Kylie looked nervously at me. "She's visiting," I answered for her. It wasn't really my business to explain all the details of why she was there. Ronnie twisted so that she was staring at me. She was waiting for me to say more, I realized. "She needed someone to talk to about things going on at home."
"Well isn't that… cozy." Ronnie jerked herself up from the table. "Well, I'll leave you two to it, then."
"Ronnie, it's not like that. We're just talking."
"Right," she huffed.
"Nathan is dead," Kylie blurted out.
All the blood drained from Ronnie's face. Her mouth fell open but no words were coming out.
"We were having a party and he, uh," Kylie's eyes found mine. She cringed as she said the next part, "He was drunk and decided to take our dad's new car for a spin."
"He wrecked?" Ronnie's voice broke.
"At the bottom of the lake."
Ronnie's eyes found mine but they were so unfocused I wasn't sure if she was actually seeing me. I could only imagine what she was thinking. We'd met at the lake. And we'd parted after our own car accident. It was all a little too close to home for us, literally and figuratively.
"When?"
"About eight months ago."
"Eight months?" Ronnie's breath caught. "You knew all this time and didn't mention it?"
"I thought I'd tell you when we talked about our own crap." Except that had never actually happened.
Our table fell silent. I didn't want to press Ronnie about it. I still remembered how hard I had taken it. Nathan was the one who'd thrown all the parties when we were in high school—and apparently, he'd continued doing so up until his death. It was his house we'd left from the night we'd had our accident. I wouldn't have called Nathan a friend, exactly, but he was someone we'd spent a lot of time with.
"Was he alone?"
"Yeah. It was just him," Kylie answered softly.
Ronnie nodded slowly. "Good. That's good."
"I just came back here to check in. I felt so bad after Travis relapsed the last time I came so I…" Kylie's words trailed off as Ronnie's whole face fell.
I stood and reached for her but she was backing away. "Ronnie, wait."
"All that shit about being sober, about you not drinking anymore, that was just all one big lie?"
"No," I croaked. "It's the only slip-up I've had since we were eighteen." She was shaking her head at me. "I'm sober, Ronnie. I didn't lie about that."
"I have to go." She turned and fled.
"Are you gonna go after her?" Kylie asked.
"No."
"Uhm. Why not?"
I sat back down across from Kylie and took a long drink of my water.
"Travis, why aren't you going after her?"
"She's not ready to stop blaming me for everything. Until she comes to terms with that, I can chase her all I want but she'll keep finding reasons to run."
"I'm sorry I came here like this. I just needed to talk to someone who gets it. I never would have come if I'd realized it would cause problems for you."
"They're not problems you caused." I let out the sigh I'd been holding. "The problems were already there. Ronnie and I were both just doing a really good job of pretending they weren't. I guess we're really not all that different from the people back home, after all."
And that was the worst part.
Veronica
"What the hell are you doing?" Vinnie growled.
I swiped at the giant tears rolling down my cheeks. "Packing." I shoved yet another shirt into the duffle bag, only to pull it back out when I remembered it was the shirt I'd worn to the aquarium.
"I can see that. The real question is why?"
"Travis lied about being sober. He drank. With Kylie, of all people."
It was no secret to anyone that Kylie had harbored a crush on Travis for years. When I'd moved to town, everyone had harped on me about it. She was a total princess, everything I wasn't. Seeing them together irked me as much as knowing that she'd known something about him that I hadn't.
"I know."
My head nearly rolled off my shoulders I twisted so fast. "What do you mean you know?"
"Our athletic director is his sponsor. He gave me a head's up."
"Doesn't that void his contract with the team?" My heart swelled with panic.
Vinnie was quiet for too long. Finally, he asked, "Is that what you want?"
"Of course not."
"Are you sure about that? Because correct me if I'm wrong, but this scene looks awfully familiar to me."
I glanced around me. Clothes and miscellaneous other things were strewn all around the room. My duffle bag was haphazardly filled with a collection of things that didn't even make sense. The whole bag would be useless if I actually tried to take it anywhere.
The room was like a time capsule straight from my eighteen-year-old bedroom. It was in the hospital after the accident when I'd found out I was pregnant with Stella. I'd been avoiding Travis because of the accident and the pregnancy. Between the painkillers for my arm and the guilt I'd had about drinking before I'd known I was pregnant, it was days later before everything had sunk in. In a panic, I'd begged Vinnie to take me away to anywhere but there.
I'd chosen to run away instead of facing the problems head-on.
A few weeks later, our family had relocated to Kentucky. I changed my phone number, shut down my social media accounts, and even got a new e-mail address. I became virtually untraceable. Then, about a year later, I'd taken my infant daughter and followed Vinnie to his new job in North Carolina.
Once I'd started running, I'd never stopped.
"I hope that look on your face means you're rethinking all of this." He gestured in the general direction of my bag. "Because I hate to tell you this, but I can't help you run from your problems this time."
"Ugh." I buried my face in my hands.
"I think some of this is my fault. I should never have babied you so much."
"You didn't baby me," I protested, my head rising.
He laughed at me. Literally laughed. "Hell yeah I did, Ronnie." He stepped further into the room so that he could close the door behind him.
"Look," he lowered his voice, "All I wanted to do was protect you. You were so vulnerable after the car accident, and at the time we all agreed that taking you away like you wanted was the best option. I had my doubts over the years, but then you panicked all over again when Travis turned up here."
"I was just surprised."
"I know that now. But at the time, it seemed like maybe I needed to work overtime to protect you again. I think that was a mistake. I haven't forced you to face your own problems. I think you need to do that."
"I think you're right," I whispered. "Vinnie…"
"Yeah?"
"I was the one that suggested we leave the party."
"What?"
I took a deep, shuddering breath. I needed to finally say it out loud.
"Travis had already gone upstairs to sleep in one of the empty bedrooms. Nathan—he was the guy that always hosted those parties—started hitting on me. He was being a real asshole, and the more he acted like a jerk the more I kept drinking to put up with him. Finally, I'd had enough, and I went to find Travis. I woke him up. I begged him to drive us home. He didn't want to do it, but I kept asking until he gave in."
"Fuck, Ronnie."
I buried my head again. I couldn't bear to look at the disappointment that I was sure would be all over my brother's face. All the times we'd rehashed what had happened, never once had I mentioned the role I'd played. Over time, I'd managed to convince even myself that the blame laid squarely on Travis' shoulders.
"I really messed up, Vin."
"God, I wish you had told me. I would have dealt with all of this so differently if I'd known that."
"I'm sorry."
"Dammit, Ronnie. We kept him from his own kid. When all along you should have been shouldering just as much of the blame as he was."
I chanced a glance up but immediately
regretted it. There was so much anguish in his expression. I'd pulled the rug out from under him. He'd uprooted his whole life for me, including leaving a coaching job with a high school team that he'd really loved.
"Vin, I'm sorry," I tried again.
"You're gonna have to give me some time to digest all of this. You're basically telling me the story I knew was a lie. We based so many decisions on what the rest of us thought had happened, and now you're saying that was never the whole story. I just… I'm gonna go by work for a little while. I'll see you later." He turned and pulled the door open with an eery calmness.
"Wait," I stopped him. He did pause but didn't look at me. "You never answered me about what Travis' relapse means for the team."
"Our athletic director went to bat for him. He really believes it was a one-time thing. Travis isn't going anywhere."
"Good," I said, but by then I was talking to an empty room.
Veronica
My ears perked up at the sound of voices in the hallway. There were two things strange about it. For one, Gabby hadn't come near my room in days, not since I'd made my confession to Vinnie. They'd both been keeping their distance. Secondly, both voices were distinctly female. When a soft knock landed on my door, I shot up in the bed.
"Yeah?" I called out timidly.
Part of me wished it would just be Stella, but I knew it wasn't. Gabby had exchanged a few texts with me that morning to arrange for Stella to spend the day with Travis. It hurt my heart to know that he'd reached out to Gabby but not to me.
"Someone's here to talk to you," Gabby said through the door.
"Come on in." I finger-combed my hair quickly. Had Travis shown up to talk after all?
"Hi, Veronica." Laurel stepped into the bedroom alone.
I felt a little dumbstruck. The few times I'd talked to Laurel alone, it had been about Kelley's art program. She'd helped pull some strings to let me sit in on the art class Travis was modeling for. Afterward, she'd followed up with a heavy-handed hint about the enrollment period for fall classes still being open. That had been nice of her, but we hadn't talked since.
"What are you doing here?" I cringed at the defensiveness in my own voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way."
"That's okay. Can I sit?" she asked, gesturing at the end of the bed.
"Oh. Sure."
I scooted back so that there was plenty of room for her. I was expecting her to find some ladylike wait to perch on the edge, so it surprised me when she plopped right down and casually made herself comfortable, even going so far as to cross her legs up on the bed.
"Is it totally weird that I'm here?" Laurel asked. Her lips twisted up into a nervous smile.
"A little," I admitted.
"I figured, but I hope that you'll hear me out."
"Of course." After embarrassing her at the barbecue and then asking her for the art class favor, the least I could do was hear her out. Even if she was only there to chew me out.
Laurel pulled her phone out of the small clutch she had with her. She fumbled with it for a moment before turning the screen to face me. There was a picture of Travis and Stella pulled up. The two of them were on the floor with crayons and pages pulled out of what looked to be princess coloring books. Travis looked completely at ease as he concentrated on his picture of Cinderella. Stella was happily coloring only the sections outside of the lines on her own sheet. She looked cute as hell.
"Is this from today?" I took the phone from her so I could look at the photo up close.
"Yeah. I figured you probably weren't checking in with each other, so I thought seeing what they were up to might ease your mommy-mind. It can't be easy handing her over to him when things between you all are obviously not on solid ground right now."
I handed her phone back to her. "How much do you know?"
"Not everything, but I managed to wrestle a lot of it out of Travis. He's pretty torn up."
"He's not drinking is he?" I'd never be able to live with myself if I caused him to relapse.
"Not as far as I know. I think he's been going to meetings the last few days. They have a group on campus."
I remembered what Vinnie had said about Travis' sponsor being the school's athletic director. It was an interesting dynamic to picture. Travis had always endeared himself to sports people, though. They liked the way he dedicated himself to the game and to his team.
"He hasn't called," I told her, though I was pretty sure she already knew.
"I think he's just trying to give you space."
"I can't blame him much for that. The last time I freaked out on him I ended up disappearing for years. He's probably scared I'll run again."
Laurel shrugged lightly, but the nervous way she fingered the pearls around her neck made me believe I was on to something. It wasn't a hard leap to make. If the tables were reversed, I would have been freaking out about that exact thing.
"I don't know how to fix it."
"Talking to him would be a good start."
I sighed and let myself fall over in the bed. "You make it sound so easy," I grumbled.
"Well, I know it's not. Which is why I figured it was about time I showed up. Think of me as your new fairy godmother, because I'm about to help the two of you get your shit together. And then when that's taken care of, I'm gonna convince you to join Kelley's art program."
"What's in it for you?" I couldn't help still feeling a little suspicious of her. It was a leftover resentment from the days of catty girls in designer outfits. But at least I was working on that.
"Honestly? I could use a little good karma. I've made a bit of a mess out of my own life these last couple months. Sending some good vibes into the universe surely can't hurt." She paused for a second. "Plus, I just think Travis is a good guy. He should get his happy ending."
"I agree." Her words had definitely softened me. "You're a lot nicer than I expected you to be," I admitted.
Her answering smile was warm. "You wouldn't have thought that if you met me pre-graduation. I was sort of a monster. But hey, we're all capable of becoming the best versions of ourselves, right?"
"That sounds like something you'd hear at a self-help seminar."
"Nah. More like from a professor who happens to read a lot of self-help books."
"Okay, remind me to ask more about that later. But first, let's hear what you've got planned." I wasn't so sure about a fairy godmother, but I sure as hell was gonna need a little magic to finally set things right, once and for all.
Travis
I was more than a little agitated to have John summoning me to the football stadium so late in the day. The one benefit of not being on speaking terms with Ronnie was that I'd managed to earn myself an entire day with Stella all on my own. I spent most of the day still wishing that Ronnie was there with us, but I'd also relished the chance to fully try on parenthood for the first time.
Luckily, Laurel had pitched in. When I'd called to tell her I had no idea how to entertain a two-year-old, she'd shown up with a gift basket full of activities for us. It was a little too nice to have been put together on the spot, so I had a feeling she'd been preparing for a moment like that. Laurel had a major soft spot for Stella. It still surprised me that she was so into kids.
"What's that?" Stella asked, pointing to the building in front of us.
"That's daddy's home."
Her eyes widened. "You live there?"
"For a good portion of the year, I kinda do." I laughed as her eyes widened even more as we closed in on the building.
Growing up with Vinnie, I was sure she'd seen football fields before. It seemed that a college stadium, though, was a first. I liked knowing I was sharing that with her.
"Mommy coming, too?" she asked.
She'd been asking that all day, and each time the innocent question pained me a little more.
"No, baby, not this time."
Just as John had said, the side door to the stadium had been left propped open for me. I shifted Stella i
n my arms so that I could pull it open for us. Inside, the lights were dimmer than I was used to. I used mostly muscle memory to get from there to the tunnel leading out to the field.
"Down," Stella requested.
There was nowhere for her to go but forward, so I obliged her. The second her little feet hit the ground she took off at her fastest sprint. I kept up easily with her at my normal pace, her little legs moving several times to make up for each of my single steps. We burst out of the tunnel side-by-side.
My brain kicked into overdrive to make sense of what I was seeing. A giant inflatable screen had been set up on the sidelines of the field. An oversized blanket was spread out over the grass in front of it. An actual picnic basket sat next to the blanket. I looked beside me to Stella, only to find Ronnie standing there with the little girl in her arms. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip the same way they had when she's joined my art class.
"Ronnie? What is all this?"
Her voice wobbled as she spoke. "A little over three years ago, we were trying to figure out how to spend our Friday night. There happened to be a screening of A Streetcar Named Desire showing in the park. Neither of us were all that into the idea of watching a black and white movie, but we figured it would be a good place to spread out a sheet and…cuddle."
I smirked at her word choice. I knew she was saying, "cuddle" for Stella's benefit. The truth was that we'd spent the length of the movie kissing like our lives depended on it. There was a pretty healthy amount of groping that had gone on, too.
"Afterward, we parked your car down by the lake and…" I filled in the blank she'd left. We'd had sex. "And the…" Condom. "Ended up breaking."
I still vividly remembered the way we'd momentarily panicked but then ultimately laughed it off. We'd never imagined anything would come of it. We'd felt invincible together.
Finally, I realized where her story was headed.
"That's why you named her Stella."
"Labor sucked. I was so drugged up that when they handed me that little baby all wrapped up, I kept replaying in my head that scene from the movie where the dude is yelling 'Stella!' I didn't even realize I'd started calling our baby that until my mom pointed it out."
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