by Brenda Trim
She added persistent to his list of characteristics when he wouldn’t be denied and she closed her eyes as he forced her face up. “Open your eyes and look at me now, Shijéí.” Like a puppet, her eyes obeyed. He gasped and his eyes widened in shock and dismay. That was not the reaction she expected.
“Oh Goddess, did I hurt you? Was I too rough? What is it? Tell me, please.” Numerous emotions flickered through his amethyst depths but concern for her rang strongest.
She took a deep breath and gathered her courage, letting her anger take over. She wasn’t going to allow him to take the coward’s way out and run. He lived with her sister, and she would have on-going contact with him, so she’d better set him straight now.
“Why did you fuck me again if I disgust you? I don’t want a pity fuck from you. And, I sure as hell didn’t mean to beg you so pathetically for your oh-so-magnificent dick! Surely, a man as sexy and intelligent as you can get a woman who doesn’t make him throw up,” she spat.
His eyes widened further, if possible. This time she couldn’t decipher what he was feeling. “Is that what you think? Goddess, I’ve fucked this all up. You couldn’t be more wrong. You are perfect in every way.”
She snorted with derision. “You are good, I’ll give you that. You had me going there for a while. I believed you found me attractive and actually wanted me. I should’ve known better, given that you acted the same with that skank I saw you with at Confetti. I’m glad I didn’t claw her eyes out like I wanted. I am such an idiot!”
Jace reached out and stopped her as she tried to brush past him. “Let me go,” she demanded.
“No, not until you listen to me,” he retorted as he pulled her flush against him. She refused to shudder in pleasure at feeling his flesh against her own. It had felt like she had found home when they joined. How wrong she was. She couldn’t trust her body or her instincts where this man was concerned. A sob escaped, but she choked back her tears, not wanting to give him any more power over her.
“Shh, let me explain.” He was the one pleading now. The vulnerable, frightened look in his eyes had her pausing to listen to what he had to say, against her better judgment. Suddenly, she felt more naked than ever. He rubbed her back in soothing circles for long moments, and of course, her traitorous body responded. A hard length prodded her stomach, telling her he wasn’t entirely revolted by her. It was the reminder she needed. The mating compulsion really did affect them both equally. She reached up and touched the mate mark on her neck, missing the way it sizzled with heat when Jace touched it.
“As much as I want to take you back to my bed and pay proper homage to your body, we need to talk.” She allowed him to grasp her hand and lead her to the leather sofa in the living room.
She sat on the buttery soft cushions and wrapped her arms around her waist. Jace grabbed a blanket and draped it around her shoulders and sat next to her. He ignored her recoil and pulled her into his arms anyways. She was glad to be covered, minimizing any contact of their skin. She couldn’t control herself when they touched.
“I am so sorry for hurting you. Please stop shaking, it’s killing me,” he whispered into her hair.
She hadn’t realized she was shaking. She took several deep breaths, willing herself to calm. “I don’t want your apology,” she croaked past the tears.
He pulled away and captured her gaze for several moments before turning away. She gave him time to gather his thoughts. She was about to give up and leave when he broke the silence.
“I had hoped to keep this hidden from you.” He lifted his head and the pain and shame she saw floored her. That was not what she expected to see. This warrior carried deep wounds. “I was kidnapped and held prisoner over seven hundred years ago.” He sat forward and balanced his arms on his knees.
She hated to pry, but now that he had opened that door, she had to know. “What happened?”
His head dropped forward and he stared blankly at the floor, lost in his painful past. “An older sorceress, named Lady Angelica wanted the power my family wielded, and meant to garner control over it when she took me. She was beautiful, and I was an inexperienced youth. One moment, she was seducing me in a realm tavern, and the stupid, randy lad that I was didn’t see her for what she truly was until I woke up chained to a stone slab.”
She ignored the jealous flare she felt when he mentioned this Angelica, whom she had heard in his thoughts, was beautiful. Her gut churned at what he must have experienced. “What did she want? What did she do to you?”
He heaved a heavy sigh that carried the weight of the world. “She wanted the power of the Mystik Grimoire. As you know, it holds many spells and incantations and a person of evil intent could use them to garner power over others. Only those of incorruptible blood, as my father used to say, are allowed to access and utilize the book. That was why she needed me. As for what she did to me, she…” he trailed off, gulping and she saw sweat bead on his brow. His skin lost some of its radiant glow, as well.
She ran her hand over his back and twined the fingers of her other hand through his. He squeezed, as if needing her support. “At first she used physical punishments to try and gain my compliance. When that didn’t work, she resorted to using other methods. I had never experienced the pleasure of a woman’s body, and she thought it would be easy to use sexual means to influence me, but my body refused to respond to her. She resorted to spells and creams and incense to incite a reaction that I didn’t feel. My body may have hardened but I never orgasmed with her, or any other female for that matter.” He stopped and a shudder rolled through his body.
He broke her heart with his confession, and it made her fall for him that much more. She was losing her heart to this sexy sorcerer, and once that happened, there would be no turning back.
“After several decades of the torture, I started praying to the Goddess for the book. I wanted her abuse to end, and knew it never would stop because I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I was helpless to the magically reinforced chains…I hated what she did to me,” he whispered.
Through her bond to him, she sensed his self-loathing and perceived weakness. That this warrior felt like he should have been able to do something to break free was astonishing. He was barely more than a child, and his powers had been stripped.
That he had trusted her with his pain and suffering humbled her. She had seen that he held a piece of himself back from those around him, and now knew what it was. She understood the shame he felt, even if he was mistaken.
“Oh, Jace, you are the bravest man I have ever met,” she crooned. Tears were streaming down her face as she suffered for him. “I wish I could have stopped her. And I understand why you reacted the way you did. You must relive what she did to you every time.”
Startled eyes met hers. “That’s not it at all. I love sex with you. In fact, I’d venture to say I’m addicted to you. The only way I can explain what happens is that I feel like I am battling a dark beast who always wins, and if I become aroused, I become violently ill. I have never been able to move beyond a kiss with a female. You are the only female to ever bring me such pleasure.” He gently brushed her tears away.
Cailyn was shocked that this passionate guy had never been able to experience real pleasure. It sickened her to think that his only experience with sex was of being helpless and violated by someone with evil intentions. She was convinced there was more at work. “So, you’re under a spell then?”
“No, it’s not a spell. I would have felt if someone hexed me, and the foreign magic would stand out to me.”
She gazed into his watery eyes, amazed that such a courageous man existed. Suspicion nagged at her. If she were some crazed lunatic, she wouldn’t allow her source to simply walk away. She’d want a way to hopefully gain power over him at some later date. “Even if you were being tortured and didn’t fully understand your own powers?”
Jace stood suddenly and crossed to the piles of clothes. “No, that’s not possible. I would know,” he insisted, agitati
on clear in his movements. He yanked on his clothing and paced the room restlessly. She wanted to reach out to him but sensed he wouldn’t welcome her touch. “I need some space. I’ll be back. Please don’t leave the compound again.”
Mouth hanging open, she watched for the third time as this man walked away from her. She worried about the flash of devastation she saw before he disappeared around the corner.
*****
Jace paced the deserted beach on the Puget Sound, Cailyn’s words replaying in his mind. Pure, beautiful, kind, caring Cailyn. For the past hour, he had been searching his soul for a magical taint. The problem was, that Cailyn’s words rang true, he wasn’t sure if he would recognize if Lady Angelica had done something.
He was amazed at how intelligent his mate was. She was beyond anything he ever expected. It was entirely possible that Angelica, being a sorceress of immense power, could have unknowingly placed a spell on him. It burned his ass to think of it, but he had been so young and inexperienced.
She had crushed him to the lowest he’d ever been, and he was ashamed to admit that if he hadn’t been chained, he’d have killed himself long before Zander had rescued him. He hadn’t thought of anything beyond escaping his torment. Reliving the torture, searching for something he may have missed, made his skin crawl all over.
The Goddess had blessed him with his Fated Mate, and he wanted to win her affections and claim her as his. He wanted desperately to get past the years of his shame and what had happened, rather than feeling dirty and used. He wanted more than anything to be the male she needed, but didn’t know how to get past his unworthiness.
A sparkle caught his vision and he turned to see none other than his captor, in the flesh. Fear and dread consumed him. He wanted to run and disappear, but was cemented to the sand. This female had captured and tortured him, and the sight of her made him feel vulnerable all over again. He reminded himself that this time he wasn’t without powers of his own.
“Jace, my love. How have you been?” She purred as she sauntered to his side, flanked by her goonies. Bile rose for an altogether different and valid reason.
For a brief moment he was transported back in time, and he was once again that helpless lad. He felt a pull to this vile creature, but had to fight it. Thoughts of Cailyn grounded him and gave him confidence. “You are brave to approach me. I’m not that weak, pliable youth anymore,” he ground out through gritted teeth, refusing let her see him as weak.
She ran red fingernails across his chest, making him shudder. Cailyn’s soul began clamoring and clawing to fight against Lady Angelica. “You are mine, Jace. Don’t fight it. Open up, allow me in,” she tried to coax.
He felt a foreign vibration that he would have missed if not for his mate’s suspicion. The problem was, he didn’t understand what it was, or how to fight it. “I’m not yours. I belong to my mate, and she, thankfully, is nothing like you.”
Surprise and anger flared and she dug her fingernails into his flesh. He missed her muttered words but felt her power enter his being. She tried to distract him as it fought for purchase. “Nonsense, you are mine. Your heart knows it is so.”
“No, I’m not. What do you want?” Sweat beaded his brow as he fought with all his strength and called his staff to him. He was going to be prepared for whatever this female may try. He allowed her to feel a fraction of his power.
A smile spread across her face and her nails eased. “I know the Grimoire is back. I felt its magic return. All of sorcerer kind did. This time, the power will be ours to share, and you are going to call it for me. Let’s go, I have a boat waiting to take us to my home, where you will do as I ask.”
Panic threatened, but that was not going to happen. She began walking away and his feet took a few tentative steps. He chanted spells to immobilize his feet to no avail. As he uttered a spell of protection around himself, Cailyn’s soul surged and added strength to his incantation, allowing it to fall into place. “Not this time, Angelica.”
Shocked, she whirled and glared at him. She threw several spells at him, which he was able to deflect. “I will win this, Jace. I made you who you are. Your body refuses to accept any but me.”
“My mate has changed me and I will find a way to beat you.” The truth of his words added strength. Cailyn gave him strength and courage to fight this. He was made for her, and she was made for him. He would find a way for them to be together.
“Watch out for your little mate. She is mortal, after all,” Angelica cackled.
Jace shouted his rage and withdrew one of his sgian dubhs from his boot. No one threatened his mate. As he readied to throw it into her black heart, she vanished in a puff of black smoke.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Cailyn laid her head back on the lime-green float as her sister and Jessie talked with Breslin. After Jace left, she had been more confused than ever. She felt as if she had lost control. Not once, but twice she was caught up in an erotic storm that wouldn’t be denied.
She’d had sex with Jace, despite her continuing turmoil. If she were being completely honest with herself, she was closer to that decision than she let on. There was a driving force to Jace that she was helpless to deny, and it had ridden her constantly from the moment she had first seen him. Every second she spent with Jace, she fell a little more in love with him, with their connection deepening.
The heaviness in her heart gave her one of the answers she needed. She had to let John go, regardless of the outcome with Jace. It wasn’t fair to John to give him false hope, especially since she knew things could never be the same between them after she’d had a taste of Jace. She wanted to grab Jessie and go tell John, but she remembered the folly in her previous impetuous actions.
She wasn’t a stupid woman, and wouldn’t take such risk again. It was clear that without the direct protection of the Dark Warriors, the archdemons and their minions had the power to reach her. The fact that the skirm were being instructed to kidnap women was frightening enough on its own.
She resolved to try and communicate by phone, but had been unsuccessful in reaching John either at his hotel or on his cell. He hadn’t checked out of the hotel, so she knew he was still in town. Apparently he was angry with her, not that she blamed him. He was a kind, caring man who deserved better. She sighed. She did love him, but this was for the best.
There was no denying her connection to Jace. When they were making love for the first time, she felt something click into place, and that bond had only strengthened the second time. The piece of his soul she carried had become more active every moment they were together.
Recalling the look on his face when he told her about what he suffered broke her heart. He had experienced unbearable torture and sexual abuse that would have killed anyone else. She saw that he had come out of it with a beauty and strength that he couldn’t see. He was loyal to his friends and gave of himself tirelessly. He approached challenges with confidence and determination, despite the defeat he carried in his heart. But he saw none of it.
She wanted to help him work through his pain, and discover what was causing his reaction to arousal. Of one thing she was certain, there was something prohibiting him from being intimate with any woman, and it wasn’t because he had been abused.
The picture of tiny yellow flip-flops waving in her face brought her out of her brooding. Elsie drug her to the pool for some fun after she had left Jace’s room and was holding out a cup decorated with flip-flops.
“Here, this will take your mind off things. You are looking far too serious on that float, Cai.”
She laughed at her sister’s teasing attempt to lighten the mood and grabbed the drink. “What is it?”
Elsie propped her hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side. “A Monsterita, of course. There is nothing better.”
Jessie swam to their side and joined the conversation. “The one thing I miss the most, aside from being able to talk and not cut my lip, is not being able to get shit-faced. I barely manage a buzz now. Lord knows, I
have many reasons to want to escape reality, but am I allowed to? No.”
Cailyn had been so caught up in her own drama that she had forgotten about her best friend, even though she had vowed to help adjust to her new life. She was turning out to be a crappy friend. She rolled off the float and gathered Jessie into her arms. “I’m sorry, Jess. I have been so caught up in my own issues that I’ve forgotten about you. I’d give anything to get drunk with you right now, if it’s any consolation.”
“Thank you. So what has you drinking?” Jessie asked, pulling away.
“I don’t want to talk about that. What have the scientists said?” Cailyn asked as she watched her friend drain the huge cup in record time.
Jessie smiled at her. “After donating gallons of blood for testing and doing every scan ever invented, and then some, they’ve determined that the changes to my blood, specifically my DNA, are slowing and near completion. Oh, and it looks like I will be able to continue to eat food. I can’t say how happy I am to still enjoy my burgers and fries rather than living off of blood alone.”
Cailyn was curious how her friend liked blood. Personally, the thought made her sick to her stomach. “But, you do have to drink blood, right? How is it? Do you like the taste? Elsie insists it’s wonderful, but she’s only sucked on Zander’s neck, so her opinion doesn’t count.” She laughed as Elsie shoved her. As she flew across the pool and went under, she got a first-hand demonstration of how strong her sister had become. It was a reminder that she was surrounded by super-fast, super-strong beings. She came up sputtering and laughter filled the cavernous room.
“Sorry, sis. I forget my own strength,” Elsie apologized sheepishly.
“I bet it’s easy to forget when you were a human not too long ago,” Jessie observed. “Blood is like drinking milk. I enjoy the taste and am relieved that I’m not driven by a bloodlust that causes me to kill people. I couldn’t live like that. I do have to have human blood, though. Supernatural blood makes me queasy.”