by Francis Ray
“Is she all right?” Jonathan asked the moment he stopped in front of them.
“About as well as you’d imagine.” Adam stood. “Can we talk?”
“Come on.” Jonathan took Adam’s arm, then stopped to ask Lilly, “Will you be all right here?”
She picked up a fashion magazine. “I’m fine. Go on.”
Jonathan didn’t need any further urging to take Adam to his office. “No matter what you think, this is my fault and not Eleanor’s,” he said when he closed his office door.
“I’m not here to find fault, Jonathan,” Adam said, extending his cane. “I’ve known you all my life. You’ve never committed a single act that would make me doubt your integrity.”
Jonathan paced away, then returned. “I love your mother.”
“If I thought otherwise, this cane would be on your head instead of the floor,” Adam said calmly.
Jonathan’s lips curved slightly upward for a brief moment. “How does Kristen feel?”
Adam wouldn’t lie. “At the moment she can’t accept the idea of you and Mother together.”
“Oh, God. What a mess.” Jonathan went to the window to look out toward the sprawling Shreveport Memorial Hospital. “Eleanor loves her children more than her life. She’d cut off her arm with a smile on her face before willingly hurting either of you.”
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.”
“It means I don’t have a chance. I’d fight for her if I thought I’d win, but I wouldn’t, and Eleanor and Kristen’s relationship would be damaged irrevocably.”
“I’m sorry.” Jonathan knew Eleanor as well as Adam. “Kristen is going through a rough time now. She and Eric broke up. She’s not talking, but it’s obvious she’s hurting badly. It’s my bet there’s another woman involved.”
Jonathan turned from the window. “The little bastard.”
Adam wasn’t surprised by the venom in Jonathan’s voice on behalf of Kristen. She may have tried to cut Jonathan out of her life, but she’d always be a part of his. “Kristen thinks you loved me best; I always knew it was her.”
Jonathan nodded. “She needed me. You were always independent and cocky.”
“She still needs us, Jonathan,” Adam said, his hand clenched on the cane. “She’s still trying to find her place in this crazy world.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Jonathan asked heatedly. “I won’t make it any more difficult for her. I told you I’m out of the picture. If that’s all you came to tell me, you can go. I have patients to see.”
Adam took a step toward the shadow that moved through the bright light. “I came because I admire you and I don’t think there’s a better man in the world for my mother or to be a friend to this family. I came because I wanted to let you know that my surgery is scheduled for eight in the morning.”
Strong fingers closed around his upper forearms. “I…I wish I could be there with you.”
“I’ll have Lilly call when we know.”
“You do that.” Jonathan’s hands fell; he stepped back.
Adam extended his hand. “I’ll be gone for several weeks, but I’ll see you when I get back.”
Jonathan’s hand closed around Adam’s; then he pulled him roughly against his chest. Adam had come a long way. Seeing no longer just meant visually; it meant being with a person. “You take care of yourself and tell Scott he had damn well better live up to his reputation.”
“Is that the only message you want me to deliver?”
There was a long silence; then, as if the word was dragged from the depth of his soul, Jonathan said, “Yes.”
The jet was waiting for them on the runway. Lilly followed Adam up the stairs and into the plane. Eleanor and Kristen were already aboard and seated side by side.
“You saw him, didn’t you? That’s the errand you had to take care of, isn’t it?” From her window seat Kristen peered around her mother’s suddenly tense body. The magazine in Eleanor’s hand shook.
Adam allowed Lilly to take her seat, then sat beside her and buckled his seat belt. “I saw Jonathan. I wanted to let him know about the surgery.”
Kristen’s gaze flew to the door. “He’s not coming, is he?”
“No, Jonathan doesn’t want us to take sides,” Adam said.
“Meaning I do,” she tossed back.
“Meaning he loves you.” Adam removed his glasses, trying to will himself to see through the smoky haze. It was useless, as useless as trying to get his sister to understand that the love between Jonathan and their mother didn’t diminish what she and their father had shared. But he wasn’t giving up on either.
“We all do. Love is what has kept this family together through the bad times. That’s not going to change. Did you stop loving me when I was going through my depression and being an ass?”
“Adam.”
He ignored his mother’s outrage. “Did you, Kristen?”
“No.”
“Then why would you think we’d stop loving you?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “You’re hurting and you may want to hurt. I can handle that because I know deep down the capacity for love you have. I remember the little girl who always wanted to include everyone at her party, went out of her way to help others. That person understood love and loving.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“No, you aren’t. You’re an adult, so act like one.”
Kristen looked at the window; then a sound made her turn. She glanced around. Her mother’s head was bowed. Kristen heard the sound again. Frown-ing, she saw the teardrops splatter on the page of the fashion magazine in her mother’s hands.
Quickly Kristen glanced away, fighting her own tears.
There was a steady procession of hospital staff in and out of Adam’s room the next morning. Although vitrectomy surgery was usually done in day surgery, Dr. Scott had decided to keep Adam overnight for precautionary measures. Thus he’d been given a private room instead of a cubicle in the day surgery area. The fragrant scent of flowers lingered in the air. Flowers had been in his suite when he checked in, and more had arrived as the morning lengthened.
“You ready to do this?” Dr. Scott asked, coming to Adam’s bedside.
“You should be in the OR scrubbing up,” Adam said playfully, grasping the hand that took his.
“Still giving orders.” Dr. Scott turned to Eleanor and glanced around the room. “Where’s Jonathan?”
“He couldn’t make it,” Adam answered into the growing silence.
“Must have been mighty important,” Dr. Scott said. “I thought he’d want to scrub in and watch over my shoulder. He’s hovered over you like a guardian angel in the past.”
“You’ll take care of Adam, won’t you, Louis?” Eleanor asked from the other side of the bed.
“I’ve got the best team in the country. We’ll be in about two or three hours, depending on what we find. I’ll keep you posted,” he said, then nodded to the orderly standing just inside the door.
The man opened the door and pulled in a gurney. A middle-aged woman came in behind him wearing a pink smock.
“The volunteer will show you where to wait.”
Eleanor leaned over and kissed Adam on the cheek. Kristen followed suit. “We’ll be waiting and praying.” They left with the volunteer.
“I’m missing a kiss,” Adam said lightly.
Lilly flushed.
“I don’t think you meant me,” Dr. Scott said with a broad grin. “I’ll herd everyone outside and give you one minute.”
“Lilly,” Adam said as soon as he heard the sound of the door swinging open, then closed. “Did I embarrass you?”
“No. I wanted to kiss you,” she admitted truthfully. It would be one more memory.
“Then kiss me.” Her mouth brushed against his, a gentle pressing of lips; then her cheek was against his. He felt the wetness. “I’ll be all right. Either way. I’ll be all right.”
“I know.”
“Do me a favor? You’ll
know before I do. Call Jonathan for me.”
“I will.”
The door opened and Dr. Scott and the orderly came back. “They’re waiting for you outside, Ms. Crawford.”
Squeezing Adam’s hand, she started from the room. Opening the door, she heard the doctor say, “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Adam.”
Her heart in her throat, she paused in spite of herself and listened for a response from Adam. “You don’t have to tell me she’s beautiful, Louis; I already know.”
Letting the door swing shut, Lilly fought the stinging in her eyes. More than anything she wanted Adam to regain his sight. What she didn’t want was to see the disappointment on his face when he saw her for the first time.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam drifted in and out of consciousness on the operating table, catching bits and pieces of conversation about a golf tournament, needing more suctioning, the high cost of malpractice insurance, the cute 11–7 nurse in ICU. He tried to remain conscious, but the anesthesia was taking him down under a black layer of clouds. His last conscious thought was a prayer that when he awoke the clouds would have lifted forever from his eyes.
Waiting had never been easy for Eleanor. With each dragging minute, she prayed for Adam and wished Jonathan were with them. The day surgery waiting room was empty except for her and Kristen. Lilly had gone to the chapel. Kristen had wanted to stay, and Eleanor had stayed with her. The door opened and Eleanor turned and blinked.
“Jonathan!” Eleanor cried and started toward him, then stopped abruptly as if she had run into a solid wall. She turned away, her eyes shut.
Jonathan’s gaze hungrily followed Eleanor; then he saw Kristen sitting in a straight chair looking at him with narrow, watchful eyes. Despite her phone call to him early that morning asking him to come as quickly as possible, she obviously hadn’t forgiven or accepted him. How much pain was a man supposed to take in a lifetime? He started to back out of the room.
“Where’re you going?” Kristen asked casually, her long legs crossed at the ankles, her hands loosely linked in her lap.
“Is this your idea of a sick joke?” Jonathan asked, his jaw clenched.
She shrugged. “I thought when a man really cared about a woman, he’d fight for her. But I see you don’t deserve my mother.”
Jonathan stalked across the room until he towered over the young woman he loved like a daughter. After two sleepless nights he’d been pushed to his limit. “Don’t you dare tell me I don’t love your mother. I’ve loved her from the first time I saw her. I loved her through her pregnancies with Adam and you, felt blessed and tortured that she and Randolph allowed me to be a part of your lives. But I know what you and Adam mean to her. I won’t make her choose.”
“Afraid you’d lose?” Kristen taunted, her gaze intent.
“Eleanor would lose. When she hurts, I hurt. Maybe one day you’ll be the woman I thought you were and realize that.” He whirled to leave.
“Jonathan, wait,” Eleanor said. “Kristen, I told you I wouldn’t see Jonathan again. But what you’ve done is reprehensible.”
Kristen studied her mauve-colored manicured nails. “I had to see something for myself.”
“How badly you could hurt us?” her mother asked, fighting the stinging moisture in her eyes.
“No. How much you loved each other,” Kristen said quietly and looked up. “You’ve been miserable since the other night, but you would have let him walk out again, and he would have given you up to keep from hurting you further. It seems I didn’t know what love is any more than Eric did.”
“He hurt you.” Jonathan’s eyes went flint-hard.
“I’ll get over it.” Kristen came to her feet. “Now, give my mother a kiss and we can go join Lilly in the chapel.”
Jonathan didn’t move. “I have to know something first.” He faced Eleanor. “I can’t go through losing you again. If Kristen suddenly decided she didn’t want me around, would you walk out on me again? Before you answer, be sure.”
“Don’t I have anything to say about this?” Kristen asked.
“No,” Jonathan and Eleanor answered at the same time.
Hope shone in his eyes. “I love you, Eleanor. I loved you yesterday. I love you today. I’ll love you forever.”
“I love you,” she repeated, then rushed into the shelter of his arms. She was lifted and held tight against his wide chest. When her feet touched the floor his lips were on hers. The kiss was full of need and promises that would never be broken.
Eleanor’s shaky fingertips replaced her lips. “I couldn’t stand to lose you again.” She turned to Kristen. “You have to live your life just as I have to live mine. I love him.”
Kristen glanced from her mother to Jonathan. It didn’t take much effort to remember a similar look between her mother and father. Her father had loved her mother unconditionally. Adam was right. He wouldn’t have wanted her to be alone. “So when’s the wedding?”
Eleanor flushed again. “He hasn’t—”
“Will you marry me, Eleanor?” Jonathan asked, cutting her off.
Eleanor beamed. “Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.”
Kristen smiled, her own heart lighter. “I’d say we have a big surprise for Adam when he wakes up.”
The instant Eleanor saw Dr. Scott’s face she knew. Tears flooded her eyes. She leaned into Jonathan. Lilly and Kristen rose in tandem from the leather couch.
Grinning broadly, Dr. Scott stopped in front of Eleanor. “He came through the surgery just fine. Optic nerve and retina intact in both eyes. Macula looks healthy. I removed the hemorrhage without any problems. Barring complications, he should be back to twenty-thirty within a couple of months.”
Jonathan clapped the surgeon on the back. “I always heard you had the best hands next to God.”
“That’s a compliment I don’t take lightly,” he said. “Glad you showed up.”
Jonathan glanced down at Eleanor. “My family needed me.”
Adam woke slowly. He heard voices. He blinked. Blackness surrounded him. His heart booming, he tried to send a message to his brain. He needed—
“Dr. Wakefield, you’re in the recovery room.” A gentle hand restrained his hand from touching the bandages on his eyes. “You came through just fine. Optic nerve intact, retina intact, macula intact, hemorrhage removed,” continued a calm, soothing voice that understood what he’d want to know. “You’re probably a little groggy. Dr. Scott went to talk to your family. You’re going to be fine. Try not to touch the bandages on your eyes. You’re fine. You’re fine.”
With a litany of thanks going though his brain, Adam drifted back to sleep. He was going to see again.
The next time he woke up, they were moving him to his room. He barely got inside before he heard the women, then Jonathan’s voice. Kristen explained how she had called him and finished by telling of their mother and Jonathan’s plans to get married.
Adam knew Kristen had it in her. But one person had been quiet.
“Lilly?” He lifted his hand.
Hers quickly closed around his. “Rest. I’m here, Adam.”
He went to sleep vowing that by his side was where she’d remain. His life was finally getting back on track.
“You should have told me.” Arms folded, Adam sat on the couch in his home in Sausalito Saturday afternoon. “I could have postponed the surgery.”
“No.” Lilly knelt in front of him and placed her hands on his denim-covered knees. They’d only been home from the hospital a couple of hours and had been arguing half that time. “I told you I have to take care of this myself.”
“You need a character reference. I could have gone with you.”
“Adam, you aren’t listening,” she said patiently. He’d been upset since she told him that her court date was Monday and she was flying to Dallas the next afternoon. “I need to do this on my own. I have to face Myron, look him in the eye, and be unafraid.”
“What if he tries to harm you?” Adam asked, unfolding
his arms.
Her hands trembled, then steadied. “I’ll be in a court full of people. Nothing is going to happen to me.”
“You can’t be sure. If that scum touches you—”
“He won’t,” Lilly said quietly. “Please don’t get upset about this. Don’t make me regret telling you.”
“Scott won’t allow me to fly, dammit!”
“Neither will I. Please let me do this on my own. Trust me.” She needed him to understand. “Please.”
Suddenly his hands reached out and closed around her forearms, then lifted her. She tensed, then relaxed as she landed in his lap. The arms locked around her were fierce and protective. “You aren’t going alone and that’s final. If Mother or Kristen can’t go with you, I’ll hire someone. Your choice.”
“Were you always this dictatorial?” she asked, her voice unsteady.
“Yes.”
It took all of her willpower not to kiss his stubborn chin or lean into the shelter of his arms. “In that case, I’ll ask Eleanor. Now, if you’ll let me up, I need to pack.”
“Call Mother first.” His hold loosened.
Reluctantly she came off his lap. “All right. Any other orders?”
“Just be safe and come back to me.”
Warmth and love swept through her. If only he loved her instead of needed her she’d be the happiest woman in the world.
“I will,” she said and walked from the room.
The private jet landed at Love Field in Dallas, Texas, at nine-thirty Monday morning. A car and driver were waiting for Lilly and Eleanor. Lilly was grateful. She wanted to be able to get back to Adam as soon as the hearing was over.
She and Eleanor got inside the stretch limousine, and the driver hit Carpenter Freeway and headed south toward Highway 45 and Little Elm. Less than an hour later, Lilly saw the city sign and fought against the fear creeping through her. Opening her purse, she took out Adam’s medical school graduation ring. He’d given it to her that morning since he couldn’t be with her. Nothing could have pleased or encouraged her more.