by Philip Henry
By three a.m. the younger agent was getting restless and the older agent was getting annoyed.
The young agent switched off the radio.
‘What did you do that for?’
‘I’ve fuckin’ had it, listening to news.’
‘It might do you some good to know what’s going on in the world.’
‘I know what’s going on, OK? People killing other people. All news, all depressing, all the time. A list of who’s died for what bullshit reason, that’s all the news is. And you, you’re like an old lady checking the obituaries in the newspaper when you listen to it. It’s ghoulish.’
The older agent considered his young partner for a moment before answering, ‘And what do you consider a bullshit reason for dying?’
‘Religion for a start,’ he answered quickly. ‘Half the mass-murder on this planet is caused by people saying “My god’s better than your god” or “My god could beat your god in a fight.” It’s ridiculous. It’s getting to the point… I don’t think we need vampires anymore. I think we’re quite evil and selfish enough to kill ourselves.’
The older agent studied him, taking it all in, then said, ‘How many times has that little speech got you laid?’
The younger agent tried to hold a straight face but eventually smiled. ‘Yeah, OK. I admit I’ve used that line more than once to some hottie in HQ and it works more often than not.’ His partner nodded, smiling. ‘Still, it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.’
‘You ever try it on our target?’
‘Nah, Nicholl was a bit before my time. I remember seeing her about HQ a few times the first month I started, but she hasn’t been around much lately.’
‘Once seen, never forgotten,’ the older agent added.
‘Yeah, she’s still a MILF.’
‘She’s not a mum.’
‘Isn’t she? OK, then she’s a… OWIB.’
The older agent chuckled. ‘What’s an OWIB?’
‘Older Woman I’d Bone.’ The two agents laughed.
The older agent glanced at the green door as a cat ran past. ‘This is so stupid. I know Nicholl; she isn’t going to come here.’
‘You know her?’
‘No, not like that. I worked with her briefly years ago when she lost her partner.’
‘Bradley, right? I’ve seen the pictures. Nice.’
‘We didn’t work together very long. I think she was already drifting away from Ministry protocols. She started to do things her own way, and more and more often by herself. She still got the job done, but HQ didn’t like it. We went our separate ways soon after. She’s never had a partner since.’
‘You think she’s finally gone over the edge?’
‘No. Just because she stole something from Takamura doesn’t mean she’s turned to a life of theft. Whatever she took, she took for a specific reason. Try telling HQ that, though. No, they know better. So that’s why they’ve got agents all over the country watching every possible mystical object she might steal. A complete waste of time.’
‘What is it that’s in there, again?’
‘The Sword of Light. Very famous in Gaelic mythology. Apparently it can slice through vampires like a hot knife through butter.’
‘Sounds pretty handy. Maybe she will show up if she believes this whole prophecy crap. She might be desperate enough.’
‘Not a chance. She’s smarter than that. Besides, she does quite well with an ordinary sword.’ The older agent squirmed in his seat. ‘These stakeouts are murder on my haemorrhoids.’
‘You want me to go over and get the old Sword of Light and lop them off?’ The young man laughed.
‘Ha, ha, dipshit. Wait ‘til you have twenty years of stakeouts behind you and see how your ass is doing.’
The younger agent stifled his laughter. He looked out at the green door. ‘If this sword’s such a big deal, why’s it kept in a storage room in a dodgy part of town?’
‘The guy who owns it used to keep it in his house, but there were a lot of attempted robberies. No one knows it’s here except him. And us, of course.’
The young agent yawned. ‘I’m hungry. You want anything from the shop?’
‘You could see if they have any cream for… you know.’
‘I am not buying you ass cream!’
‘Why the hell not?’
‘What if it’s a good-looking bird behind the counter? I’m not going to ask her if she has anything for piles.’
‘So typical of the younger generation, always thinking with their dicks and about their dicks.’
‘If it’s a choice between thinking about my dick and your ass, that ain’t no choice at all.’
‘I’m in considerable pain, here.’
The younger man considered it. ‘OK, here’s what I’ll do; if it’s a bloke at the counter I’ll get your ass-cream, but if it’s some tasty bit, I’ll bring you back a bag of frozen peas or something. That’s my best offer.’
‘For God’s sake, it not like the girl behind the counter is…’ The older agent’s attention drifted to the street outside. The younger man followed his gaze. They saw Nicholl creeping towards the green door. She was moving slowly and checking over her shoulder often. The agents’ car was sitting in the shadow of the alley so she didn’t spot it. The older agent spoke in a whisper, ‘I don’t believe it.’
They watched as Nicholl bent down and started picking the lock. A few seconds later the door was open. She pushed it up high enough for her to squeeze underneath, then disappeared inside the building.
‘OK, grab your Taser and follow me,’ the older agent said, already exiting the car.
The two agents ran towards the storage depot. They put their backs to the wall on either side of the door, their Tasers ready. The younger agent waited for the nod, then yanked the door upwards and ran inside. The older agent followed him and hit the lights. There was a long corridor with locked doors all the way up on both sides. One was open. The younger agent went charging down the corridor and straight into the open room without pausing. There was sounds of a scuffle and then the young agent flew backwards out of the room again and hit the metal door opposite. Still dazed, he got up and charged back inside the storage room. The older agent walked slowly towards the room. He could hear the noises of the fight that was raging inside the room. The younger agent flew backwards out of the room again and landed with a groan on the floor. He tried to lift himself up but this time couldn’t manage it. He collapsed with a grunt.
Nicholl stepped out holding the sword, ready to run. She stopped when she saw the older agent.
‘Hello, Nicholl.’
She was surprised. She took a breath before answering, ‘How’s it going, Ward?’
‘Not too bad. I hope you weren’t too rough on the young boy.’
Nicholl glanced at the agent at her feet. ‘He’ll be OK.’
‘Remember when we were that young and impetuous?’
‘He’ll learn. Give him time. How are the haemorrhoids, Ward?’
‘Still a pain in the ass.’
‘I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.’ She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. ‘You don’t have to do this, Ward.’
‘I’m sorry. I do.’
‘If you knew what was going on…’
Ward shook his head.
‘You know I can beat you.’
‘Maybe ten years ago. Have you seen the latest intake of agents? They’re fitter, faster, better than we ever were.’
Nicholl looked down. ‘Like him?’
Ward raised the gun. ‘I am sorry.’ He fired and the two wires rushed at Nicholl. She brought up the sword and cut the wires in mid-air. Ward dropped the Taser and reached into his jacket. Nicholl ran at him and knocked him down. She took the gun from his jacket and stepped over him, heading for the door.
She turned and said, ‘When you see Kyle, tell him…’
Two prongs hit Nicholl in the chest and in the split second before the charge hit her, she saw the bloodied
young agent had picked himself up to a sitting position and had fired his Taser. The last thought Nicholl had was to bring the sword up and sever the wires. The darkness closed around her.
Nicholl woke up in the back seat of Ward’s car. Her hands were cuffed behind her back. She sat up straight but said nothing. The younger agent tended to his injuries in the passenger seat as Ward drove. Ward glanced at her in the rearview mirror but said nothing either. Nicholl hung her head. She noticed enough of the signposts to know they were heading for Ministry HQ. They were still a couple of hours away. She settled back.
Ward and the younger agent made a spectacle of marching Nicholl through the front doors of HQ. She saw the looks of her one-time colleagues. Secretaries who used to look at her with awe and pride, now looked at her with disgust. Nicholl hung her head to avoid their stares. They took the elevator one floor down and again marched her through the desks of dozens of admin personnel. Nicholl saw them all jumping up from their desks so they could get a better look at her. She saw them whispering to each other with looks of distaste on their faces. She saw the younger agent who had hold of her left arm smiling and drinking in all the attention. Ward, who had her right arm, had a neutral look on his face but she sensed he was enjoying it too.
Finally they arrived at Kyle’s office and Ward knocked. They were beckoned from within and Ward opened the door.
Nicholl had been in this office many times, usually to be commended. It looked bigger now, more foreboding. Kyle must be in his sixties, Nicholl thought – a good record for anyone in this business – and was even more distinguished and handsome now that the grey had finally won the fight for supremacy in his hair. On either side of Kyle behind the long desk were two other senior agents, people Nicholl had once looked up to and admired.
Ward and the younger agent marched her forward and sat her down in the chair to face her accusers. Nicholl squirmed to get comfortable, but it wasn’t easy with her hands still cuffed behind her back.
‘Do we really need the cuffs, Kyle?’ she asked.
He considered her. ‘Yes. I think we do.’
Ward and the younger agent left her at the desk and retreated back to the door to stand on either side of it.
‘You’ve led us quite the merry dance, Nicholl. Fenton had all sorts of bad things to say about you. Were they all true?’
‘Probably. Though, in my defence, I gotta say, that guy’s a fuckin’ dick.’
‘Yes, well. Do you want to offer anything else in your defence?’
She looked into his eyes. Kyle was a reasonable man. She had to try. ‘Kyle, you know me. I’m not impetuous and I’m not gullible, but there have been things happening, things prophesied in The Book of Days to Come. You must know. You must be keeping an eye on it, too.’
‘Ministry Intelligence took over the prophecy department, remember? I’m sure they would tell us if the world was about to end.’
‘How many jokes have you and I shared about Ministry Intelligence? They don’t know about this, and if they do, they aren’t doing anything about it.’ She leaned closer. ‘Kyle, this is happening right now! All that stuff is coming true and if we don’t do something the thousand years of darkness will become a reality.’ She heard the younger agent snort behind her, but ignored him. ‘Even if you’re not a hundred percent convinced, where’s the harm in putting a few agents on it just in case?’
‘Where is The Fist of Merlin?’
Nicholl sat back in her chair and exhaled. ‘It’s safe. I need it for a few days.’
‘Your little stunt has created quite a controversy.’
‘When did you turn into such a bureaucrat, Kyle? This job used to be about killing vamps and saving humans. That’s all I’m trying to do!’
‘Anglo-Japanese relations….’
Nicholl got to her feet. The two agents at the door tensed but didn’t advance on her. ‘Fuck Anglo-Japanese relations! I’m trying to save the whole goddamn world and you’re worrying about politics?’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You’re going to save the world?’
‘I know what that sounds like.’
Kyle flipped through the folder on his desk. ‘You missed your last two medical evaluations.’
‘I was busy!’ She took a deep breath and sat down again. ‘Look, I’m not cracking up and I’m not having a breakdown.’ She looked into her superior’s eyes and said softly, ‘Please, Kyle, if I ever needed your trust, I need it now.’
‘Will you disclose the location of The Fist of Merlin?’
Nicholl shook her head and smiled at the absurdity of the question. She looked at him defiantly. ‘No.’
‘Then you leave me no choice.’ He conferred briefly with the two agents on his left and right in whispers then said, ‘It is the opinion of this board that Agent Amanda Nicholl is a security threat and as such is no longer fit for active duty. We believe her judgement to be questionable and her motives highly suspect. You will therefore be taken to Section Zero immediately, where you will spend the rest of your natural life.’ Kyle stamped the front of Nicholl’s file in large red letters that said SECTION ZERO.
Nicholl got up and lunged across the desk at Kyle, her hands still bound behind her back. ‘You fuckin’ moron! You’re not going to believe this is true until it comes up and bites you on the arse!’ The two agents grabbed an arm each and started dragging her back towards the door. ‘Kyle, I’m right about this!’ she screamed. She kept on screaming that same phrase until she was out of earshot of the board.
He looked at her file and then put it in the inactive filing cabinet. He shook his head. One of the other board members patted his shoulder and said, ‘Damn shame.’
‘Even the best agents can crack up and get a “Hero complex” about themselves, but I never thought it would happen to Nicholl,’ Kyle said. He closed the filing cabinet drawer.
The two agents pushed her down the corridor, past the shocked and disappointed looks of her ex-colleagues. They reached the door. Ward entered a code on the keypad on the wall. The door opened and they pushed her inside.
The room was almost bare. The only things that interrupted the straight lines and glaring whiteness were a door at the opposite end from where she came in, a bench bolted to the middle of the floor with a plastic bag sitting on it, and a hatch mounted on one wall. She walked over to the hatch and could feel the heat through the metal. She walked back and sat on the bench. A few minutes later a large woman in her forties came in. Nicholl had seen her around HQ but never knew what she did. She carried a metre-long rod that Nicholl was quite sure delivered an electric shock from the end. The woman walked over and unlocked Nicholl’s handcuffs. She put them in her pocket, then stepped back.
‘OK, Nicholl. I hope you’re not dumb enough to try anything.’
Nicholl shook her head silently.
‘Good girl. Well, come on. You know the drill.’
Nicholl got up and started taking off her clothes. It wasn’t so much the large woman with suspiciously short hair and tattoos on her forearms that bothered her, but the security camera hidden in the light fitting. She knew it was hidden there because she had seen people in this room before. The IT nerds hacked the security footage and passed it among their friends. Just another humiliating perk of being expelled from the Ministry.
When she stood there, naked, her clothes in the bag provided, the large woman approached her. First she took the clips from her hair (once bitten, Nicholl thought), then she took the rings from her fingers, her earrings, her watch and her necklace, and placed them in the plastic bag too. Then she seemed to take great pleasure in looking where only Customs Officers dare to look. When she was satisfied she told Nicholl to go and stand at the door at the other end of the room. The large woman opened the hatch and dropped the plastic bag of Nicholl’s belongings into the incinerator.
The door before Nicholl opened and she stepped inside. She found herself in a small cubicle with another door facing her. There was a bench with an orange boiler-suit
on it and a pair of rubber slippers. The door behind her closed. Nicholl put on the boiler-suit and the slippers.
On the other side of the door before her a hatch dropped down, leaving a circular hole.
‘Wrist,’ a coarse voice said.
Nicholl got up and tentatively put her hand through the hole. Her arm was seized roughly and held as an injection was delivered into her wrist. The grip on her arm was released. She pulled her hand back through the hole and examined the puncture.
The room started to blur. The floor seemed to be tilting in all directions. She put out her hands to steady herself, but a second later dropped to the ground. There were noises above her. Talking maybe. She couldn’t be sure.
The world melted into darkness.
offspring
Kaaliz sat in Project Redbook watching the creatures in the cages. Was one any different than another? Would a Che’al/vampire hybrid in a Garth Brooks T-shirt be more vicious than one in a Shania Twain T-shirt? Cowboy boots versus trainers? A neckerchief could be a positive sign of evil, or maybe a waistcoat. Did it really matter? They were all going topside sooner or later. He didn’t think it made a difference which went first, though he could hear Sin’s voice in the back of his head saying it did. She would know which to send first and she would have a damn good reason. His mind just didn’t work like that.
He got up and wandered into the lab. This is where Sin had spent most of her time working and it still smelled of her. The door had an air-tight seal that had captured her scent and stored it for all these years. Kaaliz sat there, breathing her in.
She was the only one he had ever felt a true connection to. Women had always been something he had to take by force. She had given herself to him, freely. Before he was a vampire women had always been repelled by him. But he had drives, needs. And one way or another, he needed to sate those urges.
When he was a mortal he had kidnapped a psychiatrist, a pretty one with long hair and a short skirt. He had asked her why he was the way he was. She had screamed for nearly an hour, then realised the only way she had a chance of living through her abduction was to co-operate with him. She had asked him about his childhood. He had no mother and didn’t know what had happened to her. His father would beat him whenever he mentioned her, so he soon learned not to ask. He lived in a ramshackle house on the edge of a forest, with no other houses for miles. He went to school briefly and remembers being ridiculed for the smell that followed him around.