It was then that I learned something else about the art of ménage à trois: You have to trust the people you’re with entirely and set the scene to be safe. And it’s smart if the three of you are the only people in the house/apartment/hotel room, too.
I leapt to my feet and hustled them out with a forceful energy that was so sudden, so strong, that the two of them actually complied. The protégé was clearly relieved and grateful, but Jewish Rob Lowe’s ego was bruised—and so might have been his blue balls—but again I was a good hostess and said that the bars wouldn’t close for another three hours, giving him more than ample time to find another young pretty girl to satisfy his needs. He left me his business card, which I promptly threw out in the wastebasket of my bathroom while taking off my makeup.
I see the ménage à trois as the banana split of sex: It’s a little bit of everything good and yummy in one lovely serving dish.
It’s Not Too Late
So okay, I’m a late bloomer, I admit it. Hell, I didn’t even have sex until I was 18. But now I’m in my mid-thirties and have a lot of good, and not so good, screwing experience behind me. I’m comfortable with who I am, and I’m ready to play nice and naughty with more than one person in the sandbox.
I am in a good relationship with a good man, and we are secure both in each other and in ourselves. When you know you’re each other’s ultimate fantasy, you can happily explore the dimensions of orgasmic pleasure with no negative side effects … or can you? Where do we start this and what will happen when we do?
I’ve learned a lot from my past mistakes and misadventures. No one has to have a threesome, but no one has to eat a banana split, either. I see the ménage à trois as the banana split of sex: It’s a little bit of everything good and yummy in one lovely serving dish.
I’ve also learned a lot from the numerous interviews I’ve conducted for this book. Despite some differences, there were a lot of similarities among those I talked to—the biggest being that everyone enjoyed doing it, and I’m happy to report that not one person told me his or her relationship broke up as a result of having a three-way. All in all, they said it was a fabulous experience, and most of the people who have done it once usually have done it again—maybe not every week, but definitely multiple times, and they say they will probably do it again in the future. That gave me a lot of confidence that, if done right—responsibly and maturely—it would be a tremendously positive experience.
The funniest part of interviewing people on the topic of threesomes was that women kept saying things along the lines of, “Hey, I’m giving my boyfriend a big gift by allowing him to have a three-way with me. He’s lucky and has no reason to complain about it,” while every man told me, “Hey, no matter what happened, I was lucky enough to have this experience, so there was no reason to complain about anything.”
Women, as they usually do, enjoyed telling me their stories, but the men were particularly enthusiastic, sparing not one detail, and even remembered names and what each woman was wearing. It is definitely a huge badge of honor for men, while women are more interested in the actual sexual exploration.
Either way, putting this book together was a wonderful sexual journey, one that I think everyone can learn from, whether you plan on actually acting on this impulse or not. But how can you resist the temptation of a rich, delicious, creamy banana split? No one I know or want to know can, that’s for sure.
2
How Threesomes HAPPEN
Threesomes really happen—oh boy, do they ever happen. It’s not just the stuff of trashy books, porn magazines, and late-night cable television.
Here’s the deal.
A lot of couples don’t talk about it because the boyfriend knows if he blabs about it to his friends his girlfriend will be furious with him, thus killing the chances of it ever happening again. And no man will ever spoil that party. A threesome is a precious gift after all—a gift he would love to be presented with over and over again.
And more women have done it than most would care to admit, including your own girlfriend whom you think you know more than anyone. Why, college experimentation and single-girl vacations to Cancun alone should be able to fill up a naughty little book about three-ways.
A lot of women won’t admit to having taken part in a threesome, especially to their boyfriends, because time has taught the fairer sex one harsh lesson early in life: You cannot one-up your man on sexual experience whether it be number of partners or actual exotic and daring acts. Men being men want to think they’ve had more sexual partners and/or sexual experiences with women and by in large feel threatened, inadequate, and insecure knowing their woman had a threesome and they did not.
Other women are just plain shy and too embarrassed to admit that they once got tipsy with their friends and decided to share the hot guy sitting between them, resulting in a lesbian experience that forever separated the two girlfriends.
Most single men can’t wait to tell their friends about their three-way experience, that they were able to snag not just two good-looking girls, but actually satisfy them both, too, or at least watch them get it on with each other. It’s one of those sexual conquests all men dream of achieving, absolutely.
But how many men will actually admit to having had a three-way with another man and one woman? That’s a tough one to answer. There is a clear double standard of homoeroticism between men and women. But it’s a safe bet to say there are a lot of men who have done this but decide not to tell anyone at the risk of being labeled gay.
But the truth is, there is a fair share of men who love watching their woman get it on with another man because it’s like bringing a porn movie, starring their girlfriend, to life in their own living room. Now that’s hot. Not only is she gorgeous, but she is sexy enough to take on two throbbing, hard cocks. That is definitely a huge turn-on to a lot of guys, whether they admit it to their buddies or not.
But how much do men really reveal to each other about their intimate and erotic longings anyway? Not so much, because talking about it in detail can be considered rather weird.
But by now you’re burning to actually know: how does a threesome happen and how can I make one happen for me?
Tip
Be Ready, Willing, and Able
Convincing a man to have a three-way is no harder than enticing a mouse with cheese. The mouse may be cautious about entering the trap, but there is absolutely no question about whether he wants to eat that cheese. Of course a guy’s not going to say no to a three-way. It may depend on the gender of the third person or the situation, but it’s never a question of desire. He’ll always be ready and agreeable about the idea.
How a Music Video Inspired Hot Three-Way Action
“Once I was in this music video where I had to pretend to have a threesome with a girl and a guy, two other models. We were just under sheets pretending, but something clicked—our imaginations I suppose,” Angela, a 24-year-old model, fondly recalls. “We were getting hot, and we were like, ‘Oh, god we’re working, we have to calm down!’ “ Angela had never met either the man or the woman until that day on set. But spontaneity won out, and the three models continued the action after the work day was done. “That was funny because it was so random,” she says.
When you feel this wave of erotically charged vibes in the air and you think this could be fun, by all means catch it and keep it going.
The Happy Couple
A good-looking, free-spirited, laughing couple can be a very arousing sight to both men and women, whether at a party or a bar. A couple that are confident and secure enough to mingle together and not just bunch up in a corner can find themselves in many interesting positions.
Being social and interested in everything around you can attract some sexy people who may stop and chat with you, admire your good taste in dates, then your date’s clothes, then your date’s body, and then eventually just you and your date.
When you feel this wave of erotically charged vibes in the air and you think this co
uld be fun, by all means catch it and keep it going by getting a round of drinks, making space on the couch, or suggesting a smoke break outside to tighten the bond. Things may go so well that you leave that party or bar to hit another place. Eventually, you may suggest a nightcap at your home. And then voilà, it happens.
LAP DANCES
Some modern and in-tune couples like to go to strip clubs together. It’s more exciting than going with the boys, and when you’re all charged up you can release that excitement immediately with the one you truly love.
Some dancers really dig it when couples come in and get lap dances together. It makes it all the more pleasant for them, and more than half of all dancers are actively bisexual. During breaks, they are known to hang with customers they like (don’t forget to buy them a drink), and if they’re getting off work soon, it isn’t always out of the question for a sexy stripper to want to play with a fun, attractive couple she is partying with.
When couples are seen at gentlemen’s clubs groping and kissing on their way to the bathroom or on their way out the door, there may very well be a horny lap dancer eyeing them both and asking the question, “Wanna have a three-way?” Who are you to resist it? Not many would.
GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT
It’s not easy to get many straight men to go clubbing, but that’s what girls night out is for, and too bad for those uptight guys because lots of ménage à trois start on the dance floor. Without even planning on it, your gal pal can start dancing with one tall, young stud, and of course she would never leave her friend out in the cold.
Grinding and bumping, you make a man sandwich, while the lucky guy takes turns facing one and clutching your waist, then turning around and pressing against your friend’s bountiful booty. If the two of you are open, you can get something cooking up fast. He starts to kiss your friend’s neck from behind while you press your breasts against his strong back and let your hands drop around his package. Things can get so heated at dance clubs that many a trio hasn’t even bothered to go home but just moved to a dark corner or a stall in the unisex bathroom. (And plenty of the trendier places have those solely for the purpose of messing around.)
Two girls out for a good time often like to choose a man to tease, and many of those men happen to be pretty damn cute, which is why the girls do it to begin with. They usually choose the shy, unsuspecting type who doesn’t realize how good looking he is, or the obviously sexual guy who certainly does, and they challenge him to see whether he’s really what he says he or just putting on a big front.
Guys, always, always let girls tease and pick on you—we’re not much different than when we were in the fifth grade, so it does mean we like you, a lot, even when we’re making fun of your clothes or something stupid you accidentally said or did. The girls who pick on you together can very well lay you together, too, and you can either go the “Aww shucks, I’m a lucky guy” route or take the “Damn straight, women, you’re gonna get the ride of your life” tactic.
Either way, this is how many three-ways happen—without the girls planning to go out and do it; but then again, this is also EXACTLY how many three-ways happen when they are planned! Two adventurous, curious, and sexy women out on the town together can be the recipe for all kinds of hot steamy mischief.
The Third Wheel
Many single people out there whine whenever they are in the position of hanging out with couples, saying they feel like a third wheel and complaining about how awkward it is. These are bitter, silly people.
Do only children hate being the sole object of their parents’ doting and loving attention? Of course not! In a way, being the third party in the three-way is much the same feeling: you have two people who focus all their attention on you and want to make sure you’re happy and taken care of. Is that so awful? I think not.
Even the happiest couples need to mix it up, and they’re very happy when there’s another person around just to talk and laugh with, much less get it on with. It’s great being the third person in the ménage à trois because you’re the celebrity guest star of their show. They’re happy to have you mixing and stirring them up, and then when it’s over, you can just walk away from the situation with the least amount of baggage and/or issue. So what’s so bad about being the third wheel? Nothing!
FOR WOMEN
Any single woman who falls into or sets up a three-way must first and foremost find both parties attractive; otherwise, it will be a disaster of jealousy.
A women can tell whether another woman is there to get her man; she won’t necessarily expect you to go down on her, but if you don’t kiss, touch, or compliment her, then at the very least you’re looking at lots of drama, trouble, and even tears. You may not even be into women, but if you’re looking for fun and free-wheeling experiences, you should talk and laugh and find that connection, as those things are especially important to women. Then you’ll find it easy to dive in, and the girlfriend will find it easy to take you in, and hopefully will dive right back into you, too.
The couple has to feel like you’re their special, tasty treat, that you’re sweet and special enough for them to have this experience with. The more open and relaxed you are, the more you will be sandwiched in the passion zone. A lot of men are doing this for their women, just as much as women might be doing it for their men, so you have to distribute the attention evenly and smoothly.
When you’re alone at a party or at a bar, the happy couple I mentioned above can be the easiest to break the ice with. They have nothing to prove and no agenda other than having a good time. When couples are feeling frisky, it’s quite amazing how they will open up to someone else. You can begin with asking the woman of the couple where she got her dress or what she is drinking because either one looks good to you, and then take it from there.
FOR MEN
Most spontaneous three-ways that involve two men are between friends or acquaintances. Secure men are very turned on when other men find their girlfriend sexy and beautiful, but they usually prefer that kind of attention from someone they know and trust, rather than the guy who sits in their empty stool the minute they get up to take a leak. These types of encounters happen when the three are hanging out at home, listening to music, or watching videos (both the mainstream and the smut variety).
The two-men-one-woman sex combo is for men who are extremely turned on by men finding their women attractive and for men who are extremely comfortable in their sexuality and, yes, their penis size. A man who thinks his cock is too small is not someone who will suddenly let his girl get it on with another guy, especially when he knows his buddy has a big one.
When you’re feeling good about the people you’re with, good things happen. So you’re hanging out drinking wine, smoking grass, listening to some good music, laughing, and joking. It’s all very tranquil and happy. Your friend’s girlfriend may compliment you out of nowhere and make you blush. Or she tells you that the girl who dumped you was a total idiot, and your buddy agrees.
Maybe it’s not with words at all, maybe she starts dancing for you both, and you guys encourage her to keep dancing, maybe shedding some clothes little by little and piece by piece. Your friend gives you a sideway glance that says it’s okay, and then you see him watch his sexed-up lady lean in to kiss you. You can let it linger and then stand up behind her and massage her shoulders and play with her hair. She’s not pulling away, she’s moaning and rubbing her ass against your crotch. She might even do a backwards reach-around and pull you closer, so you cup her breasts from behind and kiss her neck. You both fall back on the couch, and you wait for your friend to lead and his girlfriend to agree, and that’s the easiest, safest way for things to happen, by just letting them. Take your cue from the couple and it should all be just fine.
The same goes for the lucky man who gets to roll around with two women, when chosen, and believe it, mister, you are being chosen, whether they planned it or it was a sudden burst of sexual inspiration. Don’t blow it by making too many demands. If they don’t
want to go down on each other, don’t dwell on that. If they do hardly anything or nothing with each other, yes it’s a little sad, but still you’ve got two women in front of you who want to share you, to use you as their dick-slave, so be happy with just that because that’s a whole lot for anyone to encounter. Two women can be very bored and not necessarily looking for a three-way but looking for some kind of fun and/or entertainment nonetheless, and it’s many times the charming, witty man who gets this going rather than the handsome, arrogant prick. This is the guy who doesn’t care if one woman is a lot better looking than the other. He’s not looking for ways to ditch one so he can make time, he doesn’t want to cause any kind of a rift. He’s the cool guy who just puts himself out there and sees what direction the night will take. He’s the guy who can make it happen and he’s also the guy whose stupid friends don’t understand why he can make this happen.
So this guy steps up to the two ladies and makes a remark about the bad music, how difficult it is to get the bartender’s attention, or what’s playing on TV. He engages them both at once, keeps eye contact with both girls, and is man enough and smart enough to keep them both entertained at the same time. He’s the guy who is generous enough to get the next round and the round after that. He may know of an even cooler place to hang out or has a clean apartment that may offer some special refreshments.
This is the guy who can even get away with making the joke about having his way with the both of them and they laugh and he laughs, but when he excuses himself to use the bathroom or check his phone messages, they both say how great he is, and to hell with it, why not hang at his place for awhile. It’s nearby, isn’t it? He has planted the seed without being obvious, and it’s working. This guy is special, and he deserves to have two girls take turns screwing and sucking him. Because he is a gentleman.
Threesomes: For Couples Who Want to Know More Page 2