by Jane Angwin
Elizabeth felt shivers run down her back at this dire information, and she felt that he was being quite earnest with his warning. "What has he done to others, Mr. Darcy?" she quietly asked. "I fear that my youngest sister Lydia has already become entranced with his uniform and his handsome face, and she has flirted with him in a most improper manner. Sadly, my mother has allowed both Lydia and Kitty to be quite silly and wild, and I am certain that she will not listen to me if I tell her to stay away from him with no further details or proof. The only thing I can do is to inform my father right away of your concerns, but it would be a great service to me if you could share what you know with him."
Darcy desperately wanted to tell her everything, but he could not betray Georgiana's secret. "I have already done so, Miss Elizabeth. When I saw Wickham standing with your group this morning, and then when Bingley told me that he had flirted with your youngest sister and had come much too close to you to whisper God-knows-what in your ear, I truly seethed inside. I immediately rode to Longbourn for an audience with your father. He had to know about this miscreant before it is too late."
"I thank you, Mr. Darcy. I am sure he will give your account more credence than one from me, as I am always trying to convince him to curtail my younger sisters' behavior in public. Unfortunately he does not take a great interest in the comings and goings of his daughters, and I fear that he does not realize the perilous possibilities. He is a wonderful man, and I love him dearly, but he much prefers the solitude of his library and his brandy to the trials and tribulations of five boisterous daughters and a very frenzied home."
"Miss Elizabeth, I am gratified that you have listened to my words and might give my warning some weight. You really do not know me any better than Mr. Wickham, but I can assure you there is much more to the story that I cannot relate to you without betraying someone close to me."
Elizabeth wondered if something had happened to his fiancée, Miss De Bourg, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. She could easily see the anguish and depth of his feelings for whomever the woman was, and she felt a sudden flicker of envy that he cared for someone that deeply. She wondered what it would be like to have a man like this care for her. She also now believed that Wickham was wrong about him. He truly was an honorable man.
Not seeing Jane and Bingley anywhere, Darcy extended his elbow out once again to invite her to hold his arm while they resumed walking, and Elizabeth timidly accepted. She took a step forward to begin their walk again, but Darcy stood firm, once again feeling a slight brush of air go past his face and the all too familiar scent of lavender filling his nose. When Elizabeth stopped and turned to look at him, they exchanged a look that lasted for what felt to her like forever. She became uncomfortable, as it felt as if Darcy was staring deep into her soul, and if she didn't know better, she could almost believe that he had feelings for her. Knowing that it was impossible to wish for such a thing, she looked away, but that brief moment was quite powerful. "Do you wish to tell me something further, Mr. Darcy?" she inquired.
Darcy was jolted by the moment as well, as the familiar scent of lavender was stronger than ever before, and he felt that this was the sign that he had been waiting for. "I apologize, Miss Elizabeth. I am just overcome with the lovely lavender scent you are wearing today. It is the same scent that my mother always wore, and it felt as though she was right here with us."
"I would love to be able to say it is my cologne you detect Mr. Darcy, but I am not wearing any today. I must admit that lavender is my favorite scent, but at present, I do not have any to wear." She looked up at him again, somewhat puzzled by his comment. "And we do not have any lavender flowers growing near Longbourn either, so perhaps it is something else?"
Darcy desperately wanted to tell Elizabeth the entire strange story about the lit candles in places at Pemberley where no one could have been and the strange breezes he often felt waft across his face with the distinct scent of lavender, no matter where he was. He wanted to tell her about the portrait he had painted of a beautiful woman he had never met and the shock of discovering the exact house, the swing with the open book, and then, most startling of all, seeing her - the exact same woman he had painted from his own imagination. He knew that if he told her, she would undoubtedly think he had lost his mind, but he had to find the right words to convince her that this was all real. He also now knew that he was totally lost and falling in love with her, and he knew that his mother had brought him to this place - and to Elizabeth. She was the woman that was meant for him, and it didn't matter what anyone else thought or would say to him in the future. There was no doubt in his mind, and he felt a sense of peace and joy wash over him at long last.
While he worked his courage to begin the tale, Jane and Bingley appeared from around the side of the garden, and the opportunity was gone. Their wide smiles and adoring gazes at each other made it clear that theirs was a deepening relationship, and Darcy knew that his words to Elizabeth must wait. Jane blushed profusely when she saw Elizabeth, and realized that she had been alone with Mr. Bingley for much too long, but Elizabeth gave her a smile and a nod of approval, and the unspoken communication between the two sisters very much gratified Jane.
Chapter Twenty Seven
A surprise proposal
As the foursome returned to the house to prepare for dinner, Elizabeth toyed with the idea of informing the gentlemen about her refusal of Mr. Collins' proposal in the morning, but she couldn't find the proper words. She dreaded hearing her mother's tirade, and she knew that it would be no secret at the dinner table. She was hopeful that her father had forced Mr. Collins to leave as he had promised, but upon entering the house, there he was, sitting quite close to her sister Mary on the sofa in the front room, and her mother fluttering about the room exclaiming her "absolute joy at the good news."
"Oh, Mr. Collins! You have made me such a happy woman! My daughter Mary will be the perfect wife for you! What an honor to welcome you into our family!" Mary's cheeks turned bright red, and she looked quite uncomfortable at the attention she was receiving when she realized that newcomers had come into the room. Mrs. Bennett had not noticed them, however, and she exclaimed in her loudest voice, "How fortunate that my ungrateful daughter Elizabeth refused you first, so that you can wed my favorite daughter of all!" She bent over Mary and gave her a kiss on her cheek, and Mary looked like she would faint. Her mother had never paid much attention to her, and it was probably the first time her mother had kissed her since she was an infant.
Mrs. Bennett turned and saw the group standing in the entry, and in a shrill voice she screeched "Oh my Lord! Jane! Mr. Bingley! I have such wonderful news! We are saved!" Elizabeth knew why she was being ignored, but she was infuriated that her mother had slighted Mr. Darcy in the same way. "Mr. Collins has made an offer to my dear Mary, and she has accepted his proposal! I knew that her many charms would someday be appreciated by a well-deserving man! And to live on a huge estate in Kent! I think I might swoon." She fluttered past them and screamed for Mrs. Hill. "Hill! Where are you? I must have my medicine for my nerves! Hill! Where are you?" She clattered up the stairs to no doubt locate the bottle of port hidden under her bed.
With Mrs. Bennett gone, Mr. Collins took up her harangue by extolling his undying love for "his Miss Mary", and expressing his happiness at finding the true love of his life. Mary had the look of a frightened child, and Jane went to her and hugged her tightly. She quietly asked, "What is this, Mary? Is this true? Are you to marry Mr. Collins?"
Not allowing Mary to speak, Collins replied, "Yes, Miss Bennett, she has indeed accepted my proposal of marriage. We are deeply in love, and we shall be married in two months time after I have returned to Kent and informed my esteemed patroness about my success in finding the perfect wife!" He bent to kiss Mary, but she turned her face away from him, and he kissed her ear instead.
Obviously uncomfortable with his improper advances, Mary said "Please, Mr. Collins. I have only just become better acquainted with you today, and I am no
t at all comfortable with your intimacies!" She moved over a little on the sofa, and smoothed out her hair that he had mussed.
Elizabeth stood stunned at this revelation. "How on earth did this happen, Mary? I had no idea that you and Mr. Collins had even spoken to each other before today! Please enlighten me!" Elizabeth turned to the men and apologized for this strange scene. "Please forgive me, gentlemen. I'm afraid that I am utterly astonished by this turn of events!"
Darcy had heard Mrs. Bennett's tactless remark about Mary being Collins's second choice after asking Elizabeth to marry him, and he was stunned by this information. Why had Collins not asked for Jane's hand in marriage? And if he had asked Elizabeth just this morning, how could he then ask her younger sister right away and declare his deep affection for her? At once he felt great relief at the sequence of events, but how could Miss Mary accept this buffoon's ridiculous offer?
As if reading his mind, Elizabeth asked Mary how she could so readily accept this proposal knowing that he had offered for herself earlier in the day. "What are you thinking, Mary? Is this what you want or are you simply giving in to our mother to save Longbourn from the entail?"
Mary looked up at her sister and firmly answered, "I know that Mr. Collins wanted to marry Jane at first, Lizzy, and I also know that mother told him she is already spoken for, so he then chose you." Jane blushed at the reference of being spoken for, and Mr. Bingley's face fell, wondering who had already asked for her hand. Jane looked at him and slightly shook her head to give him some relief, but he appeared quite distraught. Mary continued, "I am well aware that Mr. Collins could not possibly love me in the way he claims to, but you must understand that I have always known that I would undoubtedly have no prospects for marriage here in Meryton, and I feared that I would remain at Longbourn until our father dies, never seeing anything other than Hertfordshire. I am quite content knowing that I will be able to have my own home in a new place, and that I can help Mr. Collins to build his church and take care of his parishioners. There is nothing here for me, Lizzy. Surely you can understand that."
There was total silence in the room while everyone digested her words. It had actually made great sense to Elizabeth when Mary explained it in that way, and she began to feel a deep sadness, but also a certain sense of understanding for her middle sister. "Yes, Mary, I can certainly understand that. I am just quite taken by surprise with this astonishing news! I must wish you and Mr. Collins joy." She went to her sister and hugged her, but she ignored the silly man seated next to her. "Did our father agree to this new revelation, Mary? Has he given you his blessings?" she asked. She had heard her father say many times that he would never allow any of his daughters to marry this odious person, but perhaps he also understood Mary's feelings.
"Yes, sister, he did give us his permission. Mr. Collins went to him, and although he did not agree at first, after requesting a private audience with me, I explained my thoughts to him, and he also finally understood my reasons as you now do." Mr. Collins sat on the sofa, looking as proud as a peacock, completely proud of himself for his choice, not acknowledging to himself or anyone else for that matter that Mary had been his third choice in one day. Elizabeth thought there could not be a more ridiculous man in all of England, if not the entire world.
The look on Mr. Bingley's face, however, was one of total dejection. He had hoped that he would be the one to court Jane, but somehow someone else had beaten him to it. Who could it be? He had just walked with her in the garden, and he was sure that she would accept him! At the same moment, Elizabeth and Jane realized that Mary's words had inferred that Jane was being courted by another, and both of them were trying to think of some way to clear up the misunderstanding. Remembering her sister's advice that she should be less reticent and show her feelings to Mr. Bingley, Jane boldly took his arm and whispered in his ear. "She meant you, Mr. Bingley." Bingley's eyes grew wide, and he suddenly realized that she had been waiting for his offer. "Oh, Jane! This is wondrous news indeed!" He didn't realize that he had called her by her Christian name, but no one in the room minded at all. "I am overjoyed you have declared your feelings, and you have made me a happy man indeed!" He blushed a deep red when he realized that everyone in the parlor had been a witness to this scene, but for the first time, Jane did not blush and was proud of her actions.
Mrs. Bennett could be heard yelling at Mrs. Hill to make a special apple something to celebrate Mary's marriage proposal, and everyone knew that this would be a most interesting dinner indeed. After the announcement of Mary's engagement to Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennett was delirious over her future at Longbourn being secured and her exclamations regarding the perfection of Mary all during dinner were relentless. Elizabeth felt that it was one of the most embarrassing nights she could ever remember. Between her mother's incessant blathering about her "favorite" daughter, Mary, and Mr. Collins sermonizing with his mouth full of food about the God-given institution of marriage, the incomparable beauty of his betrothed, and the benevolence of his patroness, Lady Catherine De Bourg, Elizabeth wanted to crawl out of the room on her hands and knees and disappear. Her father, as usual, sat at the head of the table, not saying a word - just watching the preposterous performances, allowing them to continue unfettered. Lydia and Kitty loudly and unabashedly giggled at everything Mr. Collins said, with an occasional horrid snorting sound from Lydia, and Jane and Mr. Bingley just sat quietly together, oblivious to anyone or anything around them. Elizabeth knew that they had finally come to an understanding earlier, but how could they not notice the ridiculous gathering of these oddly matched people? She loved her sister Jane with all her heart, but how could she be so accepting of this lunacy? Was love really this blind?
Although she felt as though nothing else could make her more uncomfortable than she already was, she was seated directly opposite Mr. Darcy, who was undoubtedly wishing he was anywhere else but there. She desperately wanted to keep her eyes down and not look at him, but she couldn't help glancing at him to see if his discomfort was obvious. The look on his face was unemotional and he appeared so detached, she wondered how they could be sitting at the same dining table. Before she could look away, he looked over at her, and she thought she could detect a look of humor in his eyes. Hoping that was the case, she rolled her eyes and gave him a tiny smile. Much to her surprise, he slyly glanced around the table, and then winked at her, making her cheeks burn. Thankfully, everyone was too preoccupied to have noticed, but she could no longer look at him without deepening her blush.
The dinner finally came to an end, and Elizabeth felt sure that it was probably the last invitation Mr. Darcy would accept from the Bennetts. He hadn't said more than ten words the whole evening, and although they had shared a moment of silent acknowledgement that the evening was ridiculous, she knew that he was still Mr. Darcy of Pemberley, and this was not what he was used to - and for that matter, could ever become used to. As the Netherfield party said their goodbyes, Elizabeth watched Bingley kiss Jane's hand as the gentlemen boarded their carriage, and she felt a momentary pang of envy. She was delighted for her sister and thoroughly pleased that she had found love at last, but she too wanted that once in a lifetime feeling of love and having a man cherish her as Bingley cherished Jane. She knew that her chances here in Meryton were slim, and her future was probably a life of living at Netherfield with Jane, acting as a governess for her children, but still, there was her lovely dream of finding someone kind, intelligent, charming and handsome, and . . . "Oh my," she thought as she glanced at Mr. Darcy boarding the carriage. He turned around at that moment and their eyes locked. "Oh my," she repeated, feeling a flutter in her heart she had never experienced before. She quickly turned away and returned to the house, claiming fatigue and retiring to her bedroom to try to sleep. She found it most difficult indeed.
Chapter Twenty Eight
It's Now or Never
After a fitful night of dreams about Elizabeth, Darcy awoke before dawn and knew that today was the day he must finally share his amaz
ing story and deepening feelings with her. It was much too early to ride to Longbourn and request an audience with Elizabeth, so he decided to ride the fields of Netherfield once again to make his final evaluation of the property for Bingley. He didn't wish to awaken his valet, but while dressing quickly in the dark, he heard a soft knock at the adjoining sitting room door and he heard Gregory requesting entrance to his bed chamber. "Enter," he said.
Gregory opened the door and bowed. "Good morning, Sir. I heard you moving about and am preparing your bath." Darcy was astonished at the man's ability to carry out his unvarying dedication to his duties. He thought he had been exceedingly quiet searching out his riding attire, but apparently not so.
Gregory moved to the chair where Darcy was pulling on his boots, and he held up the heel of each boot to make it easier for him. "No need to request hot water for me as yet, Gregory," he instructed. "I am going out for a ride and won't need to bathe until I return." He rubbed his chin and felt the uncharacteristic stubble that needed shaving, and Gregory tipped his head as if to ask his preference about shaving now or later. "I'll wait on a shave as well, but just give me a hand with this cravat" he responded to the silent question. Gregory tied a simple knot instead of the formal one he preferred for his master, but it was dark outside and he knew he wouldn't see anyone this early in the morning. "I shouldn't be long," Darcy said. He stood up, thanking the valet for his assistance, and picked up his riding crop and left for the stables.
Finding no one in the stables at this early hour, he located Omega's saddle and made ready to ride out. It was still quite dark, but Omega was now familiar with the property and deftly avoided the areas that he knew to be rutted and uneven. Darcy wanted to inspect some acreage that he had not as yet navigated, but Omega refused the tug on his reins to ride to the left and instead turned right toward the field of wildflowers that bordered Longbourn. Darcy laughed to himself, thinking that now even Omega was a participant in this strange and unseen force to lead him to Elizabeth. He decided not to refuse his horse's initiative, and they loped the miles through the Netherfield fields until they reached the beckoning break in the fence where he had first felt the mysterious pull toward Elizabeth.