Never

by Lulu Pratt

  Lara

  My phone rings just as I’m parking my car in the lot by my apartment, and when I see that it’s Dad, I hesitate. It’s been a week since Riley’s second birthday party, and Dad has been on his best behavior since I told him that if he didn’t keep his mouth shut about Ethan, I was going to cut him out of both my and Riley’s lives.

  “Hey Dad,” I say, after finally deciding to pick it up. “I’m just getting home from work. What’s up?”

  “I wanted to make sure that you knew before anyone else,” Dad says, and I feel my stomach twist inside of me with a kind of foreboding.

  “What’s going on?” I know, somehow, that whatever is happening is not going to be something that I will want, or like, or appreciate.

  “I just got out of a lawyer’s office, and I’ve filed paperwork with the family courts,” Dad says. The phone nearly slips out of my hand. I know I should have expected that just because he was acting polite and keeping things civil, Dad is still bitter and resentful to Ethan for, in his opinion, ruining everything and killing Alexis. But I had hoped that at least there wouldn’t be a lawyer foolish enough to enable him. It isn’t foolish to want to make money off an old fool, I think bitterly.

  “Dad, God. What did you file paperwork for?” I cover my eyes with my free hand and shake my head.

  “I’m requesting that full custody be transferred to you,” Dad says. I groan and let my head fall back against the headrest on the driver’s seat. In one fell swoop he’s managed to exceed my expectations for how badly he could possibly screw up things.

  “How in the world do you think any court in this country is going to go along with you on that for even a second?” I want to point out to him that he’s practically spitting on Alexis’ grave doing this, but I know he won’t see it that way.

  “I’m arguing that between the two of us, we can make a stable home for her, which your arrangement with Ethan won’t do,” Dad explains.

  “What?” I can hear the pride in Dad’s voice and it just spurs a deeper anger in me.

  “You can move back home, and work full time, without having to spend a couple of days a week working from the house, and I can take care of Riley during the day,” Dad says.

  “Dad, do you really think that any court in his country is going to deny a father access to his daughter? His motherless daughter? Especially when he’s clearly a good father?”

  “I think when the court hears about how much Ethan has screwed up this family, and how unstable he’s going to make his daughter’s life, they’ll find in our favor,” Dad replies.

  “I can’t believe you,” I tell him. I shake my head, even though I know he can’t see me. “I really can’t believe you, Dad. How could you do something like this?” I take a breath.

  “It’s what’s best for Riley, and Ethan doesn’t deserve to win!” Dad shouts through the phone.

  I cringe at the fact that Dad still, somehow, thinks of Ethan’s situation as him “winning” anything. No matter how much I might be pissed off at Ethan still for what happened with my sister, or all the other baggage we have, I wouldn’t say at all that he’s “won” anything.

  “Dad, I am furious that you’ve pulled this. I can’t even talk to you right now.”

  I end the call and toss my phone in my purse, trying to think about what I should do to deal with this situation. Every nerve in my body seems to be firing off in spasms as I walk back to the building and head for my apartment.

  The first thing I need to do is call Ethan. If Dad wanted me to know first, then I owe it to Ethan to let him know second. I manage to find my phone in my purse just after I get into my apartment. I toss my purse onto the kitchen counter, find Ethan’s number, kick off my shoes and throw myself down on the living room couch all in a matter of a few moments. As soon as I hear Ethan’s voice, I start talking.

  “You will not believe what my crazy fucking father has done,” I say.

  “What? Hold on, let me take you off speaker. I want to hear this, but I don’t want to risk Riley hearing it,” he says.

  “My father has apparently found a lawyer who’s willing to take his money in exchange for filing paperwork to give me full custody of Riley,” I say once Ethan gives me the go-ahead.

  “What?” I hear him catch himself and wonder just how close Riley is to him. I should have gotten better control over myself before I called him, but I didn’t have the time. I didn’t have the patience, either.

  “Dad just called me and said that he and a lawyer filed paperwork to try to get me full custody of Riley, with some bullshit argument about how if I move in with him and Riley comes with me we can, him and I, give her a solid home life instead of ferrying her back and forth,” I explain.

  “That’s f… that’s ridiculous,” Ethan says.

  “Yeah, it is,” I agree. “Please believe me when I say that I don’t want to take Riley from you.”

  “I know, Lara. Thank you for letting me know. What the hell are we going to do?”

  That’s a good question, and one I don’t have an answer for. I’d only gotten as far as the need to tell Ethan in my thought process. Even now, I don’t really know what we do about this.

  “The first thing is going to be for me to keep Riley away from him,” I say after thinking about it for a moment.

  “Isn’t that going to make him angrier?”

  I shrug. Some of the adrenaline is finally ebbing out of my system and I can, to some degree, think again.

  “I told him that if he didn’t stop pushing things, I was going to remove myself and Riley both out of his life. I need to follow through on that,” I say.

  “If you think that’s the way to handle him, then I can’t tell you not to,” Ethan says. But I can hear the hesitation in his voice.

  “You should let your parents know, too, what Dad did,” I tell him. I don’t want to call my brother-in-law’s parents. While they are not quite as angry at me as Dad is concerning Ethan, it’s become obvious to me that they think that I’m far more likely to side with my father than with Ethan, and I can’t completely blame them for that. In theory, I don’t have any real reason to side with Ethan in this, not given our history. But it would be wrong of me not to, and I’m not the slightest bit tempted to try to screw him over, no matter what our history is.

  “I’ll call them as soon as I get off the phone with you,” Ethan promises. “Christ, this is just… insane.”

  “It is,” I agree. I take a deep breath, and realize that I’ve come to the end of what I might be able to do about the situation. “Let me know what they decide to do, and how I can help. I’m going to get dinner going and let you take care of the things on your end.”

  I end the call feeling as unsettled as ever, but at least I’ve done something.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Ethan

  “Thanks for taking Riley at the last minute like this,” I say to Mom as I get ready to leave for the day. I’d originally been planning to leave Riley with Nathan, but after he filed paperwork a few days before to try to get my own daughter away from me out of spite, I’d agreed with Lara’s idea that he needed to face the consequences. Neither of us would include him in Riley’s life, and Lara was doubling down on that by not taking his phone calls.

  “We’re happy to have her,” Mom says, smiling at me. Dad comes into the living room, leaving Riley to finish her morning sleep in the guest bedroom.

  “We wanted to tell you, we’ve made arrangements with our lawyer,” Dad says. I raise an eyebrow at this.

  “What?” I can feel the low dread starting up in the pit of my stomach, at just the mention of a lawyer.

  “After you told us what Nathan had done, we contacted a lawyer of our own,” Mom says.

  I cross my arms over my chest.

  “And just what are you trying to do?” My sense of how awful this is going to be deepens.

  “We’re going to counter-sue, basically,” Dad explains.

  “Connie says that we ha
ve an argument for disregarding Alexis’ final wishes. Since Lara’s father is trying to get full custody for her as Riley’s guardian, with him attached as a caregiver, we’re going to sue to give you full custody, with no visitation rights for either Nathan or Lara that you don’t grant,” Mom says.

  For a second, I just stare at the two of them. What they’re saying is insane. They’re suing Nathan, but for Lara to lose custody or visitation? Lara was the one who came to me, right away, when her Dad filed paperwork.

  “What the hell?” I shake my head. “No.”

  “Yes, Ethan,” Mom says.

  “Your mother and I want to make sure that your rights as Riley’s father are intact, and this is the best way to do it,” Dad adds.

  “No, this is the best way to guarantee that Riley is going to be stressed out and pulled in a hundred different directions before she even turns three,” I tell them.

  “We need to settle this once and all, and we need to make sure that Nathan doesn’t get away with his petty little attempt to punish you,” Mom counters, her voice firm.

  “So why involve Lara in it at all? Why not just press the case that Alexis’ last wishes need to be respected?” I shake my head again. Whatever I’d had planned for today is going totally pear-shaped in the face of this.

  “Lara might have let you know about her father’s stupid legal maneuvering, but ultimately the only way to make sure that you keep primary custody of Riley is to cut her out,” Dad tells me.

  “That’s what Connie told us,” Mom says, nodding along with him.

  “No. What you could do is let Lara and I sort this out. You could have at least consulted with us, with me if no one else, before you took a step like this. How are either of you any better than Nathan right now?”

  “We’re reacting to his stupidity. If he hadn’t pulled that bullshit with the lawyer, then we wouldn’t have had to do this,” Dad says.

  “You still didn’t have to do this,” I counter. “You could have acted like grown-ass adults and let Lara and me handle it.”

  “Do you really think she’s not going to go along with her father? She hates you, Ethan. Not that I can entirely blame her, considering what happened between the three of you.” Mom pins me down with that look, the look I hate under the best of circumstances.

  “I know I can trust her because she’s been above-board the whole time,” I say.

  “As far as you know, you mean,” Dad says.

  “She’s been completely above-board, and I know she has,” I insist.

  I close my eyes and clench my teeth. I know my parents are trying to look out for me, and for Riley, in their own weird way, but this is just going to make everything a million times worse.

  “We wanted you to know because the court is probably going to want to hear from you, and I’m sure they’ll want to hear from Lara too,” Mom tells me, and she’s using that gentle tone she always uses when she wants to convince me to do something.

  “I’m definitely going to talk to Lara about this. Thanks for throwing a monkey wrench into an already screwed-up engine,” I say, shaking my head again. “I need to head out. I can’t believe the two of you.”

  I turn and leave without saying a proper goodbye, because while I’m not furious with my parents, I don’t actually know how I feel exactly. I’m frustrated, but I know they’re just trying to do something they think will protect me.

  I get my phone out of my pocket as I climb into my car and wait until I get to a place where I can stop for a couple of minutes before I dial Lara.

  “Hey, Lara. Listen, we need to meet up like… right now. I don’t know what you’ve got going on, but shit is going down,” I say, as soon as the call connects.

  “Wait, what’s going on?” Lara sounds like she might have had to pull over to take my call and I remember that normally she actually goes to the office. Her day’s about to get as screwed up as mine has become.

  “My parents counter-sued,” I say.

  “What?” The word comes over the line as almost a shriek, and I hold the phone away from my ear cringing.

  “Yeah. That’s why we need to meet up. Can you come over to my place?”

  “Fuck. Yeah, give me like… thirty minutes. I need to call work and let them know.”

  “Me too,” I say. We don’t say anything else, but both get off the phone, and I call my boss. I tell him that something’s come up with Riley, which isn’t a lie, but it’s only part of the truth, and that I can’t come in today. He tells me that he’ll get my work for the day covered. He knows there’s been a lot of shit going on since Alexis died, and I think he’s just grateful I haven’t gone off the deep end.

  Before too long I’m driving back to my house, trying to think through the mess that my parents have just made a million times worse. How the hell are Lara and I going to figure this shit out? How in the world are we going to make any of this work, and how can we keep Riley from finding out how much her grandparents are screwing with her life?

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Lara

  I’m almost shaking by the time I get to Ethan’s place and shut off the engine in my car. Between my dad’s insanity, and his parents’ reaction to it, I have no idea what either of us is even going to do. Not to mention there’s no way to really keep Riley out of this, poor girl.

  I’d been on my way to work when he called, since it was his parents’ day to take care of Riley, I’d known immediately that there was something really, truly wrong for him to have called me like that, and the first words out of his mouth did nothing to put me at ease. My boss hadn’t been exactly happy to hear that I needed to call out for the day, but she knew better than to argue from the tone of my voice. I’m sure I sounded pissed and harried in equal measures.

  “Hey, come in,” Ethan says, answering the door a second after I knock. We’re both in work clothes. Mine are a little more dressed up than his, but I have to admit that he looks good, better even than he does when he comes by to pick Riley up. I see him give me a quick double take and then we’re both walking into the living room, sitting down.

  “What the hell is going on?” I bring my hands up to my face. “Everything has gone crazy.”

  “Yeah, it has,” Ethan says. He sighs, and I look through my fingers to see him shake his head.

  “So, they’re suing my dad. What exactly are they trying to do?”

  “According to them, the only option is to ask to have Alexis’ last wishes put aside and grant me full, sole custody of Riley, with control over visitation,” Ethan explains.

  “So basically, because my dad is trying to screw things up, I get punished too,” I say bitterly.

  “That’s the shape of it, yeah,” Ethan agrees. I groan and clench my hands into fists. I know Ethan’s parents are just trying to keep his position as Riley’s dad secure, but I can’t believe they’d screw me over like this when I’ve given them no reason to think that I have any intention of going along with Dad’s insanity.

  “I would say I can’t believe it, but I guess this is just the way things had to go,” I say. I clench my teeth. What the hell are either of us going to do? What even can we do?

  “We can figure something out,” Ethan says, almost as if he’s read my mind.

  “I don’t know what we can do other than… I guess just refuse to participate in either case,” I say, racking my brain to figure out all the angles.

  “Well, the argument both of our parents seem to be making is that Riley needs a stable life,” Ethan points out. I wonder how it’s possible for him to be so much more clear-headed about this whole mess than I am. But then, I think, he’s had more time to process the whole situation.

  “Right. Dad is saying that ferrying Riley back and forth between our houses and your parents’ and his house is harmful to her,” I agree.

  “And my parents are kind of countering that while that’s right, it’s just more reason for Riley to stay with me alone,” Ethan adds.

  I take a deep breath
. “So, one option is proving that it isn’t the case,” I say. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and worry it for a few moments.

  “Well, if it was that big of a problem, family courts would never give parents joint custody of kids, right?”

  I smile slightly. That’s an excellent point.

  “And I guess the other option is that we’ll both testify against them, against all of them, and in favor of keeping Alexis’ will provisions intact,” I point out.

  “I think… as much as it sucks, we might have to come out against both your dad and my parents. Like not just testify against them, but keep them all from being in Riley’s life, if they’re going to pull something like this,” Ethan says.

  I consider that. I’ve already followed through on my threat to Dad that if he couldn’t keep from trying to punish Ethan, I’d pull Riley out of his life and stay out of his life myself. It’s only fair that Ethan’s parents get the same consequences, though obviously that’s going to make planning our division of watching her that much more complicated.

  “Yeah, that might be what we have to do,” I say, sighing. I can still feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the prospect of losing contact with Riley completely terrifies me, even though I know, intellectually, that Ethan would probably do everything in his power to make sure that I have access to his daughter.

  “We could also figure out a way that we don’t have to split her up so much,” Ethan says, and I look at him, confused.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean… if we lived closer to each other, that might help,” Ethan says. “And we’d be able to see more of each other overall.”

  I look down at my hands. Could I really deal with seeing even more of Ethan than I already do?

  “I don’t know if that would be wise,” I say slowly.

  “Why not? It would give us an edge over either argument,” Ethan points out.

  I look at him steadily for a few moments, thinking of how to say what it is that I want to say.

  “We’ve had sex. We’ve made out. If we lived closer together…” I shake my head slowly.