by Jane Angwin
During the next few days, Elizabeth observed Mr. Collins silently eyeing each of her sisters, and she felt his eyes on her as well. His presence at Longbourn was distressing to everyone, except to Mrs. Bennett who was delighted that her future was secure. When they walked to Meryton, he followed along, dispensing pious words about the proper behavior of young women. When they sat in the drawing room, he lectured on the importance of virtue. When they gathered for meals, he preached to them about the necessity for ladies to have impeccable manners and that women should always obey their husbands. Mr. Bennett sat listening to these sermons with obvious glee. He enjoyed nothing more than watching this dim-witted man make a fool of himself. He exchanged looks with Elizabeth every time Collins spewed some ridiculous statement, and Lydia and Kitty frequently giggled at him. Oddly, he had no idea that any of this was due to him. The only people that even tried to converse with him were Mary, who made it very clear to him that she had the same pious views, and Mrs. Bennett who continually boasted about each of her daughters, declaring them all to be well-mannered, virtuous, and demure young ladies.
Every second day, the Bennetts welcomed a short visit from their new neighbor, Mr. Bingley and his friend, Mr. Darcy. Bingley would claim to be out enjoying the countryside and had just decided to stop in to say hello to his closest neighbors, but it was clear that he wanted to see Jane. They would sit quietly in the drawing room with one or two of her sisters as chaperones, exchanging pleasantries and making small talk. Elizabeth knew that Mr. Bingley was quite interested in Jane, but Jane refused to acknowledge his attention was just for her. Elizabeth felt it was going to be just a matter of time before Jane was approached by the horrid Mr. Collins, and it was imperative that something had to happen soon between her sister and Charles Bingley.
On each of their visits, Mr. Darcy acted exactly as he had at the dinner at Netherfield. There was no smile, no conversation, and he once again walked to the corner of the drawing room and stood silently at the window looking out at the large apple tree and rope swing. The kind Mr. Darcy that Elizabeth had met at the stream was nowhere to be seen. The cold, arrogant Mr. Darcy stood in his place. She did, however, sense that he was watching her in the reflection of the glass, and she glanced over at him several times to see if her feeling was accurate. Each time, their eyes would lock, and she experienced that same jolt of something strange coursing through her body. He made no attempt to look away, and she wondered what it meant. Was he finding fault with her? Or was he favoring her? She could not imagine the latter, but something was happening, and his presence was bewildering. She had never been affected by anyone like this before, and she could not identify what it was she was feeling. He was indeed handsome, and when he was alone with her, completely charming, but this odd behavior was puzzling.
Thus far, the two gentlemen had missed meeting Mr. Collins during their visits, as he was either napping or visiting with the townsfolk, much to the dismay of the neighborhood. On this particular afternoon as they were having tea, Mr. Collins entered the room, quite out of breath from walking from the village. "Oh, gracious me! I did not know that we have company," he gushed. Elizabeth noted with disgust that he said "we." He bowed to Mr. Bingley and introduced himself, which was highly improper. The proper protocol was to have someone familiar to you introduce you to a new acquaintance, but he apparently did not know the proper rules of etiquette. He then walked to Mr. Darcy, but desperately wanting to avoid a second faux pas, Elizabeth quickly moved toward them and intervened, saying "Mr. Darcy, may I introduce our cousin, Mr. William Collins. He is here visiting from Kent."
Collins was in the middle of one of his dramatic bows, when he belatedly comprehended the name of the gentleman he had just been introduced to, and he quickly stood up stammering, "Oh, Mr. Darcy! It is indeed such an honor to make your acquaintance! What a delightful coincidence this is! I have the great honor of being the parson for your esteemed Aunt, Lady Catherine De Bourg of Rosings! I must respectfully inform you that your Aunt and your lovely fiancée Anne were in good health when I last saw them at Rosings. It was your wise Aunt who personally counseled me to visit with my cousin and his lovely family."
The revelation that Mr. Darcy was engaged to the daughter of Mr. Collins' benefactress was quite a surprise to Elizabeth, and she felt a strange moment of disappointment. Not understanding this odd feeling, she quickly regained her unexpected emotion, and looked down at her shoes, hoping her reaction wasn't noticed.
Darcy glared at Collins, realizing that this ridiculous person was the very type of man his Aunt would employ to serve her - a toady sycophant who would do her bidding. He was also livid at this idiotic man for the untruth he declared to this family that his cousin Anne was his fiancée. He barely nodded his head, but he did not verbally respond to Collins. When he realized that this was the man that had come to Longbourn to choose one of Thomas Bennett's daughters, he felt a wave of fear for Elizabeth and her eldest sister, Jane. He was aware of Bingley's interest in Jane, but at this point, Jane had not given him enough encouragement to pursue a courtship, leaving her available to Collins. He was also worried that should Collins choose Elizabeth to marry, she would live a life of misery. She had said that she would refuse his proposal, but he could not be sure Mrs. Bennett would allow her refusal. His only hope was that Thomas Bennett would not allow such insanity. He could not imagine him permitting Collins to marry any of his daughters, let alone Jane or Elizabeth, who were obviously his favorites. Such an arrangement would be a travesty. He also realized that the thought of her being with another man beside himself greatly disturbed him. "What is happening to me?" he thought. "How can I have these feelings for someone who I have just met and who is totally unsuitable for me?"
The rest of the visit was a blur to Darcy. He finally knew that it was time to warn Bingley about the possibility of what could happen to Jane if he didn't express his feelings to her and learn of her feelings in return. He also knew that he had to speak to Mr. Bennett about his tyrannical aunt who Collins was bound to and what a fiasco this could be for all of them. His Aunt Catherine was a despot, and she would make the life of Collins' wife and her family a Hell on earth. Darcy caught Bingley's eye and nodded his head toward the door, indicating that it was time for them to depart. After more deep bows from Collins and curtsies from the ladies, they moved to leave. Mrs. Bennett invited them to return for dinner the following night, and Bingley accepted. As they rode away, Darcy filled him in on the situation at hand and Bingley, who was staggered by the news, declared his intention to speak to Jane at dinner the following night.
Bright and early on the next morning, Mr. Collins and Mrs. Bennett were behind closed doors in the sitting room, and Elizabeth knew that they were discussing his appraisal of her daughters. She had wanted to speak to her mother before she talked to Collins, but it was too late. If he chose Jane, as she felt sure he would, she knew that her mother would allow him to meet with her, and it was imperative that Jane turn him down. She ran back up the stairs to find Jane and knocked on her door. When she didn't hear anything, she slowly opened the door and found her sister sitting on her bed crying. "Jane! Whatever is wrong? What has happened?" She walked to the bed and sat down next to her, putting her arm around her sister to try to console her. "Please Sister, tell me what troubles you."
"Oh, Lizzy, I am sorry for my tears. I am just so afraid. Mother is meeting with Mr. Collins today, and I am quite worried that he might choose me to marry. I know that I will have to say yes to answer our mother's prayers and to keep Longbourn in our family, but I was so hopeful that Mr. Bingley might want to further our friendship into something more. He is everything a gentleman should be, and I like him so very much. What should I do?"
"I too am worried about that, Jane. I cannot believe that our mother would force you into such a horrible situation with that terrible man, but I'm afraid her desire to stay in her home has clouded her vision, even at the risk of sacrificing you. It is unforgivable, but remember, Papa has
vowed that he would not agree to any of us marrying Collins against our will, so the only problem we have is if Mother makes Collins a promise, and you have to deny him. She will be furious, but you must say no! There is no way you could live with Mr. Collins, and we have to devise another plan. Perhaps Mary might be interested in him. Should we ask her?"
"Oh, Lizzy, she might agree, but what if he does not want to marry Mary. You did not see his reaction to her when he was introduced to her. He did not give her even a side glance because you were following right behind her, and he was quite distracted by you. What should we do?"
"We will think of something, Jane. If only we could learn what Mr. Bingley's thoughts and feelings are toward you. I see how he watches you when he visits us here. He never takes his eyes off of you, and there is no doubt in my mind that he would like to pursue a courtship with you. The only problem is that you are very reticent in general, and you have not given him any indication of your interest. We have to do something quickly to let him know how you feel about him." She sat quietly for a moment and said "In the meantime, you must not allow yourself to be alone with Mr. Collins. I suggest you declare that you are not feeling well today and stay in your room. That will give us another day to figure out what to do."
"Thank you, Lizzy. I do not like to be dishonest, but I will do as you suggest. I know that this is not a kind thing to say, but I really do feel quite ill just thinking about being Mr. Collins' wife."
"Oh my gracious, Jane! I am delighted to hear you express disparaging thoughts about him. You are usually so kind and never say a negative thing about anything or anyone!" The sisters hugged each other, and Elizabeth stood to leave. "I will tell Mother that you are not well, and I will have Mrs. Hill bring some breakfast to your room."
Elizabeth went downstairs to the kitchen to arrange for Jane's meal to be delivered, but at that moment, her Mother was exiting the room with Mr. Collins, and she stopped to give her the news about Jane not feeling well. "Yes, yes, Lizzy, that is quite unfortunate. I will take breakfast to her room immediately, but Mr. Collins would like to have a word with you, so please accompany him to the drawing room."
Elizabeth was so stunned at her mother's words that she stood frozen in front of her and made no move to do as she said. It suddenly occurred to her that Mr. Collins had chosen her instead of Jane, and she was completely caught off guard. Her mother pushed her toward the door to the drawing room, and Mr. Collins shuffled behind them. As soon as they had entered the room, Mrs. Bennett partially shut the door, keeping it open a crack as was proper, but more likely to allow her to eavesdrop in the hall. Elizabeth turned and stared at the ridiculous man who was sweating profusely. Collins bowed to her and then took out his handkerchief and began wiping the perspiration dripping from his brow. "What is it you wish to say to me, Mr. Collins. I cannot imagine there is anything that we have to converse about."
"Why yes, Miss Elizabeth, I do believe we have a most important subject to discuss. Would you care to be seated?" he asked.
"No, Sir. I believe I will remain standing. I have planned a walk this morning, and I am sure our conversation will be brief."
Collins cleared his throat and began. "Well, my dear Miss Elizabeth, my journey from Kent to Longbourn was for much more than just a pleasant visit. My noble and generous patroness, Lady Catherine De Bourg, has advised me that it is time that I marry. I am most fortunate to be her parson and close confidant, and she feels that it would improve my reputation to be a married man. She also generously feels that because of the entail on Longbourn, it would be most prudent to travel here to choose one of Mr. Bennett's daughters as my wife. I always adhere to her brilliant counsel, and that is why I have come." He blew his nose and again wiped the sweat off his face, using the same handkerchief, making Elizabeth grimace. "In the short time that I have visited with you and your family, I have come to admire your beauty and charm, and although your older sister, Jane, was my first choice, your mother has advised me that Mr. Bingley will soon be asking for her hand, so I have decided to honor you with my offer of marriage. Your mother has this very morning given her permission for me to make this offer to you." He wiped his face again, dropped to one knee and reached for her hand, which she put behind her back. "Miss Elizabeth, I truly feel that you are indeed the love of my life, and I am now asking for your hand in marriage." Elizabeth could not believe the words that were being spoken by this hideous man, but before she could respond, he continued, "I know that you must be feeling many joyful emotions, and so let us go and inform your family about our wonderful news!"
Elizabeth felt her whole body shaking in anger, seething at his words. "Are you quite finished, Mr. Collins? May I speak now?"
"Yes, by all means, my dear, I am sure that you are quite pleased with my offer, and now that we have come to an understanding, I can now return to Rosings to inform Lady De Bourg about our pending nuptials! I am certain that Lady De Bourg will be quite delighted with my choice, but I have noticed your somewhat pertinent behavior at times, and unfortunately this will never do as a parson's wife. There will be many changes you must make, and Lady Catherine will guide you on how to be more restrained, modest, and obedient," and with a lascivious grin, he added "and on the intimacies of marriage." He struggled to stand up and lost his balance. He had to hold on to the chair next to him to pull himself up.
Elizabeth was sickened by his assumption that she had agreed to his ridiculous proposal, and she clenched her fists and moved a little closer to him. "Mr. Collins, please let me speak to you without being interrupted. I have many things I wish to say to you, and I do not wish to hear a word from you until I am quite finished." She glared at him and he nodded. "I am appalled at your mistaken impression that you think that I would be honored by your insulting proposal of marriage. You have only been a visitor at Longbourn for several days, and you have the audacity to declare that I am the love of your life even though I was not even your first choice!" She rudely pointed her finger at him, not caring that it was highly inappropriate, but she didn't care. "How dare you, Sir! You are rude, arrogant and quite frankly, the last man on earth that I would consider marrying! You know absolutely nothing about me, Mr. Collins. I can assure you, that I am most definitely not the woman you would want to be your wife. I will not now - and never will be modest, restrained, or God forbid, an obedient wife to you or to anyone, and I will most certainly not be guided by your illustrious patroness, whoever she is! You claim to be quite sure that I will be pleased with your offer of marriage, Mr. Collins, but you are incorrect. I have not agreed to your proposal, and I never, ever will. Now, please excuse me." She turned away from him and headed to the door but before she could leave the room as she intended, Elizabeth heard a loud shriek in the hallway, and her mother burst into the room.
"Elizabeth! You impertinent child! You must apologize to Mr. Collins this very minute! I insist that you accept Mr. Collins! You must save me and your sisters!" She plopped down on the settee and dramatically held her hands over her heart. "You ungrateful girl! If you do not accept Mr. Collins, I will never speak to you again!"
"What is all this commotion," Mr. Bennett said as he walked down the hall and entered the room. "They can hear you in Meryton, Mrs. Bennett!" Elizabeth ran past him, fleeing out the front door and into the garden where she ran to her rope swing, pumping her legs, swinging higher and higher. She was shaking all over, and she knew not whether to laugh or cry. This was inconceivable.
"Oh, Mr. Bennett, you must do something! Mr. Collins has made Elizabeth an offer of marriage, and she has turned him down! You have to tell her that she must marry him for the sake of our family!" She dragged him by the arm out the front door, leaving Mr. Collins sputtering in the house and she pulled her husband across the yard to where Elizabeth was swinging almost as high as the branches. "Elizabeth! Stop that dangerous swinging this minute! Your father has something to tell you! Come down here! Elizabeth Bennett, come down now!"
Elizabeth stopped pumping her legs
to slow her swinging and finally came to a stop at her mother's feet, not looking at her. "What is it, Papa?" She could only hope that her father had not decided to side with her mother after all.
"Elizabeth", he began, "your mother informs me that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage and you have turned him down. Is this true?"
"Yes, Papa, I did decline his offer. He is ridiculous, and I would rather never marry at all than marry such an odious man."
"Go ahead, Mr. Bennett. Tell her she must marry Mr. Collins," Mrs. Bennett sobbed. "It is her obligation to save Longbourn and her mother!"
Elizabeth looked at her father, dreading the fact that he might have changed his mind and would make her accept the parson's offer. "Well, Lizzy. It is definitely true that marrying Mr. Collins would solve your mother's concerns about keeping Longbourn in the family when I die, and she would be saved from ruination. It is also true that your mother will never speak to you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins." He paused, and Elizabeth held her breath. "However, my dear, I'm afraid you have quite a dilemma, because I refuse to allow you to marry Mr. Collins! You must choose who to disappoint." He turned to his wife and said, "I am terribly sorry, Mrs. Bennett, but that ridiculous man will not marry any of my daughters."
Mrs. Bennett gasped and shrieked so loudly that Mrs. Hill came running outside to see what had happened. "Oh, Mr. Bennett! You cannot mean that! Whatever will I do? We are ruined! Oh, my poor nerves!"
Elizabeth jumped off her swing and threw her arms around her father's neck. "Oh, thank you Papa! I knew you would not make me marry him!" She ran back into the house to find her sisters to walk into Meryton to avoid Mr. Collins and the inevitable rage of her mother. She would leave her father to deal with her mother, knowing that only he could plead her case for her. She knew that there would be many days of listening to her mother's wailing and crying and Mrs. Hill supplying her with many bottles of undiluted port.