by Shirley Jump
Best just to focus on the kids. That was what Wendy would want, too, he was sure.
He opened the front door and heard Libby’s voice. He quieted his steps as he headed down the hall, trying to catch the gist of what she was saying.
“And then Kayla says that she wants to wear her pink shoes tomorrow, so I think I’m gonna wear my pink shoes, because Kayla is my best friend, and we both love pink,” Libby said, her voice rising with excitement.
“That’ll be awesome,” Katie said. “Does Kayla like playing soccer, too?”
Sam lingered against the wall, watching his daughter, her head bent over a drawing she was working on as she talked. This normal moment, missed for so long in his house, was like seeing the flowers. Bright, happy. Hopeful.
“Kayla doesn’t like soccer as much as me,” Libby said. “But she said maybe she’ll join the soccer team, if I do it, too.”
“I used to play soccer in high school.” Katie handed Libby a red crayon, then turned to Henry and slid a straw into his juice box. He climbed onto the chair beside them and started scribbling on a second coloring book. “My brother was a really great soccer player and he taught me all kinds of awesome moves.”
“He did? Can you...” Libby hesitated, then looked up at Katie. “Can you teach me them, too?”
Katie laughed. “I don’t know if I remember them, but I bet my brother does. Maybe I can have him come over tomorrow afternoon and show you. He’s a firefighter.”
That piqued Henry’s interest. “A firefighter?”
“Yup. And if it’s okay with your dad, I can take you guys down to the station and let you see the fire trucks.”
The whole exchange was so normal, so uncolored by the sadness that had hung over this house like a heavy drape. Coloring books and soccer and visits to the firehouse. Regular family stuff, the kind of thing so many people took for granted.
Until it was gone.
Sam didn’t know whether to cheer or cry. He’d wanted this...normalcy for his kids for so long. But it came attached to another woman, one he thought about way too often.
Sam pushed off from the wall and went into the kitchen. “Hey, a trip to the fire station sounds great to me. I want to go, too. As long as I get to toot the horn on the big truck.”
Katie turned toward him and smiled, the kind of smile that said she was happy to see him. “I think you are a little too old for that.”
Sam grinned. “A boy is never too old to do that, isn’t that right, Henry?”
Henry nodded, clambered down from the chair, then plowed into Sam’s legs. He held on tight, while Sam ran a hand through his son’s scraggly brown locks.
Libby stayed at the table, coloring and mostly ignoring Sam. The wall between himself and his daughter sometimes seemed impossible to scale. The moment of hopefulness began to fade.
Sam lifted the Chinese food up and away from Henry’s now reaching arms. “Hold on a second, buddy. Let me put this—”
Katie was there, taking the bag from him. She had this uncanny ability to read his mind. “Here, let me help.”
He smiled at her, then hefted his son into his arms. Henry settled against Sam’s chest like he was made for that space. “Thank you,” Sam whispered.
She smiled. “It was nothing.”
But Sam looked at his daughter, coloring a picture of a farm, and his son, who was grinning from ear to ear, and disagreed. Things weren’t perfect, but they were a sight better than they had been before. The house was clean, the kids were happy and engaged. There was an air of...hope around everything that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Sam lowered Henry to the floor. “Hey, buddy, go finish your picture for me, okay?”
Henry nodded and went back to the table. Katie was laying out the Chinese food on the counter. She added a pile of plates and silverware, then stepped back and brushed her hands together. “Well, I should go,” she said. “Same time tomorrow?”
She’d done the same thing every day this week, leaving right after he got home. He felt like he barely knew her, and wanted to get to know her. Not just as a tutor for his daughter, but as a woman. He wanted to know what it was about her that was changing his life and breathing life into the dark spaces.
It was the flowers. Those damned flowers.
Sam caught Katie’s hand as she started to pass by him. Like the first time they’d touched, an electric jolt ran through him. Her lips parted and her eyes widened, and he wondered if she’d felt the same thing. “Stay for dinner?”
She grinned. “I already eat lunch here every day after I pick Henry up from the community center. Feeding me wasn’t part of the deal.”
“Consider it a tip.” He returned her smile.
“But the kids...” She glanced over at the table, where Libby and Henry were back to coloring again.
“Surely want you to stay as much as I do.” Had he just said that out loud? To a woman other than his wife? It was for the kids, he told himself, only for the kids’ benefit. He turned toward the table. “Hey, guys, do you want Katie to stay for dinner?”
“Yes!” Libby dropped her crayon onto the page and ran over to Katie. “Can you sit next to me? I wanna sit next to you.”
Katie laughed. “Okay, okay. With an invitation like that, how can I say no?”
The four of them divvied up the Chinese food, then settled around the kitchen table. As they ate, Libby began to open up, nudged by strategic questions from Katie, about her day at school, about the decision to wear pink shoes with Kayla the next day, about the cool dog they saw at the park. Bandit sat beside the table, tail swishing against the floor, hoping for a dropped morsel.
When the take-out boxes were empty and the last crab Rangoon eaten by Henry, Sam gathered the plates and got to his feet. “You kids can either help with the dishes or—” he gave them a grin “—play in the yard.”
A half second later, both Libby and Henry had escaped to the backyard, with Bandit hot on their heels. Katie started the hot water and loaded the few plates and pieces of silverware into the sink. “That was great Chinese food. Thank you for inviting me to stay.”
“Thank you for staying.”
She laughed. “You had me at Moo Shu Pork.”
He slipped into place beside her and started drying as she washed. They fell into an easy rhythm, working together seamlessly. Wendy had always done the dishes alone, preferring the time to think, she’d said. It wasn’t until he was on his own that he’d stayed in the kitchen longer than the time it took to finish a meal. But this was nice, working beside Katie on something as simple as washing a few plates. It felt odd, but also nice. He wasn’t sure how to process that, so he didn’t. He just kept on doing the dishes.
“I can’t remember the last time we ate off of real plates,” he said, slipping the blue-rimmed dinner plate into the cabinet. “I’ve pretty much stuck to whatever was disposable and quick.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
He put a hand over hers, and that connection hit him again. “Stop apologizing. I’m glad you did it. It’s about time all of us started...living again. Like a normal family.”
She stiffened at that, and he wondered what he’d said that had caused the sudden coolness between them. Before he could ask, she had shut off the water and pulled the drain plug. “Well, that’s it. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The kids were still playing outside, with the dog chasing around them and barking. The sun was starting to ease behind the horizon, and soon it would be dark and the kids would be inside and this moment would be lost. Sam wasn’t sure if he would be better off holding on to it or letting go.
Katie was gathering her purse and getting ready to leave. Sam stood there like a fool, so new to dating again that he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it, or if he even should. She was the nanny,
after all, and it wasn’t a good idea. But she’d filled his chest with something that had been missing for a long, long time, and he wasn’t prepared to let that go just yet.
“I saw the flowers,” he said, just as she waved and started down the hall.
“The flowers? Oh, yeah.” Katie turned back. “I hope you’re not mad. I thought it would be a great project for the kids. And it’s spring and, well, flowers just go with spring and...” She grimaced. “I presumed too much. Those are your planters and I shouldn’t have just done that without asking first.”
“They’re...perfect.”
“I’m glad you like them.” She fiddled with her keys for a moment. “Well, I should go.”
“Wait. Please.” He came down the hall, where the light was dimmer and Katie’s features seemed almost iridescent. He shifted closer to her, inhaling the light floral fragrance she wore. Her eyes widened, her lips parted and the desire that had been simmering inside him for hours began nudging him forward, until a fraction of space separated them.
“I’m glad you like the flowers,” she said again, but her gaze lingered on his lips, and her body shifted ever so slightly in his direction.
“I do. Very much.” He wasn’t talking about the impatiens or geraniums or whatever the hell they were. He was talking about this woman who had come into his life and, in a handful of days, changed damned near everything. Things he wasn’t sure should be changed, but he seemed powerless to stop any of it. Maybe because deep down inside, a part of him craved this change, craved...
Her.
Sam reached up and traced the side of her cheek, along the line of her jaw, holding her gaze with his own. Something so simple, yet so intense, with her brown eyes locked on his and their breaths mingling in the small space.
Then before he could think about what he was doing, Sam leaned in and kissed Katie. A short kiss, a momentary touch, but as he began to pull back, something pushed him forward again. He cradled the back of her head, she let out a soft, sweet sound and he opened his mouth against hers.
She curved into him, with her body, with her mouth, with everything. Desire roared through Sam, not just for a woman, but for this woman, this intriguing, captivating woman. He’d been alone for so, so long. In all that time, no one had tempted him like Katie did.
There was a sound outside, a shriek of laughter from Libby, a loud bark from Bandit. Sam jerked to his senses and pulled back. What was he doing? He’d taken his focus off the kids, off the most important thing in his life. Guilt rolled through him. What about Wendy? What about her memory? Was he doing his wife a disservice by kissing another woman?
Then he saw Katie, her cheeks still flushed, and all he could think about was kissing her again. How long was he going to wait to start his life over again?
“I’m out of practice, and I know I just did all this in the wrong order, with kissing you first and...” It was like he was fourteen again and asking Mary Sue Matlin out on a date. He was nervous and stammering and a jumbled mess. “Anyway, I’d really like to ask you out. For dinner, for drinks, for...whatever.”
Hesitation flickered on her face. “I...I don’t think I should.”
“Because you’re the nanny or because you’re not interested?” He was pretty sure he’d read interest in that kiss. A whole lot of interest. Or maybe she was feeling just as conflicted as he was.
“Because...I’m complicated.” She gave him a half smile, then reached up and touched his cheek. It was a flutter of a touch, just a second, but it warmed him. The smile faltered on her face and she stepped back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam.”
Then she was gone, and Sam was left in his hall, wondering what she’d meant, and why the answer intrigued him so much.
* * *
“So, are you going to tell me?”
Katie looked up from her sandwich and grinned at her brother. They were sitting in the Good Eatin’ Café, grabbing a late night snack, a few days after she’d started working full-time for Sam. She hadn’t even been that hungry, but once she heard Colton order a grilled cheese sandwich, she couldn’t resist getting one, too. Plus, it was always good to see her brother. Grounding, in a way. “Tell you what?”
“What are you doing? Taking on a nanny job for Sam, going around with that goofy grin on your face—”
“I do not have a goofy grin on my face.”
“You do indeed. Every time I mention Sam’s name that goofy grin pops up, like a balloon in a box.”
She dropped her gaze to the plate. Was it that obvious that she was interested in Sam Millwright? Was that why he had kissed her? Why he had asked her out? Because she was as obvious as an infatuated teenager whenever he walked in the room? “I’m his children’s nanny,” Katie said, “nothing more.”
Except she was 100 percent sure kissing Sam was not in her job description. Try as she might to pretend that kiss hadn’t happened, it hung in the air every time she was at his house.
Colton had picked up on it several times during the last week when she’d seen him. He’d also latched onto the fact that she had extended her “vacation,” although she hadn’t told him the real reason why she wasn’t going back to Atlanta yet.
“Remind me again, you’re working as a nanny because...?” Colton prompted.
“Colton, this isn’t a remake of the Sound of Music. I’m not there to marry the handsome bachelor dad.” She shook her head. “Can we change the subject, please?”
“Okay, then let’s talk about...weddings.” He grinned.
She groaned. “I just told you. I’m not marrying anyone. For Pete’s sake, all I did was take a job—”
“Not you. Me. Rachel and I are planning our wedding. If you ask me, the big day can’t come soon enough. I love that woman like crazy.” Now a goofy grin spread across Colton’s face, the kind that said he was madly in love.
A flicker of envy ran through Katie. That was crazy. She didn’t need or want a relationship right now. All relationships did was bring disappointment. Colton had gotten lucky—that one-in-a-million chance of finding someone who wasn’t going to break your heart—but that didn’t mean there was another one-in-a-million out there for Katie. Best to just not get involved at all.
Even with sexy widowers who had a tender touch and a deep voice. Who also happened to be amazing kissers. Her mind wandered back to that moment in the hall, to the way he had touched her face, made her melt, then—
“I’m so happy for you,” Katie said. “Really.”
“Since there’s going to be a wedding in my near future, I wanted to ask... Are you going to be here for that?”
“Of course. You know I’d come back to Stone Gap for your wedding, even if I have to wear an ugly bridesmaid’s dress.”
Colton didn’t laugh. His face was sober, serious. “I meant stay here. Don’t go back to Atlanta. Live in Stone Gap. You already have a job, after all.”
Katie was halfway to another bite and stopped. “Stay here? I only arrived a little over a week ago. I’m on vacation, not relocating.”
“A vacation that now doesn’t have any discernible end date, a vacation where you are working as a nanny? What kind of person takes on a job when they’re on vacation?”
Someone who wants to keep too busy to think. Someone who doesn’t actually know how to unwind. Someone who is a little lost and trying to buy some time before making a decision. “Sam was desperate,” Katie said instead. “I told him I’d help him. It’s only a few hours a day and it was a temporary thing.”
“Uh-huh. You do know you’ve never been able to lie to me, right?”
“I’m not lying.”
“Then answer me this, Abe Lincoln.” He gestured toward her purse, closed and sitting on the bench seat beside her. “Your phone isn’t out on the table. You’re not checking it every half second. You’re not pausing every fi
ve minutes to call someone back or shoot off an email or anything else. You’re completely unplugged, and you are never completely unplugged. You, my sister, are a workaholic, who isn’t working.”
Katie fiddled with her silverware and finally pushed the remains of her sandwich away. “I sort of came to an agreement with my boss that I wasn’t going to work there anymore.”
“Wait. You got fired? You?”
“Not fired–fired. It was a mutual decision.” Of sorts.
He arched a brow.
“It’s a long story.” One she’d managed to avoid telling, since Colton worked long hours and was often with Rachel.
“I’ve got all night.” Colton leaned back and draped his arm over the vinyl edge of the bench. “And a running tab for decaf here.”
“Have I told you lately that you are a total pain in the ass?”
Colton checked his watch. “Uh, not in the last thirty minutes.”
That made her laugh and eased the wall in her mind. Maybe it was time to talk about everything. After all, not talking about what bothered her hadn’t helped. Bottling it all up had, in fact, led to a volcanic explosion at work. Hence the not fired–fired events and the temporary nanny job and the muddle in her mind. Not to mention that kiss with Sam. Whatever that had been and whatever that had meant.
“I don’t even know where to start,” Katie said. “Or how to explain what happened.”
Colton reached across the table and took her hand. His was bigger, stronger, more solid. The same as he had been when she’d been three and scared of monsters in the closet, and when he walked with her into every new school, and when he’d been there with a hug when her heart had been broken in tenth grade. Colton had been there every single time, with his goofy smile and his big strong hands and his patient gaze. “Just start with why you came to Stone Gap.”
“I was running away.” Tears burned her eyes and she shrugged, trying to pass it off as nothing. But the pain surged to the surface all over again, like a wave she couldn’t hold back. “I couldn’t stay there one more day and be reminded of...”