“What?” she demanded.
“You’re gorgeous. Did you know that?”
Suddenly her heart was back in her throat again. “Luke, you don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?”
“All the usual date stuff. Compliments. Charm. You won your date with me and I’m living up to my side of the bargain but there’s no need to pretend this is anything other than what it is. I’m not here voluntarily.”
“I know.”
“Flattery just gets my back up.”
“No, it doesn’t. You like it.”
“It makes my skin crawl.”
“No, it makes you wonder what I want.”
“Yes.”
“Afraid I might try to kiss you?”
“No!” But her heart leapt anyway. That leap of expectation annoyed her. She was too intelligent to be swayed by such banter.
“No?” he responded. She could hear laughter in his voice. “Does that mean I can kiss you without fear, or that I’m not permitted?”
“No. Neither. I mean, both. I mean…don’t do it.”
She heard his almost soundless laugh. “It’s so ridiculously easy to get you rattled,” he said. “And you’re a manager of a people-oriented department. You’re a walking contradiction.”
“You, on the other hand, are completely predictable.”
“Ouch.”
The silence grew again and Lindsay was uncomfortably certain that he was still watching her. Her already shredded nerves couldn’t stand it.
“Why ‘Lucifer’?” she asked finally.
“Why not?”
“Named for the devil? Most people find that an unholy name. An unpleasant one.”
“That’s the whole point. Well, that’s the point my father was trying to make anyway. I was a curse on his life. Unlooked for, unwanted. As unwelcome as the Grim Reaper himself.”
“Your father named you Lucifer?” Lindsay frowned. “That’s…atrocious.”
“Most people who know me well tell me it’s fitting. I drive people to hell, after all.”
“No, don’t joke about it. Why did he call you Lucifer?”
There was a long silence and Lindsay spared a second to look at him. He was frowning, looking down at his gloved hands in his laps. They were curled into loose fists.
“Why?” she repeated.
“My mother wanted to call me Luke. She was tied up in hospital with complications, so my father, in a lucid, sober moment, filed the registration. He called me Luke, all right.” The bitterness in his voice was deep and painful to listen to. “My mother understood. Completely. They were divorced within a year.”
Lindsay stared through the windscreen, appalled. “I don’t know what to say,” she said at last. “I’m sure there’s something perfect one is supposed to say in response but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what to say that would help ease the sting of it.”
There was another soundless, loaded pause. “You just did. What you said was perfect,” he answered softly. “Thank you.”
For the first time ever, Lindsay was able to believe him unconditionally.
He moved in his seat and rubbed at his hair. “Agh…it was all such a long time ago, anyway,” he declared. “Now I live up to the name, so what the hell, huh?”
He had deliberately broken the mood. Lindsay didn’t know why but she understood that with astonishing clarity. It was another first. The first time she had ever been able to read a person’s actions in that way. The novelty of it riveted her thoughts.
The rest of the drive downtown was almost completely silent. Lindsay pulled in under the hotel portico and let the valet take the car and park it.
Luke held out his arm and Lindsay mentally sighed and tucked her hand under it. If he insisted on maintaining the charade for the night, she was obliged to follow suit.
Upstairs in the Helena Suite, most of the management staff had already arrived, as far as she could tell. And quite a few of the special guests too. There were a couple of waiters collecting coats and one came over to take theirs.
Lindsay found herself suddenly reluctant to remove her coat. If simply her hair and makeup had been cause for comment, what would Luke say when he saw her dress?
But there was no way to avoid it. Reluctantly, she removed her coat, scarf and gloves and handed them to the waiter and tried to give him a gracious smile. Remember Mom, she told herself.
She went to turn to face Luke, bracing herself.
“No! Don’t turn yet,” Luke said, right by her shoulder.
She froze. “Why? What’s wrong. Is there a stain?”
“No, I just want to take it in by degrees. A little at a time. The back view is worth a few moments.”
Lindsay kept still as commanded, while her whole body began to vibrate with a singing tension. “Luke…”
“Okay. I can stand the rest now. I think.”
She turned, swallowing dryly. Luke was wearing a very modern dress suit, the jacket one of the longer, fashionable ones that hinted of days gone by. And he was staring at her, the black eyes absorbing every inch of her.
“Please…” she whispered, trying to articulate how truly uncomfortable his scrutiny made her feel.
“You’re stunning,” he said, simply.
The electric blue silky dress was stitched with hundreds of stones and sequins that swirled and swept the length of the dress in waves and ended in a hint of a train that brushed the ground behind her. The tiny straps over her shoulder supported a plunging neckline and the waist and hips of the dress hugged her figure.
She had seen dresses like this on countless Academy and Emmy award shows and had deliberately gone shopping for something just as glamorous…as distracting…as those she had seen on TV. By Luke’s expression she judged she had achieved the results she’d been aiming for but it didn’t make her feel any more secure. For while she had been preparing to dazzle everyone the way her mother would have, she had forgotten that it would draw attention to her and that she would have to deal with that attention.
Luke lifted his hands in a small, helpless gesture. “I’m speechless.”
“That makes a nice change. Shall we just get on with this? I’m already a nervous wreck.”
“About what? You’ve already made a good impression.”
“This is a working affair, remember? We’re here to dazzle the clients and keep them happy for another year. God forbid we lose any more major accounts.”
“Right. Business. You’ll have to keep whispering that in my ear every five minutes, Lynds. Every time I look at you, thoughts of business evaporate.”
“Don’t,” she snapped.
“Sorry. Forgot again. See?” He grinned and picked up her hand. His hand was warm, big and comforting, which surprised her.
He tugged her toward the biggest concentration of people. They stood drinking champagne and chatting, oblivious to their approach and Lindsay could feel her heart thudding heavily and a high singing in her mind. She opened her mouth to get more air in her lungs.
Luke was pulling her closer.
They were starting to look at her now. Appreciative glances. Expectant ones.
Luke was talking to one of them, shaking hands. His other hand let hers go. Adrift, she looked at the man in front of her. He had said something to her but she didn’t hear it. The singing was in her ears and the pounding of her heart was thudding at the back of her brain. She could feel herself gasping.
The man was looking at her, puzzled. Staring at her expectantly. She was supposed to speak now. She understood that but it was too much. She couldn’t do it. Despite three days of talking herself into it, she couldn’t do it.
She turned and fled.
Chapter Five
When he couldn’t find her in all the logical and obvious places, Luke slowed down and put himself in Lindsay’s shoes. Where would she have headed?
Her office, of course. Her home away from home.
He made his way to the top floor, glad to
put the noise behind him for a little while and slipped into the marketing department.
It was dark and still in there and for a moment he wondered if he had guessed right. He pushed open the door to her office, his heart sinking when he saw there were no lights on.
She was sitting on the edge of the coffee table, perched like an awkward schoolgirl, with her knees together and her feet splayed anyhow. She was sitting upright, her hands braced on either side of her and her head bowed. The golden curls glowed on the top of her head.
Panic attack. She looked like she was ready to bolt at the smallest disturbance.
“You just don’t get the same quality in crowds these days, do you?” he said softly so she wouldn’t startle. “All that staring and pawing. They’re much more civilized in New York, of course.”
It was a full moon. The ghostly light was filtering through the tinted window, catching every movement of the stones and sequins on her dress. He saw her take a deep, wobbly breath.
“I can’t do it,” she said and despite the grown-up gown she sounded just like the schoolgirl he had first thought of.
He settled himself next to her on the coffee table and made his body relax into a nonthreatening posture. “How long have you had agoraphobia?” he asked.
“I don’t.”
“That was a pretty convincing performance you gave out there.”
She stiffened. Luke reached for her hand and grasped it in both his and willed her to relax. It didn’t surprise him to find her hand was trembling.
“You make me sound like I’m clinically…disturbed or something. That’s not it at all.”
He stayed silent.
“It’s my mother,” Lindsay added very quietly.
“I know she was very successful in the hospitality industry.” He tried to remember what else he had learned. Very little, surprisingly. But the little he had heard had been tinged with awe. Catherine Eden had been a legendary figure, even before she died.
“I’m surprised you don’t know all about her,” Lindsay told him. “You seem to be so good at soaking up gossip. Did you know she worked at this hotel?”
He hid his surprise. For some reason he couldn’t quite fathom, the fact seemed to be terribly significant to Lindsay. It was as if she had revealed a deep secret. “No, I didn’t know.”
“She was so good at this stuff—at mixing and mingling and charming birds out of the tree to eat from her hand.” Lindsay sighed. “I’m not good at it at all. Actually, I suck at it.”
“It comes easier for some people but nobody is a complete natural at it, Lynds. You just have to practice more. Although I have to wonder how you’ve managed to come so far so fast if you genuinely are such a terrible schmoozer. You’re in marketing—it comes with the territory.”
“I…just got by, somehow. Mostly, I tried to make up for it with other skills.”
He nodded a little in the dark. Yes, he’d seen the force of will and determination she applied to everything else she did. Was that what drove her? A simple feeling of inadequacy? He knew it went deeper though—there were more secrets beneath this one. They enticed him to delve deeper but he resisted the impulse. He was content, tonight, with the little she had given him. It was an Olympic victory, really. This was the first time she had ever volunteered so much as a glimpse inside.
“You have to go out there again. You know that, don’t you?” he told her.
“I know.” Again, the small sigh. “I’ll be okay. I just had to…get my breath.”
He patted her hand. Despite her words, her trembling had not subsided. If anything it was worse. Transmitted through her hand, he could feel her whole body was shaking.
“Look at it this way,” he said. “What’s the worst thing that could happen to you out there?”
“I could embarrass you,” she said instantly.
“Never,” he shot back. “I do that to myself well enough. I don’t need help.”
“No, really,” she insisted. “I’m…a social klutz.”
Well, that’s the understatement of the year, Luke thought wryly.
He had been warned, when he’d taken the job, that Lindsay Eden was not exactly a people person. They’d been right on that score, although he suspected her lack of people skills had kept people at such an arm’s length they’d never thought to ask themselves why she was so bad at dealing with her fellow man.
He strove for a casual note. “So you make the odd faux pas. It’s not the end of the world, is it?”
“It could be.” She pulled her hand from his and covered her face, turning away. “What if you had to…apologize for me?”
It was said quietly and with deep dread in her voice. Luke knew the last thing he could afford to do was trivialize it.
He kept his voice as even and sincere as he could. “If you do make a klutz of yourself out there, I sincerely doubt anyone will notice. You’re rather dazzling, you know. People will forgive beautiful people for a lot of mistakes.”
“But you will see them. You’ll be embarrassed.”
“I doubt it. I’ve got armorhide protection. Your skin tends to grow a little thicker each time yet another relative tells you they don’t want you anymore and it’s time to move on.” He gave her hand a little shake for emphasis. “A couple of social screw-ups by you won’t even scratch the surface.”
She turned to look at him then and even in the poor light of the moon he could see the puzzled look on her face and a hint of empathy and warmth. It was the same look that had burrowed into his guts in the car, when he had unintentionally told her the real story of his name.
He used the same defense now and deflected the mood. He swiveled to face her more. “Listen…you go out there and make as much of an idiot of yourself as you want. I promise I won’t feel even the slightest need to apologize for you. And I won’t be embarrassed.”
Her chest lifted. A deep breath. “You’re sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well…don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“I hear you.”
He stood and tugged on her hand. “C’mon. Up you get.”
She rose reluctantly. She was still trembling violently.
“You’ll be fine,” he assured her.
“I don’t believe you.” It was a whisper.
He lifted her chin. In the ghostly moonlight her eyes were eerie pools of shimmering light. The temptation was there. Kiss her. It was a shouted impulse but he clamped down on his mind and his body, subduing it. It would be far too easy to kiss her right now. She was too vulnerable, too open. And he knew he’d feel like a complete heel afterward if he did.
But man, oh man, was it hard to battle the temptation!
Finally, before he did something idiotic, he stepped back from her took her hand and led her out of the office, heading for the elevators.
And she was worried about embarrassing him?
Lindsay still felt like she had two giant pins stuck through her middle, so tied up in knots was she but there was a vast reassurance in having her hand in Luke’s. He didn’t let go even in the elevator when other hotel guests stepped in to go to the lobby and frankly stared at them in their formal clothes.
In fact, if her senses hadn’t been racked up to their most sensitive and her nerves prickly and at full alert, she may have missed the tiny movement he made toward her in reaction. But that small movement flooded her with reassurance. She didn’t have to do this alone.
They walked back into the function room and she felt his hand on the small of her back—a light touch—and she realized that her steps were faltering. She picked up her speed, heading for the thick group of people congregating on the dance floor on the other side of the tables. It was as if no time had passed since she had left.
But she felt much better now.
Sort of.
Fear was still clamping her stomach but at least this time her heart had subsided enough that she could actually hear what people were saying.
Vince Gormley sa
w them and lifted his hand to catch their attention. He excused himself from the small group he was with and moved in their direction. He nodded as he reached them and looked at Lindsay.
“Are you all right? I saw you rush off.”
Luke’s hand was on her back, warm and firm. “Actually, that was my fault,” he said. He touched his temple. “Migraine. Lindsay did a dash of mercy for some Tylenol. Sorry.”
Gormley looked relieved. “Oh, well, that’s good. I mean, it’s not, of course but I’m glad it’s not anything worse. Migraine, huh? You’re pushing yourself too hard, Pierse. I heard about your big coup, by the way.”
“Thanks. Although I couldn’t have done it without Lindsay.” She felt his hand give her a tiny nudge and she smiled mechanically as Vince glanced at her.
“Really?” he said. “You two appear to be building a bit of a team here. That’s good. That’s very good. It all helps the hotel, of course.”
“Of course,” she echoed.
If Vince had heard about Luke’s landing of the medical association account from someone else, then what had Luke been doing up in Vince’s office the morning after her disaster?
“Anyway,” Vince said, lifting his glass of champagne. “Don’t forget to mingle, you two.”
“Of course,” Luke assured him. “It’s the only reason for being here.”
Her heart gave a little leap. Mingle. Yuck.
But Luke’s hand was pushing her forward. He grabbed two glasses of wine from a waiter who appeared magically in front of them and handed one to her.
“Let’s go,” he murmured and led her further into the middle of the room.
She was deeply uneasy now. Most people were already talking in intimate little groups, their heads together. And even if Luke found someone just standing there looking lost, what was he going to do? Just walk up and introduce himself? Her heart fluttered at the thought of doing that herself.
But instead he aimed for a small group of guests standing together. There were no hotel staff with them. She watched him carefully. He was looking straight at them and inevitably one of them saw his approach. As soon as they saw him, he smiled warmly and moved to stand with them.
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