8
Cassie awoke alone in Sam’s bed and sat up, her heart racing.
Two weeks had passed since their trip to San Antonio, and every chance she got she snuck away to see him, including last night.
Climbing out of bed, she reached for his T-shirt and pulled it on, then padded down the hall. She found him standing by the window, dressed in black shorts and tennis shoes. His slick hair and upper body told her he was still sweaty from his daily run. The sight of him made her tremble and her toes curl.
He moved and the muscles of his back coiled and rippled. His biceps were thick, sinewy. His large hand grasped the water bottle as he brought it to his lips and drank thirstily, then he turned and strolled across the room, still unaware that she was watching him.
When he saw her, one corner of his mouth lifted into a grin that made her heavy with need.
“Good morning,” he said in a husky, gentle voice. “Coffee?”
“Yes, please.” Her own words were breathy. She wondered if she would ever stop wanting him? Ever stop fantasizing of ways she could bring him pleasure.
The last few weeks had been amazing. They’d made love. Explored one another. Brought each other climax after climax. He’d touched her in ways that she had no words to describe the feeling. Yet, fear remained in the recesses of her mind. They wanted each other, but things were still so new…mind-blowing.
Last night he’d made love to her on the couch. The table. And later again, in bed. He made her feel as though she were a teenager again and she couldn’t get satiated.
Doing this came with risks. So many that she didn’t want to dwell on them this morning.
He was in the kitchen preparing her coffee and she took a seat at the bar to watch him.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked.
“I always do when I’m sleeping with you. Did you have a good run?”
“Sure.” He smiled and handed her a steaming cup. “What does your evening look like?”
She shrugged, rolling the tip of her finger around the rim of the mug, wishing it was his cock. “I have a meeting at five, and then I’m finished for the day. You?”
“My last patient is at six. Just in time for dinner if someone would invite me.”
Swallowing a sip of coffee, she absorbed his words. “Anna is home this evening.” She averted her gaze and looked down into the coffee.
“Yes, I remember you saying that.”
“I-I don’t know…”
“You don’t know? About me meeting her?” he frowned.
She wrapped her hands around her cup, absorbing the warmth. “I haven’t told her about us.”
“Come on, Cas. You don’t think she has a good idea what you’re doing when she’s away? Don’t most teens have a clue what’s going on?”
Shrugging, she tugged the hem of his shirt lower on her bare thighs, getting a hint of his cologne. “I don’t know.”
He leaned over the granite counter, clasping his hands together as he held her gaze. “It’s okay that you’re moving on, sweetheart. Divorce isn’t the end but the beginning of something new.”
“Sure, but…” she couldn’t find the words. How could she be expected to figure out her future in a matter of weeks? When she was with Sam she wasn’t herself. She was a crazed maniac and wanted to fuck him as often as he could stay erect. These feelings scared and excited her. What happened after the newness wore off? What if he saw her in her everyday life where she was mother first, mayor second? There were the very things that drove her and Steven apart. Mothers weren’t supposed to be sex-starved and wanton…
It was safe being in the bubble she’d created for Sam and her.
“Her father has moved on. Why are you still feeling guilty?”
“It’s not guilt,” she forced though tight lips.
“No?” he smiled. “Is it just me? You don’t think I have longevity outside of bed? I know what commitment is.”
“That’s not it. You wouldn’t get it.” Once the words were out, she wanted to reel them back.
“Oh, because I can’t make babies or because I’m emotionally barren?” There was a harshness to his words that she wasn’t used to. He’d told her that he’d had a case of the mumps when he was a child and the bout had left him sterile which was the reason he didn’t have children and his ex had left him.
“You know what I meant. I’m only saying that it’s just been Anna and me for so long. I’ve dedicated myself to being her mother. I also have to think of my reputation.”
“Are you embarrassed of me? What we have?” His gaze narrowed.
The hole was getting bigger. “If I was ashamed, I wouldn’t be doing this.”
He nodded. “If you’re worried about Anna, I believe you’ve raised an intelligent, lovely daughter who wants her mother to be happy. How long are we supposed to keep things private? I feel like I’m supposed to be lying about us because I’m humiliated. I’m not.”
She pushed her cup away, feeling a little sick to her stomach. “I’m not asking for you to feel guilty—”
“No? Then why don’t you have dinner with me here in Oakland? Go to the movies? Invite me to your house? That’s what couples do, Cas.”
Couples? They are a couple? “Give me a little credit. We’ve both been busy. I’m not hiding you, if that’s what you think.”
“Okay then, lets have dinner with your daughter tonight. I’d like to meet her. She’s the most important thing in your life, and I’d like to be a part of that. I know how to handle myself around people, especially kids.”
Sitting back in the stool, she shrugged. “Not tonight.”
All hints of his smile dropped from his expression. “Just as I thought.”
“Come on. Just give me some time.”
“I have to go get showered and ready for work.”
“Okay. I guess I do too.”
Any other morning they would have showered together, but this time he didn’t extend the invitation. He left her sitting alone, boggled over the sudden turn of events. She’d woke up on top of the world only to come down hard.
Dressing, she left before he was finished in the shower.
Driving to her house, she saw a familiar car parked on the street. Anna and Steven were sitting on the porch. Parking in the driveway, Cassie quickly slid out. “Is everything okay? I didn’t expect to see you until later, Anna.”
“Everything’s okay, mom. I wanted dad to drop me off before he went to work.” Anna laughed, but it was a nervous one.
Steven stood from the rocker. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart. Can I speak to your mom alone for a moment?”
Anna looked to Cassie who subtly nodded.
The last thing she needed this morning was an unplanned meeting with her ex, but cornered, she had no choice. “I don’t have much time. I have to get to work myself.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, as he always did when he was displeased. “Do you think you’re being a good role model for our daughter?”
She squinted. “What are you talking about?”
He chuckled, but there was no humor to the irritating sound. He skimmed his narrowed gaze over her rumpled clothing. “I’m referring to your extracurricular activities here lately. I’m late for work because I didn’t want to leave her alone not knowing when, or if, you’d show up.”
She clenched her hands at her sides, reminding herself that she no longer had to lose her temper with him. “When have I ever not been there for our daughter?”
He gave a tight shrug. “This morning.”
She dropped her purse on the rocker. “Let’s get something straight, my personal life is no longer your business. That ended the minute you decided you wanted something else, something younger. And on the note of our daughter, she’s fifteen, not five, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Are you finished? Let’s not go over this again. Every time you get pissed, you bring up the past.”
“No, I’m not finished. You should never come here
again lecturing me like I’m one of your students. I was a good wife to you, but no matter how many cupcakes, lasagnas, how good the house was cleaned or the blowjobs I gave you, it didn’t keep you happy and from straying elsewhere. Twenty years I had spent with my head in the sand trying to please you and it’s not my job to do so any longer. Go ask your twenty-year-old wife to make you happy. I’m sure she’s energetic enough. From this point on I won’t allow you to twist my mind into thinking that I’m a mother only and I’m dirty for wanting to feel like a woman.”
“No, your head wasn’t in the ground. It was on your career. I like a woman who wants to share my bed, who believes in passion.”
“And I want a man who doesn’t get turned on by girls. I get that my intelligence and strength intimidated you, and in the long run, you did me a big service by fucking around because all I needed was the tiniest of pushes to realize you aren’t worth my time.”
His lips thinned. “I’ve wasted my morning here.”
As he walked away, she couldn’t believe she’d just vented. It was a long time coming. She turned and came face to face with her wide-eyed daughter. “Oh, no, Anna. I’m sorry.” Cassie hadn’t meant for her to hear.
Anna shrugged and disappeared from the doorway. Cassie could hear her footsteps on every single step of the stairs and then the expected slamming of her bedroom door.
Cassie had sunk low and that’s what she had wanted to keep from happening. All through the divorce, all through the months prior when she’d suspected Steven’s affair, she’d walked the high road. Even when he’d come to her and admitted that he was sleeping with a student, she’d held her chin up. When all the rumors started that she was at fault because she’d spent too much time working and not enough taking care of her husband, she’d continued to stay focused on taking care of her daughter.
She dropped in the rocker and buried her face in her palms. Tears threatened to come, but she refused to allow them passage. She’d wasted enough tears on the past.
Later, when she knocked on Anna’s door, she was glad her daughter answered. “Come in.”
Anna was stretched out across her bed, reading. “Hey there.” Cassie sat down.
“Hi, mom.” She kept her gaze on the book.
“I guess I screwed up.”
“No.”
“Then what, Anna?”
She sat up, crossed her legs and sighed. “I just didn’t think I’d have to hear anymore arguing between you and dad now that you’re divorced.”
“And I didn’t think I’d have to argue with him any longer since we’re divorced.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “He rubbed me the wrong way and I lost track of being decent.”
“I don’t blame you. I wasn’t upset that you spent the night with a man.”
Cassie cleared her throat. “Excuse me?”
“Come on, mom. Don’t treat me as if I’m a child. You’re different here lately, in a good way. You shouldn’t feel guilty that you’re finally happy again.”
Cassie hadn’t realized her happiness had been noticed, and yet she guessed she had been walking on a cloud and seeing herself in a different light. She’d felt alive since the doctor came into her life.
For the last several years, she had gone through her days as if she was playing a bad hand of poker. Like she’d been given the best ingredients and burnt the meal. Looking at her daughter, she was probably her greatest accomplishment.
“Can I ask what you and dad ever saw in each other?”
Cassie raised a brow. “Is it impossible for you to imagine your dad and I being attracted to each other?”
“No.” She giggled. “Maybe because you two are completely different. Was it love at first sight?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. Although I did admire his charm and focus. We became friends first, and then marriage just seemed the next logical step.”
“That doesn’t sound romantic.”
“Sometimes we believe love should hit us like a truck, like we should see fireworks, but that’s not always true.”
“But sometimes it can…”
Cassie could see Anna’s point. “Yes, and sometimes it can.”
“Who is the guy, mom?” Her brows scrunched.
There was no use in denying it. “Doctor Sam Saxour. He and I met while I was on vacation.”
“Really? And he came here to be with you?”
“Well, I don’t know about that…” She gnawed on her bottom lip.
“Mom!”
“Okay, yes. He moved here to be close to me, but it’s not that simple.”
Anna puffed out her bottom lip. “Is he married?”
“No, of course not!”
“And neither are you. So, what’s the hold up?”
Her heart raced a little. “At my age, I wasn’t thinking of starting all over again.”
“Yeah, because you’ll be getting a cane next week.” She rolled her eyes.
“Okay, I’m not old. I just have baggage.”
Anna relaxed against the wooden headboard. “Don’t we all have baggage? I mean, I might not know a lot about men, but take a look at dad. It’s so obvious he’s hiding his inferiorities with Susan. What does he have in common with her?”
“Susan isn’t to blame in this. She’s young and got caught up in your dad’s charm, just as I did at that age.”
“She knew he was married.”
Cassie chose not to say what was on her mind. “You know, you’re pretty smart.”
“I came by it honestly.”
*****
Sam felt his cell vibrate in the hip pocket of his scrubs. He pulled out his phone and read the screen. Cassie. He hit ‘dismiss’ and dropped the phone on his desk. Opening the patient file, he couldn’t see anything but the disappointment that made his gut tight. Clicking on the screen of the computer and scrolling through his emails, he barely registered the information.
The mayor of Oakland had him in knots.
Three days had passed since he’d seen her last—since they’d had an argument in his apartment. What had he been thinking by asking to meet her daughter? He’d never been a man to put undue pressure on another person, but when it came to Cassie, he lost all logic. Why did it matter to him if she allowed him into her life?
He tore a hand through his hair. It mattered because he had feelings for the frustrating, beautiful woman. Damn, he hadn’t meant for his heart to get involved.
Or maybe he did.
Hands down, Cassie Yearwood was the smartest, loveliest, most amazing woman he’d ever met. Since he’d met her, they’d been skipping around the elephant in the room—where do they go from here? Although he enjoyed having sex with her, he realized he wanted more. If he was still in his twenties, sure, a no-commitment relationship would be right up his alley, but now, at thirty-five, established in his career, he wanted to move to the next level. He wanted to be with someone who loved him for who he was, flaws and all.
He thought he’d had that with his ex. She’d wanted kids and he’d wanted to oblige her. So, after trying for six months with no luck, they each had gone in and were examined for fertility issues. The tests came back and he learned he was sterile. At first, his ex had sworn the news wouldn’t change anything, but she’d lied...about many things. Four months after they’d learned of his infertility, she’d ended up pregnant. She had traded Sam in for a TV personality who was twice her age.
Sam had gone through a bout of depression, feeling like he had nothing to offer a woman but, after several years, he’d concluded that this was the hand that was dealt to him and he couldn’t spend any more time feeling sorry for himself.
He'd been intrigued with Cassie the second he saw her sipping her Mai Tai on the sandy beach, that big straw hat on her head hiding everything but her lips. Hell, he’d even decided he could handle a sex only rendezvous, until his heart felt a familiar tweak.
She had her own baggage and she didn’t seem willing to drop it in the nearest dumpster and move on…with hi
m. Truthfully, he couldn’t go on as things were because his emotions were involved. It wouldn’t be fair for him or for her.
That’s why he ignored her calls.
Rubbing his forehead, he pushed aside his thoughts and concentrated on the screen. He had a patient who had been diagnosed with Lupus. He wanted to give her the best treatment possible. He typed up an email to a colleague he’d attended medical school with who specialized in immune disorders.
After he was finished, he turned off his computer just as the knock came on his office door. Shelby peeked her head in. “Sorry to bother you, doctor, but you have a visitor.”
“A visitor?”
“It’s Anna Yearwood, the Mayor’s daughter.”
Sam stared a long second. Why would the teenager be coming to see him? His heart skipped a beat. What if something happened to Cassie?
“Send her in, please.”
He would have known out of a hundred girls that this was Cassie’s daughter. She had the same thick, dark hair and blue eyes. This gave Sam a peek into what Cassie must have looked like in her teen years.
Anna seemed a little shy as she stepped into the office, and Sam was careful what he said since he wasn’t yet sure why she’d shown up out of the blue. She was the typical teen with a set of ear buds around her neck connected to her cell that was stuffed in her back pocket. She wore a Sam Smith T-shirt, holy jeans, and a pair of black Converse. “Please, have a seat.”
She dropped down in the cushioned chair and sighed. “Sorry. I don’t have an appointment.”
He smiled. “It’s okay. I have some time between patients.”
“I guess you must think it’s odd that I’m here.”
“Maybe you should tell me why you’re here first before I jump to conclusions.” He swiveled his chair so that he was facing her.
Hot as Hell (Studs in Scrubs Book 1) Page 6