“That’s so nice of you, Jason,” I said, completely touched by his generous offer, and that very defined thigh muscle. “I could never agree to that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I couldn’t ever afford the rent, first of all,” I said.
“Rent?” he asked. “I’m not asking for money, Daisy.”
Suddenly, it dawned on me.
Of course! How dense could I be?
I shook my head, my lips pressing into a firm line as I pulled my thigh as far away as possible.
“I’m sorry, Jason, but I’m not in that business anymore.”
“Business?” he asked, cocking his head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“I'm not for sale!” I snapped. “Not anymore.”
“For sale?” he asked, his eyes widening. “What the hell?”
“I’m not stupid, either,” I said.
“Stupid?”
“What the hell are you, a parrot?” I shouted, waking up Alex. “Let me out!”
I looked away, my heart breaking. Of course he wasn’t just offering a ride out of the kindness of his own heart. He knew what I was and he simply wanted a piece.
“Wait!” He said, putting his hand on my arm. “Daisy, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I wasn’t trying to, I mean, I don’t know what you thought, but I don’t —.”
“— It’s fine, I get it.”
“No, I don’t think you do, actually.” His voice was gentle, too gentle, so gentle I could hear the hurt in it. I’d jumped to conclusions and made a mistake.
“I’m sorry, I just thought…” I murmured, my voice trailing off. Now, I was embarrassed. I’d obviously offended him with my assumptions and now I felt like a complete ass about it.
“My proposal still stands,” he said, nodding firmly. “And, if you don’t want to accept it for free, I could use a dog-sitter. And a house-sitter, I guess. I can pay you, whatever you’d like, and you’d be free to come and go as you please. You’d basically have run of the house, because like I said, I’m never there.”
“That’s very nice of you, but I have to say no. We’re comfortable here. For now.”
“Just think about it, okay?”
“Okay, but the answer will still be no.” I said, smiling tightly. I just wanted out of the truck now. I wanted to hide my face in my pillow and deal with the mortified aftermath of my outburst.
“Okay, then,” he said, still smiling at me. “The offer still stands should you ever change your mind.” God, he was so fucking handsome and kind and I’d had the nerve to suggest he was something else entirely.
“Thanks again for the ride,” I said, daring to meet his gaze again.
“It was my pleasure,” he said.
He turned and opened the door, sliding out and waiting for me to step out before stopping me again.
“Have dinner with me,” he whispered, flashing me the charming smile I’d been haunted by for a year.
“Dinner?” I asked, my eyes wide.
He nodded, silently waiting for my reply.
“I don’t know, Jason,” I said, shaking my head. Was he actually asking me on a date? A real date? “I don’t have a babysitter for Alex, obviously.”
“Bring him with you.”
“Really?” I asked, my heart racing.
“Really. It’s just dinner, that’s all. Nothing more, I promise. Something tells me I should get to know you better, Daisy.” He smiled again, melting all of my defenses. “Give me a chance to do that.”
I smiled at him, completely taken aback.
“Okay, dinner,” I said finally. “When?”
“Tomorrow night? I’ll pick you up at seven.”
I smiled, my shyness eclipsed by my delight.
“See you tomorrow,” I said, my breathing completely stopped by now. I went around the truck and took a still sleeping Alex from his car seat and looked back in at Jason once more.
“Thanks again,” I said. “It was really nice to run into you.”
“It sure was,” he said. “Have a wonderful day and I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
I closed the door and walked back into the shelter, my knees wobbling and knocking, my heart pounding, my head spinning.
I put Alex in his crib and shut our bedroom door, sinking down to the floor with tears running down my face.
I had a date. I’d never had a date before in my life.
A real, bonafide date!
Lucifer
A few hours after leaving the rose garden, my bad mood returned. My night had been hijacked and now I was on Ruby LaFontaine’s front door step, banging on her door.
“Stop banging,” I heard her call from inside, the door swinging open finally, Ruby’s frail, aging, heavily tweaked face staring back at me with wide, watery blue eyes. When she saw it was me, she wrapped her fuzzy robe around her tiny body tightly and nodded firmly, stepping aside.
“Come in, Lucas,” she murmured. “It’s the middle of the night. I’m assuming this couldn’t wait till morning?”
“Hell, no, it can’t wait,” I growled, pacing in her living room like an angry wolf. “Where the hell is Scarlet? I went to her apartment and some old bald dude is living there.”
“I see,” she said, nodding again.
“I see? You see what? What the fuck does that mean?” I roared, my blood boiling through my veins. “I pay you every fucking month. I’ve never missed a payment. Scarlet’s mine and she’s supposed to be waiting for me, all the fucking time, every fucking minute, Ruby! Did she move without you telling me?”
“Lucas, calm down,” she said, holding up a palm.
“I’ll calm down when you tell me where my girl is.”
“She left.”
“She left. She left? Where the fuck did she go?”
“I’m not sure,” she said. “It’s been so long, Lucas. You’ve been gone a long time.”
“Yeah, I have. So fucking what?”
“Well, a lot has happened.”
“Like what?”
“Listen, sometimes, the girls, they get a little rebellious, you know? Scarlet wasn’t a good girl. Let me get you another girl. In fact, I already have someone lined up. She’s Dominican, Lucas. Dark and svelte, very sexy, very sweet. Her name’s Maria, she’s just your type.”
“Just my type, huh?” I said, shaking my head. I stopped in front of her, my eyes searching hers. “Ruby, tell me something.”
“What?”
“Do I look like a fucking fool to you?”
“Lucas…”
“No, I’m serious, Ruby. You’ve known me a long time, right? Ten years, at least, right?”
“Yes, Lucas, but…”
“No, listen. Answer me honestly. Do I look like a fucking fool to you? I know I don’t come from old money, like most of your clientele, but I’m not fucking stupid.”
“Of course you aren’t, Lucas.”
“Then why the fuck,” I screamed, walking away and slamming my fist into her wall, “are you playing me like a fucking fool?”
“Lucas, I’m sorry!” Ruby said. “Scarlet fucked up, okay? You were gone a long time and I don’t know how, but she went and got herself knocked up. It was right after you left the last time, but I didn’t find out for a few months. She hid it until it was too late, or I would have done something about it.”
“Pregnant? She’s pregnant?” I asked, frozen in my tracks, my head spinning.
“Well, not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“Once I figured it out, I kicked her out right away, Lucas. You know I’d never stand for a girl going outside.”
“She was pregnant and you kicked her out?”
“Of course,” she said, lifting her chin as if she was proud of it.
“That’s fucking brutal,” I said, shaking my head. “Well, where did she go?”
“Well,” she said, turning away. “I’m not sure.”
“Where the fuck is she, Ruby? I kn
ow you better than to just let her go.”
“I tried to take care of it,” she said, turning back to me, her eyes searching mine. “In fact, I thought took care of the entire fucking problem, but my stupid fucking hired help screwed up the job.”
“You tried to take her out, Ruby?” I asked, my voice rising in disbelief.
“Call it whatever you want,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “She was useless at that point.”
“So what happened?” I asked.
“Someone saved her. Some fucking nosy elderly couple, out for a weekend drive. She made it to the hospital and they saved her and the baby.”
“And?” I asked.
“And nothing. After that, she wouldn’t see me anymore and I gave up trying. Like I said, she’s fucking useless. A single mom with a fucking baby to take care of? Not exactly prime real estate, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding my head. “I know what you mean.”
She turned away, shaking her head as she walked to the corner and around to the back of the intricately carved wooden bar in the corner.
“You want a drink?” She asked. “Whiskey, right?”
“Sure,” I said, nodding thoughtfully, trying to remember exactly how long ago it had been since I’d seen Scarlet. I’d been paying her living expenses, keeping her on retainer, so to speak, available at my beck and call, for years. Months went by without contact. I wasn’t really a sentimental type, I didn’t have time for personal relationships so much.
That’s why I paid for what I needed, when I needed it. With the kind of money I have, you can afford it. I had another girl in Barcelona, with the same set up. And one in New York, too.
They knew what my expectations were and they met them willingly.
“Ruby, I haven’t seen Scarlet in almost two years, except for that one time…shit.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“So how old is the baby? When did all this happen?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The kids gotta be close to a year old by now.”
“So she admitted to fucking around with someone?”
“No, of course not,” she scoffed. “She denied it up and down, but who can believe a whore?”
“So why do you think she was fucking someone else?”
“Because she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant with you, Lucas.”
“Why not?”
“Because you aren’t stupid enough not to wear a condom with a whore. And it’s in the contract.”
I nodded, slowly, letting all this information sink in.
“Ruby?” I asked.
“Yeah?” She said, handing me a glass of shimmering amber whiskey. “Why’d you keep cashing my cheeks if Scarlet was gone?”
“Why should I suffer just because that stupid bitch got knocked up?” She said, pursing her bright red lips angrily. “Besides, like I said, I’ve got this other girl. Her name’s Maria, she has long, black hair and the perkiest little titties you ever —.”
I threw my glass against the wall, shards flying through the air.
“Lucas!” She cried, her eyes flashing with fear as I rounded the bar, snatching her soft robe up in my hands.
“Tell me where the fuck she is, Ruby!”
“I - I - I don’t know, Lucas,” she said, her bottom lip quivering. “I really don’t. Last I saw of her, she was at the hospital. I tried to see her and the little boy, but she wouldn’t let me in. Maybe she went to a shelter or something, but I don’t know. I promise!”
“A boy?” I asked, my eyes wide.
“Yeah, she had a little boy,” she nodded. “Please let me go, Lucas.”
I let go in a daze, my heart threatening to burst from my chest.
“A boy…”
I took a step back and then looked at her again.
“You don’t know where she is?”
“I’m sorry, Lucas,” she said.
I nodded slowly and then reached my hand up, slamming it down onto her face and slapping her hard.
She crumpled to the ground in a pile at my feet.
I looked down in disgust, shaking my head.
“You’re a real asshole, Ruby, you know that?” I growled, before turning away and walking out of her house.
I sat behind the wheel of the car, the sky beginning to light up with a warm red glow, the sun rising in the distance as I let it all sink in.
It was a new day.
And I was a father.
“I have a son,” I whispered to the rose, still sitting on the seat next to me, a little wilted after a few hours. I reached over and picked it up, inhaling its sweet scent again.
Slowly, my fingers closed around it, crushing the perfect, velvety petals into a wrinkled, perfumed mess in my palm. I tossed it out the window and hit the gas pedal, racing off into the new day, a new man with a new purpose.
A father.
Daisy
Tick.
Tick.
Tick…
The old plastic clock over the doorway of the shelter was avocado green, with a broken hour hand that twitched constantly. My eyes were glued to it, and had been for the last ten minutes, watching it slowly move until it was directly over the number seven.
My stomach was churning.
Alex was crying, and hadn’t stopped crying since he woke up this morning, in fact. I’m pretty sure it’s another tooth coming in, his third so far. The previous two tested every ounce of patience I had, but we’d come out the other side still loving each other. I knew this one would turn out the same way, but I also knew an insane lack of sleep was in my future.
His diaper bag sat at my feet, packed full of anything I might need in a baby emergency. I was well prepared, but I was full of anxiety.
“You sure you don’t want me to babysit?” Beatrice asked.
“I’m sure, thank you,” I said. I’d lied when I told Jason I didn’t have a babysitter. Like I said, we were a family. We traded as much as necessary, all of us helping out with each other’s children anytime we needed it.
Not many of us went on dates, though.
If you were here, you were fleeing a situation that had left you shaken and lost. There wasn’t any room for dating in that. Of course most women didn’t stay as long as me. I’ve been here longer than anyone, except for the paid staff. Usually, a guest is gone in six months. Normally, one was eager to get away, craving privacy and independence and most of all, to be away from others that reminded them of what they’d gone through.
There was nothing more upsetting than a girl’s first night here. They came in straight from the hospital, beaten and bloody and broken. When you’re on the other side, after you’ve survived it yourself, you are blessed with the knowledge that that is the worst night of all. That moment right there, when you’ve finally decided to leave, when you’ve finally decided that it was the last time…
Until then, the worst is always the next time they hit you.
But once you get to the shelter, for the luckiest ones, that’s the last time and all you have to do is make it to tomorrow and the worst will be over.
The light is on the other side of that very last time.
My point is, it’s hard to watch someone go through the worst night of their lives. So, most of us leave the shelter as fast as we’re able to. We find a roommate, a studio apartment, stay with a relative, and then — they get back on their feet, stronger and braver and well on their way to healing.
The thing is, living in the shelter with Alex was the first time I’d ever felt anything resembling a family. I didn’t want to leave, because I had nowhere else to go. I didn’t want to leave because I’d finally found a home.
Beatrice would gladly have taken care of Alex for me while I went out with Jason, but I didn’t want her to because I was afraid to get too far away from that family. Holding him close to me meant I was anchored to safety.
Plus, I was a little terrified to be alone with Jason. Having Alex there, especially if he was crying, would kee
p me from getting lost in Jason’s dreamy eyes for too long and making a complete fool of myself.
“Girl, if you don’t stop those jitters, you’re gonna make me jump outta my skin!” Bea said with a smile. “This must be some date.”
“It’s not a date.”
“It’s not? Then what is it?”
“Dinner.”
“Dinner. Okay, whatever you say. You know, I gotta say I didn’t even know you had those boobs. You’ve been hiding that figure under sweat pants and hoodies all year. You look amazing.”
“Thanks,” I said, pulling up the neckline of the black shirt I’d borrowed from her. “I’m not sure where we’re going.”
I’d been kicking myself for not asking. I hoped like hell it wasn’t somewhere fancy because the few times I’d eaten out with Alex had not been the most quiet of times.
“I never should have agreed to this,” I muttered out loud, shaking my head.
Alex screamed like a banshee, and I jumped. I sighed, reaching down and picking him up from the car seat I’d placed him in while we were waiting. I didn’t want to assume Jason would still have the one he’d borrowed from the hospital, so I’d borrowed one from the shelter. I didn’t have one because I didn’t have a car. The things I owned, after a year on my own, could fit in a few bags.
“Oh, stop,” she said. “You’ve been here a year and you haven’t gone out once. It’s about time you had some fun, Daisy.”
Alex screamed again, and I put him over my shoulder, walking him around.
“Fun, huh?” I said, laughing.
“I told you I’ll watch him,” she said. “I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn.”
“We’re a package deal,” I said, flashing her a pointed look.
“I thought you said it wasn’t a date,” she winked, then laughed.
I shook my head, unable to resist laughing with her.
“Hello?”
A knock at the door made me jump again, causing Alex to cry out in terror again. Bea opened the door and her eyes widened.
“Hello, I’m Jason, I’m here to pick up —.” He stopped when he looked over and saw me standing in the living room, his face breaking out into a huge smile. “— Daisy and Alex.”
BONES: GODS OF CHAOS MC Page 6