Broken Road

by Mari Beck

  “But they’ve got these.” Brenda insisted.

  “There’s protocol that has to be followed. You know that, you were married to the Army for a while, remember?”

  “What if they don’t care and they decide these don’t matter. He’ll tell them what he thinks happened.”

  “Yes, and they’ll take that into account along with everything else, including these pictures.”

  “How can you be so sure? Your source could be wrong and he. . .” Brenda was feeling desperate but the reporter interrupted her.

  “Brenda, breathe. Breathe, okay? It’s true. I don’t know exactly what will happen but I trust this source. I would never have come here if I didn’t think there was some truth to all of this.” She pointed to the spread of pictures. Brenda nodded in agreement.

  “Have you talked to him?” Meagan McGuinnis asked and Brenda looked up in surprise.

  “Not since that night at the station. Have you?” That was the truth and though she had fought every impulse to call him, she had agreed to walk away with the stipulation that Jon would call Louis Montgomery and that he would let her know how Riley was doing when the time was right. Three months had passed without a word.

  “I check up on him but not directly.” The reporter smiled and Brenda felt it was almost sincere.

  “How is he?”

  “My source tells me that he’s getting the help he needs.”

  “That’s good.” Brenda was relieved and disappointed. Meagan McGuinnis didn’t seem like she was willing to share any additional information.

  “I wanted you to know the truth, Brenda. I think I’ve done what I came here to do.” The reporter got up holding her bruised fingers and started for the door.

  “Wait, what about the photographs?” Brenda lifted one of the pictures up from the table.

  “I’ve got copies.” Meagan McGuinnis flashed her the smile she was known for. Of course she had copies, probably for that special report or exclusive interview she was hoping for sometime in the distant future. The ambitious newswoman was back but what she said next took Brenda by surprise. The reporter turned and smiled, her eyes moist.

  “As for the pictures, keep them, Brenda, or burn them whatever will bring you the most peace.” With that the reporter opened the door and left.

  Brenda sat in silence staring at the photographs spread out on the coffee table. Meagan McGuinnis had hit her with a whirlwind of information and she felt dizzy. She’d wanted to know the truth and she thought she’d gotten it when Riley had confessed that he’d killed Shane by accident on that road outside of Baghdad. Riley thought he’d shot Shane after he aimed his gun at someone he’d thought was an insurgent, only to find out it was a young boy holding out his injured sister in an effort to seek help. The guilt and shame of it all had been eating away at him for so long that he had attempted to take his own life not once, but twice. Now, these pictures told a different story and while the ending was sadly the same, it proved that Riley had no weapon and that Shane had been shot by the enemy. Shane had sacrificed himself to save Riley’s life and that of the children and photojournalist Steve Rappaport had gotten it all on film.

  She wondered how soon Riley would find out the truth, the real truth. Would he feel relieved? Could he finally absolve himself of the horrible secret he’d been carrying all this time? She took out her cellphone and found Louis Montgomery’s number. She was ready to press the call button when she stopped. Brenda had promised to step away and give Riley time to heal. She looked around the family room at all of the pictures of Shane and the boys. Then, her eyes fell on the glass case holding Shane’s American flag. Tears welled up in her eyes again. She wasn’t ready. She knew that, and she also knew that she owed it to herself and to her boys to continue to work through the grief of Shane’s loss. She also owed it to herself to continue the inner work that would allow her to forgive and accept what she had done. Only then could she be ready to take the next step toward a new life and maybe even a new love.

  CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

  Honor

  The spotlight was bright. Brenda put a hand over eyes in an effort to see if she could see anyone out in the audience. 10. . .9. . .8. . .7. . .6. . .5. . .4. . .3. . .2. . .1 There was the cue and suddenly, all eyes were on her, Callan and Taylor. She could barely breathe and then, out of the corner of her eye she saw it and felt all of the tension leave her body. It was the picture of Shane the day he deployed for Iraq. It seemed a lifetime ago. She looked for a moment longer. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked into the face she thought she would be looking into for the rest of her life. His face was calm, almost serene. She felt the sting of tears for a moment but instead of letting them come, she smiled at the picture sitting on the easel behind them. Then, she turned around in time to see the President of the United States enter the room and step up to a special podium.

  “Good afternoon.” The President greeted everyone and then turned and smiled at Brenda and the boys. “It has been said that courage is not the absence of fear but that there is always something more important than fear that causes one to act in spite of it. That is certainly the case when it comes to our nation’s men and women in uniform. I am sure that each one would tell you that they pushed on despite their fears and we and so many of their brothers and sisters in arms are better for it. Since this war began, men and women from all walks of life and all 50 states have demonstrated a selfless willingness to serve and lead. Many of them have given of themselves, often sacrificing precious time with their families to answer the call and willingly carry the burdens this war has placed upon them. Still others have made the greatest sacrifice of all by giving their lives so that we may live in general safety and peace. Let us also recognize that many of those who have returned continue to sacrifice by bearing the visible wounds and invisible scars of war. We must pledge to continue our efforts to support them as they heal, return to their communities and are reunited with their loved ones. So, it is fitting that today we pay tribute to a soldier, who was the very definition of courage-a man who answered the call of duty like so many others. He was proud of his service and of those with whom he served. Today, we present our nation’s highest military decoration-the Medal of Honor-to Captain Shane Matthew Jenner.” The name was met with thunderous applause from the audience. Brenda was overwhelmed by the response. The President continued.

  “Today, Shane will be inducted into a brotherhood of proud Medal of Honor recipients. Some of these previous recipients have joined us here today along with many other important individuals, but first and foremost, I would like to thank Shane’s family-his wife Brenda and sons Callan and Taylor for being here to accept this honor on his behalf.” More applause. Brenda wasn’t sure if she would be able to continue but she willed herself to find the strength to see it through.

  “I am told that when he wasn’t deployed, Shane served as a volunteer football coach at his oldest son’s high school. He was instrumental in guiding the lives of many young men in the community. He represented a source of strength and was a surrogate father to many of them. From his letters and phone calls home we know that his coaching didn’t end when he was deployed but continued up until the last moments of his life. He cared about the men and women under his command and we know that his thoughts turned to their safety, to his family-especially his boys-and to the civilians-many of them women and children that he had sworn to protect.” Another round of applause filled the room.

  “Of course I, like many of you,saw that now famous picture that flashed around the world. It was a picture that changed the lives of a family and a nation forever. I remember talking to Rev. James Archer the House Chaplain, who had stopped by that day, all the while thinking what you were probably thinking: why would God allow something like this to happen to this family? It’s not the first time I’ve asked this question while our nation has been at war-I doubt it will be the last. But now months later we’re beginning to see the dramatic and positive effect Shane Jenner’s life and ye
s, even his sacrifice has had on people not only here at home but around the world. Those of us who have lost someone understand that there is healing even in the smallest of things or the tiniest of gestures. In nominating Shane Jenner for this award we recognize not only his sacrifice but our certainty that in the end when you truly love and are loved as he was by his family and friends there are no goodbyes.” As the cameras flashed the President turned to Brenda and the boys gesturing for them to come closer to the podium. On cue a military aide approached the President with a medal hanging from a bright blue silk ribbon. Brenda tapped Taylor on the shoulder and he timidly stepped forward as the President leaned down and placed the medal around his small neck and shook his hand. He also reached out and placed a firm hand on Callan’s shoulder and shook his hand.

  “ I have no doubt that your father is very proud of you today.” The President said to both boys. He turned to Brenda and took her hands in his.

  “Brenda, thank you. Thank you for your sacrifice and for letting us honor Shane.” There were tears in Brenda’s eyes as she let go of the President’s hands. She and the boys stood and looked out at the audience as the same military aide read the special proclamation.

  “The President of the United States of America, authorized by Act of Congress, March 3, 1863, has posthumously awarded in the name of Congress the Medal of Honor to Captain Shane Matthew Jenner, United States Army. Captain Shane Jenner distinguished himself by acts above and beyond the call of duty. Captain Jenner led a convoy on a mission to clear a narrow stretch of road of IED’s. At a village checkpoint during the mission, Captain Jenner and the convoy were hit by a manually detonated device and ambushed by enemy forces. Several civilians and comrades were injured and or killed during the attack. After tending to his injured comrades and leading efforts to get the remaining civilians-several children among them- to safety, Captain Jenner, ignoring the gravity of his own injuries, led his squad in search of the individual responsible for the manually detonated device. Upon searching the immediate vicinity for this individual, Captain Jenner and his squad found a local family seeking refuge from the attack. At that moment, a rocket propelled grenade impacted near his location killing members of the family, his squad and further injuring Captain Jenner. Captain Jenner was temporarily knocked unconscious.When he regained consciousness he noticed two children huddling in the corner near the debris. Pulling himself up he managed to reach the children and attempted to take them to safety. As he exited what was left of the home, he came upon the individual whom he believed to be responsible for triggering the manually detonated device and a wounded member of his squad, Specialist Riley J. Favreau. Placing the children within a safe distance, Captain Jenner, realizing that his comrade was in imminent danger, placed himself between the individual and Specialist Favreau, thus saving his life, the life of the children and sacrificing his own. Captain Shane M. Jenner displayed great bravery and a heroism that saved the lives of many of his comrades and of the innocent civilians he vowed to protect that day. He is a credit to his fellow soldiers and the United States Army.”

  As she listened Brenda finally felt the tears come. She didn’t stop them this time and she let them fall. Then, as the Army Chaplain came up to the podium and recited a prayer she felt Callan take her hand. She was grateful.

  Once the prayer ended, the President returned to the podium. “Amen.” He said and smiled out at the crowd. “The ceremony has ended but the celebration continues. Please join us in remembering all of our fallen heroes. Again, we thank the family of Captain Shane Jenner especially his sons Callan and Taylor for representing their dad today. To all of our service men and women, thank you for your leadership and your sacrifice. We are and will forever be grateful.” With that, the President stepped down and the audience got to its feet. Brenda and the boys descended the stairs after the President and made their way down the aisle as cameras flashed.

  As they walked Brenda noticed a familiar face standing toward the back. It was Louis Montgomery decked out in full military uniform. Brenda was shocked to see him. She wanted to stop but was moved along by the President’s aides. Louis smiled at her as they passed and gave her a wink. Her heart was racing. She was so glad to see Louis but the truth was that she was only looking for one face among the crowd. But it was a face she didn’t see anywhere and she couldn’t help but be disappointed. It had been a a year and a couple of months. How quickly and yet how slowly time seemed to pass. They hadn’t spoken since that day when she’d found him outside of the tv station, after sitting with Meagan McGuinnis, doing the interview he swore he’d never give to save her the pain and humiliation of confessing her sins on national tv. He had turned himself inside out and bared his soul in the interview. Riley had told the truth about what happened on that road outside of Baghdad or at least part of it. Of course the truth hadn’t set Riley completely free. The wounds were too deep and the memories were too fresh. But what happened could be called a miracle and Brenda liked to think that it was. She could have taken her grief over what happened to Shane and hurt Riley with it until it destroyed them both and those who loved them. Instead, she had taken that grief and turned it, as best she could, into acceptance and forgiveness. After the last time she saw Riley, she began to receive brief emails from Louis Montgomery, where he shared that Riley was attending therapy sessions with Dr. Nadeem and going to a veteran’s group once a week. Louis had become an important friend to Riley, someone for him to lean on, a mentor who having served in Vietnam understood some things without asking. They came to the end of the aisle when the President stopped. He was shaking the hand of a man in full military dress. It was the face of a man Brenda would never forget.

  CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

  Hope

  Riley Favreau stood next to the President as the cameras rushed to capture their exchange.

  “I’m glad you could make it.” The President said with a smile. “It wouldn’t be the same without you here. Thank you for reconsidering.”

  “Thank you, Mr. President.”

  “Of course, I wish you would reconsider accepting your own nomination for this award.”

  “I appreciate that, sir. But like I explained when you called, it doesn’t feel right to accept an award for something that I didn’t do. Captain Jenner was the real hero that day.” The President didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he smiled and shook Riley’s hand once again.

  “Riley, as far as I’m concerned, every service man and woman is a hero in my book. Will you join us?” The President motioned toward the next room where the reception was to be held.

  “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Riley answered and the procession resumed. But Riley stood where he was and felt nervous the closer Brenda and the boys came to where he was standing. Did she know he was there? Did she know that he finally knew the truth about what really happened that day on the road? The investigation had taken its course and he had been cleared and while it had given him an immense sense of relief and helped diminish the guilt, there would always be a part of him that wished he’d been able to save Shane Jenner and those two children. It was something he’d have to live with for the rest of his life. He looked her way again.Would she stop and acknowledge him or pretend that they didn’t know each other? He knew in his heart what he wanted to do but it seemed impossible given how much had happened between them. In the end, it was her youngest son Taylor who stepped out of the procession and came to him. Feeling the tug on his sleeve, Riley kneeled down so he was eye level with the boy. The medal was enormous hanging from his small neck. Riley smiled at him.

  “Hi.” Taylor whispered

  “Hi.”

  “Are you my dad’s friend?” the boy asked. Riley felt a lump rise in his throat. He looked up and saw Brenda standing with her oldest son. There were tears in her eyes. He cleared his throat.

  “Yes.” Riley said and Taylor leaned forward and put his arms around him.The camera flashes came in frenzied waves capturing each moment of the encounter. Huggi
ng him tight Riley found it hard to keep his own emotions in check. After a moment, Taylor let go and Riley stood up. He extended his hand to Callan who hesitated for a moment before taking it. Riley could see how much the young man resembled his father. “Your dad was really proud of you.” Riley said as he shook Callan’s hand.

  “Thanks.”The teenager accepted the compliment giving him a slight smile. The four of them stood there among a throng of cameras and a couple of hundred guests who were pouring into the reception hall, lost in the moment and in the memories of what had happened to them over the last year and a half. Riley looked over at Brenda. Her hair had grown out since he’d seen her last and it was back to its natural color. She looked beautiful. However, he had to admit that accepting who she really was had been difficult. It had taken him quite a few months and several sessions with Dr. Nadeem to figure out exactly what he was feeling and what he wanted to do about it. The truth was that it was all a work in progress but Riley couldn’t deny that he felt something for Brenda Jenner. It was something real and meaningful. There was so much he wanted to say to her about what had happened in his life since the last time they saw each other. But just as he opened his mouth, a presidential aide came up to them ushering the cameras and reporters into the reception hall.

  “Mrs. Jenner, the President is ready for you and the boys to join him.”

  “Thank you.” Brenda replied. “If you’ll just give me a moment I’ll be right there.”

  “Certainly. Just keep in mind that the reception can’t begin until you arrive at the table.”

  “Of course, I’ll be quick.” She said and turned to Callan. “Cal, will you please wait for me by the door with your brother?” Callan looked at Riley and then at his mother. He nodded and took Taylor by the hand.

  “Come on.” The older boy said as they walked away leaving Brenda and Riley alone. Brenda walked over to a quieter and less conspicuous corner of the room and motioned for him to follow.