands of complex moments leading to this final reflection of the heart.

  I scooted closer, my body pressing against his. “Tell me again.”

  “I love you, Olga,” he said with all the confidence of leading me toward my future.

  On May twenty-seventh, promptly at 7:00 p.m., the commencement ceremonies began at Harborside Convention Center. A flurry of nervous energy in a sea of burgundy colored gowns overtook the foyer. There were plenty of hugs, kisses, and post party talks until Principal Matthews shushed and commanded us to take our spots.

  The school band played Pomp and Circumstance, and I was at the tail end in the processional of students pouring into the main hall. Our class vice president approached the stage to deliver the invocation, and then, a well-groomed German exchange student who served as our treasurer, lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance.

  Afterward, Nate sang the national anthem. Our class secretary gave a greeting, and our class advisor, Mrs. Cleveland, stepped up to the podium for a special presentation.

  “Good evening to all our special guests, most of all our graduates. In a few moments, we’ll hear from your valedictorian, Olga Worontzoff. Even though I’m proud of her accomplishment of earning the highest grades over the past four years, they’re just a cluster of the letter ‘A’ on a piece of paper helping to secure her place at college. Down the road of life, the grades you earn in high school don’t really mean anything. You’ve lived to learn your whole lives, and now, you must learn to live. Along those lines, Olga did something more important this past year than just earn good grades. She helped spark a movement after her best friend, Conner Anderson, died in a terrible accident last April. As a writer for our student publication, Bucs’ Blade, she headed up a monthly bucket list feature this year after creating her own, titled 18 Things. Her list got students thinking about their own life goals and eventually led to a writing contest with a scholarship opportunity, thanks to Conner’s parents, Robert and Loria Anderson.

  “For the past month, many of you sitting here today submitted your number one item on the to-do list for your life. Our staffers at the Bucs’ Blade, who judged the submissions, chuckled as we read many creative ideas. The catch was you already had to complete the item submitted, and have proof, which most did in the form of a photo. Some of the ones we enjoyed the most were hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.”

  A picture flashed up on the super-sized white screen behind her, and I could honestly attest the brochures for this tourist destination did not do it justice.

  “Lose seventy-five pounds,” Mrs. Cleveland said as the slide show continued, showing a girl holding up her old fat jeans, the slogan “no pain, no gain” written in black sharpie across the butt.

  “Drive Route 66 during senior spring break, attend Mardi Gras, go skydiving, go on a meditation retreat, tour Michigan in an RV, ride the human hamster wheel at the circus, skinny dip in Lake Michigan.”

  Mrs. Cleveland paused as the student body laughed at the picture. “Thankfully, this student thought to blur some parts of his photo before submitting. As you can guess, picking the five winners to receive a total of twenty-thousand dollars each, over the course of four years, was not an easy task. The recipients will be acknowledged in our last edition of this year’s newspaper when it comes out in two days.”

  The underclassman still had two weeks left in school.

  Ha, ha, suckers!

  “But tonight I have the honor of announcing our winners to the graduating class. When I call your name, please make your way to the stage. For Most Poignant—witnessing a baby being born from Cindy Boren.”

  I was worried this one might be controversial since the baby was hers, but she was in the top ten percent of our class and definitely needed the financial help to make it to college now. People didn’t let me down though; Robert and Loria handed her a ceremonial super-sized c
heck on stage while the local newspaper reporter snapped some photos, and everyone applauded and cheered.

  “For Most Scary—kayaking next to blue whales off the Gulf of Mexico from Ashley Reynolds. For Most Athletic—running a marathon to raise money for his cousin who has leukemia from Blake Hulliberger. For Most Humorous—living like a primitive native for two weeks from William Saidi.”

  The snapshot for this one showed Will squatting in the entrance to a teepee created from tree branches, a cooking pot on his head, and raccoon furs tied to his feet while he munched on a handful of raspberries, a fire burning brightly in front of him. In a world driven so much by technology, we really did get a kick out of this one.

  “And I saved the best for last. This person didn’t even enter the contest, but all of us unanimously agreed when Olga suggested her.”

  Tammy directed her questioning eyes at me on the stage, but all I gave her was a wave.

  “For Most Ambitious—making your school a better place, Tammy Fitzgerald.”

  Her reaction was in slow motion, seeming unable to process the information. After figuring out how to make her body unfreeze, she walked trance-like up to the podium. She posed for photographs, and I smiled, looking down at my Morticia Addams ring, thankful Conner’s legacy didn’t die with him.

  I still didn’t quite know what to make of everything, but I had to find my voice soon because as class president, Tammy introduced the students giving the salutatory and valedictory addresses next. I never really set out to be valedictorian, and if I were really smart, I would’ve calculated things to stay at a steady third place in the academic race at GHHS.

  Third place didn’t have to make a speech.

  After the salutatorian spoke, Tammy delivered an anecdote about me as I tried not to hyperventilate, giving me a few moments to compose myself.

  “Our next speaker, Olga Gay Worontzoff, really needs no introduction.”

  Of course, she had to use my full name!

  “Cheerleader, writer, sailor, wedding crasher, world record breaker, and Nate Barca’s girlfriend. All in that order.” The crowd laughed. “Some people from high school come into our lives and go quickly. Others stay awhile and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same. Olga is the latter. Please, help me in welcoming the most intelligent, fearless, ambitious, and sneaky person I know.”

  The crowd applauded, and I looked out at my friends shouting, my family nodding, and a thousand faces smiling.

  I approached the microphone, my hands shaking uncontrollably, and tried to summon Conner’s spirit to help me. “I’d like to thank everyone for being here tonight—my mom and dad for supporting me in my endeavors, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson for standing by me and creating the Journey Scholarship, my friends whom Conner endearingly called the Jedi Order, my boyfriend, my teachers, the Cantankerous Monkey Squad.” I paused until the cheers died down. “And before I begin, I’d also like to thank Conner Anderson and Mr. George Lucas for inspiration and pray there are no sticklers for copyright laws present tonight.”

  While the crowd laughed at my joke, I peered at my notes on the podium.

  “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the leaders of Grand Haven brought forth this great school, and 140 years later, conceived by our parents, our graduating class was brought forth into a world where all men and women are created equal. Well, were equal until the introduction of the Jedi showed us some are more equal than others.

  “The force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things, surrounding and penetrating us, binding the galaxy together. I dedicate this night to those Jedi’s here with me, who have endured thirteen grueling years of school. In fact, can there truly be any experience binding us together more closely than high school? It is all together fitting and proper we should do this together tonight, but in a larger sense, we cannot truly express the suffering and pain through which each of us has gone. The brave Jedi graduating before us who struggled through it understand words can do little to add or detract from it. From the first formative years of finger painting and nap times, from progressing to learning about the three R’s, and then lo and behold, being introduced to such foreign concepts such as biology, physics, calculus, and sex education.”

  My heart fluttered, making me dizzy. I knew my parents weren’t joining in the laughter over the last joke, but this wasn’t about them.

  “The galaxy will little note what we say here tonight. It would be wise for us to remember the famous quote from Star Wars, ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi? Obi-Wan … now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time … a long time.’ We can make it possible to never let them forget us. It’s up to us, the graduating class, to be dedicated to the challenges that lie before us in the real world. Our lives stretch out from this point. Do not graduate in vain. Yes, this is the end, the last part of something real and significant in our lives. But it’s also just the beginning. We have a new birth of freedom from parents, from high school, and from any Darth Vader-like force that has tried to strike us down these past four years. For me, during this past year at least, it has been dealing with grief and depression after Conner was taken from us. But just as Obi-Wan said to Darth, I say to any dark force, if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could ever possibly imagine.”

  I rapidly blinked back a rush of tears as everyone stood and cheered.

  “I now look back on the day of the lightning strike not as the day I almost died, but the day I finally started to live the life I was created for. I read a quote the other day by Teddy Roosevelt, a man I’m certain could’ve served on the Jedi High Council. He said, ‘Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.’ So let’s meet the future with Yoda-like wisdom, knowing we can succeed, so this great class shall not perish from the galaxy unknown. We’re entering life. Sometimes it will be painful. We all have our, ‘Luke, I am your Father,’ moments, some more than others.”

  I looked up from my notes and raised my hand.

  “Maybe to the point that some people have nicknamed you the Death Star, but don’t take the path of least resistance to the Dark Side. Sure, they may have cookies, but one thing death and life have taught me is life is short and it’s worth the pain. Make your life count. I’m not afraid to use Jedi mind tricks either to make you listen.”

  I waved my hand in the air, eliciting more giggles.

  “Leave your mark on this world while you can. And remember our destinies aren’t thwarted by failure. George Lucas said, ‘Even when Anakin became Darth Vader, he was still the chosen one.’ Many times we can turn around our failures for victories. In fact, it’s impossible to be victorious without failing first. I wish you all the best of luck, and may the force be with you.”

  Nate pulled a lightsaber from underneath his graduation gown, wielding it in the air while standing on his chair. Before the ceremony, I handed one to him, Nicole, Tammy, Sean, and Kyle and told them they’d know when to use them. The rest of the Jedi Order mimicked his movements, and the crowd erupted with thunderous applause and wild cheering, a total standing ovation.

  The minutes ticked by like hours during the presentation of diplomas, the tassel ceremony, and benediction. When it was time for the recessional march, I moved quicker than anyone out into the foyer to find Nate, a mob already surrounding him, giving their congratulations for the best moment in GHHS graduation ever.

  Throwing my arms around his neck, I pulled him close and planted a full kiss on his lips. Renewed applause was awarded. I wasn’t sure if they cheered for his performance or mine, but I think it was because of both.

  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

  nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.

  For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

  so are my ways highe
r than your ways …”

  —Isaiah 55: 8-9

  “How’s your ice cream?” Nate asked.

  “Perfect.”

  He laughed as I licked the chocolate-coated sprinkles dripping along the side of my cone. “You look a mess.”

  I grabbed a napkin to wipe my mouth, but before I could, he said, “Let me take care of that.”

  He drew my lips to his and slid his arms around my waist, holding me close.

  I pulled away after a minute, but only slightly. “Another thing I love about you. You’re always full of surprises.”

  “Life is full of surprises,” he said, releasing me and gazing out toward the Grand River channel leading out to Lake Michigan, the lighthouse and pier looming in the distance.

  All around us, couples and families relaxed on their blankets stretching out across the grassy knolls along the boardwalk, enjoying a perfect day. It was Memorial Day weekend. I would’ve never guessed a year ago I could feel this happy. Back then it felt like there’d never be anything important in my life again, only the accident and dealing with the accident. But this was the weekend last year when everything changed for me, when I was introduced to Nate at the counselor’s office. It seemed like just yesterday we met but also a million years ago.

  We were about to head to the hospital for our last therapy session. Dr. Judy asked us to come in together today.

  Nate ran a lanky hand through his hair longer than ever.

  “I have one more surprise for you before we head to the hospital.” He reached for his case.

  “I was wondering why you brought Breedlove with you.” I nodded toward his guitar and then he strummed some chords.

  “I wrote a song called Summertime for you. Wanna hear it?”

 

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